Narrator POV

Drifting in the Abyss was a creature, better call it soul, but considering that it had shape, it better be called creature. This creature once was a 'celebrity' in one of the undeveloped worlds, the world was called Earth-0123/38 by the way, the creature that created the world was quite bad with names. That world was rather simple, no magic, slow technology development, until some old hag from outer worlds decided to give those monkeys some sort of boon, after she-

???: “Ahem! I know they don't pay you much but-”

I am not paid at all!

…

Where was I? Oh right. That old hag decided to-

???: “I'm only one and a half eternity old!”

That hag decided to screw the balance and introduced technology to monkeys. Happy now?

???: “Well OK... Ohhh! Shiny!”

And again she screwed with the introductions. If I would have a body I would just sigh, but... well I have one, but it's more of a spirit type than anything.

Long story short, my sister messed with the monkeys, gave them pointed stick, gave some sort of powder, that caused mass hallucinations, established religion, advanced technology and broke my toys. Well I could talk about it for a long time, but this is the story about one peculiar soul... and it's gone... oh well, let's use some other, I think that one was named Elvin or something...

*

Somewhere in the Abyss the soul floated, it was in shape of some rodent, which one is not important. That soul was quite old, by the human standards, but for humans everything is old after forty decades, living for a century is considered quite an accomplishment, from all the particular human, it's children, grandchildren etc. When they were not that 'advanced' humans ditched their elders by using them as bait, excuse or some other thing, basically I don't like humans, though I like the entertainment they provide, one of the reasons I nagged Void about creating more universes with them. The time when they massacred everyone in Pony Realm was one of the best... right it's not about me... this time...

So the soul was drifting in the Abyss and... I think it watches me. Oh, wait no it watches the cookie I hold. What if I give it cookie? The soul tried to take the cookie, but it dissipated after the Narrotor gave it to soul. Forgot that souls can't take the godly items, at least until they get enough power, again say thanks to my sister, the other sister that implemented the system in most worlds. Not like it's bad, but I lost the adorable monstrosities to some insects, which then lost to killer bunnies from space and... oh right, soul. Where was it.

The Soul was currently floating... it's rather annoying so let's use the timeskip thingy...

*

Good news, that soul is rather funny, bad news, it retained the memory of it's previous life. He was quite good at all that celebrity thingies, just as all those celebrities in all those Earth variations, and some other realms. Dances, songs, movies, ads and other stuff.

Bad news. His soul became that of a rodent, more like merged with one, because he used some stupid surgery and managed to cut his soul with some laser thingy. About the rodents, it was quite simple, all those annoying scientists with the 'betterment of mankind' in mind. Actually think of it as radioactive rat had bitten a soul and the soul gained some sort of mutation. Not that it's like this, but I guess you know what I'm talking about, if not... oh right, cookies. This soul likes them, maybe reincarnate it? Oh well, I have an appointment with that annoying bastard. Can't believe I lost the bet.

*

Quite simple favor, just as most favors from Kane. Summoning ritual, mess it up a bit. Originally it was supposed to summon one person, but I messed it up... well I messed it up twice. It was supposed to summon someone naive, young and vulnerable, but now it was pure random, hell most of them are from different worlds, timelines etc. Also one of the summoned was insect, well one species, but still.

Now back to the soul. He was still there, but now he was dancing. I guess few decades of doing nothing is too much for the soul of mortal. Well for anyone it's too much, besides the old Sloth, but even he sleeps.

Come here cookie lover, I got divine cookies (mortal soul edition).

*

???: “Hello Nar.” oh man... Hi Kane.

Kane: “Do you still have that soul in your domain?” Well yes, cookie lover is here.

Kane: “Seriously? Cookie Lover? Anyway I need that soul for my champion. Every champion needs one minion. One that was assigned by divinity.” Well maybe you're right, but why cookie? He's my pet!

Kane: “Oh simple really, you owe me.” Come on! Can't you-

Kane: “Nope.” Smug face.

*

Let's see what Kane made with Cookie... What's with that skeleton... Cookie?

Pyro: “Nope, it's Mr Peanuts! Greet the annoying voice in my head Mr Peanuts.” Oh well. At least he's in good hands. “Nope!”

*

Mr Peanuts POV.

Would you like to hear how I came to be? Oh it was quite funny story actually, you see my name was Michael, maybe some other, but I don't remember any other name from my previous life, except Jiggles, but it was the name of my favorite food. Well it was really cool life, too bad that I died. But almost immediately after I met few friends, which are living inside my head, and one strange guy who commented everything and named me Cookies. I like my new name Mr Peanuts, mostly because I liked peanuts and was in the movie about some nutcrushers. Now I am sometimes called nutcrusher by creator of my new body. Oh and his name is Pyro, but sometimes he calls himself Kuro. Dunno why though, but it's fun to impersonate someone, I guess. I can't impersonate anyone, but I can create quite funny dance troupe, they are skeletons by the way. Just like me.

Status Premium V6.66

Name: Mr Peanuts

Race: Rodent

Variant: Undying, Chaos Rat.

Sub-Race: True Lich

Variant: Archont.

Class: Polymath

Variant: Dancer, Strider.

Extra: Pet of Chaos, Mascot.

Level NaN

Experience NaN

Health: 22500/22500

Regeneration: 12000 H/hour

Mana: 32500/32500

Regeneration: 850 M/minute

Stamina: NaN

Recovery: NaN

Weight

Max 3'000 kg.

<25%

Titles *active

Traits

Wannabe Singer*

Mascot*

Patched Soul*

Cookie Lover*

Cookie Snatcher*

Not a hero

Pet of ???

Ex Pet of Narrator

Ruler of Hell #391/31-Z

Skeletal

Divine Existence

Chaotic disposition

Prince of Undead

Hellish Dancer

Squeaker

Planestrider

Divine Strength 150

Divine Vitality 150

Divine Vigor 150

Divine Endurance 150

Divine Agility 240

Divine Speed 900

Divine Dexterity 190

Divine Perception 150

Divine Processing Power 100

Divine Intelligence 200

Divine Willpower 200

Divine Magic 300

Divine Charisma 100

Luck 100

Unallocated points 0

Tokens 0

Affinities

Fire 10

Water 10

Earth 10

Air 10

Light 10

Darkness 50

Lightning 10

Nature 10

Ice 15

Blood 35

Shadow 50

Illusion 10

Void 100

Time 100

Space 100

Infernal 100

Mana 100

Chaos 100

Death 100

Life 100

Weapon Masteries

Defense Masteries

Magic Masteries

Utility Masteries

Claws – MAX

HtH – MAX

Evasion – MAX

Dodging – MAX

All of them. Really...

Sneaking – MAX

Camouflage – MAX

Traps – MAX

Hunting – MAX

Intimidation – MAX

Flesh Carving – MAX

Smooth Squeaker – Expert

Active Skills

Passive Skills

Magic Skills

Buffs

Debuffs

Slash

Xenobirth

Resistances: Elemental (X), Magic (X), Physical (X), Divine (X).

Immunity: Pain, Holy, Light, Shadow, Darkness, Acid, Blood.

Aura of Adorable Fear.

Inventory

Slayer

All of them, not joking.

Blessing of Chaos

Follower of Crazy One

None

See? Skeletal, I am skinny, not fat like those pricks told me. Oh and about hell... it was an accident. That was never my intention!