So, I can officially say that Ella and I have put all that stuff with Kara behind us. And now it's Christmas Eve, I'm really excited to be spending it with Remi and Ella.

I mean my mother wasn't exactly thrilled with the news that I wasn't celebrating Christmas with the family.

But I don't care for a month ever since Thanksgiving all she has done is just stir things up with Ella, which I'm tired of I just want to enjoy time with Remi and Ella, without my mother's madness.

Ella invited me to spend Christmas Eve night along with Christmas-day in her guest room, and I'm so grateful that she's letting me celebrate with Remi for the first time and the first Christmas since I found out I'm a dad.

I think in the last few months since the revel of Remi, Ella and I have really found common ground with each other again, even after everything in the past that happened with us.

I think we've grown a lot as people in the time we were apart...Ella has probably grown more than me, I've only recently grown because I learned about Remi and it changed me. When you have a child, you can't be an idiot anymore which I have come to realize.

The truth is in these last few weeks my feelings are also growing for Ella. And I shouldn't be going down that road because it's a messes road, it will just mess everything that we have built so far up, and I don't want to do that.

But the truth is I never really got over her, never fell out of love with her. And learning about Remi, spending this time with her.... with our daughter as a family has only made me love her so more than I thought was possible.

Yet I'm scared to admit that openly because it's just simpler to be Remi's parents separately than being together.

And it's not fair on Ella for me to tell her about my feelings, I've hurt her before and she's still learning to trust me again.

It's just not the right time to tell her that I'm still in love with her, and at this point, I'm not sure if I even should.

Pulling out of my thoughts and looked up at Ella, we currently sat on her living room floor, wrapping Remi's Christmas presents. obliviously I am terrible at it, I've never really had to wrap presents before, but with these being for Remi and my first Christmas as a dad, I wanted to help.

"And I think we're all done and ready for Santa" I hear her say to me with excitement. Feeling a smile on my own face as I watch how happy Ella is.

"Well your way better at this, than I am" I announce to her and give up on the present, that I have been trying to wrap for half an hour, she looks at me and laughs before taking the present for me, simply begins to wrap it like a pro.

"It just takes patience and practice, and I'm just amazing!" She replies with a smirk and then holds the now perfectly wrap present up to me, shaking my head and smiled at her.

"Show off....but you are amazing" I mumbled the last part quietly, with a small laugh, just as we both get up from the floor, reaching for her hand, which she takes instantly as I help her up with a smile.

Placing the presents under the tree, I think I'm more excited about this experience than Christmas itself, my first Christmas being someone's dad, wrapping or... at least trying to wrap presents for my kid.

And setting everything up so it looks like Santa has been here, it's the most amazing thing to do as a parent at Christmas.

"So, what do we do with the cookies?" I ask her with a smirk, just as we finish placing the presents,

Ella looks at me and smiles before walking over to the plate of cookies, by the fireplace where Remi left them for Santa. Then walks back over to me, as we take a seat on the sofa.

"Normally I eat them and leave half a one, so it looks like Santa got full. Remi loves that" She says to me with pure happiness on her face.

Looking down at the plate and grabbed one of the cookies that Ella and Remi baked early, took a bite, before smiling.

"These are really good," I say with a mouthful of sugar cookies; Ella shakes her head with a smile and takes a cookie for herself.

"They really are" She sighs still smiling as she eats, this moment is perfect.

"Best...Christmas...Ever" Locking my eyes onto her beautiful green ones. She puts the half-eaten cookie back on the plate and smiles at me.

"I'm really glad that you're here Scott" Ella announces to me, taking a second to just take in her words, grabbing her hand gently.

"I'm glad too, this being here with you and Remi at Christmas is everything to me," I said with the truth, these last few months with her and Remi I've never been happier.

Nothing else matters than this little family that we've created together, nothing else will ever compare to what we have right now at this moment.

"It's everything to us too" She announces and gives me one last smile, before getting up from the couch and re-locks her gaze onto me.

"I'm going to head to bed, you should too because Remi at Christmas wakes me up before sunrise, so be prepared for that" Ella adds with a small true laugh, feeling my own smile.

"Trust me I'm won't mind one bit...goodnight Ella" I replied to her.

she nods her head. "Night Scott...and Merry Christmas"

And like that she was out of my sight, I'm in trouble because I'm in love with her, and all I want to do is kiss her under the mistletoe, but she doesn't feel that way about me, I don't think she could ever feel that way about ever again.

The worst is I don't know how to move on from Ella, not when we have moments like that, I don't think there will ever be a moment in my life, where I'm not in love with Ella Snow.