《that's life » s. hyde》[02] the birthday
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It was the week of Eric and Izzy's birthday, and they were already anticipating their mother's inevitable surprise party. She held one every year for them, despite their continuous complaints.
The gang was all zoning out in the basement, eyes lazily watching Petticoat Junction on the television.
"Does it bother anyone that these women live in Hooterville?" Hyde mumbled.
Eric sat back in his seat. "Technically Petticoat Junction is just down the track from Hooterville."
"Ok, does it bother anyone that they live just down the track from Hooterville?" Hyde corrected.
"It bothers me that they bathe in the town water tank." Donna said.
Kelso looked disturbed. "With the dog."
"It isn't the drinking water, it is the water for the train." Jackie said.
"It's still three naked women with a dog." Izzy sighed.
Fez grinned. "I want to be the Hooterville dog."
"Yoo-hoo! Coming down!" There was a shrill voice from upstairs, and within seconds Kitty came down with a basket full of laundry. "Now don't mind me, I'm just putting some clothes in."
She held up a light green dress that had beautifully dainty white flowers embroidered all over it. Izzy grimaced. Kitty had gotten her that dress at Christmastime, but the chest was far too tight on Izzy for it to ever have been worn. "Izzy, honey, I thought you could wear this on your birthday! It's beautiful, and there's no paint on it! You'd look so nice in it. Maybe with a white ribbon in your hair?"
Eric gave his mother a knowing smile. "Why would she want to dress nice on our birthday?"
"It's your birthday?" Hyde asked Izzy, who just shrugged.
Kitty waved off her son's remark. "Oh, you never know what's going to happen on your birthday."
"Mom. Mom, do not throw a party for us." Eric said, getting up and walking over to her mother.
"Yeah, really Mom!" Izzy agreed, joining her brother. "We'd be happy with just a cute 'lil breakfast." Eric elbowed her. "Ow!" He raised his eyebrows at her. "Oh! And presents."
Kitty looked between the two of them. "Oh, well listen to Mr. and Ms. Popularity! Like I have time to plan you a party!" She laughed nervously. "Oh um, by the way, your sister Laurie is coming home from college for the weekend." Eric opened his mouth in protest, but was cut off. "No special reason, she just is!" And with that, Kitty ran back upstairs.
Donna smiled. "Well, you're getting a party, and best of all it's a surprise!"
Izzy groaned and went to sit by Hyde's feet. He nudged her with his knee, making her look up. "Hey. Wear the dress."
-
The next morning, Izzy sat at the table, reading the paper with Red. Every few minutes they would swap comments about the dow, or a baseball team, or even an obituary, like two old men in a nursing home.
Eric entered, rubbing his eyes. "Morning."
He headed towards the fridge, but Kitty rushed over and closed it before he could look inside, saying, "Nuh-uh! I'll get it!"
This happened several times over, before Eric stopped. "Did I just see about seven bags of potato chips in that cabinet?"
Kitty shook her head. "They were on sale."
"She's throwing us a party." Izzy said, taking a sip of coffee.
"Please don't throw us a party!"
Kitty sat at the table. "I'm not throwing a party."
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"Don't give 'em one." Red grumbled.
"I'm not!"
"Too old for a surprise party."
"I'm agreeing with you!"
Eric and his sister shared a look, and he came down and sat next to her. "Look, we know money's tight. So... please, no big birthday."
Red finally put down the newspaper. "I'll decide when money's tight." He sighed. "Now, what kind of gift do you want? Don't worry about the cost. As long as it's reasonable."
Izzy's eyes widened. "Can I get the new Wings at the Speed of Sound album? I've been dying to hear it ever since it came out."
"Ooh, that's that cute boy from the Beatles, right?" Kitty asked, smiling.
"Yes, Ma. He's from the Beatles. But I don't want a Beatles album, this is Paul McCartney and Wings."
"I- I would like a cassette player for the car." Eric said. "A cassette, not an eight-track. No eight-track. Ok?"
"You know, I don't know why they don't just put record players in cars." Kitty said.
"The point is, I don't want an eight-track tape player."
"And I don't want another Beatles album duplicate! I have them all already!" Izzy piped in.
Red opened his newspaper back up. "We've got it. Eric, you'll get a Delco. A genuine GM part for your genuine GM car."
"It doesn't have to be a Delco, Dad, it's just for music."
"Oh, now see, now there's your first mistake. Parts have to be compatible. Eric. You're not burning cheap gas in that car, are you?"
"No, sir." Eric paused. "Well, I'm going out!"
"And I'm coming with!" Izzy said quickly.
"Oh, good," Kitty said, getting up as well to hand Eric a note. "I want you to run to the store for me. Get a large can of frosting and fifteen small bags of M&M's. Plain! Not peanut!" Eric stared at her. "They're for your sister."
Eric looked at Izzy, with an eyebrow raised. "Not me, dude." She said, grabbing her jacket.
"If they're not for the party-"
"And they're not!" Kitty confirmed.
"That means they're for..." Eric paused. "The other one."
-
"Laurie!" Izzy exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen later that day.
Laurie hugged her back tightly. "What's up, baby sister?" She said, ruffling Izzy's hair.
Laurie and Izzy never got along growing up. They were always bickering, and Eric was always the mediator. Then, when Laurie went off to college, their whole dynamic changed. Izzy and Eric were always close and that never changed, but Izzy started talking to Laurie on the phone more often. As Laurie got... well, let's say around, Eric lost his patience with her tendencies. Then, it turned into Eric and Laurie always at each other's throats, with Izzy trying (and sometimes failing) to stay neutral.
"What're you doing here?" Izzy asked, as Laurie jumped to sit on the counter.
"Why do you think? Mom's throwing you two a party."
"Well duh, but I thought-"
"Hey, where's the twerpy twin?" She smiled slyly. "I thought you two still go everywhere together. You know, like in kindergarten."
"Probably at Donna's house. If he's not with me, he's usually over there these days."
Laurie's eyes widened. "Oh?!" She leaned forward. "You can't just say something like that and not spill everything!"
So the two sisters went up to Izzy's room and they talked and gossiped and laughed, until Red yelled at them to come down for dinner.
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-
"So," Red said at dinner, attempting to make small talk with Laurie. "How's your friend Janice?"
"Pregnant." Laurie said, taking a bite.
Kitty clicked her tongue. "Oh, she was such a nice girl, how would that happen?"
Eric shrugged. "Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall-"
"Eric, for God sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear!" Red said.
"Daddy, I think we all know what a fallopian tube is." Izzy said, her mouth full of mashed potato.
Kitty shook her head. "Well, I just don't like my little boy bandying those words about." She leaned over and wiped the corner of his mouth. "You're still my baby, Eric!"
"Thanks, Mom."
-
The evening of their birthday, everyone was sitting in the basement. They were all in nice clothes, sitting very stiffly. Eric was sitting in Hyde's chair, and Izzy was on the armrest nearest him. The twins looked at everyone else, knowing exactly what was going on.
"Look, we know what you're all doing here." Eric said.
"You guys are really bad at acting normal." Izzy agreed.
Kelso didn't move his head, but looked at Eric out of the corner of his eye. "What are you talking about, man? We're just hanging out. E- Except we're dressed nice, but that doesn't mean anything!"
They continued to sit in silence until Kitty came down the stairs. "Hi, kids! Um- I need your help with something. Jackie, Donna, Michael, Steven..." she paused before adding, "young man with the accent, could you give me a hand?" She pointed at the twins. "Not you two!"
The five of them got up to go upstairs. When they got through the door, Eric and Izzy could hear what could only be described as a herd of buffaloes running around above them.
Izzy glanced over at the basement door. "We can still run, you know."
"Fatso Burger?"
"Yes please."
The two quickly got up, but were stopped when they opened the door and Red was standing right there. "No." Red said simply, his arms crossed.
"But I-" Eric started.
Red shook his head. "No. No sir."
Kitty then came back downstairs. "Eric? Isabelle? Kids, could you come up here for a second?" She scurried back upstairs, and the twins could clearly hear her yell, "Shut up, they're coming!"
The twins shared a look, sighed, and started to trudge upstairs. Izzy smoothed out the green dress she was wearing as she walked.
-
When it was time for presents, Izzy and Laurie had a bet going. Izzy bet Laurie five dollars that their parents would get Eric an eight-track player. Laurie hadn't been present at breakfast when the gift ideas were discussed, so she took the bet.
Izzy made five bucks when Eric unwrapped his first gift.
Eric and Izzy alternated opening their gifts like they did every year. Kitty and Red got her a Beatles record--something she expected after her mother could only correlate Paul McCartney as "the cute Beatle."
Hyde got Eric cassette tapes, which made Kitty very excited. Fez got Izzy some strange-smelling lotion with the label in a language she couldn't recognize. She just smiled and thanked him, and he beamed in response. Jackie gave Izzy a mani-pedi certificate, and told her, "Now we can talk about your failing love life while I help you get prettier!"
-
At the end of the night, though, when the parents had gone and Laurie went somewhere with some of her "legal friends," the gang could just let loose and have fun.
Donna had asked Eric to talk outside, Jackie had pulled Kelso off to some corner of the house to go and make out, and Fez was gorging on Kitty's cooking in the kitchen. It left just Izzy and Hyde, with Hyde sitting on the couch and Izzy sitting in her father's chair, her legs tucked underneath herself.
"Y'know... your brother's probably sucking face with your best friend right now." Hyde said with a shit-eating grin.
"Shut up! Ew!" Izzy laughed, throwing a pillow at him.
Hyde held up his arms to deflect the pillow. "Why do you always throw these things at me?!" He said, grinning and tossing the pillow aside.
"Because you deserve something thrown at you!"
The two looked at each other, their smiles fading. Hyde scooted over a bit on the couch, now sitting in the corner of the couch closest to the bar. Izzy thought it was a joke at first, like ha ha, let's take some of your mom's schnapps, but she didn't see him smiling.
"C'mere." He said.
Izzy blinked, then laughed loudly and nervously. She stopped when she saw Hyde wasn't kidding. She slowly got up, walked over to him, and sat down a friendly distance away from him. He sighed and pulled her closer, so he could wrap an arm around her shoulders and she could rest her head on his chest.
"You're tired." Hyde mumbled, his eyes trained on the tv. As soon as he said those words, the exhaustion seemed to hit Izzy immediately. She just nodded and felt her eyes closing; Hyde looked down at her, slowly falling asleep in his arms. He chuckled and turned back to watching the tv, absentmindedly playing with her hair as he did so.
-
A little while later, Eric walked back into the house, holding the candle Donna had given him. He stopped in the living room when he saw Izzy fast asleep. "She fall asleep?" He laughed, sitting in Red's chair.
Hyde nodded. "Yup. What'd Donna get you?"
Eric held up the candle. "This, uh... This candle." He paused. "Y'know, it actually smells real good. Like pine and-"
"You wimp." Hyde grinned.
"Yeah I have no idea what to do with this."
Izzy rubbed her eyes and snuggled up against Hyde a bit more. "You light it, dumbass." She said sleepily.
Eric chuckled. "Izzy, what did Hyde get you?"
Hyde rolled his eyes and reached onto the ledge behind the couch where his gift was sitting. "Real nice, Forman. I thought I was gonna get away with keepin' this for myself." He said this deliberately to make Izzy laugh, but she just tiredly made grabby hands for it.
"What are you, a child?" Eric laughed at his sister. Izzy sat upright, glaring at Eric.
"Here." Hyde handed Izzy the gift. She unwrapped the small packaging--that messily wrapped by Steven himself, it took two hours--and her eyes widened.
"A camera? Steven, I..." She trailed off.
Hyde shrugged. "Yours just broke. It's kind of a crappy one, but it's the best I could get."
Eric just watched the scene unfold in front of him, smiling knowingly. Izzy leaned over and kissed Hyde's cheek. "Thank you."
Hyde waved her off, his face burning red. "Eh, it's nothin."
They all heard voices outside, indicating that Red and Kitty were walking back over from the Pinciottis'. It was apparent to all the kids through the noise levels alone that Kitty had had a few more than a few drinks that evening.
"Well, that's my queue to get goin'." Hyde said, getting up. He walked to the door and opened it, then stopped. He turned around and looked at Izzy, who was watching him leave.
He winked. "Nice dress."
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