《diagnosed》june 10, 2019
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monday
9:15 pm
my summer vacation has started.
i kinda stopped taking my meds and i just take them when i feel like it or something. on reddit people were saying that its going to make me end up back in inpatient but oops. i got my study books for my proficiency exam so i can leave high school next school year. and apparently TIL i have shitty grammar and verb tense.
i keep sh-ing and i bought blades which is even more bad bc i havent even ran out. im feeling worthless and like im regressing to pre hospital me. i dont like being dependent on medicine.
STUPID FUCKING ILLNESS I HATE DEPRESSION shit im crying now
ive been crying a lot more often lately which is like an even bigger sign that i regressing or whatever. its starting to hurt again being alive
i dont want to be able to feel
i hate this
fuck.
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