They ate a bunch of junk and pretty soon Darlene had passed out.

“Umm she’s asleep, so should I?” Raine said.

“You can’t walk home alone,” he said.

“Oh.”

“You can have the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“You don’t have to do that; we can sleep together… I mean… it’s just sleep so…”

“Okay,” he let out in a shaky breath so soft she barely heard him.

“I hate to ask but, this outfit…”

“I got you,” he said as he got up and went to his dresser, he turned off all of the lights and she got up and went over to him.

“Shirt and sweatpants?” he held them to her.

“Just a shirt is fine,” she said.

“Damn.”

“What?”

“Just… picturing it…”

They were standing mostly in the dark, the only light coming through the windows through the street. He handed her a black tee-shirt and walked over to the other side of the bed and faced the window. She didn’t bother going into the bathroom to change. Once she was done, she said, “okay.”

He turned and looked her up and down, she doubted he could see much in this light. He pulled his shirt off, then his pants.

“I didn’t turn around yet,” she said.

“I know, that’s okay,” he said, grabbing his sweatpants and stepping into them. He went to his closet and got a blanket and pillow and went to the couch. He picked up Darlene’s head and placed the pillow under it, then covered her with the blanket. Then he came back and quickly got underneath his covers, so she joined him. They lay there both on their backs silently for a while.

“Are you sleepy?” she asked.

“No, you?”

“No.”

He turned on his side to face her and she looked over at him, he grinned and said, “hi.”

“Hi.”

They talked for hours, she told him her whole life story, and he told her a lot of his. He filled in a lot of gaps of things Darlene had missed, like when he was in prison. He told her about Leon, his therapist Krista and more about Vera. He kept avoiding little topics here and there. Darlene had talked about how close Elliot had been to his dad, but Elliot didn’t bring him up at all. He told her how his mom was mean to them, which she knew. He talked about Angela and how he had been in love with her since they were kids. He cried and she cried with him. And she cried and he cried with her. At one point she realized he was tracing her arm up and down with his fingertips, making circles and lazy motions, she didn’t know if he even realized he was doing it.

“I never talk this much,” he said.

“Me either, well not until I met Darlene… but we don’t talk like this.”

“Really?”

“I mean yeah we have our emotional moments and it gets serious but it’s not like… like this.”

“I’ve never felt like this,” he said.

“What does it feel like?” she asked.

“Like… like I’m happy.”

Her heart broke, he hadn’t ever been happy? She didn’t ask because she didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“This would be a great time to kiss you,” he said.

“We’ll get there.”

“I just don’t want you to get sick of waiting and move on… shit, I’m sorry, you don’t HAVE to wait… I just…”

“I want to, I could kiss anyone, but anyone isn’t you,” she said.

He let out a little laugh and tugged on a lock of her hair gently before moving it behind her shoulder. Then he pulled her toward him, she moved with his hand and he guided her right up against himself. He rolled over on his back and let her cuddle up with her head on his bare chest.

The next thing she knew she was waking up in someplace unfamiliar. She felt a warm body under her and started to panic because the last time she felt this sensation it was Luke. She opened her eyes and saw him and relaxed. One of his arms was holding her close to him and the other was above his head, he was snoring softly. His head was facing the window away from her and she examined his face in profile. His jawline, his eyelid, and eyelashes, she took in every small detail she could. The blanket had moved down to their waists and her hand was draped across his abs. She started tracing them with her finger and he stirred. She stopped and waited for him to wake up, but he didn’t. She heard a sound and looked over at Darlene who was waking up. Raine closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She didn’t want to be caught staring at Elliot as he slept, especially not by Darlene, she’d never hear the end of it.

“Aww, you guys are soooo sweet!” Darlene squealed, waking him and flipper. Flipper started barking and Elliot gently removed Raine’s body off of his then jumped out of bed shushing Darlene with his finger. He picked flipper up from the foot of the bed to quiet her before turning to make sure Raine hadn’t woken up. She was still pretending to sleep so she turned over and hugged the pillow as if the noise had stirred her a little.

“Chill out, she’s probably FAKING!” Darlene teased; she knew Raine too well.

“Well if she is, she has her reasons,” Elliot whispered. Raine smiled to herself, was he real? He was so perfect.

“So… half-naked, sleeping together, do you want to tell me anything? I hope not cause I was right there…”

“Nothing happened, we just talked… a lot.”

Raine could hear the grin in his voice.

“Aww Elliot, you like her a lot huh?”

“Yea… but…”

“But what?”

“Nothing… just you know I’m… terrified.”

“Well we are all here for you, and I trust her and I’m pickier than you about who you date, I didn’t even think you should be with Angela.”

“You never told me that.”

“Well, it was always too soon to talk about it.”

“Well… why?” he asked.

“It’s too early to talk about it, and I don’t mean in life, I mean because I just woke up… want me to take flipper out and pick up some coffee so two you can be alone for a while?”

“If you want,” he handed the dog to her and she got her ready for a walk as Elliot went back to the bed and sat down.

“I’ll try to walk slow, later Raine,” Darlene said. Raine lifted an arm and flipped her off, and Darlene laughed as she walked out the door.

“So, you were awake?” Elliot asked.

“About half,” Raine said, rolling over to look at him.

He laid down on his back and stretched, then looked at her and said, “come here.”

She obeyed quickly and cuddled up to him again. He kissed her forehead lightly, “good morning,” his voice was still gravelly from sleep.

“You too,” she put her arm across him.

“How much did you hear?”

“Not much, just … all of it,” she teased.

“Sorry.”

“About what?”

“That I’m scared.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m scared too, it’s natural I mean we just met.”

“And already I feel like… you know…”

“There’s not really a word for it huh? Like it’s too soon for the four-letter L word, but it’s more than just liking each other… it’s like a deep unexplainable connection.”

“Yea I felt it the first time I saw you,” he said.

“Two days ago…”

“No…”

It took her a moment to realize what he meant then it dawned on her, “Oh… so you remember too?”

“When you were barefoot?”

Instead of responding she buried her face in his chest and laughed, mortified.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m so embarrassed,” she said against his skin. He made a strange moaning noise, so she pulled back and looked at him, “what was that?”

“Your breath on my skin… made me… tickled me.”

“Ohh,” she smiled, she knew what he meant but didn’t push it. They both needed to behave since they couldn’t even kiss. Talking about sexual things would just drive them both crazy with desire.

“Don’t be embarrassed though, about anything… ever with me, I want you to be comfortable,” he said.

She laid her head on his chest again, “well this,” she said and nuzzled him with her face, “is very comfortable.”

“So, we both remember that?” he asked.

“Yea and you’re right, I felt it then too, I even… never mind.”

He looked down at her curiously but decided not to push it, it was like he could sense exactly how she felt, so instead, he asked, “Do you have to work today?”

“No, and since it’s like noon I assume you’re off too.”

“Yea… so we have all day to hang out?... I mean if you want to.”

“I definitely want to, but I should go home for a shower and change of clothes.”

“I have clothes and a shower here.”

She laughed, “Elliot, you can come with me and hang out at the shop while I shower and change at my place.”

“Oh okay…”

“Unless you have a hidden camera in your shower and were trying to see me naked, in which case let me know so I can make it a good show at least.”

He laughed, “Nah, the only people who shower here are me and Darlene and I see myself naked all the time.”

“You have to rub it in? Make me jealous?”

“You want to see me naked?”

She rose up and smiled at him, “I would love to, but it would only start something we can’t finish.”

“True…”

“I also want to change at home because I have this new dress I wanted to wear today, I never had a place to wear it and now I do,” she said trying to change the subject to something more PG.

“To my apartment?” he laughed.

“Well, you’ll see me.”

“I don’t care what you wear.”

“I know but just let me have this excuse, it’s a cute dress,” she laughed.

“Okay… I’ll be your excuse.”

“Ohh,” she said getting her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh… I’m weird, I write poetry and song lyrics… sometimes people say things that sound like a song lyric and I have to save it… what you just said would make a good lyric… I can use it right?”

“Sure,” he grinned, “I’ll be your excuse? That one?”

“Yea sounds cool to me, I don’t know.”

“No, I get it, it does sound kinda cool, that’s pretty impressive of you.”

“You said it, not me.”

“You caught it though, you saw something special where other people would have missed it.”

She smiled at him, she honestly felt like she was already in love with him, especially when he said things like that. Of course, she would definitely keep that to herself, at least for a while.

She needed to change the subject so she said, “What would you have done if I said I was into Darlene the other night?”

“What?”

“Well you said you felt something a long time ago so, were you hoping I wasn’t into girls?”

“Well, I was at least hoping you were into guys too, and you know, not my sister.”

She laughed and he hugged her to him and said, “I’m glad you’re mine.”

Did that mean what she thought it meant? “I am?” she asked.

“If you wanna be…”

She smiled at him and nodded, “I do.” It was pretty clear, but she had thought that before and been wrong. Where they now officially a couple? They just met, of course, she didn’t care about that, but would he have asked her to be his girlfriend this soon? She’d have to watch for hints.

“I should shower,” he said. She just smiled and watched him get up and go into the bathroom. She couldn’t help but picture him undressing and getting into the shower, then “Nope,” she said aloud. She shook her head and tried to distract her mind. She heard the water start, warm water, Elliot’s hair getting wet, drops falling over his face, his lips, water running down the tan skin on his chest. She bit her lip and got out of bed, what could she do to stop thinking about this? She began looking around Elliot’s room, looked at his family pictures. Darlene had told her that Elliot sees Mr. Robot as looking like their father. She studied him in the pictures, though it wasn’t at all the same person she tried to get a feel for what Mr. Robot would be like. That was quite a long name maybe she would ask him if she could call him Rob or something. Elliot gave him the name anyway, maybe he’d like a nickname, something more common. She wandered around taking everything in, getting to know him better through the things he kept. She knew he wasn’t materialistic so, if he owned it, it mattered. She didn’t dare touch anything in his computer area, partly out of respect for his privacy and partly because she was scared of what she might find or break.

She knew he wasn’t dangerous to her, but she didn’t know if he sometimes still took people down. She wouldn’t be too opposed to it; the justice system is a joke and her own abuser had slid through the police’s fingers like it was the easiest thing in the world. She had gone to them with bruises and video, but Luke had known one cop, and that was it. She would possibly never feel safe because he ‘knew a guy’. That’s why so many people write and love stories about a vigilante because deep down everyone knows we need one, or maybe more than one. She heard the bathroom door open and turned around from looking at one of his bookshelves.

He was in a very small towel and she felt her legs get weak at the sight of him. His hair was wet and his skin was glistening in the sunlight.

“What’s up?” he said casually. She gave him a mock angry look and he innocently shrugged and said, “What?”

“You are in so much trouble Mr. Alderson,” she said.

“Oh, yea?... Why’s that?” he got close to her.

“Look at you.”

He just grinned and came closer until she could feel the heat of his body, then he slowly moved past her to his dresser that was only a couple inches behind her. He grabbed some boxer briefs out of the top drawer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about… anyway you’re…” he started.

“What?” she whispered. He was still standing right next to her, looking down at her with an intense look in his eyes. He looked her up and down.

“I’m just trying to make us even,” he whispered back. She crossed her arms, looked down, away from him, and tried to remain unfazed. He continued, “I mean, you’re wearing my tee-shirt, and what else? Panties?”

Something about his voice and the way he said things, the strain in his speaking that she felt empathetically. It pulled her to him, not physically but she felt like he was pulling on her whole being when he spoke, especially when he was being deliberate like this. Did he know he had this power? She looked back up into his eyes and knew that he did on at least some level realize he was capable of having this effect. And he was definitely doing it on purpose right now. He wasn’t smiling but there was a light of amusement in his eyes. He had his hand on the dresser and he moved it to where he was almost touching her bare thigh, right under the shirt. He ran a fingertip over her skin lightly, she moved closer to him almost involuntarily, bit her bottom lip, and let out a whimper. When she did this he sharply sucked in a shaky breath and she almost lost it.

“Damn baby, you’re going to be the death of me,” he growled. Just then the front door flew open and flipper came running in dragging her leash behind her. Elliot immediately turned facing the wall. Raine knew why and laughed. He looked over at her and grinned, blushing.

“Okay… you guys need to leave a sock on the door or something,” Darlene said, though she seemed mostly unbothered.

“We weren’t doing anything,” Raine said walking away from Elliot, badly as she hated to.

“Yea you keep saying that but he’s naked, you’re… wow you look super cute in that shirt,” Darlene said, handing her a latte. Elliot got some jeans and went into the bathroom again without saying anything.

“He wasn’t naked, he had a towel,” Raine whispered.

“Whatever you say queen blue ball…”

“Hey!” Elliot shouted from the bathroom.

Darlene just laughed and Raine unlatched flipper's collar and pet her a little before she ran off. Raine went over and knocked on the bathroom door, “Hey can I wear your sweatpants to my place? I don’t want to get redressed just to go home and change.” He didn’t say anything, but he opened the door a crack and stuck his sweatpants out to her.

“Wow you guys act like a couple already,” Darlene said, sitting down at the table. Raine just rolled her eyes and slipped into the pants. They were too big but not by too much because Elliot was slender.

“What? You do,” Darlene said.

“Well…” Raine started and gave Darlene a look, “I… I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

Elliot walked out before Raine could tell Darlene that they might be a couple, but she really wasn’t sure, which sounded stupid, so she didn’t want him to know she was confused. Raine was by the bathroom door when he walked out and he stopped and gave her a quick hug around her waist from behind and kissed the back of her head like a boyfriend would. Hint one. Darlene raised an eyebrow at her, and she shook off her confused look and lightly touched Elliot’s arm before he let her go. She sat down at one of the two chairs at Elliot’s table across from Darlene. She tried to concentrate on what the siblings were saying to each other but so much had happened so fast and she was processing it all nursing her coffee.

“Earth to Lorraine, hello Raine,” Darlene was saying.

“What? Oh, sorry I spaced out,” she needed some time to reflect but now was not that time.

“Yea I noticed, so can I keep your key?” Darlene asked.

“My apartment key?”

“Yea I JUST told you, I met a guy, flipper is a great dude magnet, I have a date and I need a place to take him if things go well and he’s a dog lover so they probably will… and you can just crash here with Elliot tonight…me and Elliot just discussed it were you not listening?” Darlene asked.

Raine sighed, “Honestly? No, I literally just spaced sorry.”

“It’s cool, I just want to make sure you’re cool with the plan?” Darlene said.

“Oh! yea that’s fine… I mean,” she looked at Elliot, “if it’s cool that I stay here?”

“Of course, you’re my…” he paused, “you’re welcome anytime.” So maybe he wasn’t so sure either, well not sure enough to say it out loud. Or was he just not ready to tell Darlene? Raine needed to talk to her alone and see what she thought. She knew maybe it should have been Elliot, but she felt silly asking if she was his girlfriend like they were in middle school. She needed to bore Elliot into ignoring them.

“So, you met a guy? What’s he like?” Raine asked her. As she had suspected Elliot got on his computer and started playing around. Darlene had told her Elliot was never the type of big brother that was protective about her boyfriends. Probably because he had met Darlene, if Elliot needed to protect someone it was men, from Darlene. That’s why Raine liked her so much.

“Well he’s hot but he’s one of those business types, I figure he has a wife upstate or something, I just need to get laid.”

“Have you heard from…” Raine started.

“Don’t ask…” Darlene cut her off. Darlene hadn’t heard from Dom in a week and she got pretty agitated when that happened. But they were so off and on Raine couldn’t keep up. Dom was always trying to make Darlene work for ‘the man’ and live that kind of life. Raine felt like it was a shame that someone who cared so much about her best friend wanted to put her in a cage. Darlene was like a hurricane and a rainbow all at once. She was a strong force of nature but instead of destroying everything, she forced love and goodness on people. Well, until you crossed her or someone she loved. That’s who Raine knew her to be, most people thought she was just a low-life anarchist. Raine hated that Dom seemed to fall more into the latter way of thinking. Almost all the people Darlene hooked up with were like that, she hadn’t dated her type of person since Cisco, according to Darlene. Raine still hadn’t figured out why. They talked a little more about boys and things they both knew Elliot would tune out. Darlene looked back at him then turned back leaning in, “So are you guys a couple?”

Raine nodded but said, “I don’t know, I think so.”

Darlene tilted her head, “how do you not know?”

Raine told her the exchange word for word while checking to make sure Elliot was still distracted. When she finished Darlene said, “sounds like it to me.”

“I mean yea, but it’s a little vague and you heard him he almost called me his you-know-what and stopped, so clearly he isn’t sure either.”

“Okay, I’ll fix it… Elliot!” Darlene said.

“Yea?” he said spinning his chair to face them.

“Did you ask Raine to be your girlfriend this morning?”

“Darlene!” Raine said, she looked at Elliot and shook her head apologetically.

He looked confused and a little hurt and said, “I… thought I did.”

“And you said yes?” Darlene asked Raine. Elliot looked like he was about to hyperventilate so Raine quickly said, “Yes, of course, yes,” she looked at Elliot, “I’m just stupid I’m sorry I didn’t know for sure if that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not stupid,” Darlene and Elliot said at the same time. Elliot got up and walked over to them, he still hadn’t put on a shirt. Raine turned in her chair to face him and he knelt in front of her and took her hand and winked at her.

Darlene, who had probably never looked so freaked out in her life jumped up out of her chair and said, “Dude, what the hell?!”

Elliot grinned and looked at Raine, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Raine laughed because it was so cheesy but also sweet, “Yes.”

Darlene sighed, “you asshole, I thought…”

“I know, that’s half the reason I did it,” he said laughing.

“To freak me out? Why would you do that… you… asshole,” Darlene said, punching his shoulder, she must have been actually flustered because usually, she was the queen of creative insults.

“Payback,” Elliot said, standing, then he looked at Raine, “we good?”

She smiled up at him, “Yes that was very… direct, thank you.”

“Well I told Brandon I’d meet him at ‘Papi’s coffee’ at three so can we go?” Darlene asked.

“Brandon?” Elliot asked.

“I the guy I’m going out with,” she threw her arms up in frustration.

“I know but you didn’t say his name was Brandon.”

“You know him?”

“No just… I can’t see you dating someone named Brandon,” Elliot said.

Raine laughed.

“Don’t start teaming up on me,” Darlene pointed at them.

“Oh, you can dish it out…” Raine said hopping up and putting an arm around her.

Darlene smiled and said, “Okay, but I can’t help it I love you guys and this,” she pointed at them both, “is the cutest thing ever, you’re both so helpless and shy.”

“Helpless?” Elliot scowled at her.

“With girls and things like that, you know… you’re a nerd,” she said. Elliot grinned, he didn’t mind because he knew she was right and that it was actually a compliment coming from Darlene the way she meant it.

Raine had to wear her thigh-high boots under Elliot’s sweatpants, “this is ridiculous,” she laughed.

“That’s the price of looking hot last night,” Darlene said. Elliot took his laptop and Raine put her dirty clothes in his backpack so she wouldn’t have to carry them.

The girls talked the whole way there, and Elliot just walked quietly drinking his coffee. At one point Raine was shivering so he took his hoodie off and gave it to her. Darlene just said “wow” and smiled at her in a weird way. They would have to discuss it later. They got to the shop and Elliot took a corner booth hidden away and got on his laptop. Raine let him hand her, her clothes because she didn’t want to go digging through his bag. She got her things and checked the time, two o’clock, perfect. She needed some alone time with Darlene.

“You gonna be okay here?” she asked him.

“Yea,” he smiled, “since Darlene upgraded your wifi, I’m going to get some movies you’ll probably hate and make you watch them tonight.”

She smiled and gasped, “such a bad boy,” she mocked.

She wondered what he was actually doing, knowing his history it could be quite literally anything. It made her a little nervous every time he sat down at a keyboard. She wondered if he had hacked her yet. Part of her wanted to talk to Mr. Robot and see what he thought about all this and find out if Elliot was really doing as good as he seemed. But that would have to wait until he wanted to talk to her. Darlene had pushed a switch the other night in an emergency but she was his sister, and Elliot had been capable in that moment but even then it had made Raine feel a little uncomfortable. It was not okay for someone to just ask that, besides that’s not even how it usually worked. Darlene had just gotten lucky that Mr. Robot had been close to fronting at the time. Raine wondered if Elliot and Darlene knew any of these terms. She had learned some in school but most through her own research after Darlene had told her Elliot had the disorder. She spun around and gave Darlene a look to follow her upstairs.

When Raine and Darlene got upstairs she said, “So what was that ‘wow’ about?” Raine asked.

“He gave you his hoodie… like THE hoodie.”

“So?”

“That thing is like his third arm, and he risked someone recognizing him.”

“So it’s a big deal?”

“Yea, I mean I knew he was crushing hard but damn… what did you guys do last night? You got a magic vag or something?”

“We didn’t do anything,” Raine insisted, but Darlene looked at her like she didn’t believe a word of it. So Raine continued, “I promise, for one you were on the couch and that would be weird, and secondly… Elliot can’t kiss me.”

“Can’t? why?”

“He doesn’t know, said he doesn’t want me to get hurt.”

“Hurt how?” Darlene asked.

Raine shrugged.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Darlene asked.

“Well he said he’s gonna talk to Krista about it, and I don’t know if he would like that I told you, but if he brings it up, you can.”

“I still need to talk to him about Angela,” Darlene said.

“Why didn’t you want them together? You don’t have to tell me but if you don’t care, I’m just curious.”

“I loved Angela, she was like my sister and one of my best friends, but for Elliot, I don’t know I know she loved him… as a friend, but it always seemed to me like she liked that he was in love with her, but she was never in love with him.”

“Maybe she wanted to be but it just wasn’t… you know she couldn’t help it.”

“Yea she felt bad, I think but she also didn’t want him focusing on other girls like she wanted him to keep loving her from a distance.”

“I’m so sorry for what happened to her… I mean they were both young and I’m sure she loved him enough to eventually let him be happy with someone else.”

“Yea she never like broke him up with anyone but when he started dating Shayla, suddenly Angela wanted his attention, not that she was a bad person but you know how it is when a guy is always all about you, even if you don’t like them, and then suddenly they aren’t all about you anymore,” Darlene said.

“Yea, it sucks… you know it must’ve been hard for her, knowing all that and not being able to make herself feel the same about him,” Raine said.

“Dude I love you.”

“Why?”

“I mean he’s your boyfriend and you aren’t even bitter and you’re like taking her side.”

“There is no side, everyone involved is just… human.”

Darlene smiled, “I miss her.” Raine gave her a sympathetic look and hugged her.

“Ugh don’t make me cry, I have a date,” Darlene said pulling back and trying to compose herself.

“Are you going to tell Elliot what you told me?”

“Yea, why?”

“I don’t know it’s a little hurtful.”

“He knows it already though, deep down.”

“Just try and put it in a way that doesn’t sound so… like he’s the one who would be rejected in the situation if she were still here.”

“She did reject him while she was here, over and over.”

“Oh…”

“Yea.”

“Hey,” Raine said, “be careful on your date, and call anytime and we will come to get you or whatever it is you need, anything, I’m serious.”

“Okay mom,” Darlene teased, rolling her eyes.

“I can’t let anything happen to my best barista.”

“Love ya,” Darlene said as she left. Raine needed to get ready so she quickly showered and changed into her dress. It was white with a pink floral pattern, it was off the shoulder and tight at the top with a flowing skirt area. It was super feminine so she threw on her most hardcore-looking biker boots and the same black choker from the night before. She wore bare pinkish makeup and pink lip gloss and decided to curl her hair in big waves. She packed an overnight bag with essentials and threw Elliot’s clothes she had worn in it, then she got her sexiest nightclothes. They were a pink and black trim silk camisole and short set, and they were so tiny they verged on lingerie. “Why am I bringing this? To torture him and myself?” she said to herself as she packed it. She went back down and smiled when she saw Elliot, he looked so cute and into what he was doing. But what was he doing? She walked over to him and stood at the table waiting on him to notice. He looked up and grinned, “hi.”

“Hey there,” she said.

He looked her up and down, then stuck his finger in the air and swirled it, motioning for her to spin around. She felt silly so she rolled her eyes and turned around all the way showing him the back.

“Well,” she said when she was facing him again.

“It’s very cute.”

“I told you it was.”

He didn’t say anything but he moved his backpack and laptop over and slid to make room for her so she sat beside him. Her lips were almost tingling with an urge to kiss him. His top lip was slightly larger than his bottom in a super sexy way and she wanted so badly to lick it.

“What?” he said, snapping her from her thoughts.

“Just looking,” she said, a little embarrassed that she’d been just staring at his lips.

He licked his lips and tilted his head.

“So, what are you doing on here,” she said turning to look at his laptop. It was a bunch of loading lines and different things she didn’t bother trying to understand.

He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “pirating movies.”

“Ohh, you are naughty,” she whispered back teasingly.

He let out a little laugh and put his arm around her.

“So, it looks like they are loading fast, or was I upstairs longer than I thought?”

“No, you weren’t too long… I was starting to miss you though,” he said casually.

“Already?” she laughed.

He looked at her funny, “Did I just say that out loud?”

She nodded and smiled biting her bottom lip.

“I… I’m sorry,” he blushed.

“Stop, don’t be sorry for saying what’s on your mind… even if it’s an accident.”

He squeezed her shoulder and just sat there quietly for a while, so she leaned into him and relaxed. Then she sat up, “hey, if they catch you, could I get in trouble cause it’s my internet?”

He just laughed and then realized she was serious, “They won’t catch me, but because it’s yours I went through a…” he paused, “don’t worry, they would find a fake IP address, an IP address is…”

“I know what an IP address is,” she interrupted laughing.

“Well, Darlene said not to get to ‘techie’ with you because you aren’t that… into this stuff.”

“Well I’m not like… your level, I doubt anyone is on your level, but no I’m not a hacker, but I’m not totally clueless, I found lots of ways around my ex spying on all my social media accounts and stuff, HE was clueless.”

Elliot smiled, then frowned taking his arm from behind her and returning it to type some things on his laptop.

“What?” she asked, then said, “I didn’t mean to bring him up it’s just… that was a big chunk of my life.”

“No, it’s… I understand but I just really don’t like him.”

“We have so much in common,” she said, and he laughed. She would have to watch talking about Luke, she didn’t want to drive Elliot into snooping, she knew if he was motivated enough, he could find out everything.

“You want coffee?” a voice behind her said, she turned and saw one of her girls, as she called them, this one’s name was Brittney. Brittney must not have recognized the back of her head because she said, “Oh, Raine, you want a pumpkin spice, decaf, or caf?”

“Caffeinated, it’s still early.”

“And for you?” Brittney asked Elliot seductively, she was looking at him with a twinkle in her eyes like she wanted to flirt with him.

He looked at Raine, “What should I get baby?” Oh, he was good. She decided to play with him a little, so she turned back to Brittney and said sternly, “My boyfriend wants to try a pumpkin spice for the first time.” It was a two-fold joke because she was acting pretend possessive and making him try a PSL. She would have to explain it to Brittney through text. She got her phone and sent the explanation and apology and told her to bring Elliot a black coffee along with a PSL in case he didn’t like it.

“Who are you texting?” he asked.

“Brittney.”

“Oh… who’s Brittney.”

She laughed, “that barista.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean… what’s going on?”

“Don’t be sorry you are perfect, it was sweet of you to make sure she knew you’re mine, but I was just playing around, I told her to bring you a black coffee.”

“Well I want to try your favorite drink,” he said.

“She’s bringing that too… I also told her if she flirted with you again, I’d fire her.”

“What?”

She laughed, “kidding.”

He groaned, “you’re killing me.” But he was smiling and draped his arm around her again.

Britney was on her way back and Elliot leaned in and whispered, “I should flirt with her to get you back.”

“If you were going to do that, you wouldn’t have told me beforehand,” she said, “and anyway you would never do that.”

“How do you know?”

Brittney sat down their drinks and smiled at Elliot, he looked down and pretended she wasn’t there.

“Thank you, Brit,” Raine said and Brittney winked at her before walking away.

Raine looked back at Elliot, “told you.”

“I could have,” he said.

“But you wouldn’t.”

He sighed, defeated, “no… I wouldn’t.”

She smiled, “I know.”

Brittney texted her: he’s soooo hot oh my gosh good for you babe

R: He is, thank you

B: he better be good to you, you deserve it

R: thanks brit and sorry again

B: Always happy to mess with a man’s head sorry I flirted at first, I didn’t know

R: you’re good girl, I get it, he is a hottie

Raine was smiling at her phone and Elliot was trying to see what she was saying. When she caught him he said, “sorry.” But she waved him off and showed him the conversation.

“Hottie?” he raised his eyebrows.

“You have to speak their language, or they don’t respect you,” she said. She looked at him, he was dressed in dark straight jeans and a tight dark grey tee shirt.

“What?” he asked.

“You are hot.”

He smiled sheepishly and looked deeply at his computer, clearly embarrassed.

“Where was this shyness when you were trying to seduce me in a towel?” she asked.

“I’m not used to someone just telling me things… compliments.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No, just don’t know how to respond.”

“Well, how would you want me to respond when you compliment me?”

“You don’t have to respond; I just want you to know what I think.”

“Well there ya go,” she said, and he smiled at her.

He looked like something dawned on him and said, “Are you teaching me how to date?”

She laughed, “not on purpose… I was just answering your question, anyway I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

“Well, maybe we can learn together.”

She wanted to kiss him more than anything but couldn’t, she sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

She tried to smile and said, “nothing.”

He looked at her knowingly, “don’t lie.”

“I was just thinking about… how bad I want to…” she couldn’t finish because she knew it would hurt him.

“Kiss me?” he finished for her. The look in his eyes was the reason she didn’t want to tell him, but it was worse than she had imagined. She hated this. She nodded.

“But,” she said, “it’s not a bad thing, I just… that’s how I would express what I feel right now, which is like this really good feeling of affection towards you.”

“I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.”

Her heart sank, “Elliot, please,” she nearly sobbed, then swallowed to compose herself, “please don’t feel bad, I… it’s okay really.”

He didn’t look at her for a long time, he was looking down like he was deep in thought, finally, he said, “we need a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Until we sort this out, we need our own thing, to show that we feel that, what you were talking about, without kissing,” he said.

“So, you’re not just a genius at computers?” she said.

After just sitting there for a while in a comfortable silence she said, “you want to see my place?”

“Yea, is Darlene up there?”

“No, I think she’s in the back harassing her co-workers.”

“Oh, I want to see this Brandon before they leave,” he said, maybe he was a bit more protective than Darlene had realized. It was cute. They went up to her apartment and she showed him everything. He was especially interested in her loft. She pulled back the entire curtain to show him the whole area. It was really just a four-foot-high, five-foot-deep platform that went all the way across the back wall behind her mattress. It had actually been Papi’s handmade desk when this was an office. Raine had Luke make it stable enough to walk on when they were together, so he had at least been good for something. Underneath was storage space for her that she had a separate curtain for. Instead of using the small three-step ladder beside her mattress, Elliot just put a foot up on the loft and jumped up into it easy, quite athletic of him for a techie, she thought. She stepped up in to join him as he looked at the paintings she had on the wall.

“Why don’t you hang these downstairs?” he asked.

“Oh no I don’t think they are good enough for that,” she said.

“Yea they are.”

She sat down cross-legged on one of the cushions she had up there for seating and watched him look at each piece on the wall closely like he was memorizing every stroke. He touched some of them gently, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye to see if she would protest. She didn’t. Eventually, he stopped and mimicked her sitting position on the other cushion. Then he started going through her sketchpads of paintings and drawings one by one without asking if it was okay. He did look at her before opening each one, waiting on her to approve or disapprove. She did neither and just watched him, amused. He looked almost like a child visiting a museum for the first time. His whole being was taking her work in, and it felt more intimate than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. Like his eyes were drinking in her soul through her art. She was so caught up in him and each reaction he had to each page that she completely forgot about the drawings she had done of him over a year ago. Only remembering because he got a confused look on his face while going through one of her books and said, “that’s me?”

Dread washed over her, especially because Elliot had told her about his inner world loop and when the two main parts of his current self, had interacted, one of his alters had drawings of the other. She was first scared this would trigger a PTSD reaction for him.

“Yes, I drew that when you came in over a year ago,” when she said it, he relaxed a little but thankfully he didn’t seem to be freaking out that much in the first place, “are you okay?” she asked.

“Yea… why did you draw this?”

“I don’t know… you know I felt like I… needed to, you had an… interesting face and I… I’m sorry,” she said.

He was still looking at it curiously, “sorry about what?”

“You’re not mad?”

He let out a laugh, “why would I be mad?”

“I mean it’s weird, right? Like you think I’m a weird stalker person?” she said.

“No,” was all he said. She was nervous and confused but she told him, “there’s another one on the next page but that’s all I swear.”

He turned the page and looked at that one for a while, she couldn’t read his expression, he wasn’t smiling or frowning, just looking. Without looking up he asked, “you do this a lot? Draw customers?”

“No… just you,” there was no reason to play it cool at this point.

“Wow,” he said.

“Elliot,” her voice edged on desperation and she didn’t like that, but she couldn’t help it, he looked up at her and she continued, “tell me how you feel about this.”

He looked like he was concentrating for a moment and said, “It’s hard to put into words but I feel seen.”

“Seen? Is that bad?”

“No, it’s like, at this time in my life and especially out in public I was doing everything I could to be invisible, and it usually worked but you saw me anyway, like looking at this I can tell, you really saw me, the guy in these drawings looks like he feels…exactly how I felt then,” he finished, tears forming in his eyes.

She let out a breath of relief and realized she was already crying softly, she wiped a tear away and said, “I guess that’s where that ‘recognizing something special’ thing comes in.”

When her compliment sunk in, one corner of his mouth lifted in an adorable half-grin, he looked down and said, “Can I have, at least one of these?”

“You can have them both, now that I get to have the real thing… I still do, don’t I?” she asked.

“Why wouldn’t you?” he asked casually, shaking his head like she was being silly.

“I don’t know I guess my embarrassment hasn’t went away yet, I just feel like,” she pointed to her drawing pad, “that’s something that would freak most guys out.”

“Most guys? maybe, I wouldn’t know… but not me.”

She smiled, “well we should probably catch Darlene before she leaves, maybe we can get her back some more for messing with us.”

“Okay,” he said carefully tearing one of the pages from her book.

“You don’t want both?”

“I want you to keep one so I’m always here with you.”

She jumped down onto her mattress and he followed. They gathered their things and she let him walk ahead of her so she could lock the door. They went downstairs and saw Darlene flirting with guy at the counter, Raine hoped it was Brandon and not yet another guy. They went over to her and Elliot touched her arm, “we’re gonna take off,” he said, glancing at her but looking the guy over suspiciously. Darlene said, “Okay” and waved at them.

Raine decided to help him out and walked over to the guy, “Hi, I’m Darlene’s best friend Raine Valarian,” and stuck out her hand.

“Brandon Bennett,” he said shaking her hand, “I’m in finance, I used to work at Ecorp…” he continued talking but Raine tuned him out as he went on and on bragging about his accomplishments. It was painful and boring to stand there and nod but she knew everything he said was making it easier and easier for Elliot to find out everything there was to know about this guy. When he stopped talking about himself, he looked at Elliot and said, “haven’t I seen you before?”

Elliot said, “No, probably not…” and walked away. Raine told Brandon it was nice to meet him and smiled at a scowling Darlene before following Elliot out the door.

“Hey,” she said catching up to him. He was wearing his hoodie again, hood up.

“That was close, I didn’t want to deal with it from that guy,” he said.

“You don’t like him already?”

“Nope.”

“Well, it’s just a fling probably.”

“I hope, I don’t know why she does this.”

“Does it bother you?”

“A little, it’s not my place to tell her what to do, but I wish she could be happy.”

“At least we know she can take care of herself.”

“Mostly… I worry about her more than I let on,” he said. He had his hands in his hoodie pockets, so she looped her arm through his and held on to the fabric on his arm as they walked. They walked the rest of the way to Elliot’s place. When they got there, Elliot said he wanted to ‘check Brandon out’ and she knew what that meant, so she got flipper some food and water and laid on the bed as Elliot got lost on his computer for a while. She lay there processing everything that had happened. It didn’t seem real, that this person was her boyfriend, that he was this good and sexy and sweet. She thanked God for sending him to her and cuddled with this adorable puppy.