It was Friday night, and Izzy and Donna were up in Izzy's bedroom. Izzy was folding her laundry and Donna had picked out a Cosmo magazine to read while laying on the bed.

"You know, Cosmo's really going downhill." Donna said. "I mean, look at this section: 'Why Nice Guys Finish Last--a woman's need for a man who dominates, protects, and occasionally mistreats her.' Isn't that disgusting?"

"Barf. I don't know one girl who seeks out being mistreated."

"I know! Who wakes up thinking, 'Ooh, I really hope I suffer today!"

Izzy laughed. She picked up a pair of jeans out of her laundry basket and started to fold them, seeing a small piece of paper stick out of the pocket. She took it out, unfolding it. "Oh my god."

"What is that?"

"The uh... when I went to that bar with the guys, you know after Bernice... I kinda started talking to the bartender there. He gave me his number."

"Ew!"

"No! He's not like a creepy old bartender! I think he said he's in college somewhere around here."

"Are you gonna call him?"

Izzy was already picking up the phone. "Way ahead of you."

Donna laughed. "Okay, then I'm gonna head home. I don't want to be around to see you try and flirt, I already see that enough with Hyde."

"What? Ew, what? Donna, I-" Izzy stopped. "Nick! Hi, it's Izzy. We met at your bar a little bit ago?"

-

The next morning at breakfast, Izzy was dancing around with plates of food as everyone ate. Izzy always made breakfast on Saturday mornings, it was a good way to get her to keep her mind occupied on the weekends.

"What are you so cheery about, Isabelle?"

Izzy came over and kissed her father's cheek. "Nothing, Daddy." She set down a plate of waffles on the table.

"Hey, thanks, Izzy Bee." Hyde said with a wide grin. "You know, we never had waffles at my house. My mom always said that a waffle iron was a luxury. Like, um, pillowcase. Or not getting hit." Everyone shared a concerned look. "Man, this is so cool!"

"Don't worry about it, Steven. See, Eric? I told you I'm cool."

"Eric, did you tell your sister that she's not cool?" Kitty asked.

"What? Well, I mean-"

"Stop telling your sister she's not cool!" Red said.

"Yeah, stop telling Izzy Bee she's not cool." Hyde said with a crooked grin as Izzy sat down across from him,

"Fine, Izzy. You're super fly."

"Thanks, idiot."

"Don't call Eric an idiot!" Red said.

"Steven," Kitty said, getting up. "Would you like maple syrup or blueberry syrup?"

Hyde looked up, confused. "You have syrup?" Kitty just laughed and went to get both. "Man, I love it here!"

"And we love having you here, man!" Eric said, his mouth full with food. "You're like the brother I never had. I mean I have sisters, but I hate Laurie, and Izzy's such a girl."

"Glad you noticed." Izzy said, giggling.

"Eric," Red said, "after breakfast I want you to rake the yard."

"Rake? But, Dad, I was gonna-"

"I'll do it." Hyde said with a shrug.

"Okay, Steven!"

"Oh my god. I love my new brother!" Eric cheered.

-

In the basement, Donna and Eric were eating Pop Rocks and watching McHale's Navy. They were cut short from their makeout session, though, when Izzy and Hyde came out the stairs with books and binders.

"Hey take it outside, I've gotta do my homework here, Frenchie." Hyde said, sitting in his chair. Izzy sat on the couch next to Donna, who immediately broke off of Eric awkwardly.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Eric said. "Now get out."

"No, Eric, he's serious. Mom found out he failed a test." Izzy explained.

"Did she yell at you?" Donna asked.

"No." Hyde paused. "But she said she was really disappointed. And then before I knew what I was doing, I told her I'd try harder."

Donna tried to hide her laughter. "No!"

"Yep. Now I've gotta tutor him." Izzy opened her binder and pulled out some notes.

Kitty came down the stairs, holding two plates with sandwiches on them. "Here, you two. I brought you some sandwiches to help you study."

"Ah, thanks Mrs. Forman."

"Thanks Mama."

"Eric, Steven and Isabelle are studying, don't bother them. Why don't you and Donna go up to your bedroom?"

Eric and Donna shared a look. "Okay!" Eric said, the two of them racing upstairs.

Kitty ran to block them. "I mean no! No. Bad idea. Just go outside, to a well-lit, supervised area and talk politely like decent young adults."

"Gee whizz, that sounds super, Mom!" Eric said as he and Donna left, followed by Kitty.

"Damn, you're really becoming the favorite around here, aren't you?" Izzy said, laughing.

"Don't worry, you're still their baby." Hyde said in a mocking voice.

"Oh, I'm not worried. I know I'm the favorite kid. You'll just be the favorite boy."

"Well that's not too hard when my only competition's Forman."

"You can say that again." Izzy paused. "Hey, can you tell my dad I'll be at Jackie's for dinner tomorrow?"

"Yeah, 'course. Why don't you just tell him?"

"Uh... kinda want to dip out early."

"That's suspicious."

"Please, Steven?"

"Izzy Bee, I already said yes. Now c'mon, let's study."

-

The next night, Izzy was sitting on her bed, talking to Jackie on the phone.

"So when's Nick picking you up?" Jackie asked.

"Like ten minutes, I think."

"Ohh, I can't believe you'll be going on your very first date! That's so cute."

"Well, just... don't tell anyone, okay? You and Donna are the only ones that know."

"Wait, what? Why aren't you telling anyone? Nick sounds hot. And he's a bartender? I'd be showing him off to every-"

"I just know Eric will make a big deal about it. And so will my parents. I don't want to tell them about anything until I know it's not just one failed date."

"Well okay. My lips are sealed."

"Thanks, Jackie." Izzy looked outside her window and saw Nick's car parked outside. "Holy shit, is that a Chevrolet? Jackie, I gotta go before Daddy sees his car."

"Okay. Have fun!"

Izzy hung up the phone and jumped up from her bed. She quickly looked in the mirror to make sure her curls hadn't fallen and her new black dress wasn't wrinkled. She grabbed her little purse and practically ran downstairs.

-

"Woah, Izzy Bee, what're you all dressed up for?" Hyde asked, vacuuming the carpet in the living room.

"Uh... Jackie's enforcing a dress code at dinner tonight."

He chuckled. "Typical Jackie."

"Yeah. Typical Jackie!" Izzy laughed nervously and ran into the kitchen, thankful that no one was in there.

She walked out to the car, seeing that Nick was standing outside it and leaning against the passenger door. "Hey." She said with a smile.

"Wow. You're gorgeous." Izzy felt her cheeks get bright red. She glanced behind her to make sure no one was seeing this. She knew this was risky, having him pick her up right outside her house, but thankfully her parents and Hyde were all busy, and Eric was off with Donna.

He cleared his throat. "Wanna get going?"

"Yes. Please."

He opened the passenger door for her, and she got in, admiring the upholstery. "Your car is beautiful." She said as he sat in the driver's seat and started the car up.

"Ah, you like it? It's a Chevy-"

"Monte Carlo."

"Oh, you a car girl?"

She laughed. "My dad is."

"Your dad's a car girl?" He said with a lopsided smile.

"Mm, something like that." He laughed.

-

Izzy was surprised.

She had a really great time with Nick. He took her to a fancy restaurant, the same one Eric and Donna had gone to on their first date. She told him the story of Donna and the Long Island iced tea, and they laughed about it.

"Didn't I serve you one of those when you came into the bar?"

Izzy laughed. "Yeah."

"Maybe it's a sign, hm?"

"Maybe." She paused. "You know I'm only seventeen, right?"

He chuckled. "I could kinda tell. Your whole friend group only had one ID, and that scrawny kid definitely isn't eighteen."

"That's actually my twin brother."

Nick's face paled. "Oh. I, uh. I didn't-"

"My very scrawny twin brother. It's so unfair that he's technically older than me."

-

They talked about their schools.

"Yeah, I go to, uh, Marquette." Izzy raised her eyebrows. Marquette was fancy. Private school. Very expensive.

"I've always wanted to visit Milwaukee."

"There's really nothing there."

Izzy shrugged. "There's nothing here either. What do you study?"

"Psychology. I like learning what makes people act the way they do."

-

Izzy told him all about her friends.

"And then there's Jackie and Kelso, who've been dating for a couple years. Jackie's really self-centered, and Kelso's really dumb. But I love 'em. One time Kelso and my dad reprogrammed their Pong game to get them smaller paddles to play with."

Nick's eyes widened. "Oh, I gotta learn how to do that!"

-

And Izzy told him all about Hyde.

"He and Donna are basically my best friends. He's like this stupidly angry, rebellious, wise-cracking..." she paused. "But the thing is, he's like super smart! I was studying with him yesterday, and he got everything right before I did."

"Does he just not apply himself?"

"Exactly. But he has so much potential, and I just- ugh!"

-

By the end of the night, Izzy and Nick were talking like old friends. She learned all about his family; his sister was a year younger than him and turned out to be friends with Laurie at UW. His dad was a contract litigator, and his mom was a model when they first met.

His life was perfect.

-

On their way back to Izzy's house, they were blasting Bowie's Station to Station album and singing along at the top of their lungs. When Nick pulled up to Izzy's house, she prayed the rest of her family was still inside. She breathed a sigh of relief when the only person she saw outside was Donna, reading a book on her front porch.

Nick got out and went around to the passenger door, opening it for Izzy as she got out. "I wish I could walk you to your door." He said with a smile.

"I do too. Thank you for being so... understanding. About me not wanting to tell my folks right away."

"Of course." He put his hand on Izzy's cheek. "I had a really fun night."

"I did too."

He leaned in, and Izzy closed her eyes as she felt his lips press up against her own. So this is what kissing is like, she thought. Why am I so aware of my nose right now? Oh god, what if my nose pokes him in the eye and he goes blind forever and it's all my fault and then-

He pulled away, smiling. She reached up and wiped a little bit of lip gloss from his mouth. "Good night, Izzy."

"Good night."

Izzy stood on the sidewalk in front of her house and watched as he drove away.

"Oh my god!" Izzy jumped, seeing Donna run up to her.

"Donna, hi."

"He's gorgeous! Had Red seen his car yet?"

"No! I'm not telling anyone yet."

"Oh, right. Right. But oh my god!"

"I know!!" Izzy exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. "He's perfect. Literally. In every way."

"So he's a bartender? Does he know you're only seventeen?"

"Yeah," Izzy laughed, "he's two years older than us."

"Ooh, an older man."

"Shut up!"

-

A few days later, the girls were all sitting in the basement. "So my parents are fighting, like, all the time. And they want me to choose sides. But I can't choose a side because they're both idiots!" Donna said.

"I don't know," Donna continued. "I mean, I really think they're gonna get a divorce."

"Oh my god Donna, I'm so sorry." Jackie said.

Izzy nodded. "Yeah, if there's anything you need let me know. You can always crash in my room whenever."

"But you know what?" Jackie asked. "This very thing happened to a good friend of mine, and now she has twice as much stuff, twice as much clothes, and her parents even fought over who got to buy her a car!"

"I mean, you're right Jackie. This whole divorce thing could actually work to my advantage!" Donna said sarcastically.

"Exactly!"

"Yeah! I just have to make it very clear that my love is contingent on how much they buy me!"

"Why am I even talking to you about this?" Jackie said, patting Donna on the shoulder. "You have a great handle on it!" Jackie jumped up and left the room.

Donna groaned and fell back against the couch.

"Sorry about her, Donna. Seriously, if there's anything you need just let me know."

"Thanks Izzy." Donna paused. "God, when did Jackie lose her soul?"

"Cheerleading camp."

-

Izzy climbed up the stairs and went into the kitchen to see Kelso and Fez sitting at the counter, Eric leaning against the wall, and Hyde scrubbing the dishes.

"Hey Steven, you need any help?" Izzy asked.

"Nah man, it's alright." Izzy ignored his response and picked up a towel, starting to dry the dishes he had cleaned.

"Ooh, look at the old married couple." Kelso said, laughing.

"Hey, shut up man." Hyde said, pointing at him with the scrubber.

"So, pretty tough with that scrubber in your hand, huh?" Fez asked, making all the boys laugh.

"Ignore them, Izzy Bee. They've been dicks all day about me doing chores."

"Well Hyde, Red and Kitty aren't even here." Eric said with a shit-eating grin. "I mean, you're kissing phantom butt."

Hyde dropped the scrubber and turned to face Eric, a sarcastic smile on his face. "You know what, Forman? I used to think Red was a real hardass, but after doing your chores for the last five days, I've come to the conclusion that you're just a lazy, spoiled brat."

Kelso and Fez looked at each other and whispered, "Oooh."

"Alice never talked like that!" Fez said, making Hyde laugh.

"Hey, hey that's not fair!" Eric said. "You've been doing them for five days, try sixteen years, man!"

"Mom, Dad, please don't fight." Izzy said sarcastically, sitting on top of the counter to watch.

Hyde shrugged, going back to cleaning the dishes and handing them to Izzy to dry. "You know, I guess I'm just grateful."

"Well stop it! You're makin' me look bad."

Kelso snickered. "Plus, you've become, like, a total drag to hang out with."

"Hey, whatever happened to the psychotic troublemaker we all know and love?"

"Eric, don't."

"No, hold on Izzy. Hyde, put down the dishes and start doing something stupid and senseless right now!"

"Forman, I'm a guest here."

"Wh- I- Then fine!" Eric continued to stammer. "I guess I will have to do something stupid."

Kelso immediately jumped-slash-fell out of his chair. "Hey, hey! I know something stupid we can do! You got a bowling ball?!"

"What?"

-

Eric was standing on the ledge behind the couch, waiting for Kelso to hand him the bowling ball.

"Don't be such a baby, Hyde. We just wanna see how high it'll bounce!" Kelso explained. "Nothing bad can happen."

"Okay. Forman, man, think. You are listening to Kelso."

"Steven's right, Eric. Don't be stupid."

"Wait, wait, wait. Now you two are telling me what to do?!" Eric complained.

Izzy shrugged. "Eric I always tell you what to do."

"Enough talk!" Fez yelled. "Do it!"

Eric took the bowling ball and lifted it high, dropping it on the couch. Everyone watched in horror--or smugness, if you were Hyde--as the ball bounced off the couch and went right into the television.

Eric's jaw dropped. Fez's smile faded. Izzy let out a whimpering noise and clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Oh..." Kelso said quietly. "See, I never even thought of that." He sighed. "Later." Kelso ran out of the house, followed quickly by Fez, then Jackie and Donna, who had come up to see what the boys were doing.

"Ah, maybe they won't notice." Hyde said, heading upstairs. Izzy followed him, leaving Eric standing on the ledge, absolute terror in his eyes.

-

Red, Kitty, Eric, Hyde, and Izzy all stood around the television, or rather what was left of the television.

"Why would you drop a bowling ball on the couch?" Red asked. "What good could come of it?" Before Eric could reply, Red just held up a hand. "Eric. I don't want to hear any more of your dumbass excuses. This is the most irresponsible, idiotic thing you have ever done!"

"Actually Red, I did it." Hyde said. Everyone looked at Hyde, eyes wide.

"You?"

"No, no, no, Dad. Hyde's just covering for me. I did it."

"Forman, stop. Red, it was me, okay?"

"No, it was me!"

"No, Daddy." Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "It was me." The two boys looked at Izzy. "They're just trying to cover for me, but I did it."

"Really, Isabelle?"

"No, Red!"

"Dad no."

"Yes! It was me!"

"Izzy Bee-"

"Izzy, I-"

"Shut up!" Red yelled. "Isabelle. Tell the truth, did you do this?" Izzy nodded, not saying a word.

"I'll get a job and pay for a new one, promise."

"Yeah, you will. And these two boneheads are gonna help you pay." Red said. "Now go up to your rooms."

-

The three kids went upstairs without a word. Izzy headed straight for her room, followed by Hyde and Eric.

"What the hell was that, Izzy?!" Eric yelled, frustrated.

"Yeah, seriously! That was really stupid of you to-"

"I'm just trying to cover for you assholes." Izzy said. The two boys stopped talking real quick. "I hate it when Red yells at you and I figured I could actually save your asses this time. Or at least parts of them."

Hyde sighed. "Great. Now I feel like an asshole."

"Because you are an asshole. Asshole."

"Hey, can we please stop saying asshole?" Eric pleaded. "Really though Izzy. Thanks."

"Oh don't thank me just yet. Red's gonna want a damn nice television, and we're gonna get that for him." Just then, Izzy's phone rang. She went and picked it up, thanking her lucky stars that Red and Kitty agreed to getting her her own line. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Nick. How are you?"

Izzy put a hand over the receiver. "Good night, guys." Izzy watched as the boys left her room before she turned back to the phone. "Sorry. Hi."