sunday

11:14 pm

update yall!! i went to the hospital 🤪 yeah i kinda had a breakdown when school started again then begged my mom to let me go to inpatient like my older sister did. yeah i kinda was just screaming and lowk running away for a good 2-3 hours til we drove as a family to the hospital! best road trip everrr!!

i was in the er overnight and i got to the adolescent mental facility around like 9:26 pm. i had a total of 5 different roommates and one of them was like my best friend for the 5 long days i was there. fuck i miss that place, or at least i fucking miss all the other mentally unstable teens.

after i got discharged i went to this day program at the same place but different area. that lasted like 3 weeks and i met a lot of other kids too. i now know several healthy coping skills and other psychology stuff lol. not that i am any good at applying it.

i can feel myself getting better, but it's weird. a part of me doesn't want to be better, if anything i think i want to get worse again. i cant seem to pity myself anymore. i sleep and i dont care about school anymore so i dont know how that really affects me but it doesn't seem to be being super effective at making me feel like crap.

i dont know what to say. its just weird ig.