HOW A LAME LONER'S LIFE IS NOT LIKE NORMAL DUDES

Chapter 6:

An unimportant meeting with SuperHawtGuy!!!

I saw a boy wearing black shirt where it’s written SuperHawtGuy (he’s wearing blue jeans too). He appeared out of nowhere! And why does he look so good? I think I’m getting a boner.

“Ewww, Are you gay?” the boy who I think- no, who is the author of this story asked me in a maniacal way.

“Well I believe you didn’t make me one right?” Wow nice comeback Akito!

“You should know that I wrote your comeback.” Said the author or should I call SuperHawtGuy.

“Just call me the author.” The fuck he can read my mi- oh he’s my writer. Can’t he just ummm make me- never mind.

“Yo author. Why are you making me talk with you?” And I know that he made me ask that.

“Well before that let me tell you something.” I nod at that.

“I’m the only guy who can turn you o- I mean give you a boner” The fuck!?

“Umm…… Okay?” Oi I tried to be silent. (Fuck! he’s clusterfucking my mind!)

“Oh seems like I’m cluster fucking your mind huh?” I have nothing to say anymore………..

“Anyways let me show you a cool thing” after saying that he clapped and the whole background changed. Well let me tell you guys (yeah the readers) detail about the background. *Coughs*Eghm-

Green grasses everywhere

With a vast blue ocean

The Ocean didn’t had a beach with sand

But with light green grass which gave me peace.

Waves of the ocean gives me the-

Wait the fuck am I doing? And what the fuck was that?

“Yo Author, What the fuck do you want with me? And what’s with the background?” I asked the author in a seductive tone. What the fuck? Why the seductive voice author?

“Oh you’re trying to seduce me huh? Anyways this is the imaginary place where I’m going to have a friendly chat with you. If you don’t like it then I’ll change it.” He answered with a smirk.

Okay I start to notice that I’m not making any facial expressions when I talk. And I can’t express the emotions I’m feeling. Like I care? (I care actually) The Author is controlling my actions you know. And he’s making me act like gay (which I’m not). FUCK!

“Okay I’m going to change the background because a beach without sand doesn’t feel like a beach.” He then clapped and we’re inside a slimy, fleshy, pink place.

“Hey, where the fuck are we now?” I asked the Author with a moaning tone. Can’t you just stop playing with my tone!?

“Well my answer is nope. I won’t stop playing with your tone…. And the place we are inside is a womb.” Said the Author while unzipping his jeans and playing with the sausage from that area (you know what area) instead of his dick…………………… WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU FUCKING MY MIND? WHY DID YOUR CRO- I MEAN DICK TURNED INTO A SAUSAGE?

“This shitty sausage instead of my dick gave you a cluster-mindfuck right?” What the hell?

“You want to eat his right?” He asked me a dumb question. My answer is no but I think he will make me take that 13 inch sausage (How the fuck do I know its size?) in my mouth. (It sounds inappropriate as it is).

“Yes” FUCK! I WANT IT (HE FUCKING CHANGED MY MIND….. By the way this is my sub consciousness, and I bet the Author intentionally didn’t changed it… is there even a point of not changing?)!! I then sat like a dog and waited for him to toss the sausage.

“Here it goes buddy!” He then threw it on my side. I opened my mouth so that the sausage covered with slime of the womb enters my mouth so that I can eat it! (FUCK NO! WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WILL EAT THAT SHIT!!?) Everything’s now in slow motion. The slime is splattering on my face and the sausage being few centimeters away from entering my mouth. COME FASTER YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!! (NOOOOO DON’T!!) I wanna taste your flavor Sausage-san!! (HELL NOOOOOO!)

“Just like a dog huh? Maybe I should take it.” I heard the Author say that. But where the fuck is he?

“You pal I’m inside the sausage!” WHAT THE FUCK?

“I mean I am the sausage!” WHAT THE CLUSTER-MINDFUCKING SHIT IS THIS? I STILL WANT TO EAT THAT SAUSAGE!! (HELL NO! I’M NOT TAKING THIS SHIT!)

I see a hand appeared above the sausage and it’s holding it. I presume this hand is the Author’s. Anyways the floating hand took the sausage away from me and starts grilling it. The fuck?

The Author somehow ‘magically’ appeared and started grilling the sausage…… He’s grilling a sausage in a woman’s womb……… Who the hell ever grilled a sausage inside a woman’s womb? The Author’s mind is really fucked up! He should consult a psychiatrist or something.

(Anyways my plan of devouri- I mean eating the sausage went away because of the retard grilling the sausage over there.)

“Yo pal, for your information we’re inside a fat zombie hippo’s womb!” Here he goes reading my mind-…… I mean this makes him more fucked up!

He then stared at me for few seconds and ran towards a fleshy slimy zombie hippo’s womb. He then started to beat the wall with the sausage like a retard and was screaming “I’M BEATING A WOMB WITH A GRILLED SAUSAGE. I’M BEATING A WOMB WITH A GRILLED SAUSAGE. I’M BEATING A WOMB WITH A GRILLED SAUSAGE.”

Anyone would surely think he’s retarded. Why is my Author such a retard?

“You don’t like this place?” he suddenly asked me in a worried tone. Okay stop with the tone changing and ask normally.

“Yes this place is making me feel uncomfortable.” I said like a noble man. Can’t believe the author made me talk like a noble man for once!

“Wish granted! Then let’s get inside a zombie’s asshole!” He said and I quickly retorted “HELL NOOOOO-”…… Who the fuck cares now he clapped when I was retorting……..Yeah I’m inside a fucking zombie’s asshole. This place smells like shit. Yeah shit literally!

“Okay please change the place!” I begged him while getting on my knees. Did I just kneel on a zombie’s shit inside its asshole? Well……Yes I did!

“Look what you made me did…… You made me knee a zombie’s asshole and it made my knee get covered and stained in zombie shit.” I said with a cocky tone. (Seriously is this the right moment to be cocky? Shouldn’t I be angry or something? And who the fuck acts cocky in this situation).

Anyways the Author suddenly wore boxing gloves where the brand’s name is NFB Gloves. For some reason I know that in this story NFB means Not For Boxing. Who fucking cares about the abbreviation?

Okay he started punching the fleshy walls and loudly saying “I’M PUNCHING A SHITTY ASSHOLE. I’M PUNCHING A SHITTY ASSHOLE. I’M PUNCHING A SHITTY ASSHOLE.”

“Okay let’s change place.” I said that hoping he’ll change the location.

“Then let’s go to Jupiter!” he clapped (Hell Yeah) and we’re in Jupiter. Okay how can we stand in Jupiter? And why are yellow and orange rocks over there? The fuck? Wasn’t Jupiter a gaseous planet with no solid surface?

“Oh it’s my imagination of Jupiter. So you can’t tell it’s the real Jupiter. And those two places I mean the zombie hippo’s womb and the zombie’s asshole were all my imagination. Well you know I was never inside them haha. Anyways, those two places were cool…… But in this story the Jupiter where we are is the real Jupiter and personally I don’t like to be here so I’m changing our destination. (Well that came out of nowhere…..)” So all these bullshit you just said was for nothing?

(Well let me answer you. Yes he was! And by the way the, Author himself wrote this.)

He doesn’t care about all this shit though. He just clapped and took us to another place. This time it’s a really beautiful place.

Let me tell you the detail about the new place. There is a house where I suppose a happy cute family will live in. And the place consists of green grass, tall trees, a small pond, river and a road. You can see White Mountains from here and the river most likely formed from this mountain.

“Anyways you’re still turned on now right?” He asked me while smirking. And I put my hand on there to see if I still had the boner or not. *Touches* 100% sure that I still have it.

“Yeah still have the great boner because the Author wanted me to have it, and I know the Author gave me the boner by writing and also made me say this shit!” Woah the comeback was cool. In your face cluster-mindfucking piece of fuckfaced gorilla’s shit!

“If you have problem with this face then I don’t mind having the face of a cluster-mindfucking piece of fuckfaced gorilla’s shit!” Wow he just copy pasted those words.

*Claps*

“Wow you look like a cluster-mindfucking piece of gorilla’s shit!” I exclaimed acting surprised.

“You know, me once 2 tits?” What does he mean?

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, you know, I once chopped off 2 tits?” Well that came out of nowhere…….

“Anyways this place is nice you know!” I said trying to lift the awkwardness away.

“Well yeah of course it’ll be good as it was chosen by me!” he put his thumb on his chest to show that he’s really proud of his decision of bringing me here (Imagine a guy with fuckfaced gorilla’s shit doing the pose. It’s hilarious right!). Well that’s good because all the awkwardness went awa-

“And here you will have a sex scene!” And I got cut off before I finishe- Wait what!!? I’ll lose my character virginity right in front of the Author.........

“Don’t you worry; you’ll bang a really hot girl.” After he said that a smoking hot babe arrived after he (of course) clapped.

“I’m gonna have sex with her?” I asked the Author. And he nodded at that. HELL YEAH I’M GONNA HAVE SEX WITH A SMOKING HOT BABE!!

“So…….. We’ll do it in private right?” I asked the author again. And he answered saying “Yeah but you’ll have to do it in third person narrating.”

“Excuse me? I don’t get you?” I asked in confusion. I looked at that smoking hot babe and noticed something. SHE’S NOT A SEX DOLL!! INFACT SHE’S A REAL LIVING (Living in the Author’s imagination) SMOKING HOT BABE. OOOOOH LOOKS LIKE I GOT A BONER.

But somehow I got turned down looking at the author’s disgusting cluster-mindfucking gorilla’s shit face. Anyways, I asked the author

“Why am I going to have a sex scene here and now?” He looks bewildered at my question.

After few seconds he answered “Because…… I want to get horny while reading my own shitty book! I bet the readers also want the sex scene!” Oh shit I forgot about the readers. But I thought this book was not about fanservice. Maybe the author changed his mind.

“So…… who is that babe?” I asked an unimportant (Personally I think it’s really important) question to the author.

He smiled at my question and answered “This is actually a gorilla’s shit that looks like a girl. Don’t get disappointed because she’s not a shit anymore. It’s a real life girl in my imagination and she’s smoking hot. And this is your only chance to fuck this hot babe because I plan to continue with the plot rather after finishing the fanservice scene!”

By the way, he winked after answering me. I know saying this was unimportant. But the Author wanted to reach more than 1800 words by doing this pointless shit. Shit!!

“So how will I narrate the sex scene?” I asked the Author (Why am I just asking things here? Can’t he made me do cool stuffs instead of asking?).

I get all that bullshit but what will he talk about after the sex scene? I just hope he doesn-

“You’re going to have sex over there…… I mean that house. Now I need to make it night and make you narrate” He then

*claps*

“A well dressed boy named Sunekawa Akito and a smoking hot well dressed babe named Ex- Gorilla’s shit entered the house. And the long awaited sex scene will not happen! Just kidding, the boy went to the girl and asked “Are you fine with a virgin like me” and the girl answered “Yes” and with that there’s the view of the house from outside and none can’t see what those two were doing. Oh look! The sun is rising. And the boy came out of the house looking really dissatisfied and angry. What might’ve gone wrong at the house yesterday night? To find out let’s get inside that boy’s head”

“What the fuck man? I didn’t have sex? And what’s with that bullshit narrating?” I asked the author while being angry.

“Yo pal, you’re just asking me stuffs again and again. Why can’t you do something new? Anyways you just had sex.” What the fuck?

“Don’t bullshit me you cluster-mindfucking piece of shit! How can you call just standing- YEAH STANDING IN FRONT OF A SMOKING HOT BABE WHO TURNED INTO A GORILLA’S SHIT SEX? AND WHY WAS THE SHIT WEARING BIKINI? AND HOW DID THAT SHIT WORE THE BIKINI? IS YOUR MIND THAT FUCKED UP?” Man I feel so humiliated now. Damn! But this guy now turned my feeling of humiliation into feeling respected. THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS AUTHOR-SAN.

“Well if a story narrates the characters had sex then they had sex….Simple!” He ignored the shit. And he also ignored my question about it wearing a bikini.

“What sort of lame ass answer is this? Well I half predicted that you’ll do this with me.” I said that feeling sort of humiliated again and he smiled like a creep at my question I fucking swear.

Readers…. Yeah you….. Yeah I literally mean you reader-san. Just imagine a shit smiling at you. If you did then tell me how did then tell me how does it feel like. Okay now tell me how will it feel like if a cluster-mindfucking gorilla’s shit smiles creepily at you……… Terrifying right!

“Oi what’s with you talking with the readers?” The Author asked me that. And he also added a long bullshit “Why were you lying to yourself about half predicting that I’ll toy with your virgin heart? You know I didn’t write anything about you half predicting me trolling you.”

“You wrote that I’ll lie you know!”

“Even if I wrote you to lie….. You shouldn’t have lied” said the shit like a kid. With that I snapped and internally said ‘Enough of dealing this shit’.

“You know you should choke on your own dick and die…… Fuck do you know how much you fucked my mind today here in this dream? I feel like I’ll get retarded after waking up. AND TELL ME WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CONTROLLING ME TO SAY ALL THIS SHIT? WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU CONTROLLING MY EMOTIONS? WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU LET ME LOSE MY VIRGINITY? AND WHAT WAS THE IMPORTANT TOPIC YOU WERE ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT?” Great with that I’m feeling GOOD!

“Are you done with the shit I wrote?” Seriously, is he asking me that?

“How the hell should I know?” Suddenly I feel a strange urge. I want to jerk off using slimy shit……. What the fuck!

“Did I just write you want to jerk off using slimy shit while you eat shit of a zombie who’s suffering from diarrhea?” Where the fuck did the last part came from?

“Well yes- I mean yes to the first part and no to the last!” The fuck did I just said?

“Wait…… That made like no sense at all. Are you fucking retarded?” Fuck you’re really asking me what you just wrote. I wonder who the retarded one here is.

“Okay just stop cursing me in your monologues okay. I want to talk about the few important topics about this story.” Finally! We’re done with this shit!

“Well I’ll stop cursing in my monologues if you want me to. You know you’re the writer here and you’re writing all these shitty chapters.” I feel it was really unnecessary for me to say this. But who cares if he just writes all these shit to drag the story for no reason?

“I had enough with your monologues! I’m now giving a 2000000 million years time skip for no reason. Well that’ll be a reason because the reader will know why I brought you here!” Yeah just keep dragging words asshole.

“Okay here we go” *Claps*

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Okay, I’m not telling you what we did at 2000000 million years time skip. But let me tell you a small detail. WE DID NOTHING. And the time skip was fake as human fucking an elephant. I just stood there for like this word to be written here in the story. In easy words ‘I did nothing rather than waiting to say all this shits in my monologue.’

(The whole time skip thing was unnecessary in other words)

“Okay let me tell you something Akito. But before I tell you the important detail, let me tell you that you don’t have to talk. You can just talk to me about all this in the monologue. If you ask me what’s the point of this then let me answer your damn question before I write you to ask it? I JUST WANT TO WASTE TIME.”

Okay what the fuck? Anyways, why am I here?

“Well you’re here to talk to me” He clapped after saying that and brought us to the weird floorless, dark background place where there’s ashes, mirrors and glasses are floating.

“Anyways, I said anyways a lot in this chapter right? Anyways, I am planning to change little stuffs from the story.”

Okay, then what do you mean by changing ‘little stuffs’ exactly?

“Well, I’m planning to change chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- actually I don’t. I just want to change the story adding a little unique spice.”

So you mean you’re going to remake the whole story?

“Hell no I don’t. Didn’t I say I’ll add a little unique spice?”

What will the spice be?

“Restart by changing the tone of the story in later chapters.”

Why that?

“Because the name of the story is ‘How, A Loner’s Life is Not Like Normies’. It’s not ‘How, A Loner’s Life Changed After Meeting A Girl!’ or a story which took a route about the Main Character and the Author randomly chatting and doing random cluster- mindfucking shits!”

(I still think that I’m a loner though…..)

Okay…… So what do you plan on doing?

“Before I tell you my current plans let me tell you my old plan. I wanted you to rape the girl- I mean Nozomi at the secret place. Get you discovered raping by a random dude. He punches you in the face. Calls the Police and send you in jail. Your parents disown you after you go there. And escape the jail by joining a fucked up gang. Then make you a lone wolf gangster who’s in a gang which kills people for cash and drugs.”

Wow you tried to make a dark fucked up shit.

“Well you should hear the whole story first. Anyways, I tried to turn you good after all those messed up shit you do by making you work for the police as you got tired of the gang. But society will treat you like shit even though you helped them capturing the gang.”

Okay…….

“Then would’ve make you change city from Chiba to Tokyo after renting a house with the money you earned as a gangster to start a new life. You would’ve been as a construction worker because of lack of education you received due to being in jail. Anyways, I planned you to meet a blind girl named Marika. She’ll be in a hospital near your construction site where you will be working. Somehow you both will fall for each other in a non Mary Sue way. Then later you’ll marry her and will have had 2 kids with her.”

Well that’s Cool and sweet at the same time.

“Then one day you’ll get back to your house at night and see blood, blood, blood. You’ll also find everything broken and messed up. And the body of your blind wife’s head decapitated. Let me define you, her guts would’ve been over you whole bed. Face burnt due to acid throwing…. But you will pick the head up, close your eyes and cry closing your eyes. And think ‘THE FUCK IS HAPPENING’.”

What the fuck?

“You’ll then kiss the decapitated head. While you smooch you’ll notice something is inside the mouth. You’ll put finger inside the mouth to find that a pen drive was wrapped inside a paper where there are few words covered in blood. But you would know what it meant. By the way, the words written are ‘Watch this video you traitor’.”

So it was the gang?

“You then run your laptop, play the video. You’ll see more than 10 or maybe 20 men gang raping your wife while she’d be screaming not knowing what’s just happening. Your old gang boss included. While they are raping few gang members will give your kids drugs and take them away from home. Anyways, after they finish raping your ex- boss will throw acid in her face which will lead her to scream. And some random gang members slice your wife’s belly to take out her kidneys while messing up her guts here and there even though she’ll be alive. Then a random gangster will decapitate her head which will kill her.”

Man this shit is messed up! But what happened next in that shitty fucking messed up head of yours!!?

“Well…… You get insane after watching the video. You take a knife in your right hand and your wife’s decapitated head on your right. And start running on the road like a madman. Then a truck hits you *BAM* The End”

Holy shit! You wanted to write a fucked up tragedy story……?

“Well not now. And personally it felt cringe for me to write that.”

Glad you didn’t.

“Anyways what I’m about to say is this story will have an-”

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After the author said all those crap about how he’ll spice the story and the chapter ended.

“Hell it didn’t”

Yes it did. But anyways SuperHawtGuy who are you?

“Well I am you, you know? Anyways you should wake up now!” *claps*

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The fuck did I just dreamed about again? And why are my pants wet I believe it was not a wet dream. Fucking Shit! I need to take a shower.

Before walking to shower I notice its 5:57 AM. FUCK THIS SHITTY ASS DREAM! I PLANNED TO WAKE UP AT 8:12 NOT MOTHERFUCKING 8:00 AM!

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Hah, all clean now! Taking shower after wet dream is the best (actually not). I should probably go and take a nap now.

Oh just forgot to say that Nozomi and Yumiko just finished watching Shingeki no Kyojin in Kyo’s room. They stayed here too.

To Be Continued

A/N: Readers be like “WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?”….. And please forgive me if this chapter somehow made you feel uncomfortable or sad at the ending. And I promise I won’t do this ever again. So please don’t leave the story if you caught up to this chapter. Because the story is going to get real right after chapter 10. So please don’t leave the story because only 3 more chapters to go for the main shit to start!

P.S: If you somehow liked this story for any unknown reason please be sure to follow it. And also tell others to read it (if you can tell them).