《Fifty Shames of Earl Grey》Excerpt Part V
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“We’re here,” Earl says wickedly. You might not think someone can say “we’re here” wickedly, but if you heard Earl say it, you would totes agree. He says everything wickedly.
We step out of the helicopter and he leads me, hand in hand, into the Starbucks. He’s not wearing his joy-buzzer, but his touch is still electric. I gaze into his gazing eyes gazingly like a gazelle gazing into another gazelle’s gazing gaze—
WHAM!
The next thing I know, I’m on my back on the concrete. He reaches a hand out to help me up. “Are you okay, baby?”
“I think so,” I say as he pulls me back to my feet. I was just gazing into your eyes too gazingly, and ran into the door. Stupid Anna!
Earl opens the door for me, and this time I walk through it instead of into it. “Grab us a table and I’ll grab the drinks,” he says. Another smirk! The only time I’ve seen someone smile this much was the time my roommate Kathleen and I did E. “What would you like?”
“Tea, please.”
“No coffee?”
“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say.
“Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.”
“And how would you know what burnt ass tastes like?”
He laughs. “That’s for me to know . . . and you to find out.”
I’m not sure I want to find out, but whatever.
He starts toward the counter, then stops. “I didn’t ask you what kind of tea you wanted,” he says to me.
“Isn’t it obvious?” I say.
Now it’s my turn to smirk.
“Earl Grey. Hot.”
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