《I Live a Funny Life》Chapter 1: Something is different by the gate

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Annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying.

Someone please make whatever creates that annoying sound stop.

I hesitantly open my eyes, I move my hand to my side, To where the voices came from, I touch the object.

It’s my fucking phone.

I tap the screen and bring it to my ears. Nothing can be heard.

“What the fuck?! Don’t call someone this early in the morning if it’s not important!”

I check the screen, it was my alarm going off.

“Well damn. Fuck me right?”

I check my phone again, 6:57 am. School starts at 8. My bed seduces me to go back to sleep, my bed’s seduction is better than an instant noodle when I’m hungry.

“Fuuuuuccckkkkk…..”

I sit down and stretch my arms upwards. My school is pretty near, so I can take it easy.

“Then again, it’s pretty near, maybe I should go back to sleep..”

I look at the note on the small table besides my bed.

“Don’t be late to school ye’ cunt.”

Thanks Dad, that helps. A lot.

I get off my bed, pick up my towel from my balcony, and head straight to shower.

“Ouch! What is this? North pole?!”

The cold water that is suddenly being sprayed out of the shower makes me jump, I didn’t know the water at Japan can be this cold.

Fuck man, I wish there is a water heater or something, like at my father’s friend’s house before I started living in my apartment.

Somehow, I went through that cold shower in one shape, I walk out of the bathroom, I think I just got hypothermia.

I dry myself off, and puts on my uniform. At least it makes me a little warmer.

I look at my phone again, 7:30 am.

“Right, let’s go.”

I said as I grab my bag and exited my room. Because of yesterday’s little incident, I always double check my door. Even a little event like that could change your entire life, then I walk towards my greatest enemy.

There it is, the elevator.

“Fuck you.”

“Why?”

What? It talks back?

“You can speak? What the hell?!”

“Of course I can dude, I’m a normal human being.”

What?

“To your right by the way.”

I look to my right, there is a slightly dark skinned tone girl besides me, from a glance, she looks very tomboyish, her short hair makes her even look the part.

“I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Then who are you talking to? The wall?”

“Uhh, I just said that to the elevator.”

“What did it do to deserve that?”

“Claustrophobic…”

She nods a couple of time while saying aaaahhhh..

“Yeah, that. So I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Well, that’s okay. I’m Suzuki Saya. We are in the same school.”

She’s a junior too. Why do I keep meeting girls? Like I said, where are the dudes?

“My name is Reno Mikhael. Spelled Mikael by the way.”

“I know who you are.”

Oh?

“Oh yeah? How?”

“The foreign student from class 1-A right? You are pretty popular already.”

I’m trying so hard to hide my grin, I must look like I’m dying to take a shit right now.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting that.”

Mike did though. He said foreign students tend to get popular more quickly.

“I saw you coming out from 469, now I know where I can bother you when I need a company.”

“You know, that’s kinda rude considering we just met like 5 minutes ago.”

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“Who cares right?”

I do, she might be up to no good for all I know.

“Right, that can wait actually.”

“For how long?”

“Till we know each other better of course.”

“You are more uptight than I originally thought. You look so relaxed around those two guys from your class.”

This girl is a stalker, I need to keep my distance.

“I have a friend in class 1-A.”

It doesn’t make me feel any better.

“Oh yeah? What’s their name?”

“Komiya Inori.”

“Oh her? I met her yesterday.”

“I know. She’s my friend.”

Of course, Ms. Know everything.

As we keep talking, the elevator arrives, I hesitated to walk in, but she pushed me inside. Like before, I hold the handle like my life depends on it. As a matter of fact, it actually does.

As we arrive at the bottom floor, I quickly steps outside, inhaling that sweet air of freedom.

“You look tense. Ease up a bit bro.”

“Well no shit, I am claustrophobic.”

“Well, it’s over. So ease up little man.”

“Little man? Screw you.”

It feels weird, this is the first time I ever talk to a tomboy.

“Am I talking to a girl or a boy?”

She laugh. Why is it every time I ask a question, everybody laugh?

“Don’t worry, I won’t take that as an insult.”

“Well I was asking, not insulting.”

“I am a girl bro, don’t you see these boobs sticking out of my chest?”

I look down, and quickly up again. It could be a trap, the moment I look at her boobs she will scream Pervert.

“Yeah right, nice try. I’m not gonna fall for that.”

“You almost did.”

“Almost, not even close.”

I look at my wristwatch, 7:45 am. Plenty of time left, it’s only a 5 minute walk to school anyway.

“We should go now by the way. It’s already 7:45.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Let me ask you this. How?”

She points her finger towards the wall at the lobby, there is a clock there, a grandfather’s clock.

“That’s cheating. I thought you were some kind of esper, or someone with psychic ability.”

“You’re funny, you know that?”

“I won’t take that as an insult.”

She laugh again. Talking this casually with a girl that I just met, feels new and weird to me. Maybe because she’s acting like a boy, but who knows..

We arrive at the school gate at 7:55. Longer than I thought it would be.

“It took longer than I thought. I honestly thought it would be a 5 minute walk.”

“It would if you don’t wet your pants every time you got off that elevator.”

“Fuck off..”

Perhaps it was because of my insult that the elevator decided to go slower. Well, I’m not late, which is nice I guess.

We walk to where the Junior years shoe locker are, she keeps talking, talking not asking like Ryu and Miura did. She’s very interesting, and cute too. Then again, I haven’t found a single girl that is not cure here, let’s hope I won’t.

We arrive at the shoe locker, I went to mine, she to hers, I change my shoe, she comes to me.

That’s not poetic at all.

“Let’s go. You changes shoe like a girl.”

“Aren’t you?”

“But how come I’m faster?”

Man, this girl is something.

“Fine, let’s go. Class starts in 5. Which class are you again?”

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“B. we’re neighbors in so many ways.”

“Let’s keep it at that.”

“Aww, c’mon man, let’s be friends.”

“Hmmm…”

As I ponder there, I remember that my class is just a few hundred meters away from the shoe locker.

“See you around, Reno.”

“Yeah, sure. Later.”

I walk in, surprisingly, not that many people stares at me today. Well, it’s been our 2nd day. The fact that there is a foreigner in this class shouldn’t be weird to its dwellers right?

As I walk in front of the class, I can hear a small voice coming from besides me.

“K-know… S-saya?”

“I don’t know where you are, but can you at least show yourself before you speak?”

Something pokes my thigh.

It comes from my left, so I turn that way, there she is. The Introvert.

“Oh, it’s you. What were you saying again?”

“I-I said. You k-know Saya?”

Saya? Where did I hear that name before.

“Oh you mean Suzuki?”

“Y-yeah, her. Do you know her?”

“Well, I just met her this morning. Why do you ask?”

“N-nothing really.”

She tenses up. This girl is an introvert, I knew it.

“Oh, thanks for giving information about me to her by the way.”

I put on an angry look, joking of course. But her expression changes into fear.

“Whoa, hold up. I’m just joking.”

She lets out a relief sigh, as if I’m just joking about taking her lunch money.

I can’t help but laugh at her, poor girl, she must be lonely.

How do I know? She sits in the front row, at the middle too.

And she smiles a bit, that’s a cherry on top I guess, pretty nice to see after the hectic morning that I just experience.

I told her I’m going to my seat, she just nods. So I do, But it’s not over yet, I’m greeted by the dynamic duo.

“’sup? Got lost on your way home yesterday?” Miura asked.

“My chance of getting to my place safely is higher than the chance of you getting a girl.”

“Oh, shit!” Ryu said.

“Ouch bro, don’t rub it on my face like that. By the way, I saw you with Suzuki from class B.”

“Yeah, what’s the deal with that? Walking with her in the morning like that.” Ryu said

“We’re neighbor.”

“Huh, must be though.” Miura said

“Why’s that?”

“She’s a tomboy.”

“I can see that.”

“She’s very carefree.”Ryu said

“Trust me, I know.”

“Her chests are moderate.” Miura said again

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

As we keep arguing about pointless stuff, Mr. Nakamura walks in. If I remembered correctly, right now Mr. Nakamura should be teaching math.

Nice, the good stuff early in the morning. I love it.

As Mr. Nakamura explains the basic equation, I can see that some of high spirit I saw this morning, has begin to disappear from the students. I mean, what kind of monster decided that learning math is a good way to start your day?

As for me, I tried my best to focus, even though math is not my forte. It’s one of my weak points in fact.

Mr. Nakamura keeps explaining with high vigor, how? How the hell can he do that? Are all math teachers like this? Unlike the students however, we are waiting for that sweet sweet sound of lunch bell.

I check my watch, 11:55 am. Are you serious right now? I feel like I have been here forever.

I look at my book, there are some equations, which I regret looking upon, it drags me down even lower.

Like what the fuck kind of demon puts alphabet and symbols between these numbers? Who did that?!

As I try to find out the answer for that, the bell rings. Lunch time is here. At the same time that bell can be heard, Mr. Nakamura starts going out of the class.

I stretch my arms again, I let out a long yawn at the same time.

“Hey Reno, you bring lunch with you?” Ryu said

“Nah, I live alone. And I didn’t have time to prepare any.”

“Well, that’s too bad. Guess you are stuck with cafeteria food.” Miura said

“What’s wrong with that?”

“They usually taste mediocore. Not bad, but not good either.” Miura answered

“Better than starving I guess. Well, see you guys later.”

“You going alone?” Ryu asked

“Yeah, with whom should I go?”

“I don’t know. Suzuki perhaps.” Miura said

“Lay it off bro. gimme a break.”

Yeah that’s right bastards, laugh while you can.

As I make my way outside, I notice someone is standing by the door, and when I look at their face.

“Suzuki? What are you doing here?”

“Hey! Speak of the devil.”

“What?”

“She’s looking for you.”

Oh wow, really? I can’t believe I’m THAT popular. With high hopes I walk outside, only to be disappointed. It’s just Komiya, not that I mind, but I thought It was someone else.

“What is it? Can I help you?”

“She wants to invite you to lunch since you help her the other day.”

“Help with what?”

Even though there are 3 of us, somehow Me and Suzuki are the only that talks. Komiya is hiding behind Suzuki.

“Ask her yourself.”

“Wha-“

“But later, let’s head somewhere first. If you ask her here and right now, lunch break will end.”

That’s rude, but fine by me. I’m starving anyway, and hey, free food. Probably homemade too, couldn’t get any better.

I asked her where we should eat, but she said she have no idea, because she’s a junior, I mean we all are. So for now, we decided to eat at the cafeteria.

It’s crowded, I mean, it’s normal right? is it?

“Let’s sit there at the corner. It’s empty.” Komiya said

We head to the table that’s apparently really is empty.

“Ladies first.”

“Stop trying to be a gentleman. You wet your pants this morning didn’t you?” Suzuki said

“H-he did what?!”

“What?! No! don’t spread lies about me like that!”

Suzuki laugh, and smiles widely after that. Somehow, I just found myself another asshole.

“A-anyway, this is my thanks for helping me yesterday.” Komiya said

It looks good, looks better than instant noodles, but does it taste better though?

“Since Inori is making enough for the three of us, you don’t need to hesitate. She’s a good cook.”

“I-I’m still learning. But I hope you will enjoy it.”

She’s cute and a good cook? Damn, unlike that girl besides her. How can 2 person with totally different personality wound up together?

“Can I ask something?”

“To who?” Suzuki ask

“Both of you, I think.”

“Let’s talk after we eat shall we?”

“Okay then, if you say so.”

Komiya gives each of us her home made bento, I can’t help but noticed her fidgeting while she hands me mine.

It’s a simple omelette, with rice, and bits of sausage, this is simple, but the egg smells good. I tried my best not to sniff, that’s the most rude thing to do in front of the one that cooked it. I take a bit of rice and the egg with my chopsticks, and immediately eat it.

”Wow! It taste good.”

“What’d I tell you?”

“T-thank you..”

“Do you cook often?”

“I made lunch for me and Saya every day since middle school.”

Wait what? Every day? That’s a bit too much don’t you think?

“Every day? Really?”

“Yeah, we go way back.” Suzuki said

“How far back?”

“Since we were kids.” She said

“Childhood friends huh?

“Saya is not always like this, She was-“

Before she can finish, Suzuki shove some food into her mouth.

“It’s doesn’t matter right? Let’s eat!”

Now I’m curious, but if I ask Komiya again, she might receive another unexpected guest.

And after a while, we finish our food. Komiya volunteers to go and buy us our drink. I feel bad really.

Well, maybe a little. But what counts is the feeling right?

“I’ll have the usual.” Suzuki said

“W-what about you Reno?”

“Sweet iced tea.”

“Really? don’t you want anything else? Suzuki ask

“Nope, and don’t make me repeat myself. Thank you.”

And with that, she walks away.

“How long is our break anyway?”

“30 minutes, if I’m not wrong.” Suzuki said

I check my watch, it’s 12:18. It’s only been 18 minutes, we got 12 left. Enough to relax a bit I say.

“So, Reno, you want to go home together today?”

“Tempting, but no thanks.”

“Why? We are heading to the same place anyway.”

“Same building, different rooms.”

“Same thing.”

“No it’s not.”

“You wanted to ask something right?”

And I found myself another mind reader, well, the first case wasn’t really a mind reader.

“How did you two wind up together?”

“Long story.”

“We have 10 minutes.”

“Too short.”

“Can’t you make it short?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a long story.”

“You know what? Forget it.”

She grins, kids these days.

”Different question then.”

“Sure, hit me.”

“What did Komiya mean by you are different from back then?”

“Say…”

“What is it?”

“You’d rather get hit with the right fist? Or the left fist?”

“Neither.”

“Well if you want answer, you need to provide me with some amusement.”

“You want to beat me up because I want to know whether you’re girly in the past or not?”

“Yep! Equivalent trade.”

“That’s not equivalent.”

“So you don’t want to know?”

“I’ll just ask Komiya later.”

“Good choice.”

“I thought you won’t like it if Komiya talks about you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well I just witness you shoving food into her mouth the moment she said something about your past.”

“Well, what she said behind me is her business right? Not mine.”

“Even if she talks shit about you?”

“Trust me, she won’t.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the way she is. She’ll never talks shit about someone.”

“Other than herself.”

“You learn quickly.”

“It’s written all over her face though.”

“She’s always been like that, quiet. I tried my best to make her a little bit more, active. But it’s really hard.”

“I can see the problem.”

“What’s that?”

“Not going to tell you.”

“What? Come on…”

If I tell you, I have the feeling you’re going to beat me up. Because you are the problem.

“If you want to help her, then don’t drag her to the tomboy path.”

She hits my head. What the fuck did I do wrong?!

“What the hell?!”

“So you think I’m the problem?”

Shit. Did I just developed a new habit of saying whatever pops up in my head?

“No offense, really.”

“None taken, but FYI, I’m not trying to make her like me, like this, that is.”

“What are you even saying?”

She opens her mouth, but at the same time, 3 small boxes of different kind of drinks are suddenly being drop on our table.

“S-sorry for the wait!”

Did she just shout?

“Well no problem, you save me back then.” I said.

“W-what? From what? I-Is Saya bullying you?”

“Ye-“

Someone kicks my leg, and I know full well it’s not Komiya.

“We’re just talking, being a new neighbor and all that.”

She smiles, how can you smile after making someone suffer that much? Is she a sadist?

I want to protest, but I see that Komiya manage to get me my sweet iced tea, so the wait was totally worth it.

“Thanks for the drink Komiya.”

“N-no problem.”

There are 2 drinks left, Strawberry milk and cappuccino flavored milk. Komiya sits down and quickly grabs her drink, which is the cappuccino one.

Wait what? Then that only leaves the strawberry milk, and the only one that have yet to drink is Suzuki. Her? Strawberry milk?

“I want to say something…”

“R-reno, you better not ask or say whatever it is that’s in your head right now.” Inori said

“No, let him ask Inori.”

“B-but…”

Suzuki gives us an intimidating glare, as if she’s daring me to ask.

“Strawberry?”

“A few things from the past that I still like today.”

“That’s-”

“S-surprising…”

What? Komiya speaks when I’m in the middle of saying something? That’s even more surprising for me.

“Why’s that Komiya?”

“U-usually, Saya would dodge that kind of question, or sometimes give those who would ask that intimidating look.”

“Yeah, but that’s just a test really, if they really are curious, then they’ll keep asking, like he did.”

“I feel honored.”

“Y-you shouldn’t.” Komiya said

“Why?”

“Because from now on, like it or not, you’re gonna be stuck with me.”

Well, shit. Being stuck with a cute girl is one thing, but to be stuck with an annoying one is another thing.

“I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“S-saya always means what she said.”

“That’s not helping at all Komiya…”

“S-Sorry!”

Why does she keep shouting?

“We’re done here right? Let’s go to class.”

Me and Komiya agree to her suggestions, I check my watch while I’m at it, 12:28. Being only my second day here, I can’t help but having a stomach ache after I see that. I prompt Komiya and Suzuki to walk faster after I told them what time it is, Suzuki doesn’t give two shits about it though, Such a carefree girl. Komiya however, probably have the same stomach ache like I do.

We said our farewell to Suzuki, but Suzuki pats Komiya head, that’s kind of cute actually, they look really close. Well, being a childhood friend can bring two people that close, so it’s not that weird. Me and Komiya go our separate way, she said later and then sits on her chair, I went to mine and the dynamic duo greets me again. I have the feeling that they are going to ask me questions.

“Hey Mr. popular! Enjoyed your date?” Miura said

I know it.

“I guess being a foreigner helps make you popular huh?” Ryu said

“First of all, it’s not a date, we’re just having lunch together. Second, who can refuse an invitation from two cute girls? While the other one proves to be an annoying person though.”

“Which one? That quiet girl from our class?” Ryu asked

“No, I meant Suzuki.”

“I can see that coming, she acts like a boy.” He said

“It’s as if she’s just pretending to be a girl. Could it be that she’s a trap?”

“Those boobs look real to me partner.” Miura said

“well, can’t argue with that though.”

“And she’s cute too. Why don’t you go for her? You two are neighbor right?” Ryu said

“No way dude, she’ll work my ass off if I go out with her.”

“Soft dudes like you need a Lioness, not a pussy cat.” Miura said

“Hey, Fuck you.”

“Which reminds me, where do you live anyway Reno?” Ryu asked

“The apartment around the block.”

“Whooo, look at mister rich here. Let us crash today.” Miura said

“Only if you bring food with you.”

“Why the offering?” Miura asked

“A little something to respect the dweller, I suppose.”

They look at each other, discussing in silent about my proposition.

“You both know that I’m just messing around with you right?”

“I think this is the part where I should say fuck you?”

We all laugh, they are so bad at telling the difference at when I’m joking and when I’m not.

The day goes on, we keep on studying, I mean, we are students after all, studying is what we do. So far, my dream of studying in Japan is going on nicely, I like it here, the atmosphere, the smell of cherry blossom in the morning, students walking down the road from and to school.

Now I’m just being dramatic. But I’m grateful for this experience, really I do.

After several hours, the bell rings, it’s time for us to go home. Because after lunch break we are not studying Math, the class were in high spirit trough out the day, but I think we all can agree on one thing, we are all going to hate Tuesday morning.

As I put my things in my bag, Miura and Ryu waits for me outside of the class, they really are serious about crashing at my place after school.

So I walk out, but I notice that Komiya isn’t here, and here I was going to say goodbye to her.

“Let’s go you two, stop flirting with each other.”

“Hey, I’m straight.” Ryu said

“Correction, we’re straight.” Miura said

As we make our way to the lockers, I notice Suzuki and Komiya are together. So I call them.

“Hey Reno, going home?”

“Of course. How about you two?”

“We’re going to my place.”

I immediately turn to Miura, but it’s too late.

“I’m Yoshimoto Miura and this is Aogahama Ryu, we’re about to crash at Reno’s place too.”

“Miura…”

“What?”

“I hate you…”

Suzuki laugh, pushing Komiya till she’s besides her.

“I’m Suzuki Saya, and this is Komiya Inori.”

“ So you are the one called Komiya, you know, Reno was looking for you yesterday.” Miura said

“Hey! Don’t make it sound weird.”

“I-I’m sorry..”

Why is she apologizing?

“Why are you apologizing?” Ryu said.

“B-because, even though I told him I’m going to the class room yesterday, I actually went to library again.”

“I don’t think that’s worth apologizing for.” I said

“Well since we are headed the same way, let’s go together.” Suzuki said

Well, she does have a point, and we don’t have any reason to say no, I told them I need to swing by the convenient store first, so we are taking the long route.

As we make our way through the gate, I can’t help but feel funny, all of us talking and walking together like this, even though I did this before, but somehow this feels different.

Maybe because it’s my dream to do something like this that it feels different.

“Stop smiling for no reason you creep.” Miura said

“Sorry, can’t help it.”

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