When Jessie left I started to think. And some say sometimes being left alone with your thoughts is not the best thing.

Did people realize that relationships and working are basically the same thing. I mean if you think about it

getting to know each other. Would be your resumè

Dating would be getting the job

Getting married would be starting your career

And getting a divorce would be getting fired or quitting.

I guess in my case I quit. There's days when I think what if I just forgave him, what if I never met him,what if i never had tyler. There's so much what 'if's' that it's frustrating to think about.

I've only been here for a month and I've had enough drama to start my own show, and I honestly don't need that in my life.

Ugh, then there's Theo, he's a what if that I'm scared of. I mean when he kissed me I felt some thing but then when Jessie kissed me I felt something too. Then my brain started comparing them.

Theo has never hurt me

Jessie has

Theo is so sweet, loving and caring

Jessie was at one point, hopefully he still is

Theo is so great with tyler

And Jessie- well that's my fault, but I know he would be great with tyler.

Ugh this so irritating, I mean it shouldn't be this hard. The answers are all in front me. There all saying pick Theo, that's that's the most rational thing to do. But i just can't get Jessie out of my head. Mostly becuase he's trying so hard.

However he needs to learn that some things can't be forgiven and some things you can't just apologize for and things will get better.

I need to talk to theo. So I decided to call him. God please don't let him answer the phone.

"hello"

Shit, why did he answer

"Hey theo, its Natalia"

"I know I have caller ID" I heard him chuckling

"Haha very funny, anyway i was wondering if you want to come over for lunch, I think we both know we need of talk"

"Yeah, that would be great"

" ok I'll see you at one"

"Ok, love you" Then I heard the phone click.

Wait, wait, WAIT. WHAT

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