I woke up the next morning and for a second, everything felt normal. I felt normal. But it was short-lived. I was still sleeping in the crib with the sides pulled up to keep me locked in and still unable to use the bathroom.

It was humiliating.

Mom stood beside the crib, smiling down at me like all of this was normal. "Good morning, Lyla."

I rolled my eyes at her and rolled over to face the wall and not her.

She sighed and lowered the side so I could get out. "Honey, you'll get used to this soon. Just try to keep your head up."

"I doubt it." I mumbled.

She walked over to the dresser and started getting clothes out for me. "Go lay down so I can change you."

"I'm not going."

"Your dad and I both have to go to work. We can't call off on our first day. Which means you have to go to school."

"I can stay home by myself."

"No, Lyla. You're going to school. Now, go lay down."

"I'm not wearing this stupid baby stuff to school."

"We have rules to follow. Just like anywhere else. You're wearing what I have for you here."

"This is stupid." I crossed my arms, just wishing all of it would go away. I wanted to wake up from the nightmare I was in and go back to my old life. I liked where we were living before and the friends I had. It was normal. This new life was...

Mom pulled the blanket down from my face and brushed my hair back. "Lyla, I know this is a big change for you. It's new for all of us. Just give it a chance for a while and you might end up liking it."

"I don't want to." Being stubborn was going to make my life miserable but I didn't care. It was all I had.

She turned her wrist up to look at her watch before she stood. "We have to get going so we're not late."

I rolled over onto my back and glared up at the ceiling, knowing full well I was going to have to get up at some point. Mom wasn't going to let me stay home by myself. Apparently I was no longer mature enough to do so.

Mom pulled the blanket back and practically dragged me from the bed. I followed her to the changing mat on the floor which was basically just a blanket laid out. I laid down and watched, uncomfortably, as she lifted my shirt and removed the tape strips from the diaper I was wearing. When she pulled it out from under me, she sighed.

"Lyla, you need to use your diapers." Even hearing her say those words felt degrading.

"It's embarrassing." My voice was so soft I didn't think she even heard me.

"If you keep holding it in, you could hurt yourself. The teachers at school aren't going to let you use the bathroom either so you need to use your diaper."

Tears stung my eyes at the thought of doing something so disgusting. I looked away as she put a new diaper on and taped it shut.

She said nothing more on the subject as she lifted my shirt over my head and put a burgundy t-shirt dress on me. She slid a pair of brown sandals over my feet and buckled them, not letting me help or do it myself. Then she brushed my hair back into a ponytail.

I hated feeling helpless. I wasn't allowed to do anything. Even simple tasks were taken from me. How little would I have left once all the rules were out in the open and I adjusted to my new life?

She put toothpaste on my toothbrush and instructed me to open my mouth.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep my tears from falling, and parted my lips. Everything I had to go through was so degrading and mom didn't get it. She didn't understand. Clearly, we didn't just move to a new town.

Were we now in a cult?

She squeezed my hand after putting the toothbrush back and walked around me to grab a backpack that had clean diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes for me. "Come on, sweetie."