Five hours later, I am with Brad in his car to go to his parent's house. It feels weird. The tension is clear between us. I don't know why Brad wanted me to come with him. Especially after our conversation earlier today. He's acting differently than how he was back when we broke up about three years ago. That time we broke up because we sort of drifted apart. I was starting a new job and Brad was working a lot at the fire station. We just got busy and lazy for our relationship. We had a talk over the phone one night and broke up.

He didn't look for me again until a year later which was when we decided to give it another try. He didn't act this way at all. He was more compliant. He had given up. I can tell he's not giving up easily this time. I wonder why. Maybe because he feels guilty. I know I share some of that guilt. I've endured it for years now.

The night Josh kissed me, it changed something. I just haven't really figured out what. The fact that I didn't stop him or push him away has always bothered me. Kissing your boyfriend's brother is definitely up high in the list of things not to do. It's so hard to believe that eight years have passed since then. It feels like it was months ago, weeks even. That makes me nervous. Josh probably doesn't even remember the kiss. I doubt he's thought about it as much as I have. I know it's probably something we might never talk about again...but I've always wondered why he did it.

That night after we pulled away, I ran out of his room as fast as my legs could take me. Now I wish I would have stayed to talk. He probably thought I got angry at him. I wasn't. That was the last time I saw Josh and now I'm on my way to his parent's house to see him again. I look forward to seeing him again. I considered him my best friend at one point in high school. I knew him before I met Brad. There's no logical reason for me to be nervous but I am. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't have come. Especially when things are not good between Brad and I. I'm not sure I can deal with all of this all at once.

It's too late to back out now. We're here.

Brad pulls onto the driveway and parks. He shuts the ignition. It's dark outside and we sit in the darkness of the car for a moment. Neither of us say anything. The lights are on inside the house. They're probably getting ready for dinner. Maybe waiting for us. The happy couple.

"Would you-"

I turn to look at Brad who hesitates. I look down at his hand and realize he's holding the engagement ring. I was so happy the day he proposed. It really felt like nothing could go wrong between us but here we are. I'm not so sure we can ever get back to how we were before.

"Would you take it?" He finally finishes his question.

He's asking me to wear it. I shake my head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Brad." We're already deceiving his family. What's the point if this is going to end soon?

He sighs sounding defeated, as if he expected that answer. "You were the one thing I had done right in my life-"

"Don't say that. That's not true."

"My parents-they love you." He continues. "They've always wondered how it is that I ended up with someone so good like you."

I turn to look outside the window, my throat tightening.

"And now I've screwed it up." He looks at me sadly. "The one good thing in my life. I'm so sorry, Natalie."

I turn to look at him, fighting back the tears. I hate seeing him like this. I want him to be his old lay back self. I love Brad. I've loved him since high school. I think part of me always will. He will always be my first love. My first real boyfriend. He was my first everything.

I reach out and place my hands on his cheeks then I press my lips against his in a sad kiss. "I'm not as good as you think I am, Brad." I tell him. Then I reach out for the ring and put it back on my finger. "I'll do this for you. Whatever you need to make this easier. But please don't get your hopes up. This doesn't mean we just forget about everything that has happened."

I pull away then get out of the car and wait for him by the front door. He joins me and rings the doorbell. He reaches for my hand and I let him take it as the door is pulled open.

"Hey! We've been wondering where you two were!" Louisa, Brad's mother, greets us with a big smile on her face. Seeing how happy she is right now makes me glad I came and decided to play along with Brad. Now I understand why he didn't want to tell his parents about our break up today or why he didn't want to have to explain why I didn't show up. This night wasn't about us. It was about his parents and his brother. I imagine Louisa must be extremely happy right now to have her son back under her roof after eight years of him being away.

I place a smile on my face and she leans in for a hug. "You look lovely." She tells me.

I look down at the black dress I'm wearing. It was the first thing I thought to put on when I got dressed. "Thank you. So do you."

"Come on in. We're just getting ready for dinner."

Brad and I follow her into the house. The TV is on in the living room though nobody is watching. Brad's father, Clint, is already at the dinner table when we reach the dining room. Both Josh and Brad inherited Clint's broad shoulders, brown eyes, and long legs. They're all tall and look even taller when all three of them are together. Sitting at the dinner table is also Crystal. She is a firefighter at Clint's station. I am not surprised to see her here for one reason: Louisa has been going on about how much she was looking forward for Josh to meet Crystal. She likes her for her son. I don't blame her. Crystal is very beautiful and she's also very kind. And she's a firefighter which I'm sure is what Josh will be doing now that he's back. They already have so many things in common. Which is great.

I don't notice Josh in the room until he's hugging Brad. I stand there awkwardly but with a small smile on my face knowing how much they must have missed each other.

"Hey." They both say at the same time then chuckle.

"So good to see you, brother. You look good." Josh is telling Brad.

"Thanks." Brad is actually managing to smile and look like he means it. "Same to you." And then he puts an arm around my shoulders. "You remember Natalie, of course."

I look up and meet Josh's gaze. He looks bigger, buffer. The muscles in his arms are visible through the cashmere sweater he's wearing. His hair is a bit longer than how he usually kept it. He looks more mature. Intimidating. Nothing like the teenage boy who I once considered my best friend back in high school.

Josh's smile fades when he looks at me which hurts like a slap on the face. I suddenly feel embarrassed for being here. He doesn't look happy to see me. At all. He really doesn't. I shouldn't have come.

I don't even go for a hug, afraid he's going to deny it. I just nod with a smile. "Hello, Josh. Good to see you."

He looks at me but before he has the chance to say anything (didn't seem like he was going to say anything by the way), Louisa is already calling everyone to the table. Brad walks away and I stay there for a second, unable to look away from Josh's brown eyes. They are a chocolate brown. They seem darker than they are at the moment.

"Natalie?"

I break the staring contest to look at Brad who is pulling out a chair for me. "Oh, thank you," I say as I walk to him and sit. He takes the seat next to me.

"Natalie, you've met Crystal," Louisa says as she places a plate of pasta in front of me.

I smile at Crystal who is sitting across Brad. "Yes, I believe so. How are you, Crystal?" I pretend not to be distracted as Josh takes the seat directly across from me, next to Crystal.

She smiles. "I'm great. How are you? I heard about the engagement. Congratulations."

My smile fades as I glance down at the ring on my finger. This is harder than I thought it was going to be. What the hell was I thinking? I could be in the safe four walls of my room right now. I can't pretend everything is all right. I thought I could.

"You two are getting married." Josh states and I frown. I would think that Brad told him when he proposed to me. I guess he didn't. Not that it matters anymore.

"No," Brad finally says loudly and I turn to look at him in shock. "We're not."

There is a long moment of silence in the dining room as we all look at Brad. I'm shocked. The whole reason I'm here is because he didn't want to tell his parents and he just blurts it out like that? Now I'm even more worried about him than I was before.

"Brad?" Louisa breaks the silence. "What do you mean, honey?"

"What I said, mom. Natalie and I are not getting married. I cheated on her." He looks at me when he says that and I look down at the table. "She's only here because I asked her to."

Now I feel everyone's eyes on me. I keep looking down at the pasta in front of me. What a shame. It looks really good. Now all they're going to remember from this dinner is Brad's confession.

"Oh, Brad." The disappointment in Louisa's voice is as clear as day. There's some sadness in it too.

I think Brad hears it too because he stands up. "I'm gonna-I need to get out of here." He murmurs then turns around. We all stay silent as he walks out the front door then head him drive out in his car.

I finally get the courage to look up at Clint and Louisa. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Natalie." Clint assures me. "If anything, we should be the ones apologizing."

I bite my lip then stand up. "I should leave. Please don't be so hard on Brad." I tell them. "He really cares about your opinion and didn't want to disappoint either of you." I purse my lips. "Excuse me."

I grab my purse and make my way out of the house in silence. It's not until I'm outside that I realize that I don't have a ride to go home. I should have brought my car. I would have if I would have known that Brad was going to do that. I can't believe he told them all just like that. I hope he's safe tonight.

I stand on the sidewalk and cross my arms on my chest. I enjoy the silence for a moment. It's a chilly night. Such an eventful day. So many things have happened. I'm tired. I want to sleep. I decide an Uber is my best option to get home. I'm searching through my purse for my phone when I hear the door open behind me. My body tenses in an instant because I have a very good guess of who it is.

"Hey," Josh says as he stands next to me with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," I say as I unlock my phone. "I forgot Brad was my ride."

"I know. I'll take you home."

"It's okay. I'll just get an Uber."

"Natalie," he says then pauses and waits for me to look up at him. "Let me take you, please."

I can't speak for some reason so I just nod. "I'll go get the keys," he says then makes his way back to the house. I wait outside and try to calm my nerves. I don't know why he makes me so nervous. I don't remember it being like this back in high school. Then again, so many years have passed. We're both different people. He's different.

I don't live far from here. Only about a twenty minute drive. I hope it goes by fast. I don't know why I'm so scared of being alone with Josh. He makes me feel things. Maybe it's just because of what happened the last time we were alone. Maybe if I got answers to my questions, then I will feel better. I hope we can be friends again.

God knows I need a friend right now.