《I Live a Funny Life》Chapter2: Never judge a book by its cover.
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“It’s dark man, what the hell? Are you a cave man? Ever heard of light?”
“Miura, stop complaining. We just arrived here for fuck’s sake.”
So I turn on the light, and it illuminates my room immediately.
“Go ahead guys, make yourself at home.”
“Pardon us for intruding.” Ryu and Miura said.
I take off my shoes, turn around to close the door behind me.
“How rude. You’re not going to invite us inside?”
“But I thought you two were going to your place. Not mine.”
“It’s livelier here right Inori?”
She nods, say something damnit.
“All right, go ahead, make yours-“
Suzuki walts in, remind me again, is that person really a girl? Even a chicken like Miura is more polite than her.
“P-pardon my intrusion.”
At least someone else is polite here.
“Sure, go ahead.”
After Inori goes in, I close and lock the door.
I walk inside, everyone but Inori are already comfortable in my living room that consist of large sofabed, a sofa that can turn into a bed, right now, it’s on bed mode.
There’s also a game console and a large tv, there is also my computer not far from there.
“I hope I remember to shut it down.”
“Hey Reno! What are you doing standing over there?” Ryu calls for me, reminding me that I own this place.
I walk towards them, telling them to move from my position, which is the center of the bed.
“Hey man, you got something to eat?” Miura asked
“What did I tell you about food and visiting?”
“So that’s why, hospitality in exchange for food.” Ryu said
“Yep, why do you think I told you that?”
“Yo, order a pizza man, come on.” Miura said
“Who’s paying?”
“Who else?” Suzuki said
They look at me, talk about great teamwork.
“Really? I don’t mind, but I don’t know any pizza restaurant.”
“I do, pass me your phone.” Suzuki said
“My phone is over there, by the computer.”
Suzuki walks over to the computer desk and sits on the chair while meddling with my phone.
“What the hell man, it’s locked. You got porn in your phone or something?”
“No, and it’s one two three four”
Suzuki is quite for a while.
“It’s incorrect. You sure you haven’t forgotten?”
“That’s my password.”
“C’mon Suzuki, we’re hungry over here.” Miura said
Suzuki throws my phone to Miura, giving him the gesture for him to try it himself. True enough, Miura meddles with it.
“What the hell. Are you sure it’s one two three four?”
“Yes it is.”
“How come it’s wrong?”
“U-umm..”
Simultaneously, we all shift our attention to Komiya, which make her nervous, being stared by 4 people at once.
“Ummm…”
“Speak up Inori, as long as I’m here, these guys won’t dare to do anything weird to you.”
Not that we want to anyway, I mean, who would hurt such an innocent and cute looking girl like her?
“M-maybe, Reno’s password is two four four four…”
“Huh? But he said one two three four.” Miura said
“Exactly that.”
Because Komiya said that, Suzuki, Miura and, Ryu are silent. Since they are going nowhere with that, I decide to give them a little push.
“One two three four. Say it slowly.”
“One.. . two… three-“
“Reno you sneaky bastard!”
Ryu is the first to break the curse, Finally.
“Ryu, I knew you are smarter than the rest of them.”
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“Hey, I can hear you.” Miura said
“What makes you think I don’t know that?”
“I-it’s, one two, and three four.” Komiya said
If Suzuki and Miura were like me, there should be a loud click sound in their head right now, saying ahhhh almost together.
Bollocks.
“Get it now?”
“Yes I do, Reno, remind me not to put you in charge of security next time.” Miura said
“Ryu and Komiya, make me in charge of security next time.”
“Sure thing dude, you’re the man.” Ryu said
With the phone unlocked, Suzuki dials some number, and not long after, she starts to speak up, making sure she’s calling the right number before placing our order.
“By the way Reno, what’s our budget?”
“2 larges.”
She immediately orders two large meat lover pizzas. Miura, Ryu, and me doesn’t mind.
“Komiya, are you okay with full meat menu?” I asked
“I-I’m okay. I like meat.”
“Like I do!” Suzuki said
“No one asked you really.” I said
“Order some soft drinks too while you’re at it.” Ryu said
“Yeah, two large soft drinks too please…”
Please? Did she just say please?
“He said it’ll be 1.500 yen.”
“Got it.”
“what’s the address?”
“You live here and you ask me?”
“I forgot that I live here for a moment there. Sorry.”
She give out the address in detail, changing her room number with mine of course, don’t want the delivery man knocking on empty room.
“How long?”
“The fastest to my room was 20 minutes.”
There is silent in my room, all I can hear is Komiya’s nervous breathing.
“By the way Reno.” Suzuki asked
“wassup?”
“What makes you study in Japan?”
“Good question.”
I change my position from lying down to sitting down.
“Because I want to study here I guess.”
“That’s it? That’s boring.” Ryu said
“I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
“I thought you are trying to search for your loved one or something.” Miura said
“You watch too much dramas dude.” I said
“Or at least something more than just want to.” Miura said
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“I-I think it’s great, you w-wish to study here, so you go to Japan.” Komiya said
“Yeah dude, ambition.” Ryu said
“Not ambition, more like burning desire.”
“Aren’t they the same thing?” Suzuki asked
“Nope.” I said
The air is heavy somehow, I don’t recall this being a controversial topic to discuss. Miura starts to look around, until my gaming console grabs his attention.
“Hey dude, you have the latest Moonlight Fighter game?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let’s play while we wait.”
“That’s a good idea. Nice one Miura.” Ryu said
“Sure, go ahead.”
We decided that we’re going to play a tournament game while we wait, since there are 5 of us, the matchup is Me against Miura, Ryu against Suzuki. Komiya volunteers herself to play against whoever lost at the first match. Which is Ryu against Suzuki.
10 minutes in their match, Ryu lost, Suzuki won without efforts.
“Man, talk about being suck at this game.” I said
“Yeah, do you even know how to parry?” Miura said
“Hey, shut it man, did you see how good she is with her fingers?” Ryu said
“I don’t like foreplay though.” Suzuki said
Hold up, did she just say what I think she did?
“Wait up, what do you mean?” Miura said
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“S-saya always means what she say.” Komiya said
Suzuki laughs, I wonder why.
“You finally did it Inori, after all this time you finally said it.”
“Said what?” I asked
“Nothing, it’s between me and her.”
“That sucks.”
“Anyway, next match!” Suzuki said
We receive our controllers and starts to focus. I’m not bad at this game, and I’m confident that I can earn a flawless victory against Miura.
5 minutes into the game, I won. What the hell, this is beyond child’s play.
“You suck ass dude.”
“Fuck you.”
“So, who’s going to fight Komiya, is it you or me?” I said.
“Wait, that’s-“
Suddenly the door bell’s rings, I immediately walk to the door. I look through the peep hole, and I can see the Pizza man, so I quickly open the door. After giving the exact amount of money, he and I says thank you, and I close the door, and carry these large pizzas to the other.
“Hey, I need help with the drinks over there.”
“I got it.”
Miura ran to grab the drinks, and comes back in an instant.
“The hell? How can you be so fast?”
“I’m hungry.”
“We haven’t even opened it dude, damn, calm down.”
As I open the box, we can see the steam escapes from the box. It’s big. I’m not sure even the 5 of us can eat it all.
“Should’ve said 1 larges instead.”
“What are you saying? Isn’t it mans rule that says the bigger the better? Suzuki said
“True, but I don’t think that rule applies to this. Shouldn’t you three eat dinner at your home or something?”
“Not a problem for me and Ryu though. I don’t know about her, Komiya, that is.”
“I-I’m fine too, I also live alone, so I can count this as dinner too.”
She live alone? The calm and quiet Komiya? I look at Suzuki, and she just smiles to me, as if she’s saying, yeah dude, that’s right, got a problem with it?
“Dig in guys, Just this once, this once, it’s on me.”
“Dude, we get the message already.” Ryu said
All of us eat like savages, taking pieces of pizza like it’s the last box that exist, the only one that keeps their calm demeanor is Komiya, as expected of her. But her living alone? Still can’t wrap it around my head.
I check my watch, it took us 20 minutes to empty 2 large box of pizzas.
“two large box in twenty minutes is amazing. This is the first time ever meet such a hungry crowd.” I said
“Well, we did say we’re hungry though.” Ryu said
“Hope you enjoy it, cause next time it’s not on me.”
“Aww c’mon man, then whose buying next?” Miura said
“The one that ate the most.”
“Let’s be honest guys, how much did you ate. I ate 4.” I said
“Bullshit, I saw you eat more than that!” Miura said
“Hey, you’re seeing things, you sure you’re not drunk from that soda?!”
“Soda can’t make you drunk!”
“I told you the truth! How about you then?!”
“I ate 5.” Miura said
“3.” Ryu said
“5” Suzuki said
“Komiya? Why are you quite?”
“Yeah, c’mon tell us.” Ryu said
“U-ummm.. I-I…”
“You what?” I said
“I-I ate 7…”
There’s silence, and silence, and silence, and sile-
“What?!” Miura said
“You actually ate 7 of those pizza?!” Ryu said
“How?!” I said
“I-I’m sorry!”
“No no no no, there’s no need to apologize, it’s just…” Miura said
“How the fuck?” I asked
“You have a small figure that I thought the best you can eat was 2 of that huge slices.” Ryu said
She looks troubled by our disbelief and questions, but the three of us are all confused as hell. Komiya’s figure is small, if I have to guess, 165 in height, and 37kg, she has a thin waist too, but she ate 7 huge pizza slices.
Suzuki laughs, as if she knew this was going to happen.
“Hey guys…”
We look over to Suzuki.
“Never, and I mean never, judge a book by its cover.”
“We just…”
“Inori is a glutton.”
“AAAAAAA, S-saya. Why did you tell them?!”
Komiya runs to Suzuki and push her down, hoping to close her mouth, but Suzuki is way stronger than her.
“G-glutton?” I asked
“Yeah, she likes to eat. Well, maybe like is an understatement.”
“U-understatement?” Ryu asked
“Yeah, she eats all the time.”
“Bullshit….” Miura said
“I’m telling you the truth man, you just witnessed how she ate 7 huge slice of that pizza right?”
This is a big world, it really is.
“Guys, we just found ourselves one of the 7 wonders of world.” Miura said
“Make it 8, she’s number 1.” Ryu said
“Deal…” I said
Komiya hides her face between Suzuki’s boobs, which grab our undivided attention.
“See, I told you those are real.” Miura said
“I believe you said she got the moderate size.” I said
“Miura is bad if it’s come down to woman, don’t you remember?” Ryu said
“Fuck you…”
“ for a tomboy, she’s really well equipped.” I said
“I know what you mean bro, we all do.” Ryu said
I turn around, thinking I’ve seen enough, Miura and Ryu are soon to follow. I check my watch, 6:05 pm.
“Reno, what time is it now?”
“6:05 pm.”
“I think we’ll go home now. Thanks a bunch for letting us crash…”
“And for the pizza…”
“Sure, no problem.”
We’re thanking the gods for letting us know that Suzuki is indeed a girl, but we don’t want Suzuki to hear it, so we keep it between ourselves.
As soon as Ryu and Miura walk out of the room, I go back inside and Komiya is sitting besides Suzuki.
“Komiya, we’re sorry. It took us by surprised, but we didn’t mean to be rude.”
“I-It’s okay, I-It’s not you guys fault.”
I look at Suzuki, the succubus besides her, but she just smile. Evil woman.
“I need to be careful around you from now on.”
“Why’s that?”
“We both know why…”
“I-I’m going back now.”
Komiya says as she stand up, tidying her skirt.
“S-sure, you want me to walk you home?”
“I-It’s okay really, my place is close. Thanks for everything Reno.” She said as she bows down. What a polite girl.
“Sure, you’re welcome.”
I walk her to the door, that’s the least I can do.
“Now…”
I walk back inside, Suzuki is there playing games again.
“Is it really okay for her to walk back home alone?”
“Huh? Yeah, it’s fine.”
“She said her place is close, but where is it?”
“The fourth floor.”
“Really? you’re kidding.”
“Nu-uh, I’m serious. We move in to the same apartment, but at different time. She asked the manager of this apartment to move to the same floor as me, but it’s already full.”
“Huh, Life can be funny sometimes.”
“Yeah, and weird too.”
“Yeah, weird. Like why are you still here?”
“Why not? Let me sleep here.”
“Dude, your place is literally in front of my place, go back.”
“It’s exactly because it’s that close that I decided to sleep here. I can sleep on this sofa, I don’t mind.”
“That’s not the problem here…”
“Awww, c’mon. it’s been a while since I can play video game as long as I want. Let me stay.”
This girl is more of a hassle than I thought.
“Fine, if you do decides to go back, just make sure to lock it and slide the key inside.”
“You’re the best dude.”
“Whatever. I’m going to the convenience store, you want me to buy something?”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Then let’s go.”
She pauses the game, leaving the power on though.
“Dude turn it off.”
“No way, I have yet to safe it.”
If I’m not a gamer myself, I probably would turn it off myself. But since I am one, I can relate to her problem.
So fuck it, I grab my jacket and walks outside.
“Let me grab my jacket too. Hold up.”
I’m so tempted to leave her here and now, but it’s useless, she would just bang on my door if I do that.
“Let’s go.”
We walk to the elevator, I feel too tired to throw insults at this stupid moving cube, so I just let it be for now. But as we walk inside, this bastard didn’t appreciate me being nice, my head feels so dizzy, and because of the pizza, I feel like throwing up.
“Don’t barf here, the smell is unbearable if you do.”
I just nod, further effort to talk may lead me to vomit, and I don’t want to waste the pizza I just ate earlier, so I hold it in.
We arrive at the lobby, as always, I deeply inhale the air outside. I told her I need a while to regain my composure. So we wait for like, 5 minutes before we go.
Not long after that, we are already half way to the store.
“How’s life so far?”
“Full of surprise, if I have to describe it.”
“Which is good right?”
“I guess.”
“Me and Inori had a lot of fun today, thanks.”
Her smile is so heartwarming, that I can feel blood rushing up to my head.
“Of course, anytime.”
I hide my face, I have the feeling that I’m blushing. Would be dead embarrassing if she sees me like this. I stay silent for the rest of the walk, surprisingly, she does the same.
We arrive at the store, and as always, I greet Mike that’s working there.
“ ‘Sup dude, haven’t seen you in a while.”
“We just met yesterday.”
“We did?”
“Yeah, you need to ease up on the beer dude, you’ve been drinking too much.”
“Shit, maybe I am drinking too much.”
It took him a while to realize that I’m walking with Suzuki, he grins at me.
“You here for a condom?”
“Fuck off…”
“Just asking, but if you ever need it…”
“Dude, shut up…”
“Fine, just being polite…”
I don’t remember offering condom to be a polite thing to do.
I walk to the back, grabbing 3 cans of sweet iced tea and a bag of chips.
Suzuki however, grabs 3 box of strawberry flavored chocolate bar.
“Strawberry?”
“This again? Really?”
“No matter how I look at it…”
“Is it that weird?”
Her tone is different, like I just reject her or something. Makes me feel bad, and I sure wish she would just beat the hell out of me instead of pouting like that.
“I’m sorry, I really am. Forget I said anything.”
“No sweat.” She smiles a bit, that makes me feel just a little bit better.
We walk to the cashier, I offer to pay for her, she says no.
She’s different somehow.
“You need to stop drinking this shit dude…”
“Why? It’s not dangerous…”
“Why do you like this anyway?”
“I don’t know. I just do. Now how much?”
“750.”
I give him 800 yen and tell him to keep the changes.
“Sure you don’t want condom?”
“Kiss my ass…”
He give me the, fine suit yourself, gesture.
“I’ll wait outside…”
“Sure.”
As I wait for her outside, I look up to the skies, no stars. Well, considering we’re in the urban area, it’s no wonder. Unlike where I came from, this place at night is not that cold, well, it’s april, but still, I kinda expected it to be a bit cold.
I open my first can of iced tea that I just brought, the sweet liquid sliding down my throat, is the greatest feeling I have ever feel. No drinks can take the number one throne from this drink.
As I grab and tries to open the second can, Suzuki comes out of the store.
“One down already? You need to slow down with that thing.”
“Not you too…”
She snatch the last can from my bag.
“Hey..!”
“I’m curious, c’mon, you have tasted this a thousand times probably by now.”
Well, not a thousand times, but often enough I guess. And I still feel bad about before too.
“Well, suit yourself. But don’t talk shit to me if it doesn’t suit your taste.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
She open it and gulp it down.
“So?”
“It’s pretty good.”
“See, told you.”
“Still don’t get it why you’re so addicted to it.”
“Addicted is a bad way to put it. But I like it, it’s my favorite. Since time immemorial.”
We start heading back, with a slow and steady pace.
“Join any club yet?”
“No, you?”
“Not yet, but I’m thinking of joining the Taekwondo club.”
I seriously need to stay off her bad side.
“You like martial arts?”
“Yep, learned Karate when I was at elementary and Aikido at Middle school.”
By the gods, why did you let her do such a thing.
“Wow, dedication.”
“Not really, it’s just a hobby actually.”
“And what’s the highest belt you can get from aikido and karate?”
“Black, what else?”
Holy mother of god.
“You know, if I ever insulted you, or making you mad at me, please, for the love of god, forgive me.”
“Hey dude relax, I’m not going to beat you up for no reason.”
“That’s why I’m apologizing, so you won’t have one.”
She laughs, man she’s so cute when she’s like this.
“You mind telling me why you became a tomboy?”
“Should i?”
“If you want to.”
“Well, it’s no big deal really, you might be disappointed even.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“It’s because of all the Martial arts that I do, I became stronger than most of the boys my age, so girls tend to back away from me. Been like that since elementary school.”
“And the story with Komiya?”
“You’re just waiting for it didn’t you?”
“Maybe. Who knows…”
“Well, she’s the only one that didn’t back away from me, I used to tease her because at this one time, I caught her eating 3 bento at once.”
“At school?”
“No shit Sherlock.”
“But even though I teased her, she didn’t hate me. She gave me lunch from that day onward instead.”
“That’s really nice of her.”
“Yeah, I’m glad I teased her.”
“That’s really rude of you.”
“I don’t mean that in a bad way dumbass.”
“How long have you guys been together?”
“Since 5th grade. You do the math.”
5 years huh, that’s a long time. No wonder they are so close.
“No wonder you guys are close.”
“I know right.”
“Even though the difference is like Heaven and hell.”
“Screw you…”
We keep talking and laughing as we make our way back, even though I’m at the elevator, I don’t feel bad at all, maybe talking like this makes me feel at ease and not think about the sickness.
As we arrive in front of my room, she stops behind me.
“You know what, maybe I’ll just sleep at my room tonight.”
“Well, I don’t mind…”
“You don’t? a cute girl just changed her mind about sleeping in the same room as you, and you don’t mind? You gay?”
“What?! Hell no! straight as chopsticks!”
“And as short too?”
“You know what, screw you…”
She laughs again.
“Good night Reno, see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, good night.”
I open the door, and lock the door when I’m inside.
I turn off the game console and look at the sofa, the mess we all made, and the large box of pizza.
“Never judge a book by its cover huh? Well, you learn something new every day.”
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