One word that everyone loves to hear is CHRISTMAS! Yes, Christmas time is here, after all, it is the Snow-Girls favorite holiday ever!

I mean Remi just loves it, at least until she got old enough to understand it all. She loves decorating the tree, seeing Santa, baking cookies for Santa, watching Christmas movies, she loves everything about it. And I think this year she's more excited because she gets to share it with her dad too.

Speaking of another big Remi/ Scott moment, today he is actually watching her all by himself for the first time since meeting her and as her mother, I will admit it, I am extremely nervous. It's just I've always left Remi with people who know how to look after kids, I'm not saying that Scott can't look after her, or anything like that.

But since finding out he's a dad, he's been the fun parent, sneaking her cookies before dinner, watching movies, playing tea party, he hasn't been there to tell her no and go brush her teeth. Or when she has one of her tantrums, so that's why I'm nervous because when he's with Remi alone he just can't be fun dad, he has to be the adult.

Pulling out of my own worrying thoughts and knocked on Scott's front- door, then smiled down towards Remi, who was bouncing up and down on the spot.

As you can guess, she's really excited to be spending time at Daddy's house.

"There's my girl" I hear a voice exclaimed excitedly, as the door opens, Remi looks at her dad with a massive smile, before I know it, she's in his arms. I swear she is loving being a daddy's girl.

"Morning daddy," she says just as Scott places her back on her feet, then looks down towards her with a smile. It's amazing how close they have become, in such a small frame of time.

"Morning....hey why don't you say bye to your mom, then you can go and play with all the new toys I bought for you yesterday," He says to her, which earns him an even bigger smile from Remi. Remi runs over to me and gives me a quick cuddle and mumbles,

"Bye mommy"

Watching as she runs off before I even have a chance to say anything, shaking my head and threw my eyes back to Scott.

"I really wish you wouldn't spoil her" I firmly said to him.

I get that he's still finding his feet with fatherhood, but I don't want him to give Remi everything she asks for, I've never done that and don't plan on too either. I don't want her growing up, thinking just because her parents can provide deeply for her, means she gets everything she wants; I want her to learn the values of earning what she wants and by doing the hard work.

"I'm sorry I should have talked to you; it's just I was really excited for her to come over to my place. And I have nothing here for a child... I guess I got a little carried away at the toy store" He apologies to me, waving my hands and smiled.

"No, I'm sorry, she's your child too. And eventually, we're going to have split time with her fifty-fifty, as normal co-parents do, so it's good you've got your house ready" I replied, just as my eyes move back to Scott and he smiles too, but I also see something more in his eyes, something like sadness I think.

"Point taken..." He mumbled off just as everything goes silent between us.

I'm confused by his response; doesn't he want Remi half the week? Or at weekends? I mean I'm not sure how co-parenting works, because I've never had to do it before, but I assumed it would work somewhere along those lines.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" I ask him with a concerned tone of voice, she's my daughter, my world I need to know she's going to be looked after. and I know she will be with Scott. But it still doesn't ease the worrying because you never stop worrying when you become a parent.

"We'll be fine I promise Ella... now go to work those Christmas parties aren't going to plan themselves," He says to me with a reassuring smile, nodding my head and sighed, still reluctant to move my feet to leave them.

"Okay, but if anything happens, you have my work number, my personal number, my mom's number's and Amber's number-;" I broke off and breathed.

"Elly... Go, we're good" Scott announces with a smirk and slight but gently moves me back out of the door.

"Fine, I'll pick her up about five-thirty. And tell Remi I love her" I said and gave him one last look with a smile before leaving his front-door way.

Walking back to my car, calming my breaths, Remi will be fine and it will be good for Scott to be a parent to her without me there because eventually, we're going to have to figure out some sort of custody arrangement, I would rather we do it together than go through lawyers, but I think all that can wait until after Christmas, so we can just enjoy this holiday season as a family for the first time.

Sitting at my desk, my eyes focused on my phone. I really hope Scott is okay with Remi and I know that she probably is, but I've messaged him several times with no reply back yet.

And I'm not sure if I should be worried about that or not, but I just keep reminding myself that Scott is her father, he's the best person to be looking after her Right?

"Okay, what is with you? You've been staring at your phone for the last hour" I hear Amber ask me as she walks into my office and takes a seat in front of me.

"Scott has Remi for the first time alone today, and I'm waiting for him to reply to my text" I replied in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, I look up at Amber when I hear a small giggle.

"Is something funny?" I ask with a smirk, Amber is my friend not really an employee to me, so I feel we can actually have a real conversation, without stepping on toes in a workplace.

"Let me guess you're smoothing him with messages," She said, shaking my head for a no because I'm not.

I've sent him two messages and to be on the safe side I even sent an email just with information that he should know about Remi, that's all.

"No...it's just he's never looked after her by himself before... he's only been in her life for a few months, I'm just a little worried and I have the right to be"

"Yes, you do but he's her dad Ella. He needs to find his own feet on how to be a parent, you set the bar pretty high as you're an amazing one" She reassures me.

"It's just weird knowing that my child is with her father, that's now my new reality" I sighed,

which is true in the past I've always had to rely on my mother if something came up. And now if I need help with Remi, instead of calling my mom, I should call her father instead. Which is going to take a little getting used to on my part.

"Yeah about that...how is this going to work between the two of you," Amber asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts and looked at her.

"Honestly, I don't know, and we haven't really talked about it either" I answered,

"Do you think you two could have a future, other than just co-parenting?"

"I don't know Amber, it's complicated. There's a lot of history with Scott-;" I sighed off, collecting my own thoughts for a moment.

"I know that he's changed I can see that, but for now I think we should just focus on Remi and being her parents" I replied with the truth.

I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't had the odd dream about Scott since he came back into my life, because I have. The dream of being a real family, living together, I dream the dreams I dreamt all those years ago when we were a couple, but then I wake up and I'm hit with reality.

That he did leave me, and if it weren't for Amanda hiring me to plan a party, he wouldn't be in my life now, because he wouldn't have come to find me, also I wouldn't have tried to find him either.

I do believe he has changed, he's a better man than he was years ago. Scott has grown up since knowing about Remi, and I'm glad for that...I really am.

But I'm still learning to trust him again, and I think that's going to take a little more time for me to get to that place there with him, regardless of how much I tell myself that I'm no longer heartbroken, the trust is I am because he was the love of my life once.

Now what I feel for him is messes and complicated.