I watched out the window as New Mexico passed by. Chris drove me to the airport, my flight was in a couple hours. Silence filled the car, but I didn't mind. It was a comfortable silence, the kind you get when you're close with someone. The type of silence that tells you, you don't have to hide anymore.

He pulled up to the curb and helped me with my stuff.

"Bye, I'll see you soon." I told him pulling him into a hug. He seemed to engulf me. I tried not to think about how much I enjoyed his embrace. If I did, I would never leave it. I'd realize just how much I like Chris.

"Good luck" He whispered to me, and I smiled.

"Thanks" I almost reached up to kiss him on the cheek, but something stopped me. I know, I know, a kiss on the cheek means just about nothing, but still I couldn't let myself.

I glanced back at him as I made my way through the doors, and he offered me a smile. He had his hands in his pocket and his hat on. I turned around and left. There was something oddly intimate about having him drop me off at the airport. He had become so close to me I didn't know what to do.

I hot off the flight a little disoriented, since I slept most of the flight. I grabbed my luggage, waved a taxi to head home. I walked into my apartment and set everything down. It felt a little weird. I felt like I should be relieved I was at home. I should have felt comfortable, but I stood in my hallway wishing I wasn't there. I was missing something, like I left something in New Mexico. I unpacked and did laundry searching through my stuff to make sure I had everything. It was a silly feeling, and I tried to shake it off. But the feeling sunk down in me and attached itself to me, until I couldn't forget it.

The next morning, I woke up early and headed to work. I was pretty much the only one in the office since it was a Saturday. I prepared even harder for Sony and I cleaned up the office a bit. I answered a few emails, drafted a couple buildings and stared at my clock. It was ten at night when I stopped working o'clock. So that meant it was about six o'clock there. It was too early to talk to him. I hadn't talked to him all day and I wondered if I should keep the streak. Space was never a bad thing. I wasn't really planning on getting close to him. I didn't think we were compatible.

I wanted to smash my head against the desk. I was acting like a love sick puppy. It was ridiculous. I kept myself occupied by calling Crystal instead.

"Hey Lucy! Hows it going! Whitney told me you're back in Boston."

"Yeah I am, and it's a little weird being home." I admitted to her. Crystal and I have been friends since elementary school. I met her when she was eight. She has blonde long wavy hair that we used to call mermaid hair. We couldn't be more opposite looking. I've got dark brown hair and brown eyes, and she has blonde hair and blue eyes. What's even more crazy is when we were little, I was always the smallest in our class and she was always the tallest. Now she's a doctor back home, and I'm in Boston wishing she was here.

I talk to her everyday so of course she knows about Chris, and I'm sure Whitney has filled in what she thinks of him.

"Are you nervous for Monday?" She asked me.

"A little. I don't know, if I don't make the deal it won't be the end of the world. But I really want it."

"I'm sure you'll get it. Whitney told me, she met Chris." Crystal said and I knew she couldn't stay away from the Chris topic.

"Yeah? I'm sure she said some interesting things." I sighed laying down in my bed.

"Yeah, she made it very clear what she thought of him, and some of it was a little vivid."

"Oh yeah, she said that while he was sitting there in front of me and my face was so red. I wanted to die."

"Well, if he's got Whitney all hot and bothered, he must be a looker."

"Please, a golden retriever can get Whitney hot and bothered."

"True. But seriously do you think this will become a thing?"

"I don't know Crystal. I'm not sure I have anything to give. I just feel empty, you know? I'm not sure I can let myself get closer to him. I don't think I want it to become a thing." I confessed and it felt so good to finally tell someone that.

"Lucy, you're a brilliant, beautiful, head strong girl. You can do anything, be anything. You can be with anyone. I know that last few years have been awful, but you can move on. It's what you need to do."

"He took everything Crystal."

"I know, but you can't live in fear. Do you really not want it to develop into something more?"

"I know I can't. But every time I think about getting closer I just flash back. I don't even know if he likes me like that! Crystal I just don't know how we'd work out."

"Well you might have to take a chance."

"I can't Crystal. I don't need him, I'm fine on my own."

"I know you are Luce, but you can want to be with him."

"Wants and needs are different things."

"Yes they are, but sometimes, you need what you want."

"That's what I'm scared of Crystal."

The weekend went by fast since I worked through most of it. My phone rang Sunday night and I stared at the caller ID letting it ring a little longer before I picked it up.

"Hey, I hope it's not too late there but I just wanted to wish you good luck tomorrow."

A smile spread across my face, "It's not too late and thank you Chris."

"How was your day?" I asked

"Fun, a little long. We shot one scene the entire day." Chris' smooth voice filled my ear as I listened about his day. My light was already off in my room as I listened to him talk.

"Sounds tedious."

"It is, but it's fun when you're with your friends. Anthony tried to pull a prank of Seb today. He tried to scare him, and Seb ended up like almost hitting him." He said laughing and I laughed a little too imagining the scene. I sighed missing him. Something in my heart ached, and I tried to ignore it.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" He asked me

"No. Yes."

"I'm sure you'll do great. You always do."

"I hope so. I'm a little jumpy right now. I really want this deal to go through."

"Well, I'll keep talking with you, until you either fall asleep or it becomes the morning." Chris offered making me smile. He kept trying to make me laugh with his stupid dad jokes. Chris and I talked for a couple more hours, we talked about our families, politics, the weather pretty much anything until I fell asleep.

Monday morning came too fast as usual and I dressed a little better than I normally do. I carefully did my hair and makeup before I left for the office. Before walking in the building I took a deep breath and acted like I own the company, which I do.

I greeted Whitney and tried to stay calm as the day painfully went by. The meeting went well, I think I nailed it. The Sony representative said he would get back to us, which could have meant a couple things. It could have meant he already knew he wasn't going to work with us and he wanted to be polite. It could have also meant he honestly didn't know and he needed to talk to the higher ups. I tried to seem optimistic about the whole thing.

"How did it go?" Whitney asked timidly after seeing my face once I came out of the meeting.

"No definite no, and no definite yes." I sighed her sitting back in my desk sighing.

"That's the worse."

"Is there a flight to New Mexico tonight?" I mindlessly asked. I kind of wanted to go back. I missed it like I miss home.

"Probably, but the hotel isn't booked till tomorrow."

"Oh. Whatever, I'm going tomorrow so it doesn't matter."

"You look tired"

"I am, stayed up all night."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Something like that." Whitney left my office as unhappy as I was. I stayed for a little longer and did some more work. I tried to keep my head together, but I just wanted...I don't know what I want.

"Bye Whitney, I'll see you in a little while." I told her leaving the office around four.

"Oh Lucy, I've got something for you." Whitney mentioned and I expected it to be a bill, or some new application that actually looked good. I walked up to her desk and she slid me a plane ticket.

"I couldn't get a new hotel booking, so good luck finding one. I'm sure Mr. Mc-Hotty Pants has a hotel room." She hinted winking at me and a smile spread across my face. I almost reached across the desk to hug her.

"Whitney, you're the best."

"I know it hun! But hurry, the plane leaves at 6:30" I almost ran out of the office and I quickly rushed back to my apartment. I didn't bother changing into something more comfortable. I shoved everything I could find into my suit case and by five I was at the airport.