"Hormones, the telegraph system of the body. Sometime between the ages of 9 and 16, they will start to tell your body to change very fast."

"This movie's rates H, for hurl." Cory said sarcastically.

"Mr. Matthews calm down and watch the film." Feeny told Cory.

"The changes won't all be physical, sometimes you'll feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster. For instance, you may occasionally feel aggressive or weepy."

"Suddenly i'm feeling so vulnerable, Shawn can I have a tissue?" I said looking over at Shawn as he smiled at me. Feeny shushed shushed me and we continued watching the movie.

"Remember girls, you'll get your hormonal telegram we'll ahead of your boy classmates. Be patient while they catch up to you. Eventually everyone hears the morse code of puberty."

"I got your morse code right here." Shawn said as he made a farting noise with his armpit.

Feeny turned on the lights and started lecturing. "This film is meant to help you understand the metamorphosis your bodies will soon be going through."

"Mr. Feeny you use the word metamorphosis like it's a good thing." I say.

"Well what about puberty is so bad to you Ms. Carrillo?"

"Well up until the moment we start puberty, we are completely sane. The world is black and white. There is good and bad. Once you throw hormonal feelings into the mix, then nothing makes sense for the rest of our natural born lives."

Topanga turned to me. "I welcome the changes that will transform me from a caterpillar into a butterfly."

"You say butterfly, I say hairball with wings." Shawn and then laughs with Cory. I kick him from the side of my table and they stop.

"That's a beautiful outlook Ms. Lawerence." Feeny walks up to the front of the room.

"Beautiful? I've seen hormones turn a normal guy's face into Craters R Us." Cory says to Feeny.

"Yes there will be side effects but those, thank goodness, will be the province of your 7th grade teacher."

"If it happens." Corey pointed star Feeny.

"Oh it will happen."

"Maybe, maybe not." Shawn drops his pencil on the floor. "I mean i'm young and i'm fast, I can dodge hormones for days if I have to." The girl sitting on the other side of him picks it up for him and they make eye contact.

Why are they making eye contact?

"I'm gonna stay 12 until i'm 42." Cory continues as Shawn takes his pencil back from the girl while looking at her all google eyed. The girl turns her attention back to the front while Shawn keeps staring at her.

"And Shawn's and Crissy are with me on this the whole way. Right guys?" Cory says confidently.

"I mean i'm in, but Cory I think we lost Shawn."

Cory snaps his head back around to face Shawn and sees he's still looking at the girl on the other side of him. "Shawn?" He tried snapping his fingers to get his attention. "Shawn?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well this is just great."

The boys and I were walking over to the vending machine to get some snacks when the girl from Feeny's class passed by Shawn again. Turns out her name is Hilary.

"Tell me something, How do you ask a girl out?"

Corey took his soda and looked at Shawn. "Simple, you open the door and say get out you're bothering me."

"No, I mean like, on a date?" My eyes wide. at the words that just came out of his mouth. I tried not to act surprised though.

"Oh Shawn Hunter finally went full squish huh?" I say as I grabbed my water.

"No. I just think she's pretty and I wanna see what happens." He said trying to deny what I just said.

"Yup squish."

"Whatever, guys what do I do here?"

Cory turns to him. "Well Eric normally uses the shotgun approach. He just keeps dialing random numbers until he hears the word yes." I cross my arms and look at Cory. "Okay yes, from someone his age." I rolled my eyes and groaned.

"That sounds like a lot of work though." Shawn says.

"Yeah and after all that, what do ya got? A girl. What's the point?"

"Hey!" I say at Cory.

"Ahhh, you don't count."

"And why is that?"

Shawn cut in. "Because you're not girly enough, you play basketball, read comics, and watch monster movies with us. You're practically one of us."

"Fair enough." I uncrossed my arms and walked back towards the table while the boys followed.

"Excuse me." We turn around and see Minkus standing up. "I couldn't help overhearing your pathetic conversation. Perhaps what you two neophytes would like some coaching from a seasoned veteran."

I chuckled. "Minky, honey, with all due respect I think the term 'seasoned veteran' is a bit of an overstatement for a boy who probably got his first kiss from his Aunt Barbra during the family reunion."

"It was Aunt Suzy and it wasn't my fault I turned my head when she went in for a cheek kiss." He defended. "But I actually do know more about women than you may think."

"Okay Minkus, let's pretend for just a minute that i'm actually interested in what you've got to say." Shawn crosses his arms as he said this.

"Well, girls are soft, caring, gentle creatures of nature, yet so complex and mysterious."

"Minkus get a cat." Cory retorted.

Minkus goes into his bag and pulls out a magazine. "Here, my research material."

"Perky Magazine?" Shawn raises his eyebrows and Cory grabbed the magazine.

"Perky tells girls everything they want to know about themselves. Therefore, if we read it, we'll know everything about them too. It's the road map to their very souls."

Cory flips through some of the pages and reads one out loud. "Shaving your legs: how high is high enough?"

I grab the thing from him. "Let me see that." I start reading some of the pages myself. "God what kind of girl actually listens to this stuff. I mean look at this. 'Mascara: use it, don't abuse it.' What is this junk?"

Minkus turns to Shawn. "I see your friends here haven't gotten their telegrams yet."

"Well um. As long as I don't actually have to go to the news stand and buy it, I might as well borrow it for a couple of days."

I saw another bogus article. "Guys with one eyebrow: Whats their problem?" I said in a mocking high pitched voice as I threw the magazine on the table. "This stupid crap is gonna fry my brain."

Hilary walks up to Shawn as I sit down at the table. "Hey Shawn."

Shawn starts to giggle.

"Would you like to go to the movies with me?" She asks.

He starts to giggle while nodding his head yes.

"Great we can meet at my locker after school and my mom will drop us off at the mall. See ya later, terminator." She walked away and Cory and I made gagging noises in unison.

"Oh shut up." He turns to me. "You flirt with Eric like that all the time."

"When I flirt with Eric it is NOTHING like that. Plus Eric knows i'm just messing with him."

"Oh please." He sits down next to Cory and rolls his eyes.

"Cory when have I ever called Eric 'terminator'?"

"Never."

"Exactly my point. And Hunter, were you giggling?"

"I was giggling? I didn't even know what was going on." He starts grinning again. "I'm feeling really weird guys."

"You're scaring me." Cory said concerned as Shawn started giggling again just thinking about it. "Shawn talk to me."

"I can't talk about it. I can laugh about it, but I cannot talk about it."

Oh boy.