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Indigo pulled the blanket up closer to her eyes. She was extremely tired seeing that she managed to not get a wink of sleep. Instead she was awake overthinking and having flashbacks.

Luckily today was Saturday so she had no school, as a result she has been in Kenji's barbershop since eleven. Currently she is laying down in a row of chairs pretending to sleep so no one talks to her. Her blanket was suddenly snatched off her.

Groaning, Indigo opened her eyes just to see Kenji standing there. "I know you're not sleeping. Here", saying this he passed her a plate of food.

Shaking her head she passed it back saying, "I'm not hungry". Indigo was not someone to pass up food so Kenji said, "You didn't eat breakfast, it's four o'clock. Take this".

Indigo looked at her feet as Kenji studied her for a minute. Feeling his eyes on her she pulled her sleeve down trying to cover her arm. Well not before Kenji can spot the fresh marks on her wrist. Already knowing that the people in the shop were probably listening he just walked away.

Indigo sat down twirling her hair around her finger as she shook her leg trying to hold back the tears. She felt like she disappointed him, she tried to get better and do better but she just could not seem to.

Indigo was three weeks clean of self harm before last night. She managed to not get a wink of sleep because of grandmother's words from thanksgiving rang through her ears. She felt like she was not only the cause of her parents death but she was also a disappointment to them.

She has achieved nothing in life but trying to end her life. Indigo didn't see a future in herself at all. She would rather prefer to not be here.

Indigo snapped her rubberband on her wrist as she tried to get rid of the negative thoughts in her head. Finally calming her breathing she decided to do something to distract her. Picking up her book bag she took out her math folder deciding to get some work done.

Opening the folder she took out the math worksheet and stared at it confused. She was taking physics and even though she was passing it still confused her. Math was so dumb, she's not going to use any of this later in life.

Doing the first nine questions she got stuck on the last one and decided to ask for help. She looked around the shop tring to see who she should ask for help. Black don't take anything serious and Jordan is stupid. Black and Jordan were Kenji's best friends so Indigo was always around them.

Getting up she walked over to Kenji's station deciding to ask him for help. As she walked over there she could feel people staring at her. Kenji was currently cutting this female's hair but when he saw Indigo coming he put down his clippers.

Wiping his hands on his apron he asked, "What do you need". Without saying her word she passed him the paper. Kenji looked over the question before explaining it to her. As he explained it Indigo felt someone looking at her and turned to the side just to see the female mugging her.

Kenji looked at the lady before asking, " Is there a problem". Black cosigned him from across the room saying, "I'm just a little confused as to why you're staring all in my besties face".

The female rolled her eyes, "I'm confused as to why you stopped cutting my hair to talk to this bitch", she said referring to Indigo. Indigo looked the girl up and down ready to slap the shit out of her. Jordan pursed his lips saying, "I'm calling Ameena right now to beat you up", as he took out his phone.

Kenji nodded his head unplugging his tools, "Now you can make your way out my shop". The girl rolled her eyes as she got up with her hair half done. Indigo smirked as she watched the lady stomp out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Indigo twirled around in a chair as she listened to the men in the shop's conversation. "Nah that shit is so fucked up. They need to give that girl her justice", Kenji said.

Black added on saying, "They used her as an act of activism just to not give her justice". One of the men spoke up saying, "They didn't charge the officers cause her family took that money".

Kenji shook his head saying, "You sound ode ignorant. Educate yourself my nigga. There were two cases, a civil one and a criminal one. They won the civil case and that's why they got money. Even if they won the criminal case they would have still got money. Out here sounding dumb as fuck".

They were currently discussing the Breonna Taylor case in the shop. Another one of the men spoke up saying, "This system is so fucked up". Kenji shook his head saying, "It's not fucked up. It's doing what it was created to do".

He then continued taking saying, "When slavery ended jails and police were created. Jail was just a simple way to lock up a black man. Look a white person in the face, jail for life. Breathe to loud, jail for life. Do anything the white man was not pleased with, jail for life. It was either jail or being lynched. And in jail the things they did to them was worse than even being lynched."

"The KKK was formed but before that the police was started. The police at that time were openly racist. It was a known fact that the leader of the KKK was normally a police sheriff. Laws then started being created against black people, most of these laws are still in place today. The police is the KKK. Yea they changed but the training they receive is still the same today", Kenji added.

"Smart ass nigga", Jordan muttered under his breath.

Black shoved Jordan before adding his opinion saying, "It's the same thing for black women. You know in their medical papers it literally says that black people don't feel pain. That's why black women are 5 times as likely to die giving birth than white women. The same way police kill black men is the same way doctors kill black women".

Kenji nodded his head saying, "Exactly and no one seems to talk about it. That's why I make sure all of my doctors are black. Not only mine but Indigo and Ameena. All our doctor's are black".

Another man who was in the shop said, "I just don't like how they are rioting and burning stuff down".

Kenji shook his head saying, "When they peacefully protest no one listens. Now they are burning shit up and they want to listen. Nah they can burn shit up. Most of the places they riot in are white owned anyway".

The man kept on going saying, "But her family asked for peaceful protests".

"Yet again your ignorance is showing. The lawyer said that. But all I know is that if I die from police brutality and niggas out here saying he will want peace imma be mad. I will come back to haunt yall".

Everyone in the shop laughed as Kenji continued saying, "All jokes aside if Ameena or Indigo die from police brutality, I'm fucking shit up".

~~~~~~~~~

Indigo took out her canvas ready to paint. The conversation from the barbershop was heavy on her mind. She didn't really show it but Breonna's death hurt her.

They didn't only fail her family but also failed every black woman in the world. It just showed her that black women don't really matter. Breonna's name was used as a hashtag for performalism activism. A name to post so you don't seem racist. But in reality they don't really care.

It hurts because she is a black woman growing up in America, and it just feels like everyone is against her. But Macolm X said it best , "The most disrespected person in America is the black women. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman".

He's right and it hurts. Black women are there for everyone but no one is there for them.

It hurts because the same police meant to protect is doing more harm than good. Cleaning her paintbrushes Indigo got to work. She put her emotions into her painting. For the next eight hours she sat down and painted, expressing how she felt.

Signing the bottom of the painting she stepped back looking at it. "Because your life mattered to me".

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The system is not broken, it's doing exactly what it's meant to do.

For Breonna Taylor 🕊❤️