Sleeping was not an option that night. Even the pillow that I was sleeping on smelled like a mix between George's shampoo and cologne. He was everywhere, but predominantly in my mind.

I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I panicked like that, cause usually I'm quite the opposite. I mean if the room was burning around me, I'd be the last person to notice and get out. I didn't even know my heart could race like that. Usually, it's so slow that it forgets that it needs to beat in the middle of the night and I have to wake up and punch my chest to fix it.

It could be the fact that I find him too attractive to be comfortable around, or maybe there's something else that my brain is not yet capable of analyzing. But I wouldn't be friends with the person I become around him.

I think it's okay if I don't sleep now. I'll sleep in the morning like I'm used to. At least I thought that would be the case.

Exactly at 8 a.m. when I was finally drifting to sleep, Nick's alarm rang. When I realize that his phone is charging all the way over there, on the other side of the room, and he's unbothered by the sound, I accept my fate and get up to turn it off. I'm not sure why he set an alarm, but I'm guessing it's for something important and I better wake him up.

Exactly a minute from Nick's alarm, another one rings from the other room. Okay, they have something scheduled I think.

"Nick," I tap on the side of the bed, hoping the vibrations will wake him up, "wake up."

How does he sleep like this? Not only he didn't hear the double alarms, he seems completely unaware of my presence too.

I try to go check on George and Clay cause one of them had an alarm set as well, but Nick's phone goes off again. With the way he sleeps, I get why he'd put alarms every 2 minutes.

This time I don't turn it off. I grab the phone and put it right next to his face. He slaps the phone multiple times until eventually, the ringing stops. And a minute later the alarm from the other room rings again. They're so annoying.

"What time is it?" Nick speaks with a sleepy, gruff voice.

"Eight in the morning," I answer.

"Is George up?" His eyes are still closed. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that he's talking to me in his sleep.

"I don't know," I shrug.

"Ten more minutes.." Nick turns around to face the wall.

I'm not his mom and he's not late for school. I'll try to sleep as well. I lie down, close my eyes and immediately hear someone marching to this room.

"Wake the fuck up, I'm going live in 7 minutes, we overslept again!" George throws himself onto his gaming chair, "Nick, I swear to god it's because of this that we're not famous yet!"

I don't know why I found that funny.

"Go stream with Clay.." Nick still sounds sleepy.

"I'd be happy but he doesn't want to.." George states, "okay, get the fuck up, you have 5 minutes!"

I love how they're both ignoring my presence and screaming at each other. I'm happy for George though, he managed to drag Nick out of his bed and send him to the living room, where his setup is.

"Is the cam gonna be on?" I ask, hoping he says no. His nose is bruised, I don't think he wants to have his camera on.

"Yeah, but you can sleep, it's okay," George gives me his signature smile. Well, I was wrong.

As sweet as that is, I think I'm gonna pass.

I get up and decide to go sleep on the couch. But then I see Nick adjusting his camera in the living room and realize that it's not an option as well.

What am I supposed to do? Go kick Clay out of the room and sleep on his bed?

I mean, why not? I'm desperate and it's my room, not his. And he's a dick so I don't even feel bad.

Well, it's the thousandth time I'm wrong today. Once I enter the room and see him hugging the pillow to sleep, I immediately feel bad. And he's barely even taking up space, he's right at the corner of the bed.

He won't care if I take the other corner, right? Yes, I'm so tired that I'm not only willing to sleep on the creaky bed, but also next to Clay. And the room is nice and dark as well, my body is just begging me to give in.

Fuck it, he won't bite.

I carefully sit on the edge of the bed, trying to make the process as quiet as possible. But on the other hand, I doubt he'll wake up from this considering he didn't wake up from the multiple alarms and screams.

I finally find a comfortable position on my my side, my back facing the direction Clay was on. It feels like any minute I'm gonna fall asleep, even the voices of George and Nick streaming in the other rooms don't seem to bother me.

Or maybe not. Maybe I'm destined to stay awake and suffer.

My eyes pop open when the bed creaks. At first I think he just moved, but when Clay rolls to my side and wraps his arm tightly over my body, I hold my breath. While I'm trying to think of a proper way to react, the silence the absence of my breath creates helps me understand his barely intelligible murmur.

"Missed you, Gina."

Gina?

Oh my god. Is that his ex? Holy shit, that is so sad- that is extremely sad.

I feel so bad, I thought he was over her and all there was left was hatred.

The fact that his arm tightens even more after his words and he buries his face in my hair shatters my heart to pieces. It must be hard for him. I don't even know the whole story and can't imagine what he's going through, but fuck, I feel bad.

And what am I supposed to do? Wake him up? Move away? Let him live in his dream for a bit longer? Why do I have to make the important decisions?