Suga arrived yesterday with Tannie. I'm overjoyed that they are here although I deeply miss Zeus. Suga shared several pictures and a cute little video of Tannie and Zeus. While they were terribly cute and funny, I felt sad. Suga seems to be becoming more of a dog and pig person. In the past, they were my animals and the best thing they could do for him was to stay out of his way. His words, not mine. But it appears that those two precious pets have worked their way into even his heart. I chuckle at the thought. I'm excited for Kookie to meet Tannie today, yet I hope it's not too difficult for him with Uno moving away. I think it will be sweet and I hope that they become friends. I know Tannie will easily do his part.

I spent much of yesterday catching up with Suga and petting Tannie. Tannie was as eager to see me as I was to see him. Most of the day he was positioned on my lap. We both were equally clingy.

Suga and I talked a bit about work and things around the house. I asked Suga about his ex, Tawin which he had not one good word to say about him. It seems that Tawin quickly replaced him for a younger hotter version, according to him.

I talked about how things were going with Kookie and me and he nodded with little interest, which was surprising to me. Not even one insult. This is not the Suga I know. However, I did not tell him about my feelings and my plans to ask Kookie to enter into a committed relationship with me. I will do that this morning.

The hotel was able to transfer me into a two-bedroom suite with a small, attached kitchen. We are on the top floor with an amazing ocean view.

I wake, play with Tannie for several minutes and then jump into the shower. Later today Suga and Tannie will meet Kookie. I'm excited for them to finally meet but also excited to see my Kookie.

It's been a few days since we saw each other. Although we talked last night, it isn't enough. I miss our night calls before bed, but I did not want to take time away from Suga.

After returning with Tannie from his morning walk I find Suga up and sitting on the couch looking at several tourist brochures. "Good morning, you're up early," I say as I remove Tannie's leash and watch him run over to greet Suga who pats his head.

"Good morning Tae. I've been looking at these brochures and there are several things that I'd like to see today," he says as I join him on the couch and pull Tannie onto my lap.

"Sure, we can do somethings. You didn't forget that at 4:00 p.m. we're going over to Kookie's home," I say, cautiously looking at him as I wonder if he forgot our plans.

He closes the brochure, leans back and looks over at me.

"No, I did not forget. But do I have to do that today? We have two weeks before Christmas, and that leaves plenty of time, Tae. This is my vacation time and I'd like to have some fun and enjoyment," He says as he picks up the brochure again, and flips through it as I press my lips together tightly.

"What? I told you this before you arrived and mentioned it again yesterday. And why would you think that it's not going to be fun and enjoyment?"

Suga then sighs and leans back into the couch before looking over at me.

"Tae, watching you two dorks make googly eyes at each other all evening and talk about baking cakes is not my idea of fun and far from enjoyable. Nope, I'm not going. I'll pass on that tonight," he says callously.

I bite down on my lower lip as I feel the back of my neck heat up. This is the Suga I know. He's head-strong and can be as resistant as a tough piece of leather when he does not want to do something.

"Suga, this is important to me," I say placing Tannie on the floor and leaning forward as I clasp my hands together in my lap. He raises an eyebrow and then drops the brochure and turns to face me.

"And why is that Tae? Why is he important to you?" He says as his voice lowers.

Maybe I should have told Suga last night about my intentions to ask Kookie to be my boyfriend. His feedback is important, yet I will make my own decision and not be influenced. I'm quite reasonable in most matters however Kookie and I getting so close so fast has me a bit shaken. I'm not questioning what I feel. It's just unexpected but that's how love can be. It's on no one's schedule.

"Suga, Kookie and I have gotten close and–"

"What the hell does that mean? Close?" He says tilting his head to one side as his eyebrows rises in a questioning manner.

"It means, I care about him deeply and I plan to ask him to be my boyfriend," I say looking at him intently as he shakes his head slowly from side to side.

"You're a fool, Tae. It's only been two weeks. What the hell are you thinking?" he says spreading his lips out into a flat line.

I knew Suga would have some objections, however, his high level of irritation with my relationship with Kookie is unexpected.

"Today is officially three weeks since we met," I say as Suga rolls his eyes. "I have feelings for him Suga and I trust them. I'd like your support," I say in a relaxed voice as I monitor my reactivity with him.

"Does he have feelings for you as well? Or have you not gotten that far." He says as he continues to shake his head from side to side which is annoying the fuck out of me.

"No, we have not however, I know he cares about me," I say pushing my chest out feeling confident in what I'm sharing.

"Tae don't be a fool. This is Hollywood bullshit. You are a ratings magnet. They just want to keep you happy until they squeeze every drop of use out of you. Your hottie-in-tight-pants is playing up to you. He's stringing you along. That's how those guys are. Whores for ratings, money, and popularity. They probably are signing a new contract at the start of the new year and need a big ratings push. In fact, I bet he's a big phony. I've read about these things Tae." Suga says confidently as if his opinion is the only one that matters. And that's the end. I keep breathing as I feel my jaw tighten as I try to keep the top on my anger.

I let Suga continue until he is finished because I know he is wrong. I also know he has some legitimate concerns. Yes, it's only been two weeks. And yes, the show is receiving increased ratings since I've been on the show. But he is wrong about Kookie. He is hardworking, sincere, and honest.

"Suga, I'm no fool and I resent you're saying that. I know my heart."

"Your heart! What the fuck Tae? Are you in love with this guy!? C'mon Tae. You're too smart for this," he says again shaking his head more vigorously after calling me stupid.

I tighten my fist as I feel a deep burn in my chest.

"What would you know of love?" I snap. "You never give anyone a chance! You just drag them along. As soon as they want more you push them away with your winning personality," I roar as his eyes widen and he freezes. After a few moments of quiet, he speaks in a softer voice.

"Don't make this about me Tae. You live in that fantasy world you call a brain. Drooling like a baby after something you can never have," he says as I go silent and press back into the couch.

The room is quiet for a few awkward seconds. I swallow hard and comb my fingers through my hair as I pull in a deep breath and then audibly release a long exhale as I recover from that painful comment.

"Is that what you think Suga? Do you think I'm not good enough for him? Is that why you think I'm a fool?"

He lowers his head and says nothing, and I continue.

"I don't agree with that, Suga. I know I'm good enough. He is not above or beneath me. I think you're wrong about Kookie. It would have been nice to have your support, but I don't require it," I say as I stand and walk towards the kitchen area.

"Tae, I'm sorry and yes, you are good enough. I don't trust that he's good enough for you in his penthouse and tight pants," Suga says looking down at his hands. I turn and look at him as he clears his throat and continues to divert his eyes downward. I can tell by Suga posture that my comment hurt him deeply. That's not a thing that's easy to accomplish with Suga because of his thick skin. Nor was that my intention, hurting him.

"Suga, I'm, I'm sorry. I s-should not have said that. It was insensitive and I was-,"

"Right," he says before I could finish my sentence. "When Tawin broke up with me he said I was pathetic. What kind of person says that to another?" He says as I raise my eyebrow because apparently, Suga has not met himself. His words can be sharp and harsh. But I know he has a tough outer shell to protect his soft heart.

"Tawin said the exact same thing. He was tired of me dragging him along without a commitment." He scoffs and then shakes his head. "I shouldn't judge your feelings based on not being able to identify my feelings or trust someone. You think you have found someone, huh?" He says in a quiet voice.

"Yeah, Suga I think I have, and I want you to get to know him," I say returning to the couch and sitting.

"So 4:00 pm, right?"

"Yes Suga, 4:00 pm is correct," I say, with a soft smile.

"I think I might be able to squeeze you in my schedule. Uh, will there be a homecooked meal?" Suga asks with the slow emergence of a partial smile.

"Suga, do you really think Kookie would entertain without a delicious gourmet meal? Of course, there will be a spectacular meal," I say followed by a chuckle as his smile expands.

"I'm in. I have only one request," Suga says as I look over at him raising my eyebrows.

"What's that Suga?"

"Please tell him not to wear those too tight-ass pants."

"Hahahaha!" We both laugh.

"Oh yeah, his older brother Jimin will be there as well. Very nice guy," I say as Suga scrunches up his face.

"Oh God, another dork! God help me," Suga says as he shakes his head.

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