It's been a few weeks since my little conversation with Scott. And I think in some way it's kind of put a lot of things into perspective for me. Which surprised me a little, because originally, I just agreed to meet Scott to get Oliver of my case, but it's helped me more than I thought it would.

When I thought of Scott over the years, I thought he was okay with his decision, because he made it. I always assumed that he was fine, he had everything that he ever wanted.

He was playing pro football, he was a celebrity and his face was in the centre of most scandals magazines, from the looks of it to me over the years he got everything he dreamed of.

But then when I saw him in that coffee-house, he looked lost somehow. And I never thought he would be affected that much about his own decisions. I saw pain and guilt in his eyes, I heard remorse in his voice.

I've tried to convince myself that's his lying, putting on an act for my benefit but I know every part of Scott Vaughan, right down to when he's telling a lie and, in that coffee-house, he wasn't lying to me.

I've spent the last few years, playing the role of being a heartbroken girl. All while trying to justify my reason for keeping Remi away from her father, because it was the right thing to do.

No, though after seeing him like that, hurting from the inside. I'm starting to see that maybe I'm not innocent in any of this. Because yes, he left me and broke my heart, so what!

Everyone in their lives has had their hearts broken by someone they loved and thought loved them back.

I kept his daughter away from him for four and half years, enough near five. Maybe what I did to Scott was so much worse than what he ever did to me.

And there's something that Oliver said to me in my office, that has really stuck with me, affected me in a way it hasn't before.

"He's already missed lots of milestones, are you really going to be the reason he misses anymore?"

Now when Ollie said that, then seeing Scott, it really started to make me think about my own choices about the past. Because Oliver was right, Scott missed it all. The moment I learned we were going to have a daughter, from her birth, her first smile, her first laugh, her first steps, her first word.

He missed 1642.5 days that shaped her into the adorable, amazing little girl she is today.

He is missing all of that is my fault because I couldn't put my pride aside long enough to tell him about our daughter. Or let him make his own choice about being a part of her life or not.

I think about it now, we're in November now, Remi is five in the upcoming February. Which is in three months' time, there are still many more milestones coming in her life.

Scott should have the chance to be a part of them, if he wants to be, I owe him that much now and I think it's just taken the last few months to make me see that.

Pulling out of my thoughts as I hear my phone ringing, who could be calling me at six: thirty in the morning... I thought.

Reaching over and grabbed my phone, sitting up in bed before pressing the answer button.

"Hello," I yarned,

"Hey... Ella...it's......Amber-;" She broke off coughing, sitting up more in response. she sounds terrible, Amber is my PA but more importantly, she's become my friend since knowing her.

"Amber are you okay?" I ask her with concern,

"No, not really......I'm really sorry but I can't make it to work.... for the next few days. I think I've caught the flu .... from my nephew. .... I'm so sorry" She cried over the line.

"No, it's okay. listen I understand, you take as many days off as you need. just let me know when you feeling up to returning to work" I replied with sympathy.

"Thanks, Ella, again I'm sorry to let you down. today of all days" She sighed,

"It's fine, get some rest...I'll see you soon," I said and then we are hanging up.

Shaking my head and threw my phone down at the end of the bed, I feel bad for Amber that she's ill I really do, but today is one of the days that I needed her to run an event by herself, without me for the first time ever.

And that event is Amanda's and Oliver's engagement party, which starts at seven tonight. Everything needs setting up and signing for this afternoon, which was what Amber was supposed to do because it's at the Vaughan's family mansion, in freaking San Diego.

The only people who can sign for the rental equipment, who knows where everything needs to be arranged are me and Amber.

And now she can't oversee any of that, which means in order to save my business I have to do it.

I'm going to have to step in the dragon's lair... I thought to myself.

Trust me the dragon will be there too, I mean there's no way in hell that Valerie isn't going to oversee this party, that's happening in her own home. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, I mean seeing Scott was one thing but his mother. she's a whole other problem, one that I don't want to deal with.

Think Ella.... come to think about it I only need four hours...tops. To set everything up for the party, so maybe I could get Oliver to get his mom out of the house for a few hours.

And believe me, he has to because I don't know how it would end if I and her were in the same room again, one of us just might put the other in the emergency room.

Reaching for my phone and pulled up Oliver's number, and began writing out my text.

Ollie 911 change of plan! Amber is sick and can't set up for the party.

I need a few hours to set it up,

but I need you to keep Valerie away from the house and away from me!

For all our sakes... Please.

Pressing send, hearing the woosh sound. Hopefully, he can keep the she-devil away from me for a few hours, so I can get in then get out, without anyone seeing me there.

I owe it to Amanda and Oliver to give them a great celebration, which I want to do but I can't see that woman ever again in my life, I just can't.

I need this plan to work.