i told her about me killing my father as she patched my gunshot wound. it wasn't bad, but i was scrapped which explained the bleeding. things sounded so much more twisted when i said it.

ryder placed the first aid kit in her cabinet. i saw her belly and smiled, "boy right?" i asked although she had already told me.

she walked away, "yes." she replied dryly.

i expected this, but she needed to know it was a mistake. "so?" she was across from me in the kitchen and i was across on a barstool at the island.

"listen, ry. rue was a mistake okay? i was at a lost place in my life you need to know that it wasn't intentional." my words went through one ear and out of the other.

"you killed your family, you fucked rue and on top of that went missing. were you even going to tell me that you cheated?"

of course ashtray walked in to hear.

"what's up man?" i greeted him with a hug. "can we talk?" he asked. "yeah, yeah cmon." he had grown over the time i hadn't seen him.

i turned to look back at ryder all she did was roll her eyes and walked outside. i'd ask her where she was headed but it was no use.

i walked in his room to see how different it was. "i missed you." i hugged him once more. "why did you cheat on ryder?" he looked me so deeply like he felt her pain too.

"it was an accid-"

"no, why did you cheat on ryder? be real with me man. she loves you and you know her story. on top of that you got her pregnant and left her high and dry."

"i don't know man being honest. i guess i was lonely and didn't feel anything because she wasn't around. i know it's not an excuse, but it's why." i admitted.

it sounded much more disgusting saying it out loud instead of just thinking it.

"she doesn't want you back so don't even try. you might as well leave we're gonna move and i'm going with her." ashtray told me seriously meaning every single word.

"leaving? to go where?" i questioned.

"does it even matter to you? you hurt the both of us might as well leave before you make things worse."

his words hurt but i knew he just wanted me to feel how they feel.

i walked away to go look for ryder.

she was a few houses down petting a dog that was on a leash. the guy who was holding the dog was smiling so hard at her. it's like he had seen sunlight after being in the dark.

ryder had that affect.

i walked over to the both of them with a frown on my face because i didn't have the right to be upset or jump to conclusions.

"hey, baby? can we talk?" i spoke up.

he looked at me and his smile went away, so did hers.

"axel this is my friend, fezco. fez this is axe." she nervously placed her hands in her back pocket after friend zoning me.

i seen a smirk on his face when he looked away from me.

i touched her stomach, "i just wanted to talk about the names i was thinking about."

"i'll catch you later love." axel waved goodbye. "it was nice meeting you, hatchet." i joked but kept a straight face.

"oh yes, it was nice meeting you too, ryder's friend." he snapped back. "bye, axel." ryder waved forcing him to leave before things got bad.

"what the fuck was that? friend?" i started with her.

"friend is better than guy who got me knocked up then cheated on me. am i right?" she argued back. before she stormed away i grabbed her by her arm.

"what's this talk about moving?" i said. "we're leaving to a better place. neither of us are happy and i'm thinking about adopting ashtray. problem?" ryder informed me.

"adopt? i'm his guardian."

"surely don't act like it."

i took a few deep breaths because i wanted to snatch her up and get her to see where i'm coming from but i couldn't. "i know i haven't been the best, but i'm here now, trust me."

"i gave you my trust and it meant nothing to you. please, leave me and ashtray alone."

"at least let me be in the baby's life?" i requested.

ryder knew she couldn't deny me of being in the baby's life no matter how much she hated me, or tried to. "that's it. if you fail to be in his life or inconsistent i promise you i won't hesitate to disappear."

i went in for a hug, but she blocked it.

"we're not friends, don't hug me." she said. "kinda funny that's what you told ole boy." i corrected her knowing it was just going to piss her off more.

ryder walked away and i followed her, "how long y'all been friends?" questioning about him was either hit or miss but i was curious.

"no where near as long as you and rue."

her attitude turned me on even though i felt less of a person.

i left it alone.

•

ashtray and i were in his room playing video games. all three of us had a long, heartbreaking conversation.

ryder is still upset but she's forgiven me thanks to my brother.

"hey, has ryder been seeing anyone?" randomly approaching the situation because i felt like he'd go back and tell her.

he turned and looked at me silly, "no, but there's one guy who i think likes her but she just pretends like she doesn't know. i handled up on that though."

ashtray really has stepped up and it makes me proud. i hope he never turns out to be like me though.

"axel?" i pretended as if i didn't know anything.

"yeah? you saw him?"

"have they been out anywhere? or?" i proceeded with questions. "look, her room is right across on the other side, go ask for yourself."

i put the controller down and made my way towards her room. i heard her giggle and another voice behind the door.

without knocking i carelessly walked in to see her in just her oversized shirt and thong. my dick immediately begin craving her.

she turned to look at me putting her phone to her side, "what do you want?" she said. "who you on the phone with?" i ignored her.

"i'll talk to you tomorrow." she smiled back into her phone then hung up.

"who was that?" i felt myself get harder the closer i got to her the more she was exposed. "axel." she finally answered.

i wanted to tear her guts up for that shit.

i took my shirt off, "oh forreal?"