《Absurd Haikus, an Autobiography》absurd haiku #15 (on donald trump)
Advertisement
Portly orange swine mittens kittens. Hog slop talks back, "We died for this?"
Author's note: lest this be misinterpreted, hog slop is to swine as fodder is to ruminants, as in cannon fodder. Years ago a grocer in a tiny shop said to me, unbidden, "Politicians are the lowest form of life on Earth. They thrive on working people"s sweat and the working class's children's blood." Also, the formerly conscious constituents of this vile creature's meals would surely speak what the slop says here, if only they might.
Advertisement
- In Serial58 Chapters
Of Men and Dragons, Book 1
Book 1 is now available on Kindle, or in paperback/hardcover! You can buy it here! Jack crash-landed on a planet where the natives are seven-foot-tall carnivorous cat-lizards currently somewhere between stone and bronze age. The good news is the natives think the ship that crashed into their mountain is a dragon and are steering clear of it. The bad news is they just left one of their own as a sacrifice to appease the beast. No matter what Jack and his AI co-pilot decide, his life just got a lot more complicated... ATTENTION: This is soft sci-fi rather than hard sci-fi, hence why I chose that tag. For those of you unfamiliar with the distinction, here's what Wikipedia had to say. 1. It explores the "soft" sciences, and especially the social sciences (for example, anthropology, sociology, or psychology), rather than engineering or the "hard" sciences (for example, physics, astronomy, or chemistry). 2. It is not scientifically accurate or plausible; the opposite of hard science fiction. Soft science fiction of either type is often more concerned with character and speculative societies, rather than speculative science or engineering. The term first appeared in the late 1970s and is attributed to Australian literary scholar Peter Nicholls.
8 209 - In Serial25 Chapters
Sword of Ending
Ollowyn’s Life began unlike any other. Born with snow-white hair, he was brought into the woods to die according to age old traditions. Left to the will of the gods, the helpless child waited for his death. However, the gods showed mercy. A young wolf cub, lost and cut off from its mother, stumbled over the young Ollowyn. Half frozen to death and dead tired, it snuggled to the warm body. When it was found by the mother just hours later, Ollowyn already smelled like one of her own. Adopted and cared for he grew up among wolves. He learned to live after the rules of the pack, continuously fighting to survive. As the years went by, he grew stronger than his brothers and sisters, hunted with different means. But even though he loved and adored his family, he noticed more and more that he was different. No fur, no claws and as much as he tried, his teeth would never find prey by themselves. What made him different? The urge to find answers grew with every day, until he set out aged seven to find them. But after days of searching hunger and exhaustion brought him to his knees as he collapsed on a dusty road. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- German Version can be found on RR as well. https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/19996/sword-of-ending-german. But it isn't written as well and only serves as my own template for chapters. For those of you that would like to join my Discord: Discord: Florean Fortescue Feel free to join, to ask questions, favours or interact with other readers. Enjoy reading. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 185 - In Serial45 Chapters
Of Deities and Dimensions
Zackery Taylor was enjoying his life as an E-sport professional gamer, climbing the ladder and respectfully typing 'gg' whenever he lost. Then the Earth received a visit from an interdimensional deity named Akmadouric, who had come to recruit soldiers for his war against that should not exist. In exchange those who fight for him will receive immortality. Who could refuse?But very quickly he figures out that he is in way over his head as he enters a universe of infinite possibility. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- story arc 3 in progress
8 239 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Chronicles of The Green wizard
Garion Greensleeves always was an oddity. The first son of High-Wizard Garius Greensleeves and Adricor, a Noble woman of well renown, he would of stood to inherit much. However, on the night of his first full moon, as a baby he disappeared from his cot. His parents, after much frantic searching, found the babe crying in a small clearing of trees, a large feline creature pacing defensively around him, the bloodied corpse of a fox resting at its feet. As the parents approached, the beast transformed into a small owl and flew around the clearing before perching on a low branch of a tree nearby. From this moment on Garion's fate had been decided. Only those with magical blood could be capable of calling out to such a being as this. As Garion grew older, the transforming creature remained by his side. Wizards from all the continents visited the glade to see the child who had bound a familiar to his will as a babe. At age seven, Garion left his home glade and travelled the world studying to become a recognised guilded wizard. After many years he was granted the title of Wizard and was sent forth to advise, learn and ponder on behalf of the guild. After a while, Garion was assigned to a small nation within the vast continent mainly populated by man-folk known as The Patchwork kingdoms.
8 75 - In Serial15 Chapters
Rise of The Tyrant
In the 35th year of the Evolver Era Calendar, countless holes suddenly appeared on the surface of the earth's seven continents. These are holes to enter into a mysterious underground world that turns out to be bigger than the world on the surface. Technology doesn't work here, but there are plenty of resources and legacies from the unknown ages. What's even more surprising is that it turns out that there are other holes that lead to a deeper underground world. This second one is still unknown as those who entered haven't returned until now. Ciel Arnaud wishes to explore the Second Underground World to find his parents who disappeared when he was only 7 years old. Unfortunately, his lack of talent makes it difficult to fulfill his wish. Things got really bad after his adoptive sister who was his parent's disciple followed in their footsteps. His father's distant cousin who was supposed to be the next person to take care of him turns out to have a hidden grudge against his father. He caught him, imprisoned him, tortured him, and forced him to tell him where his parents' relics were which he didn't really know at all. In the midst of his despair after one year of torture, something suddenly appeared. This was something that changed his fate. From weak to invincible. From being useless to being the most tyrannical and domineering being....
8 103 - In Serial32 Chapters
STAR WARS: Knights of the Old Republic
Four thousand years before Anakin Skywalker was born, the Jedi thrived as the guardians of peace in the galaxy. The Republic, weakened by a costly war with the Mandalorians, faces now another great threat. A false Sith Empire created by two fallen Jedi, Revan and Malak, has risen from the ashes of that war. Now the Republic is on the brink of defeat to their once great hero, now turned Darth Revan. Hoping to protect the Republic at all costs, the Jedi dispatch an elite strike force to capture the Dark Lord. To the dismay of the Jedi, Revan is betrayed and killed by his apprentice Darth Malak, who proclaims himself the new Dark Lord of the Sith. Now with the entire galaxy at stake, the Jedi and the Republic must go to extreme lengths if they are to survive the seemingly endless forces the new Sith ruler commands. Only by the will of the Force, will they survive... This is a novelization of the popular video game by Bioware. One of my favorite stories within the Star Wars universe, I am putting my own little twists and style on this story in a way I could see potentially fitting into the new canon by Disney. I will be releasing new chapters periodically with the goal of trimming the story down a little bit as well. Enjoy, and of course constructive criticism always welcome, and if you like what you're reading, consider voting for my story.
8 93

