《A forgotten ruler》Chapter 59 Hitomi’s concerns
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Hitomi POV
“You never wanted me involved but the consequences of the gods and goddesses afterwards in deprivation was devastating to all living beings. Our highest population that made up 80% of our world reduced to less than 1% of its former glory. And they were a soul race. This tells you just how dangerous they were. 5% of the males are still the most decent but the hardest to look for. If we reduce the gods earlier on with your two former predecessors we can probably succeed.” (Hitomi)
‘It’s unnecessary for me to remember all details. I have a different archive for it all.’ (Void)
“Look even if we both know the facts but we have to start carefully with the races before Luna can influence them.” (Hitomi)
“Then I guess I’ll be here for a bit longer. Just don’t allow Rika to know about it.” (Eris)
“She probably won’t be able to either way.” (Hitomi)
“What do you mean by that? Actually why would you even agree to me.” (Eris)
“Because Rika is fighting for everybody. Even if they don’t understand her actions. That person is the type to never stray from her path unless she was influenced in her new life. But since she remembered her first and second. I think not. She is still the same. Her reasons to fight is the same.” (Hitomi)
“How are you so sure we’re on the right side.” (Eris)
“Because I saw her true actions through willpower projection. She takes in all the negative emotions of the people and their fatal injuries. But for her it’s like she’s dying all over again. I don’t understand how she kept her sanity even with Corruption influencing her. If I was her I would’ve succumbed already.” (Hitomi)
“Are you sure even without us that things will be the same for you.” (Eris)
“I felt no malice from you or Rika.” (Hitomi)
“But you can’t believe someone you just met for the first time.” (Eris)
“It was a nostalgic feeling meeting Rika. I guess that’s due to the link though.” (Hitomi)
[Rika didn’t hate you. Nor does she want to make anyone more miserable than she is. She herself can’t even able to appear in front of Luna or Luna will try to kill her in denial. Instead Rika has more family issues than you think. While she has it also clean up after Luna’s sick hobbies.] (Void)
‘Wait a fucking minute here. That sounded annoying to me. The way you talked. You opened your mouth and it was as if I heard your voice inside my head as well as outside. Then there’s the status window doing pop ups of your dialogue. Please go back to just mental chat. It seems annoying. I can’t concentrate.’ (Hitomi)
‘Suit yourself.’ (Void)
“It’s because Rika seemed kind. She didn’t take advantage of me, even if she was a stranger to me.” (Hitomi)
“That’s true but you couldn’t have known we were helping you or doing things for your benefit.” (Eris)
“Yet the way Rika spoke was for my own benefit instead of taking advantage of me.” (Hitomi)
“How are you so sure.” (Eris)
“You’re trying make me doubt you two after seeing all that. Is that how you see me Eris.” (Hitomi)
“What, no! Gods no, it’s just that you’re too similar to Grace. She’s actually the type to investigate though. I’m certain that’s the first thing she’ll do after reviving Jem. It’s rare but all us female concepts in one timeline is a very occasion.” (Eris)
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“I’m sure I’d get the skills later after I get out of here. I myself don’t trust Luna to help. She maybe creditable but she’s not the type to be useful any situations. More like she’s a pig teammate isn’t she. Teaming up with her means getting yourself slaughtered.” (Hitomi)
“It’s not that bad.” (Eris)
“Really from what I saw Luna did a number on Rika. So much so that she couldn’t see, her other wounds wouldn’t even heal anymore. Until you hid her with you after you two reset the world. You’re saying she’s in the right? Luna didn’t seem like she was right or wrong. It seems more like a brat taking all her anger out on the world. Just because her sister wanted to help everyone including her.” (Hitomi)
“She’s not so bad.” (Eris)
That nervous laugh is fooling no one. Especially when I saw her stupidity at the fullest. She (Luna) just wanted her sister (Rika’s) attention and approval. Yet she was in denial that the alive Rika wasn’t her sister anymore. Luna was actually wrong in that aspect. Rika in her 1st and 2nd life was still her sister. But not in her third life. Her soul was but her body wasn’t related so it was a half right answer.
Maybe that’s why I hated Luna. Especially so when I saw everything that happened. She had a warm happy family to return to yet she forsake it. It was destroyed by her own hands. It was different from my parents and half siblings. They were always busy. The one one most stuck with me was Niana. Since she was similar in age to me. There were maids to look after me but they weren’t what I wanted. I know that my family did at least care for me. After all the lives I saw through Rika’s actions and the projection.
The one that resonated me with the most sadness as Rika was the mirror demon locked in tower by her family. All the way until her death, she wanted to go out of that tower. Rika would go visit her every once in while to sing and play piano to her. Her name was Kiyoko. A caged bird that Rika did her best to free but was too late. When Rika did try the girl was on her dying breath. Shattered to pieces like ice in Rika’s arms as she cried in pain.
“While were at it. If we do go to the past I’m saving a certain girl early. She doesn’t deserve to get locked up for something she was void of doing. Her family members and race can burn for all I care for using her as a sacrifice for their survival.” (Hitomi)
“Wait Hitomi, why do you sound so extreme now.” (Eris)
“Wasn’t it your fault for bringing me along with your whims.” (Hitomi)
“But isn’t race extermination kinda messed up even for a angel princess like you.” (Eris)
“It’s fine they’re scumbags of the society. They sacrifice a small baby into isolation in a cold tower. There’s no need for such a race to exist except her lineage. Plus they themselves were more deprived than the gods. I mean they even go as far as eating their own kins.” (Hitomi)
Her expression showed the look of I think I accidentally broke Hitomi. Which made me smile bitterly at her. Yet I sat down on the heart shaped rock. My eyes wondered to the twin moons. This was the look that Rika enjoys the most. The feel of the wind gently caressing my face as I can hear the horses running down below in the plains inside the valley.
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Those grass by my feet were a beautiful green glittering as if it was another world completely. Eris on my side seemed to shut up in guilt. I’m sure it’s not her fault but she knows the burden that she has to do is gonna cause Rika.
“We both know that you dying is gonna make her grieve more than Luna killing Kana indirectly.” (Hitomi)
“I shouldn’t have taken you there even if you’re my last resort.” (Eris)
“Yet I’m the key to the doors of that trial for you.” (Hitomi)
The way she smiled bitterly back at me in this situation told me a lot. Her emotions were on a sleeve when it comes to Rika. Maybe just maybe Rika didn’t really mind. It seemed like she enjoyed her time with Eris. More so than when she was around the older Luna. That’s what I’m certain of. They seemed more like siblings than the older Luna who was left behind by the years.
“Is this choice of yours truly what Rika wishes for.” (Hitomi)
“If she wishes to win, it’s the only thing that needs to happen. Even if she doesn’t want to. I won’t dirty her hands. She’s too kind to Luna. She (Rika) only thought of how to strip her (Luna) of her (Luna) divinity but keep her alive. But you and I also know that even so Luna is a time bomb waiting to explode. We’re unsure if she’ll kill the future Rika for her actions in the present here.” (Eris)
“But here’s a question I wanted to ask when Grace revived. Is she a nudist by any chance.” (Hitomi)
“Her hobby is a exhibitionist. Nudity doesn’t faze her. That’s the only bad trait she has. Of course she isn’t bothered by it. Grace is great at everything but she understands things as well. It’s just the time and place that happened she didn’t really care about it because it was us.” (Eris)
With a blush on her face as she vanished on the spot. She was a soul projection after all so it didn’t bug me but my eyes went to Void. Something tells me she lied that’s what my Phoenix instincts says. Phoenixes have a unique ability to tell if someone was lying to them. It was unique for each individual. Yet for me who probably wasn’t yet 20 it probably hasn’t awaken. Though the instincts of them isn’t wrong. Plus she didn’t leave me since she knows that Eris will return.
“You lied about three things. Rika wasn’t your other soul. 2nd was your race. 3rd was that your a being outside of my understanding.” (Hitomi)
‘Smart of you to apply race instincts into play during our talk. You did say closest in human languages. Not that it’s completely wrong.’ (Void)
“Rather the reason your not stopping Eris is you want to do something about Rika.” (Hitomi)
[A smart girl indeed. You really shouldn’t have known but you’re watching from 3rd person from the sidelines. Then I’ll say it. I’m also a Soul Race. Similar to the Destruction Phoenix I have eidetic memories. But the difference is what happens to souls that gets reborn so many times that they no longer have to go. They go to the world of nothingness to turn into exactly that. Then in that place new souls are formed to be dumped out. I myself am similar but I get implanted all memories of the previous me.
Through Rika I want to recreate something similar to myself. So I allow her access to two of the places I’m born from. As for my real race. I’m an Abyssal Void Eater. I don’t eat races like them and the terms of Abyssals don’t apply. Abyssals are all sisters. That includes halflings, quarter and their descendants. Just they don’t have the race cravings. But yes I can eat Worlds if that is my wish. Just it gets so boring. So I thought it’d be interesting to cast myself aside as a soul. I didn’t expect to see such a glowing soul like Rika. A glow similar to me.] (Void)
“You can’t be serious. You’re planning to force her to go through a process that’s worst than what she felt when she took on everyone’s pain.” (Hitomi)
‘That person can take it. Her soul has already gone through the two processes of the void and nothingness. The first life she was sent straight to the latter. I saved her from the process completely but I’m not wrong she’s similar to me. That’s why she was there after her first life.’ (Void)
“Rika isn’t similar! She’s kind, she isn’t indifferent like you.” (Hitomi)
“The only timeline you couldn’t truly peek into was Grace’s. It was the time in which I was alive still. I wasn’t much different from Rika. She doesn’t need your sympathy Hitomi. What she needs is to embrace all 5 worlds. Abyss, Void, Nothingness and Chaos.” (Void)
“Wait that last one, I know it. It’s the place that Corruption was casted into by every race after the gods voted for it. But it was also a place for creation magic and destruction to exist because it was itself had life energy that was existing inside. That was why she has so much life energy inside her though she was all the negativity of us as a whole (all races).” (Hitomi)
That smile showed me something I didn’t like. I understood what this person was doing. She wasn’t doing this for amusement, it was because of the loneliness of someone at the very top of the food chain. Void didn’t want to be the only one to suffer anymore. Rather she wanted someone to accompany her.
“You’re doing this because of selfishness.” (Hitomi)
‘Don’t worry I linked the soul sacrifice into the chaos and abyss. She’s already linked to the first two. It's fine. She also has a contract with me to kick out outsiders invading my home in the void. Well in her case it’s reincarnation for them. But it’s a win win situation for me.’ (Void)
Dear God please send someone with common sense to this entity for once. Her words sounded so one sided and cruel to the victim that I didn’t even have the courage to listen to the rest of her plans.
“I think you should at least allow her to choose for herself.” (Hitomi)
‘That’s no fun. I wanna see what she comes out as. And just how much more powerful.’ (Void)
“I should’ve named you manipulative insane muscle brain for instincts.” (Hitomi)
‘I’ll take that as a praise. But I didn’t deny that Rika was related to me somehow. I never agreed or denied that she was my soul. Yet I never said it either. That’s why I say her shine in soul is so similar. Maybe it’s because of that. It makes me want to see the change itself before me with my own eyes.’ (Void)
Ok not sick but very deadly in the I’m curious of the process. Good riddance she’s worst than a child in curiosity.
‘Did you know that status system was useless to me.’ (Void)
I didn’t know but judging from her smile on her face under the blindfold. She was happy to have someone to converse with. That’s the feeling I get. Rather I sense zero malice nor do I sense emotions of gentleness and kindness from her. It made me wonder and bothered me to no end. I just had to ask her the question I’ve put off since I first saw her.
“What happened to your emotions? Truly so that your face barely changes. And that mask it’s sealed isn’t it.” (Hitomi)
There was a long pause between us. The mystery of her past was something I know I shouldn’t know as a stranger. But the curiosity was something I had to have answered for myself. Actually now that I think about her voice it sounded normal but with an intense feeling of sadness that ran through to your soul.
“It was but a naive person who came to learn the cruelty of the outside world. I tried to help a village girl escape a arranged marriage. She got caught in the end. 2nd time I tried to help she betrayed me because she didn’t want to be sacrifice for their fake god. Thus with this mask I sealed my sight and most of my irrational emotions.” (Void)
“But neither of you were wrong. She just wanted to survive and you just wanted to help.” (Hitomi)
‘Then I stopped caring. Ironically so it was that same person who called my eyes beautiful. But I didn’t really need my sight to see in the first place.’ (Void)
“So you’re blaming yourself for the mistake she made. By self abusing yourself.” (Hitomi)
Her hand went to the silver blindfold with gold inscription that covered up to her half of her nose. She removed it but when she opened her eyes for me I was surprised that it was out of focus. Yet the clear platinum eyes with amber goldish irises. I could tell she didn’t unseal her sight meaning it’s (the blindfold) still connected to her eyesight. Void’s aquamarine hair was glowing brightly like her body was earlier. Like the very sun in the sky but at the moment I was staring at the twin moons to distract myself.
“You, yourself said you’re a world eater. But you never done so. So how do you know.” (Hitomi)
‘Instincts are never wrong for us here in the Realms. Isn’t that right Hitomi.’ (Void)
“What do you mean.” (Hitomi)
‘Rika never told you but the higher levels skills, it’s divided into rulers: king (10,000-30,000), queen (30,001-40,000), emperor (40,001- 50,000), Empress (50,001-80,000). And so on it’s no something you should be worrying about.’ (Void)
“Right my question is why does Rika not eat fish or seafood. I know she’s a soul projection. But she avoided these two a few days back.” (Hitomi)
‘Isn’t it disturbing. That fresh aquatic animals can speak like an intelligent 10 year old. It’s kinda a trauma for Rika to eat after that.’ (Void)
“Remind me to never be around fresh ones then. I don’t think I want to miss out of such good and tasty food.” (Hitomi)
Yet she put back on her blindfold. If anything it bothered me about her sight. Void moved around like it didn’t bother her. So I know she can probably sense or hear her surroundings. But her words of Rika bugged me. It’s a trauma for Rika to eat so she avoids it. That kinda explains her complicated look at the fish.
“Can’t you fix it.” (Hitomi)
‘One must overcome it themselves not rely on outside help.’ (Void)
“Answer me this why does Rika lament that she should’ve stayed dead instead of reincarnating.” (Hitomi)
‘It is because she doesn’t want to suffer through emotions again. Because she herself has been there with everyone in their tough times. She only wishes for their best. Yet she herself doesn’t want to be alive living with them like this. It makes her also feel powerless.’ (Void)
“But because of her she saved millions to trillions because of her actions. Though she puts herself down so badly.” (Hitomi)
‘It’s her life. A melancholy personality that’s seen all the negative emotions through. They run so deep inside her that she herself can never forget or forgive herself for forgetting.’ (Void)
“That’s why Rika’s other wish was if I was reborn back in the Realms let me have a eidetic memory. So that I can never forget the lives that lost. But I know it’s a double edge for her. Why does she want to do this to herself.” (Hitomi)
‘Maybe the answers you seek is by being close to her.’ (Void)
“Then what about you? Why don’t you return your own emotions.” (Hitomi)
‘Because I don’t need them to function as a whole. It is also why the humans are still alive now. Aren’t they. I just makes sure they don’t make other races extinct permanently. For I care not for the gods. They live for themselves and fear that which can kill them. Thus they destroy cities, towns and villages for a crime those people didn’t commit yet. And they themselves set the very person they fear on that path.’ (Void)
“I’m aware of that but, you have sealed your emotions since are you certain they won’t run amok now that person is long gone.” (Hitomi)
‘Maybe. Rika’s choice at the end of it when I’m revived will answer your questions. But I’ll give you another hint when I die the seal will come undone.’ (Void)
Why the hell did she give me such a riddle from a old mythical book. ‘When I die the seal will come undone.’ It tells me it’s more than just her eyes she was talking about. What else could’ve she had sealed. My eyes widen at her hair then her figure before me. An unsettling and unshakable truth that I didn’t want to know.
“This form isn’t your true form. The hair color is but not your appearance. It also seems you’ve sealed your powers too.” (Hitomi)
‘As I expected you noticed it so soon.’ (Void)
“Then the truth of Rika is she hates herself doesn’t she.” (Hitomi)
‘Oh you noticed from the trials. Yes that person hates herself more than anything. She’s also harsher on herself because of what happened to Luna when they were younger. Actually she has to be both the sister and mother for the young Luna. That is why she’s her current self.’ (Void)
“Then when Eris wish is fulfilled what will really happen to the current you.” (Hitomi)
‘My well-being isn’t your concern. You should be focused on your own life and its surroundings.’ (Void)
“My family is this type. It’s in our bloodline we can’t ignore others wellbeing. We only get rid of the ones who deserves it. Sometimes we work as spies for information. Other times we help others in need when they don’t ask. So I can’t just leave it alone.” (Hitomi)
‘It’s called being nosy Hitomi. I don’t really need your help.’ (Void)
“Then why did you talk to me.” (Hitomi)
‘Because deep down you already know.’ (Void)
That can’t be right. The unsettling feeling I have of her can’t be right. It’s not true then. It couldn’t be, but my mind and heart told me the answers for me. Rika was the outcome she casted away. Luna was her soul. The body both Rika and Eris is inside is her container. Meaning the souls inside resonated with hers. Making them unable to be let go from one another.
“The human’s soul. That’s your third one. And Grace knows where the 2nd one is.” (Hitomi)
‘I can almost see the gears working in that mind of yours. But I didn’t ask you to solve the mystery. It was bugging you since you first saw it.’ (Void)
“The truth is that the soul is truly sleeping. That's the reason why Rika they, could occupy your body. You allowed it to happen. But is that soul truly even you anymore. She’s probably been sleeping far longer than Irene but unaware.” (Hitomi)
‘Sometimes being too smart can be very problematic for your brain. It’ll give you a headache to no end.’ (Void)
“Actually the world tree does bug me. The elves are homeless because she became a dryad after becoming aware.” (Hitomi)
‘But we both know that what truly bugs you isn’t that. It’s the soul inside with Rika them right.’ (Void)
“It’s vague but from Rika’s memories she talked back once. It was more of a ‘it’s not me, that person isn’t me.’ That was all I saw in Rika’s memories. A place like water with a ripple with a body sleeping in the center. That’s the farthest I could see with my soul prying. Not her hair color or anything else just the place she was inside the mind. Though it didn’t seem like she was against Rika.” (Hitomi)
‘I call her sleeping princess because I’ve never seen her awake since I’ve cast her aside from myself.’ (Void)
“Then your the jerk that left her in such a lonely desolate inner world of her mind.” (Hitomi)
‘Didn’t it have a sky at least.’ (Void)
“The skies were white like a wall. Her words sounded like a child’s. I’m certain she’s fully awake.” (Hitomi)
I can’t fathom why she’d cast her soul into three. Although I’m certain that one already fused with Rika. Just that she still had her personality. It seems like I should ask Rika next time about her.
‘It’s because that sleeping girl that the dead comes to them in their mind. She’s a bridge to the ghosts and the newly deceased. That’s also why Rika their main body is so depressed but she herself can’t end them. Because all three of them existed in harmony.
Yet are counterbalancing each other. Eris brings feelings to them. Rika can’t feel pain and is almost emotionless because she sacrificed it. And the princess is very much the one who has the most control to their inner world in their minds.
That makes her the link to your world here also. What will happen when she’s forced to awaken by fusing. Would I cease to be me or a whole new me or the previous me before I casted it all out.’ (Void)
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