《Ramblings of a Bored man》Chapter 3 : Oh, boy..
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--Chapter 3--
Ho ho ho, now look at this NET!
That I just weaved.
When I say salt, be ready to burn.
SALT!
You burn yourself, not me, ugh, let’s jump off a bridge.
Hehehe, a nice song, isn’t it?
The chen boy has awakened, many gratitude, my dear author.
Hmm?
What is today’s topic, you ask?
Well, I want to continue off my life in this game-like world, but I need to talk about things first.
How about... women.
Yes yes, those devils in-disguise, with their cute and giggly acting.
Tsk, us men have to work our asses off for a good looking body and a job just so you could leech off of us.
Not to mention that you women just have to watch your diet, done, perfect and curvy body.
But chen boy, women also study for jobs.
Yeah, obviously, but when they ‘find their soulmate’, they don’t work, the majority, that is.
If you ask me, I condemn moms who work, unless they have an actual need for money, otherwise, who the hell will take care of the kid(s).
But chen boy, you are very opinionated because you are a man, this woman was able to make an achievement in science, this one in governing, this one in…
Fuck off.
Those are useless historic creatures that we only look at and be like ‘This is proof that women are capable’.
Open your mind, this is the present, damn it.
Yes yes, learn from the past and all that, then what?
This has diverged from women to history, anyways, back to the matter at hand.
So, those devils have many types, for one, there is the good type, which everyone longs for, but rarely exists because of this piece of shit of a society, requiring women to ‘mature’ and become ‘tough as nails’.
Damnit…
Second type, the slut.
Buy me this, buy me that, let’s break up, good buy.
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This was long story short.
By the way, the good buy was intentional, alright?
So.. number 3!
.. who is number 3?
The average woman, I guess?
They look moderate, act moderate, but beneath all that lays hell, just waiting to capture you in a moment of weakness.
Butbutbut, chen boy, those are incredibly exaggerated.
Obviously you dumbo, I need to EMPHASIZE, the dangers of these monsters.
Okay?
Topic end or nah?
No?
Fine, let’s talk about friendzones.
I’ll just keep it simple.. If he confesses, say yes or no, if it was a no, tell him that you want to stay as friends, and DON’T make it awkward for him, he musters up a lot of courage just to do it, ya’know?
Was that satisfying?
And a message to you men who were rejected..
Don’t stop being friends just cause of it, that is pathetic, and cowardly.
Where was all that courage from, huh? Pieces of crap, get your shit together and become friends once again.
And just a tip… Don’t be a playboy or look after any girl you see, those are the definition of scumbags and trashes of society, tsk.
Good good, message conveyed.
What, you want me to talk about men?
Stop being greedy, maggots, another time..
Now then, can I play now? Pretty please?
“Connecting.. Done. Welcome, Violett Blue.”
Hooray, now I can sense again, hehehehe…
So what are the plans for today?
Cut down all the trees and replant the land with modified ones.
But chen boy, how will you do that?
Simple.. I’ll just summon some low class monster, Imp, and give them a portion of my strength.
With that, they will summon Mana Axes and swipe through the trees with ease.
Hehe, that rhymed.
Summon.. a thousand, 500 cutters and 500 planters.
Yesterday (last chapter), I was able to create the modified seed, so all I have to do is clone it, and give each imp a couple of thousands of it.
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But chen boy, where do they store it?
I also created an Inventory skill, so the cutters will store the large trees, and the planters will take out the seeds and plant them.
Good enough of a plan, no?
Chen chen chen chen, what do you need the wood for?
Never really thought of it, I’ll just create a wooden tower and burn it, I don’t know.
With a whole line of Imps standing on the outskirts of the forest, I shout.
“Cut them all down, leave no one standing, Hahahahaha!”
Like a villain, I ordered the Imps, and they made quick work of the forest.
Looking inside my inventory, I can see it get filled up with fruits, logs and leaves.
Thank you, Inventory Link.
So, what now?
You demand a fight? With whom?
The writer!?
Are you crazy? Are you outta your mind!?
I can only shiver when I think of battling the writer..
Actually, why don’t we continue where we left off?
Creating lifeforms!
Let’s create Fairies, yes yes, they will nurture the land and serve me well.
Let’s make two types.
We have the big fairies, basically, Elves, but not really attached to wood like normal.
Second is cute, small fairies that can sit on your shoulders.
Good enough.
Now then.. Do I make it so that the small fairies are able to become as big as a human adult/child or only the Elf subspecies?
Hmm…
Yeah, sure, let’s make them able to become as big as a human child, just to satisfy pedophiles such as myself…
Actually, it isn’t pedophilia as long as their age is of an adult, and they’d only be able to become so big when they become adults, which is 6 years.
As for personality, Fairies and playful and mischievous, but Elves are somewhat serious and annoying, but that won’t make it any harder to have them serve me, hehehehe.
So the species are done, now how do I get them to life?
Hmm..
Creative mode, oh creative mode, just spawn them in front of me.
...Before that, I haven’t specified how they mate, did I?
Small Fairies are all females, and they reproduce by… gathering up magical energy and then boom, the forest will bear a fairy child.
Elves, on the other hand, will do it just like normal humans.
And I never set the lifespans.. Tch, why am I so incompetent..
Elves can live for thousands of years, and same goes for fairies until they go old and, poof, disappear!
Obviously, they have high affinity for Air, Plant, and Earth magic, both of them.
So, now all I do is spawn them later, when the forest has been planted and ready to be inhabited by them.
Me eyes, they look at zat mountain.
Mine is larger, though.
Let’s bless that mountain with an infinite supply of metals, inside and around it.
On the inside, it grows a metal called Corromium, which is the ultimate metal, however, around it are iron, copper, and many other vein types.
Good good, every week, the veins regenerate, using MAGIC!
Nah nah, I’ll connect it to my Creative mode, so whenever the time comes, it regenerates out of nothing.
Great, time to mine!
But chen boy, isn’t it very far? Besides, the Imps are still cutting the trees, ya’know?
Sigh… stop trying to give me that, I’ll just jump from here to there, I’m plenty fast and strong, ya’know?
I gotta stop saying ya’know, ya’know?
Fine fine, I’ll stop it since I’m getting annoyed myself, says the writer.
Aaaaand… Jump!
Wooosh!
“HAHAHAHAHA! IT ISN’T A BIRD, IT ISN’T A PLANE, IT IS…-!”
--Chapt
For god’s sake, stop doing that, and let me play more, please!
No.. nonono, DON’T DISCONNECT ME!
“Disconnected.”
DAMN YOU!!
--Chapter 3 end--
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