I liked being able to sit at Ms. Diane's desk rather than interact with all the others in the room. The others played around the room as if it were normal. I wasn't sure how long any of them had been in town. They acted as if being a baby was normal which worried me. Would I end up that way?

After lunch, everyone but me went to cots on the opposite side of the room, near the bathroom that had no toilet, and laid down for naps. The thought of being able to take one made me less upset about being there. But not much.

Ms. Diane set several coloring pages in a pile beside me as well as a box of crayons. She pulled over a stool for me to sit on while she worked on some lesson plans and assignments. Which seemed trivial since we were supposed to be babies or whatever.

After the second time of me using the diaper, she handed me a piece of chocolate and I was starting to like the reward for doing something so disgusting. But I knew it wouldn't last because using the diapers was expected of us. It was a rule. And to not follow it wasn't an option. No one else got rewards for using their diapers. And as much as I liked getting special treatment, I didn't want to be singled out by anyone for being treated better.

I finished the final coloring page and put it in the completed pile. I sighed and my shoulders slouched. "How much longer until I can go home?"

She looked up from her notebook. "You still have about an hour and a half until your mom will be here."

I frowned.

"Why don't you go lay down?"

"I'm not tired."

She set her pen down and turned in her chair to face me. "Do you want to lay down by my desk here? You might feel tired once you're laying down and all covered up."

I was bored and didn't feel like playing anywhere. I had to be quiet which made it hard to find anything to do. Maybe laying down would do me some good.

I nodded and stood up so she could move the chair I was sitting in. She brought a cot and a blanket over and laid them against the side of her desk.

"I'll cover you up."

I laid down on the cot, surprised at how comfortable it was. It had a pillow built into one end and wasn't as rough as I remembered the ones being in kindergarten. Then again, I was five, and nap time was my favorite time of day.

She spread the blanket out of me and tucked it in around me. "I'll wake you up when your mom's here."

---

I made it almost the full hour and a half before I woke up. I was still tired but there was something more pressing that needed to be dealt with.

I frowned and sat up, careful of the way I was sitting.

"Did you have a good nap, sweetie?"

I looked up to see Ms. Diane standing at the table just a few feet away from me. She was cleaning off the tabletop. I bit my lip before waving her over to me.

She left the towel on the table and came over to me, kneeling down to my level. "What's wrong, Lyla?"

I gripped the blanket. I really didn't want to say what was wrong out loud. It was embarrassing enough already having to deal with it.

"Lyla?"

"I have to go..."

My ponytail was falling out and she brushed a loose strand behind my ear. "Do you have to poop?"

I cringed at how brash she was but nodded.

"It's the same as peeing in your diaper. Just push it out."

"Will... will it hold..."

"Of course, sweetie."

I covered my face with my hands. "What if someone else sees?"

She laughed. "Honey, everyone does it. Don't be embarrassed."

I shook my head. "I don't wanna do it here. Can... can I go in the bathroom?"

She pulled my hands from my face and held me to my feet. I followed her into the changing area and she shut the door behind her.

"It's hard to get used to it at first. Try getting on your hands and knees."

Tears filled my eyes at just how uncomfortable it all was.

She knelt down on the edge of the mat and rubbed my back as I did as she said. "Just relax, Lyla. Everybody uses their diaper so don't feel embarrassed. Soon, you'll use your diaper without even realizing it."

I really hoped I never got to that point.

I pushed and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the diaper fill up. It was far worse than peeing and I felt so disgusting once I was done. I didn't want to move for fear that the diaper would leak or things would... smoosh against me.

Someone knocked on the door and I whimpered, not wanting anyone to see me. I was already embarrassed enough. I wasn't sure I could take anything more.

Ms. Diane got up and went to the door. She spoke to whoever it was before leaving.

I opened one eye and saw mom walk in. Tears filled my eyes and I started crying, utterly embarrassed.

She sat down in front of me and rubbed my back. "Lyla, honey, it's alright. Why are you upset?"

"I don't want to do this anymore." I sobbed.

"This is our new home, honey. We have to get used to the new rules."

"I hate it here."

"Give it some time-"

"Stop saying that. I'm never going to get used to things here. I'm never going to like being here. I hate all of it."

She sighed and I could see the exhaustion from fighting with me. She just wanted me to start adapting to things. Resisting was taking so much from me and from her.

But I didn't care because it was unfair and she didn't see that.

"I just want to go home and be normal again."

She stood up and pulled me to my feet, against my will. "I'll change you once we get home. You're not arguing with me anymore without being punished for it."

My eyes widened and my heart sunk. "What? No. Mom, please."

She opened the door and waited for me to go first. Which I didn't. I didn't want to leave that bathroom with how disgusting I was and felt. "Go get your diaper bag."

Finally. I walked past her with bright red cheeks and grabbed the backpack from my cubby. I carried it by one of the straps over to mom. Except the door was already shut and you needed a key to get inside.

"Mom-"

She put the backpack on me, sliding each strap over my arms before I could fight back. "Lyla, stop. Not another word until we get home."

Where was all of this coming from? Why was she suddenly punishing me? I wasn't doing anything wrong. I had done every stupid thing they wanted and asked of me.

"But... I didn't... I was good." I said softly, feeling defeated.

Ms. Diane handed something to mom and whispered something into her ear. Then she nodded before walking to the cots where the sleeping kids where. She didn't even say goodbye to me.

Mom pushed something between my lips. A silicone pacifier.

She then put a hand on my back, over the backpack, and pushed me toward the door. "Let's go."

I pulled the pacifier out and felt my lips quivering. "Mom-"

She pushed the pacifier back into my mouth and I could see the anger on her face. It was the first time since we had moved that she was visibly mad at me and it scared me. Was I really that bad for her to be so mad at me?

"I told you no more talking until we get home. If that pacifier comes out, you'll be punished. Do you understand?"

After everything I'd been through, I was terrified of any future punishments. I simply nodded and followed her outside to the car without another word.