Back in high school, Josh and I were inseparable...at least for my freshman and sophomore year. I met him on the very first day of high school. As most freshmen, I was nervous about fitting in. Nobody wanted to be lonely. Josh made everything better. He was a sophomore so he knew his way around the school. He knew the teachers. He knew the best spot to have lunch was on the bench under a big tree in the football field. We would help each other with our homework. We would hang out after school. I would go to his baseball games. He was my best friend. The first real friend I ever had.

Things changed when Brad and I started going out. I knew who Brad was before we met. I knew he was Josh's little brother and that he was in the same year I was and that he was one of the cool kids. I started hanging out with Brad when we ended up in the same Calculus class junior year. He asked me out shortly after the year started and I said yes of course, because who says no to one of the cutest guys in school? Soon, everyone knew I was Brad's girlfriend.

I will always hate myself for not noticing when I started to lose Josh as a friend. It didn't happen suddenly but it happened quickly. I began to hang out more with Brad, less with Josh, until Josh and I didn't even talk at all. Before I knew it, we were strangers and awkward around each other. I wondered many times if it was because it bothered him that I started going out with his brother. I imagined that was the reason. I also wished he would of told me. Our friendship meant a lot to me and I would have understood. I mean it would have been weird if Josh started going out with my sister. I don't think I would like it. Even now.

I've always wished I would have done things differently. Maybe tried to speak with Josh back then before we stopped talking. Or made more time for us. I would have done anything to keep him as a friend but I also had some dignity. Josh didn't seem like he wanted to keep being my friend. I did what I could. I wished we would have stayed friends but that wasn't the case and the silence in the truck as he drives me home right now proves it.

If we were still friends, I would be telling him about what happened with Brad. I would also be asking him about his experiences in the past eight years. We would stay up all night talking. We wouldn't be sitting here in an awkward silence. The tension between us is heavy and impossible to ignore.

"You're gonna make a right at the light." I tell him quietly as we approach my street.

He nods but doesn't say anything. When he turns, I direct him to my apartment complex. He parks and shuts the ignition. I find myself in another car sitting with an Andrews' brother for the second time tonight.

"Thank you, Josh," I say without looking at him. Then I reach out and open the door to get out.

"Natalie, wait."

I stop and turn around. Josh is standing in front of his father's truck. He hesitates. "Are you going to be alright?"

I nod and try to smile as reassurance. "I'll be fine."

He takes a step forward and then he half smiles, making him look like the Josh I used to know. "It's really good to see you again. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

I feel my body relax a bit. Okay. So he doesn't hate me. "It's okay, it's not your fault. I'm glad you're home."

"You sure you're gonna be alright?" He asks again.

I smile then shake my head. "No. I-" I bite my lip. "I probably won't be for a while."

He nods at my raw honesty then he takes a few more steps forward until he's in front of me. "Would it be alright if I called you to check up on you? I won't call every day, I promise."

My stomach tingles at his words. The way he's looking at me makes me feel like he actually does care about me. "Okay."

"Is your number the same?"

I nod. "Yes. You still have it?"

He shrugs. "Should be in my old phone." He looks at me for a moment. "Your hair is shorter."

My hand goes to my hair which is about shoulder length now. "Yeah. I've had it like this for a while now. I like it."

"Me too. Looks good on you."

I smile. "Thanks."

"I should go now and let you rest." He scratches the back of his head and he takes a breath as if giving up. Then he takes a step forward and hugs me. I'm surprised but I smile and close my eyes as I put my arms around his waist. I know I missed him but I don't realize how much until now. We pull away just as quick as the hug started. "Goodnight, Natalie."

"Night, Josh," I say then turn around and walk to my apartment. I struggle with the key in the darkness before I am able to unlock the door. I know he's still out there waiting for me to walk inside and I walk in without looking back.

The apartment is dark and quiet. I know Cassie is probably not here. She spends some nights with her boyfriend. I walk straight to my room not even bothering to turn on any lights. I kick off my boots and pull the dress out of my head then get under the covers. I don't have time to think about anything that happened today because my body shuts the moment I close my eyes.

________________________________________________________________________

The next day is Sunday so I drag myself out of bed and get in the shower. I usually go visit my parents on Sundays. I used to do it just to make them happy or so they wouldn't worry so much about me, especially my mom. But that changed as I got older. Now I visit them because I miss them. Sometimes it's my safe haven, a break from the real world when life gets too hard.

My parents own an inn which is like a hotel but small. It is right in front of the beach over in Newport which is about two hours away from Portland, where I live. We all used to live in Portland up until I graduated from high school. My dad's mother passed away that year and she left him her house in Newport. It was a beautiful house, still is. My parents decided to invest in it and turn it into an inn because of the great location. People will pay buckets just to stay in a hotel in front of the beach. You can literally hear the waves all the time from the inn. That was the year my parents moved to Newport with my little sister. Savannah was a sophomore in high school then so she had to go. I, on the other hand, had already been accepted to Portland University and I was going to live in the dorms anyway so I made the decision to stay.

I've always enjoyed the drive. I love driving alone. Mostly because I can play Queen as loud as I can and sing along without having to worry about someone else in the car. It's one of my favorite things in this world. That's why I decide to go over despite all the things happening around me. I thought about not going just so I didn't have to tell my family about my break up with Brad but I'm going to tell them eventually so better soon rather than later.

It's around noon when I get there. I park then walk around to the inn. After the remodel, the inn now has ten rooms eight of which are used for occupants and the other two, which are downstairs, my parents use for their own. They sleep in one and the other one is used by my sister or me whenever we come over. The inn looks like a two-story house. It is white with windows all around and a beautiful porch facing the ocean. It is so open. I love it. I walk up the stairs of the porch then look at the ocean for a moment. There are some people running, some with their dogs while others are just sitting out the sand reading a book. I take a deep breath as I enjoy the sound of the waves crashing against each other. I already feel so much better.

"Natalie, honey, is that you?"

I turn around and smile at Mom. "Hey, mom."

She smiles at me then walks to hug me. I realize then that I hadn't come in about a month. I guess it had been longer that I had thought. "I was wondering when you were going to grace us with your presence."

"Sorry." I apologize as we pull away. "I've been a bit busy." That is a lie but I don't really have another good excuse for not having come in a while. Though I'm gonna end up telling her about about Brad so I guess it doesn't matter.

She looks behind me. "Is Brad here too?"

I think about lying her but I decide right there that there's no point. I bite my lip. "Brad and I broke up, mom."

She looks at me with wide eyes in clear shock. Her lips are even slightly parted. "What? Why? When?"

"Uh-can we go inside first?" I don't want to have this conversation outside for anyone to hear.

"Right. Yes. I was just finishing lunch. You hungry?"

"A bit, yes." I didn't have breakfast so I actually do have an appetite. I had been sipping on an iced coffee from Starbucks on my drive here.

"Larry!" Mom calls as we walk inside. "Natalie is here!"

Though this is an inn, this is also my parent's house and mom has never been shy about it. She has always lived here like she would in a normal home. She sits in the living room at times to read. She cooks as she would for our family. She greets and talks to everyone as if they were part of our family. I think a lot of people appreciate it. She makes this whole place feel like home.

"Is Savannah here?" I ask as I follow her to the kitchen. I pour myself a cup of coffee while my mom serves us some lunch.

"Not yet."

I turn around to sit on the dining table then smile at my dad when I see him walking in. "Hey, dad."

He grins as he opens his arms for me. I walk to him and let him give me a bear hug. My dad's hugs are probably one of my favorite things in this world. It always seems to put everything back into place when things are broken. I always feel so good afterwards. I don't know what I would do without his hugs. Today, I have to fight back the tears. "Hey, baby. How are you?" He pulls away and inspects me with his brown eyes. "Are you eating well?"

I smile as I sit down on one of the chairs. "Yes, dad. I'm okay. Everything's-good."

Mom looks at me as she places a plate of tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich in front of me. My stomach growls in response. It looks delicious. I begin to eat while she serves dad and herself. We all eat in silence for a moment.

"Any guests?" I finally ask. Lunchtime is at noon in the inn and there's no one else but us in the dining room so I'm guessing they don't have any guests at the moment.

Mom shakes her head to confirm it. "Just a family of four at the moment. They're tourists so they've been gone since breakfast."

"How's Brad?" Dad asks as he reaches for his orange juice. "Haven't seen him in a minute."

I push my plate away from me, suddenly not very hungry, then I look up. "Dad...Brad and I broke up."

He raises his eyebrows. "No way. Are you alright?"

I shrug. "I will be."

Just then, Savannah walks into the kitchen. By the look on her face, I can tell she heard what I just said. Savannah is two years younger than me. We look alike, people sometimes wonder if we are twins. We have the same brown hair and brown eyes and we have Dad's straight nose and Mom's long eyelashes which is, of course, a blessing now-a-days. She has always been thinner than me though and in my opinion, she's also prettier than me though people always insist otherwise. Her hair is also longer, down to her waist, and it's much wavier than mine.

"Wait, what?" She asks setting her purse down and pulling out a chair next to me.

"What happened?" Mom asks.

I look at her as I think about my answer. The Andrews are very close to all of us. Louisa and Mom are really close friends. They're always talking on the phone. They were friends before Brad and I started our relationship but it definitely brought them closer. We were all practically family already. Which is why it makes this whole situation even worse. I would hate to be the reason Mom loses her friend. I know that both Mom and Dad have always treated Brad like part of the family. I don't need any more family drama. That's why I shrug again and say, "We just sort of drifted apart. I guess we weren't ready for marriage."

They share a look and I look down at my food in shame.

"We're very sorry, honey," Mom says sympathetically. "Maybe what you both need is a break. I'm sure you'll find your way back to each other soon."

Her voice is so hopeful, it kills me. I know I shouldn't but I nod. "Maybe...maybe not. Either way, I think this is what's best for us right now."

Savannah narrows her eyes at me but doesn't say anything. I know I haven't fooled her. She knows me too well. Savannah and I used to fight a lot when we were both teenagers. We didn't really get along. That changed once I graduated from high school which kind of sucked because that's when she had to come to Newport with Mom and Dad. We are very close now. She's my best friend. I know I'm not going to be able to lie to her.

Mom and Dad talk about some of the guests they've had over the days for the rest of lunch. It's something they like to do. They get to know each of their guests to a very personal level. People really love them.

It is after lunch when Savannah pulls me out of the inn, out to the beach, and I tell her everything before she even asks. I didn't realize I had been waiting to tell her because I knew that once I told her, there was no going back. She's going to hate Brad for what he did to me and hold that grudge forever. She's not going to let me get back together with him and I'm counting on that.

There's really no going back now.