《The Girl With The Cellphone》Chapter 8
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I walk down the street, head facing the ground. I go forward but I don't even know where. I'm sure I'm lost but I can't go anywhere. Everybody hates me, even more than before. I have no chance anymore. This is the end. Even Shorty must hate me. Look at that nickname. He hated it but I continue calling him that. How much of an asshole am I? I deserve being ignore by everyone. I deserve it... I should leave far, far away. Where there is nobody, where I can be alone, where I can never be seen by people.
Ugly face!
Murderer!
Careful! Or else she'll kill you too!
Half-caste people are disgusting!
Go back to your country!
But I live here... I was born here and...
Shut up! Even your brother hates you!
K-Kenshi...
Sorry Amy but, let's not talk to each other anymore.
But why..?
I don't want to talk to a monster.
American girls' bodies are quite nice.
Hey Miss, you wanna play with us?
Leave me alone!
Where were you Amy?
I...
I can't believe you! Look at how you come back! Sorry I'm in hurry, we'll talk about this later.
D-Dad... I was...
I say we'll see later! Listen for once!
What do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going?
To my mom's parents.
Grandma and grandpa? But why-
They're not your family! They are my mom's!
But I...
Shut up! I don't want to hear you! You're a monster!
Eeeh. The poor thing. I heard her brother abandon her.
Really? I thought they were close. They were always together.
You don't know? She killed his mother.
Did she?! What a monster...
D-Dad...
Yes, I know. Don't cry now, I'm busy.
B-but Kenshi...
I know! He just... wanted to change. We're moving out as soon as you graduate anyway.
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What do you mean? What about Kenshi?!
He won't come back Amy. They won't come back.
I stop in my track. I look at the ground which is definitely more interesting than anything else. I guess you can't just ignore your past and bury it forever. It'll always be here and somebody will always make you remember it. Whore! I really don't deserve to live do I? Nobody likes you! I walk again, ignoring the world around me. Go to hell! I can't feel anything anymore. I hate you! I'm sure nobody will care if I leave. Amy... Will my dad will? What are you doing? I'm in a hurry, leave me alone. No... I disappointed him. Why did you never tell me? So many times I did. Amy... How did he never throw me away? Amy! Uh? What's that sound? Looks like some engine. It's getting closer. Is a car going to crash into me? Aah, well. Now I'm sure that I've never deserved to live in this cruel world. I stand there, raising slowly my head and see that car really close to me. It's going really fast. I'm sure I'm going to die with the impact. I wait for it. So... It's finally over? A tear roll down my cheek one more time, thinking about my whole life until now. My pitiful life, full of failures. Is it relief that I feel? Or sadness? Will someone at least miss me? I can always dream...
But I never felt it. Despite, I feel the hard ground under me. Did it hit me? Am I going to die now? But I don't feel any pain. Did it miss me? I slowly open my eyes. My vision is blurry from all the tears, I can't see very well. I manage to see a shadow overhead me. I can still see the sky behind that shadow. So, I'm still alive. Then, my vision fully comes back. Is that...
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"Sai...to?" He looks panicked. He's out of breath and sweaty. Did he run all the way from school to find me? Why? Did he not hear them talk back there? Why... "Why did you save me?" My voice is shaking. I don't know how to react right now. I am so shocked. Why did he do that for somebody like me?
"Why?" He repeats. Again and again, he repeats those words with a quiver. Is he mad? His whole body is shaking. He looks like he wants to cry. "Are you stupid or what?!" He yells at me, his eyes piercing my own body. His eyes looks so sincere and sad. Was he always looking at me with those sincere eyes? He's tearing up even if he tries his best not to. "Don't do that again," his voice is low. Anybody would have a hard time hearing what he said. It was just audible for my ears. His tears fall on my face. I did... make him worried, didn't I? I really am stupid.
I feel my tears coming again. I still have some in me? "I'm sorry," I let it go finally after a long silence. I say it once more and once again. I feel the burden I was carrying all this time, leaving my body as I cry out loud all my pain. I hear footsteps coming closer to us but I don't care anymore. It feels good to cry, to finally let it go, to feel free. I feel Saito's arms slide behind my back as he makes me sit up. He holds me close as if to make sure I am really here. I grip his school uniform tightly in my hands. I never felt like that my whole life and it's all thanks to him. Did I wait for him all this time? The one that would safe me? The one that would understand me? You told me that once, that I would find this person. I think... I finally did.
After a minute or more – I don't even know – we let go of each other looking at one another eyes. He smiles at me. It's a genuine smile. A real smile. I smile back. I'm happy. I'm extremely happy. I hear somebody's running. I turn my eyes and see both Mori and Fujita. Mori jumps into my arms and holds me close. I hug her back, burying my head into her neck as we cry together. Fujita lets out a sigh of relief as he crunches down next to three of us and pats my head. I'm glad to have them. I'm... grateful. I don't know if I deserve it but...
I'll make sure to treasure them with my whole heart.
Please, stay my friends.
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