Jimin stayed over last night, and it was a blast. I can't remember the last time that we had so much fun together. We were up until 2:00 am laughing and talking.

We talked about family, our school days, old friends and so much more. My body is tired and I'm grateful to have the next two days off work. Jimin shared more of his feelings with me.

He's decided to take a break from dating. He talked about getting older and focusing on personal goals like starting his own advertising company and traveling. I felt happy hearing him share with me what he wants.

We grew up in a loving home with two loving parents. We were fortunate. Dad passed away when I was 12 and mom a few years ago.

After mom died; Jimin and I drifted apart. We talked and saw each other less. Mom was the glue that kept us close.

The Sunday dinners and holidays with her were precious. It was in our family kitchen that Jimin and I developed a love for cooking. Mom would give us each an apron and a task. The thought of being in the Kitchen with Jimin and mom generates warmth throughout my body.

It's 10:00 am which is terribly late for me when my daily wake-up time 6:00 am. I lay in bed and reach for my phone. I see a message from Tae.

Oh no, I missed his call! I quickly sit up, swinging my legs over the edge. I uncap a bottle of water and take a long swallow and call him.

As his phone rings, I remember his brother Suga and little dog Tannie are arriving today. I feel disappointed as the call goes to voicemail. I want to hear his voice and receive his cheery good morning.

I leave a message saying 'good morning' and that I'm sorry I missed his call. As I disconnect the call, I feel a bit of sadness because I will not see him today. He'll spend the day with his brother.

However, they are coming over tomorrow for drinks and dinner. I'm looking forward to meeting Suga, but I also feel scared. I know he's not a fan of the show.

I gather that he may have some judgments about me and my show just from the way that Tae has said he's not a fan. However, he does enjoy my cooking. Naturally, I care because I have such a deep affection for Taehyung.

Well, I plan to make a spectacular meal that will have him singing my praises. I very much want to make Tae happy therefore, Suga and Tannie are important to me. I smell the delicious scent of French vanilla coffee brewing.

"Mmm, just want I need to get my ass moving." I grab my robe, slip my feet into my slippers, and head to the kitchen.

As I move down the hall, I can smell the heavenly scent of sugar and cinnamon as a smile moves across my face. Oh my god, Jimin is baking homemade cinnamon rolls. Jimin is an amazing pastry maker.

As I enter the kitchen, I see Jimin removing a tray with 6 jumbo cinnamon rolls from my oven. I halt and watch him as I stand by the entranceway. A feeling of sadness washes over me.

I'm overwhelmed by the sweet memory of Jimin, myself, and mom cooking cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. My task was making the sweet sugary glaze topping to drizzle over the rolls; mom would be frying bacon and scrambling eggs, and Jimin would be rolling out his batter as the oven heated. A tear moves down my cheek. I wipe it away, clear my throat and swallow as I move into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Jimin. You're awfully busy this morning," I say with a chuckle. I take a seat at the center island as he turns around with a wide grin.

"Good morning, Kookie. I had to get up and make breakfast because my host appears to be sleeping his lazy ass in," he says with a chuckle.

"Sorry Jimin," I say scratching my tussled head full of hair.

"Looks like you've got everything under control in here," I say as he set two plates down with coffee cups.

"Have a seat Kookie," he says giving me a soft smile. "You served me a delicious dinner and the least I can do is make you a breakfast favorite."

Jimin is right about that. His cinnamon rolls are the best and one of my favorite breakfast foods. I love my sugar.

"Kookie, I had such a good time just hanging out together. It was like the old days. You know, like before mom passed away," he says with a hint of sadness in his voice. I smile softly and swallow back my sadness.

"Yes, Jimin it was great. Just catching up. I'd like to do that more often," I say as he comes over and fills my cup with hot coffee. "Thanks."

"Kookie, then let's do this more often. Let's not keep distant from each other under the excuses of work and busyness of all of life's shit. I want to see my brother more often," he says with an expanding grin as I smile and nod in agreement.

"Where do we start? We already have a date on the calendar for Christmas. Hey, why don't you come and stay over at the Christmas cottage on Christmas Eve?" I say gleefully and softly clapping my hands.

"Oh, you mean that Christmas cottage in the snow-capped mountains where Uno will be running underfoot?" he says with a teasing smile.

"Jimin, please don't tease me. You know how difficult this is for me. We talked about it last night and I'm still conflicted," I say giving him a flat look as I reach for the container of fresh cream and pour a good amount into my coffee followed by two scoops of sugar.

"Sorry, Kookie," he says rubbing my back. "I just could not resist the set-up you provided," he chuckles as he adds a small amount of cream to his coffee and one scoop of sugar.

"Yeah, I did kind of set that up didn't I? Well, it's just so complicated," I say as I bring my coffee to my lips while Jimin brings the pan of hot cinnamon rolls over. I slowly draw in a slow deep whiff and immediately smile.

Jimin takes a seat next to me and then places a warm roll on my plate. I slowly lick my lips as the gooey sugar glaze drips onto my plate. "Yum!"

"Kookie, you're right. The situation is complicated," he says as I pull off a piece of my cinnamon roll and pop it into my mouth.

"Mmm, that is so good Jimin. You know you will have to bake these on Christmas morning," I say as I lean back into my seat and savor the taste closing my eyes.

"Consider it done, Kookie," he says with a relaxed smile.

"Kookie, I understand Namjoon's position. Your brand is at stake not to mention you have a new holiday cookbook that just came out," Jimin says as I experience a fluttery feeling in my belly as he raises points I had not considered.

"I also agree with Jin. You need to stop lying and find a way to protect the show. It's only logical Kookie."

"Yes but I-"

"Kookie, where were your high morals three weeks ago before you met Taehyung?" Jimin says as he cuts into his cinnamon roll with his fork. I take a quick sip of my coffee and look out into the empty space in front of me. I am unable to answer his question because he is right, and I hate it.

"I'm sorry, but if this all was so significant you would have dealt with this a long time ago. You continued to support the lie because it served you and the show," he says as I drop my head a bit and fiddle with the spoon laying on the napkin next to my coffee cup. His face is soft and loving as are his words. Yet they still pierce me.

"Kookie you are a taskmaster like no one else I know. You can organize and arrange the shit out of most things. I've seen you take on big things with intention and get them done. Like your cookbooks and all your endorsed Kooking with Kookie merch. You've built an empire on your brand. You and Namjoon. Do not discount what you both have created," he says as he rubs my arm.

"Look, I get it. It's this fuckin business," Jimin says. "It's brutal for those involved and especially those who are not and happen to love someone that is. Like Taehyung."

"You know I don't bite my tongue," Jimin says as I maintain my lower head position and reluctantly nod to his words. Words that are true and cutting.

"Kookie, you love him, and you want it all to be right, neat and perfect and it is not. Give it some time. I don't know what he would do learning the truth. I suspect that he will embrace you and say he understands. He also might say he can't continue with the show and refuse your Christmas wish," he says.

I feel my stomach turn as a heavy dread comes over me hearing the various possibilities.

"You want complicated?" Jimin says, "Try to explain to your millions of viewers why there will be no Christmas wish. I'm in advertising and that would be a catastrophe. It's all fucking complicated Kookie, but this is the business. While I, personally, don't like the deception with Uno, it was one choice out of a few other equally terrible solutions," Jimin says and gently squeezes my hand as I look up and smile at him with an irritable unsettledness in my belly.

"I will be here to support you through. Kookie, this will all be over after Christmas. You seem to be doing well and he knows you are into him. So, has he tried to seduce you yet? Isn't it hard being around that hot man and not wanting to tear his clothes off?" He says with a giggle as I adjust to the quick shift of topic.

"Jimin, you are too funny, and yes, it is tough," I say with a shy grin as I pull off a piece of my warm cinnamon roll and place it in my mouth. I take another sip of my coffee and turn towards him.

"I thought it was going to happen the other night. But we did go further which was good. You know I need a commitment, no matter how hot he is, and he is scalding hot."

"Tell me what happened, Kookie. And don't leave out anything," Jimin says as I chuckle and place another chewy, delicious piece of the cinnamon roll in my mouth. I moan again in response to the delectable taste. Jimin pulls his chair closer to me.

"Well, Jimin, we started out talking about the show. I got up to get him a drink and when I returned, I started using some of the flirting techniques you gave me. For one, I sat right next to him on the couch, so the distance was very close," I say shyly lifting my coffee cup to my lips but not drinking.

"Ah good, Kookie. Close the proximity. You weren't touching thighs, were you?" Jimin asks as he halts his movement and waits for my response.

"No, I remembered what you said. 'Let him come to me'," I say with a soft smile as if I'm the good pupil being rewarded with praise by the teacher.

Jimin nods encouraging me to continue. "Yes, little brother so far, so good. What did you do next? Remember, it's a subtle game. Especially when you are flirting with someone like Taehyung, who is already as into you as he is," Jimin says as I chuckle with excitement and bring my cup to my lips and sip.

"I then licked my lips slowly, smiled, and tilted my head away from him," I say feeling a growing excitement and giddiness just recounting the recent event.

"Yes! You did the head tilt! Are you sure it was away from him because it makes a difference?" Jimin asks placing his elbows on the table and leaning in closer to me.

"Of course, I did the tilt away from him. I took notes, remember?" I say as my smile grows wide and I beam with confidence.

"Yes, you did. How on earth did I ever forget that?" he says with an eye roll.

"Hey, I saw that. Don't judge me. I got it right, didn't I?" I say.

Jimin bites down on his lip and then sighs as if he is holding back something. I place my cup down and wait to hear his comment which I know is coming because I know that look. He lifts his roll with the gooey topping and takes a bite and reaches for his napkin.

"What is it Jimin? I know that look that means I've made a mistake and you are about to tell me," I say anxiously waiting for him to say something.

"Kookie, you don't have to be perfect here. If you get any of this wrong, you get to redo it and have fun practicing. I'm just afraid with all your focus on structure you might miss the part where you should be having fun. This is a new love. Have some fun with it. Trust me, if you get all uptight, and I know you can go there, Taehyung will feel it too," he says as he licks the gooey sugar drizzle off his fingers and waits for my response.

I clear my throat and look off to the side considering Jimin's comments. Yes, at times I can take my perfectionism too far. This is not the first time that Jimin has cautioned me to relax and just let things flow. Especially, in my personal life. I feel reactive yet I know he is coming from a place of concern and love. I take in a quick breath and then slowly release it with an audible sigh.

"I hear you Jimin. Tae makes me nervous. I don't want to fuck this up. But I trust your coaching here and I will do my best to follow it." He smiles and I continue to tell him all the flirtations I practiced. I share for several minutes and then get to the juicy part.

"Jimin, I touched his thighs several times at varying positions, of course, under the pretense of it being oblivious," I say rolling my eyes as Jimin bursts into laughter. He literally lowers his head to the table and slaps the table with his hand.

"Damn, Kookie you are good. What did he do?" He asks as his eyes and smile expands.

I'm just too eager to tell him the outcome and let him know that I was quite successful.

"Tae just put his drink down and took mine and placed it on the table. He then cupped my chin and kissed me. Oh God, he's the best kisser ever," I say in a heightened voice as Jimin gasps covering his mouth with his hands.

"Jimin, his hands are large and strong, yet his touch is so gentle and caring," I say as Jimin sits frozen hanging onto my every syllable.

"He started to kiss me extra slow and then we got very passionate.

"Like how passionate? Details Kookie, details!" He says with excitement.

"We were, like, eating each other whole. It was so fucking hot and must have gone on for 10 minutes. I don't recall if he pulled me down onto him or I pushed him back and moved on top of him. The next thing I knew is we were grinding our two very hard dicks together," I say as we both scream like two adolescent girls.

"What!? How is he, down there?"

"What!?"

"You know what the fuck I mean. Is his dick big, damnit!?"

"Oh, God! Yes!" We scream again.

"So, he's on top and we're kissing and, sucking. It was hard but he was careful not to mark me. That would be embarrassing having Make-up cover up a hickey or two."

"Kookie, what the fuck do you care? Let them cover you. Relax dammit and enjoy it," Jimin says with a laugh.

"Jimin, I have something to tell you," I say using a quiet voice as I divert my eyes.

"What is that Kookie?" Jimin ask as he leans in slightly as his eyes gleam with excitement.

"You know how I am about no sex without commitment," I state shyly looking off to the side before looking up at him.

"I certainly do," he says with a quick, disapproving eye roll that I caught.

"If he wouldn't have stopped, I would have fucked him." I immediately cover my hands with my face and squeal while Jimin squeals loudly covering his mouth with his hands.

"Oh God Jimin, I never wanted someone's dick so bad," I again cover my face with my hands as I'm overcome with giggling. I have never imagined myself so thirsty and admitting it.

"Jimin, what am I going to do? I'm weak for him and we aren't in a committed relationship. What if I do it?"

"Kookie, please use your words."

"What if I fuck him and it goes wrong?" I say gritting my teeth.

"Kookie, you could get a commitment and it goes wrong. Have you ever heard of divorce? It happens. My point is, relax and have fun."

"Jimin he's coming tomorrow and bringing his brother. The brother doesn't care for my show and I feel scared," I say looking down at my hands.

"What are you talking about? You talk to millions of people almost daily. This is easy shit Kookie, and everyone loves you."

"It doesn't feel easy. Please come over so I won't feel so awkward with the brother judging me."

"Kookie, I don't want to spend my Sunday evening bored watching you and Taehyung giggling and making kissy faces. Before you get upset, I am not talking about Taehyung. He is quite entertaining. I learned a lot about his farming business. It was very interesting. The brother is his partner and I'm sure there will be more about the farming business. Besides, I've got plans," Jimin says rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the last half of his cinnamon roll.

"What plans? You didn't mention you had a date or an event last night when we talked until 2:00 a.m." I say observing his body language for his tell signs of dishonesty. Avoidance and stuttering.

"Kookie, I have t-that uh, t-thing at uh 4 o'clock," he stammers.

"Jimin you're lying," I exclaim furrowing my eyebrows.

"Okay, so there's no 'thing'. Fuck! What time are they coming?"

"At 4:00 pm and Tae's bringing his little dog named Tannie."

"Is he well behaved?" Jimin asks.

"Who, the brother?"

"No Silly, the little dog. I hate when people bring their little dogs and let them run loose all over your place."

"Jimin, I'm sure that will not be an issue. Now I'm excited and it is going to be fun. So, you are coming?" I say with eager anticipation.

"Okay, I'm coming. Stop begging!" Jimin says followed by a slow facepalm and head shake as I smile broadly with an added giggle of excitement.