Clara Dr.

Los Angeles, CA

She watched as the seller placed two shoe boxes on the glass table. Sometimes shopping was Sadie's form of therapy. She did this when she couldn't make sense of her thoughts or couldn't tell anyone how she felt.

The woman, pulled back the top of the box revealing an unreleased pair Off White collaboration with Nike. The shoe itself was sky blue with the symbols of off white and the Nike check combining together. She wasn't much of a sneaker head but when she was out shopping, it wasn't nothing she wouldn't buy. "Or we got these" she said, laying the shoe back in the box moving over to the next shoe box. She pulled it back, and pulled out a pair of Air Force Ones but with the Louis Vuitton design covered over them in rainbow colors. "A lady wanted me to hold these for her daughter but when another client comes in with the money—there's no such thing as holding" she told

"I'll take both" Sadie said, watching as the woman smiled that she made a sale. "What about that Balenciaga hoodie" she pointed to it hanging up on the rack.

Clear Pop Up shop was a place people went to get authentic and exclusive gear. Nothing was cheap and if you wanted to buy something out of here you had to come with it. "That's mines" a voice said behind her.

She turned and he smiled from ear to ear. A pile of clothes draped over his arm as he walked closer to her.

"What's good with you" Jay said giving her a side hug.

Sadie hadn't seen him or Brad since she did that podcast. She couldn't help but notice the fresh tattoo he had on his side burn. "Why you trying to steal my hoodie" he joked

"Whoever pockets fatter can have it" the woman cut in

"That would be me" Sadie said causing him to laugh, "how you been" she asked him

"Shit" he rubbed his hand down his waves, "I've been living that's all for real"

"Same here, life can kick your ass and it's nothing you can do about it" she nodded her head. The woman behind the glass table, started to bag up the shoes she wanted.

"Shopping for something special?" She said pointing to the clothes he had draped over his arm

"Oh shit" he said covering his mouth as if he forgot something, "tonight's my twenty-fifth birthday party"

"Happy birthday old man" she said smiling

"Thank you, but I meant to tell Jodie to tell you about it but I guess God work in mysterious ways huh"

"I guess he do,'' Jay nodded as he moved on the side of her to lay his clothes on the glass table.

"Here take my number, you think you can pull up later?"

Sadie wasn't working today and her schedule consisted of her laying in bed and catching up on the series Riverdale. As much as she wanted to go to the party she didn't know if it would be a good idea. Jay was Jodie friend first and after the movie premiere she didn't want to be in the same room as her. She watched as Jay scrolled through his phone, then meeting his eyes back up towards her. She could nicely decline his offer and simply send him a gift in the mail.

The lady behind the table waiting on the two to finish their conversation so she could ring her out. Sadie unsnapped the handle of her purse as she went to retrieve her phone. "323-555-5555" he said , as Sadie French manicure nails pressed every number. "If you can't make it I'll understand, you're a busy woman" he laughed

Once she was finished she looked back up at the Balenciaga hoodie that was hanging above the woman on the rack. "Can I get that for him" she pointed out, "how much"

"No" Jay put his hand out, motioning for the woman to not get on the ladder to retrieve it, "you don't have to buy me nothing Sadie" he told her

She waved him off watching as she pulled it down and started making her way back down the ladder. She flipped the hood over to see the tag.

"1,090" she said simply laying it down to start to fold it.

"Okay I'll take that and the shoes" without looking and reaching for her wallet. Jay stood beside her in disbelief.

She put her card in the chip reader, watching as it said processing and later approved. When she removed it, she put her card back in her wallet. Her boxes of shoes were in a custom brown paper bag as well as the hoodie she bought for Jay. "Happy Birthday again" she said handing it over to him.

"Man" he took it into his hands, "now I have to buy you a Birkin huh" he joked

"Nope get me a Telfar instead" she said as she hugged him before walking towards the door.

As she made her way to her Jeep she thought about Jay's party later tonight. So what if Jodie was going to be there—the two didn't have to speak if it came down too. Cruising down the street her mind couldn't help but wonder off thinking about Stephanie. She was like a breeze of fresh air. She wasn't just beautiful but her whole vibe screamed chill and that's something Sadie needed to be around right now. She knew why she never asked for her number let alone asked her on a date. Relationships just never worked for her and although she was still young and able to experience love—why would she when all people do is let her down.

No one knew how to be a partner these days and she didn't have the patience or the guidance to teach someone how to treat her. The right person would come along and do it without being told too. With Stephanie she saw potential and she wished she could put all her eggs in one basket and see where it takes her but not when she had this longing for Jodie. As much as she wanted to admit her feelings she never want to feel like she's saying fuck how every one else feel just so she can get an happy ending. Beverly was nice to her—nothing but a genuine person, and what did she look like, telling the person Beverly was about to be marrying in a few weeks that she think she would be the perfect fit instead. Who's to say Jodie would agree—and in Sadie's opinion there's nothing like rejection. It was safer and better to keep how she felt to herself. Being with Stephanie made her realize that.

While jamming out to early 2000s r&b she finally approached her townhouse. On the steps she could see Mike, looking down on what look to be his phone. She didn't bother to pull in to the garage just in case she decided to pop out at Jay's party. When the car door slammed, Mike eyes went towards her. His face looked distraught as if he just got told bad news. He stood to his feet, wearing beige pants, a white tee with a brown and green flannel paired with his white and green dunks.

Walking up the pathway with the key to open the door already out she stopped at the first step. "What's wrong with you?" She asked propping her arm on the rail.

He sighed as he slid his phone in his pocket. "You heard Rihanna might be pre-"

"Boy" she shouted then followed by a laugh afterwards. She shook her head as she made her way up the stairs. Twisting the key in the door she was hit with the wall flowers she bought earlier this week. "I'm serious, she having a baby on me" he frowned as he leaned against the wall allowing it to hold his self up as he started to take off his shoes. Sadie did the same, her pink gel toes brushed against her hardwood floors.

"Do I have to tell Ebony" she side eyed him as she started to make her way to the front of the house, Mike waved her off taking off his last shoe and propping it up next to hers. He followed right behind her, "She's my pass" he said, walking over to the kitchen island and taking a sit on the bar stool. "She got Idris Elba and mines is Rihanna" he said with confidence.

"She chose Idris to be her pass out all people" she gagged at the thought. Walking over to her refrigerator, she scanned through looking for the skim milk. When she pushed aside the fruit punch and hi-c she grabbed it and laid it on the counter.

"Aren't you gay?" He raised up a brow, "You don't find men attractive"

Sadie laughed as she stood on her tippy toes to reach for the bowls in the cabinet. "But if I was Idris would not be on my list" she said, stacking them on top of each other and laying them down.

"What cereal?" She asked him, looking over her shoulder waiting on his response. The two did this often, this wasn't new for them—eating cereal late in the afternoon was the best and it was even better at night.

"Gimme them Froot Loop joints" he cheesed like big kid. "Got plans tonight?" He said again

She grabbed the bowls and the cereal walking over to the island and laying everything in front of him. "Might go to a party" she shrugged, pouring the milk into the bowl first. By the way Mike hopped over his seat you would've thought he saw a bug crawling on her or something.

"Whyyy" he whined, "why do you put milk in first"

"You say that like it's directions that come with making cereal" she said, pushing him away from her and continuing to do what she was doing.

"But it is, I swear it is. That's like putting the water first when making kook-aid." She ignored him, as she went to opening the box of Cocoa Puffs.

"Who's party" he asked, pouring the Froot Loops in the bowl.

"Jay's, you remember I did the podcast" she said, shoving the spoon in the cereal, working her way from around him so she could go sit on the couch.

"Oh" was all he said, she looked as he poured his milk and didn't waste no time shoving a mouth full of cereal down his throat.

"It's not like that" she stated, "we bumped into each other today and he invited me"

"I didn't say nothing" he chuckled, deciding on sitting right beside her.

"Yeah but that, 'oh' meant something I'm not stupid"

"I just said oh, why you're so defensive" he gave her a side eye, shoving more cereal in his mouth. Sadie never got the chance to tell Cynthia and Mike about what happened at the premiere and how Jodie was acting towards her. To be real, she didn't want to hear Cynthia mouth and when it came down to Mike she was closer to him but she was sure he was over the Jodie situation as well.

It was best for her to keep it to herself and deal with it later. "Can you come with me?" She asked, giving him a slight pout, watching as he looked over at her and busted into laughter.

"I would but—" he raised up his feet to placed it on her coffee table, "I have a princess tea party I have to attend to later tonight"

She laughed at just how he said it but there was no way she was going to ask him to cancel on his father and daughter quality time. She was going to the party to show love for Jay, even if she was there for an hour at least she came. Mike and her, got comfortable on the couch as she went to Netflix to catch up on Riverdale. The two converse back and forth about what was going on each episode until it was time to call it a night. He said his goodbyes at around eight claiming that if he was late for the tea party, he knew for sure Ebony would have his bed made on the couch. Sadie sat there and watched a couple more episodes before she decided to call it quits. She knew if she wanted to stay for an hour that she had to show up on time.

Making her way to her bathroom, she turned the knob on the shower, watching and listening to the water push through the shower head. This was going to well needed, the hot water brushing against her skin was going to give the therapy her body needed. She pulled a draw open, searching for a lighter to light the two candles she had placed on her bathroom sink both had the scent of sweet apple. Stripping out her clothes layer by layer, she pushed the door slightly so it could leave a crack. Stepping in the hot but steamy shower, her eyes immediately rolled to the back of her head. The burning sensation against her skin brought calmness. This is all she needed and if she could, she would be in here all night.

Twenty minutes went by, and Sadie was now sitting in the edge of her bed savoring her body with cocoa butter. The sweet sounds of India Arie voice played softly from her bedroom speakers. "When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me

Every freckle on my face is where it's suppose to be" she sung as she stood to her feet and started to twirl around the room.

"And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me—My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I'm loving what I see" the words sticking to her like glue. She felt every syllable she said in that song—if it wasn't for India Arie she don't know if she would've been able to say fuck what society thinks and love yourself. While dancing over to her closet, she looked through the different options she had. Tonight she didn't want to make a statement or stand out—she was going for more of a 'hey I'm here but don't bother me' type of look. She decided on a black fitted mini dress combined with her vintage NASCAR styled M&M oversized jacket. The weave in her head was overdue from coming out so she just kept the simple curls that she had.

A little while after getting dress, she stared at herself in the mirror making sure everything was right before she left the house. Her phone laying on the bed, she walked over to it and picked it up, going directly to Jay's number. It was going on ten o'clock and she knew he probably wouldn't hear his phone ringing but it was worth a shot.

On the fourth ring on her end, she finally heard a voice. "Hello" she said, walking to the front of her house, where her keys and purse were going to be.

"Hello" someone said, the voice didn't sound anything like Jay's. Music could be heard playing and people rapping loudly as well, "Hello can you hear me?" Within seconds the call ended.

She brushed it off and decided on sending a text instead that she was on her way. The address he gave her, looked to be a residence place instead of a venue. She closed the front door, turning the key to lock it as she made her way down the steps. Chirping her Jeep, she walked around to the drivers side getting in and pulling out her driveway. Once she was in, she saw an incoming call coming through the car. She pressed the button on the steering wheel to answer.

"Hey Sadie" Jay's voice could be heard through the car speakers. "Brad told me you called"

"Yeah I was just letting you know I'm on my way" she said turning on the right turning signal

"First I get the Balenciaga hoodie and now the supermodel herself Sadie Holman is showing up to my party" she could hear the drunk-ness in his voice.

"Yeah and when I get there I'm going to make sure you drink plenty of water"

He laughed, the phone shifting a little on his end. "Look I'll just see you when I get there" she said knowing he was dying to get back to the party

"Fasho" was all he said as the call ended.

Vibing out to her mixed playlist, Sadie finally made it to her destination. She showed up to a gated community and parked outside the two story house where a few cars and some alongside the neighbors across the street were parked as well. She could hear the music peeping through the house before even getting out the car. When she did, she sighed to herself, already thinking of a story to get her out of here faster than she came. She came up with the idea of stating she an unplanned and unexpected photo shoot she had to attend and couldn't afford to miss it.

Approaching the door, she attempted to knock but instead was faced with a girl who looked pissed. "Yo baby wait" a dude said, rushing behind her. She looked at Sadie for a quick second before moving out the way and leaving out the house. The dude still calling after her as he followed her down the path. Sadie ignored it and walked in, first impressions, the house smelled decent, it was a smell Sadie couldn't describe but it was better than most. The white walls were decorated with jerseys that she knew had to be none other than Jay's. By the time she got to the living room, that's where the real party was—about thirty people had to be here. By the way everyone was gathered together and not destroying or disrespecting his space she knew they had to either be family or close friends.

Her eyes roamed around the room, girls were singing karaoke as they stood on the plush couch while a crowd gathered around them. She could see Jay and Brad and a few others having a conversation not too far. The closer she got the more she noticed they were arguing about who was the best rapper of their generation. "I'm telling you nobody is coming as hard as Lil Baby, the facts are there" Brad said, pointing his hand straight out as he talked. Jay waved him off as well as other dude standing next to him.

"Lil Baby? Durkio is the hottest and it ain't just in Chicago, he good in err'body city" the dude said. Jay brung the beer bottle to his lips to take a swig.

"Fuck nah" Jay scrunched up his face as he turned his head, as soon as he did he saw Sadie not too far. His face light up and he rushed over to her. Embracing her with a hug all while pushing her over to his friends, he held a firm grip on her.

"Sadie these my niggas Damien, James and Alex" he said, they all turned to face her, giving a slight head nod, "you already know Brad bum ass" he stated

Brad smiled, leaning in to give her a side hug. "You want a beer?" He asked, she held her hands out as a form of rejection.

"Nah I'm good trust me, I need to be able to drive back home"

"At least you're responsible" Damien spoke up, disregarding the rest of them who were probably on their fifth bottle by now.

"How about a—"

"HAPPPPPY birthday my nigga" a voice screamed. A few people looked but went on to their business once they noticed it wasn't nobody but Jodie walking in, already tripping over her feet. Sadie looked over her shoulders, locking eyes with her. Jodie face expression showed just what she felt about seeing her here. This wasn't what she wanted or needed tonight.

Jodie slowly but surely made her way to Jay, wrapping her arm over his shoulders. She wasn't even that close to Sadie but she could smell the alcohol escaping her pores. She never seen her this way and she for sure never wanted too again. "How you more drunk than the birthday boy" Alex chimed in, laughing but no one followed suit.

Jay looked uncomfortable but just went along with it. Draping his arm around her waist, to properly hold her up.

"Where yo bitch at!" She blurted, looking directly at Sadie. Brad eyes almost left their sockets by what she just said. The crew stood there in silence, the girls that were singing earlier now moved to the next song which was "Burn" by Usher

"Ayo Jodie you gotta chill" Brad said, only saying what everyone else was thinking. She was so out of it she didn't even realize what she said to Sadie was out of line.

"What" she frown, not taking her attention off of Sadie, "all I asked was where my lil fan at"