《Fifty Shames of Earl Grey》Excerpt Part IV
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Earl Grey has a helicopter waiting for us in the Wal-Mart parking lot. “Where’s the pilot?” I ask.
“Right here, baby,” he says, pointing two thumbs toward his chest. For the first time since he showed up in my checkout lane, I let my eyes wander the full length of his body. The bulge running down the side of his pants leg is quite noticeable. Then I notice a similar bulge running down the side of his other pants leg. Either he has a banana in each pocket, or he’s really happy to see me.
We step into the helicopter’s cockpit and he takes control of the controls like the controlling man he is. He flashes me that smile again, the one that makes me soak my sweatpants.
“I’ve never been in a helicopter before,” I say as the helicopter blades start spinning overhead. “Heck, I’ve never even flown on an airplane. This is so exciting, Mr. Grey.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet, Anna,” he says. It’s the first time he’s called me by my first name. Swoon. “Do you know what the Mile High Club is?”
I shake my head. “Is that some sort of country club for aviators?”
“Sort of,” he says, smirking.
Before I know it, we’re off the ground and soaring above the parking lot. The people are so small from this height; they look like ants (although they’re wearing clothes and have two legs instead of six). This is amazing. I’m in a helicopter with Earl Grey, the most handsomest man on the planet. And now he’s the most handsomest man in the air! I peer into the distance, and can see the Space Needle in faraway Seattle jutting above the skyline. We’re up so high, and the sun is so bright—
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“Earl!” I shout.
“What!” he shouts back, over the roar of the helicopter’s massive blades.
“Watch out for the sun!”
“What!”
“I said, WATCH OUT FOR THE SUN!”
He shoots me a puzzled look.
“What? I’m not wearing sunscreen,” I say.
He shakes his head.
“Nevermind,” I mutter. He probably knows how close to the sun we can fly without getting burned. I hope.
As we begin our descent, I get butterflies in my stomach. I close my mouth, because I don’t want to pull a Kathleen and spew chunks all over Earl. He lands the helicopter at the Starbucks across the street from Wal-Mart.
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