RECAP:

finn went quiet, looking past wyatt. wyatt turned, and saw jack standing there, suitcase in hand, giving a small smile, almost looking nervous.

"welcome home." wyatt said, walking over to give jack a quick hug, then leaving jack and finn alone.

"i can go." finn said.

"no, that's okay." jack replied, stopping him before he could get up. "i'm just unpacking my things and getting settled in again."

finn wanted to say so many things. he wanted to yell out and almost cry at how defeated he felt, he wanted to wake up from this nightmare. he wanted to go back to joking about stupid things and cuddling and teasing each other.

but instead finn left jack alone.

jack had been wearing my hoodie, he couldn't help but think as his eyes threatened to spill with tears.

☆゜*・:+* 。 *゜☆

☆゜*・:+* 。 *゜☆

as jack unpacked, finn simply shuffled out fo the room and sat with the others, who were scattered around the living room. jack felt himself frowning as finn left the room, but he tried not to let it get to him. he knew he had hurt finn; he needed to give him time. even if it hurt him just as much.

jack heard a light knock at the door, and was surprised to see sophia come in, giving him a small, reassuring smile, which made jack already feel a million times better.

"welcome back, bubs. how are you feeling?"

"bubs?" jack grinned. "aw, man. you must really feel bad for me."

sophia started to laugh, quickly tickling jack's side, causing him to drop the sweater he was trying to fold and put away.

"no tickling!"

"i'm sorry! and maybe, i do feel a little bad. you haven't been around in days, and finn isn't feeling the best either. what happened?"

jack shrugged, trying to brush her off. he knew he couldn't explain it to her. especially not right now. he couldn't figure out how you were supposed to put pain into words. it wasn't like the time jack fell off the slide on the playground when he was eight and skinned his knee, or the time he accidentally got a black eye during a baseball game; (he had cried for hours.) this pain was more unbearable, more sharp, and definitely more present in his heart.

"i had a talk with finn. i told him that i couldn't do it anymore."

sophia shook her head. jack could see the confusion flash across her face, flash across her pale, sharp eyes, across her light skin and flushed cheeks.

"do what?"

he couldn't answer her. he couldn't even look into her eyes. he knew he would cry, and he didn't want that. he did what he had to do; the right thing. he had to keep things professional, he had to move on.

he knew he loved finn. he just didn't think it would hit him that hard. and he certainly wasn't ready for it.

jack threw the sweater aside, pushing past sophia and going to join the others in the living room. she followed him, her steps just as fast as his the brunettes. the five others looked up as sophia and jack joined them, looking slightly bewildered at the sudden movement.

"does andy want us doing anything?" jack asked quickly, looking at the others. they didn't answer, and he sighed, trying again. "any bonding things?"

chosen shook his head no. "we start our acting exercises tomorrow, remember? he just gave us the day to relax and chill with each other."

"right," jack inhaled, taking a shaky breath. "of course. sorry."

"it's alright? are you good?" jeremy got up, walking over to jack with concern, and as soon as jeremy got up, finn did too. jack just waved him off, nodding.

"no, no, of course. i'm just, it's really warm in here."

"let's make pancakes for supper." sophia said, seemingly out of nowhere, running to the kitchen. jack started laughing, shaking his head.

"what the hell? that was random."

"i'm serious."

"yeah, and i'm a homosexual."

"but you are."

jack simply rolled his eyes at sophia, joining her in the kitchen.

"i'm serious. we can make breakfast for dinner, like we used to. maybe pull an all nighter?" sophia said, her eyes seemingly sparkling. she gave the boys a soft smile, making jack's heart almost sing. she had the softest smile; jack had always admired how beautiful she was.

"we have work tomorrow, yknow." wyatt teased. "i'm not sure if we can stay up all night."

sophia shrugged. "as late as we want to. it'll be like old times."

"i'm so in." jaeden spoke up. "as long as we have blueberries for the pancakes."

"mmm, and whipped cream." jack added.

"chosen? finn? wyatt? jeremy?"

chosen grinned slowly, nodding. wyatt and jeremy did the same, walking over the the rest of the group, and eventually, finn found his way over to the rest of the group as well, reluctantly agreeing to the cooking fiasco.

"last time i made pancakes, i burnt them." he warned, watching as sophia started to pull out the ingredients, mixing them into a big plastic bowl.

"that's okay! now make sure we have maple syrup. you're the canadian here." sophia grinned, starting to laugh as jack broke out in a chorus of 'sorry!'s, and jaeden joined in with his own 'eh!'s.

"i've never said eh in my life!" finn protested.

"you just did." jack said with a straight face, starting to giggle.

"you'll regret that, grazer." before jack knew what was happening, finn dipped his finger into the pancake batter, and quickly booped jack's nose. jack gasped, starting to laugh, and quickly placed his nose against finn's cheek.

"you're so going to regret that!"

sophia yelped as jack stuck his whole hand into the batter, scooping a whole handful and flinging it onto finn. it got in finn's curls, on his light grey t shirt, and on his face; you name it. jack couldn't stop laughing, starting to back up as finn's mouth formed a small 'o', obviously trying to process what happened. he chuckled in disbelief, pushing past sophia (but stopping for a moment to grab a handful of batter) and quickly chasing jack around the apartment, and eventually into the living room, easily cornering jack. he heard sophia complaining about how she had to make batter, and heard jaeden and chosen laughing, but he barely tuned into what they were saying. he could only focus on jack's adorable, small shrieks, and couldn't stop laughing as jack sunk to the floor, trying to catch his breath from running laughing so hard.

finn sat on the floor with jack, quickly grabbing his chubby cheeks with one hand and moving his fingers all around his face, getting the small amount of remaining batter on him. jack wiggled out of finn's grip and beamed up at him.

"gee, thanks, asshole. look what you did!"

"i could say the same to you, princess." finn teased, making jack burst out in laughter, placing his head forward onto finn's chest, starting to squirm a bit more as finn wrapped his arms around jack, getting more batter on his clothes.

"this is your sweater." jack mumbled, sitting up and grinning, locking eyes with finn.

"i never even realized! you little shit." finn poked his side, getting a small giggle out of jack, making the taller boy smile.

"hey, love bugs! why don't you go clean up while we finish these pancakes." sophia called over to them, a dopey smile on her face. "chosen recorded your little race, and it's quite funny. we can watch it while we're eating."

jack went red, shaking his head slightly at sophia. finn seemed to notice his nervousness and quickly stood up, helping jack up as well.

"she's right. let's go clean ourselves up."

the two boys headed to the bathroom, leaving their five other friends behind. wyatt had been helping jaeden with the pancakes, and jeremy and chosen were laughing over the jack and finn pancake war. sophia started setting the table.

"i'll grab some clean shirts for us," finn said, and jack nodded, smiling softly at the boy. as finn left he grabbed two towels from the rack and started running the edges under cold water, jumping up on the sink counter when he was finished. finn entered, placing two shirts next to jack, somewhat flustered. "i didn't know what clothes of yours were clean or dirty, they're kinda scattered- so i just got you one of my shirts."

jack felt that tingly, warm feeling; another almost indescribable feeling. it seemed almost insane how much had happened in one day.

"thanks," he whispered, looking at finn, and then motioning him to come forward for a moment. finn gave him a small smile and stood in front of jack, in between his legs, and close to him, just not exactly touching him. jack grabbed the slightly wet towel next to him and lightly wiping away the pancake batter on finn's face.

"sorry about this." jack giggled, making finn smile.

"it's alright." finn laughed. "i can say the same to you- sorry, i mean."

they stayed silent for a moment, jack gently cleaning finn's face and feeling his heart beat faster as he felt finn's eyes trained on him.

"guess you didn't do great with your boycott, huh."

jack's eyes shot up to finn's, confused.

"what boycott?"

"your boycott against me."

"i don't have a boycott against you, finn. i just- i couldn't keep doing what, whatever it was we were doing."

"why?"

jack paused, placing the cloth down on the counter next to him, only for it to be picked back up by finn, who placed a hand on jack's cheek and started gently cleaning the smaller boy's face, much to jack's surprise.

"i'd rather just settle for being your friend than lose you as something more."

finn looked up at jack as he said that. jack realized finn was leaning against the counter, still facing him, and jack's legs had found their way leaning against finns hips. jack wanted to wrap his legs around finn and hold onto him in that moment, but he felt as if the timing wasn't exactly appropriate. finn continued to stare at him, looking slightly bewildered, and jack just wished he could know what was running through his mind.

but finn didn't even know what was going on inside his own head. all he could smell was the light vanilla scent jack always to seemed to bring with him, and all he could think about was the fact that he had gone months, a year, without kissing jack. the first time he kissed jack, he had tasted like a strawberry fruit roll up and peppermint; he wondered if he still tasted the same.

finn didn't even know what was going on inside his own head as he pressed his lips to jack's.

☆゜*・:+* 。 *゜☆

☆゜*・:+* 。 *゜☆

WOW that was probably such a bad chapter and ALL over the place but i really needed to update. it's so insane that this book hit 50k. 50k?!?8/$; that's crazy. i love u all:') and thanks for reading!

- courtney

oh! follow my instagram: @grazersmulti !