{First published December 2015}

{Edited 6-16-2016}

|| Feelings ||

"Is she okay?" Kayden's deep husky voice causes a chorus of shivers to run through my body.

A tiny smile still plays on my face as tears roll down my cheeks. My eyes open and I jerk back a little at the sight of the wolf. Fear churns in my belly. I'm use to the sight of the wolf, but now I have nothing blocking my fear from blazing in my body.

Having something as big as a black bear a couple of feet in front of you would scare any body. Except for the three guys to the side of me.

Cameron smiles a soft smile and moves forward. His skinny arms wrap around me in a hug. I soak up the feeling of another's touch. I mentally check my steel walls. I'm safe at least for now. I know this was only the first step in the many more to come to controlling my powers and I can't help to gulp at that. Will I be strong enough to handle this?

He releases me but doesn't leave my side. It makes me happy and eases some of my nervousness. I take a deep breath and look up. Kayden is looking at me, now standing in front of me instead of behind. I can still feel the ghost of his hands on my hips. Kayden's eyes are full of caution and uncertainty. He really is gorgeous. His muscles are locked up tight. By the look in his eyes, he wants to be the one by my side but I'm just not ready for that. I don't even know what, how I feel about this connection between us. I need time to myself. Time to think.

"Is Jeff back yet?" I ask in a horse whisper, emotions thick in my voice. There's so many of them. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. Hate. They all roll around on me like thundering waves.

"We can check." Cam answers moving me towards the back door. "Avery if it gets to hard. Siphon them to Kay and Dean alright."

I nod. I don't know how to do what Cam said. Siphon, but I can mange for now. At least I hope so.

I stumble a little as a wave of hurt lashes at me, I glance behind me seeing the black wolf sitting there. He's so sad. And lonely. I turn back and just keeping walking as his hurt becomes mine breaking my heart. It will take some time but I will help him as much as possible. After I speak with Jeff hopefully me and Cam can work on the wolf.

I take a seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. My finger nails tap tap the granite counter top. I'm frustrated with myself for being afraid and nervous around everyone. I know these people but can't help the uneasiness from being near them.

"Here."

A plate lays in front of me with a sandwich and chips. I follow the hand with my eyes. I never noticed how huge Kayden's arms are nor did I know how attracted seeing veins and muscles pluses in a forearm could be. A blush blazes on my face and down my neck as butterflies swarm my belly. I've missed that feeling. That exciting, gushing feeling when your around a crush.

"Thanks." I squeaked making me even more red. Could I be even more weird?

"Avery," His hand on my arm has me biting back a groan as the tingles he always produces attacks my body. "Don't be embarrassed OK."

Yeah. Sure if that's even possible. I nod slowly taking in his square jaw, lush lips, and high cheek bones. He's a god and supposedly all mine.

A small whine escapes me and I try to cover it up by taking a bite of the sandwich. Smoked turkey and baby swiss cheese. I gabble it down in a minute and finish off the handle full of salty chips. I go to lick the salt off my fingers and pause half way towards my mouth remembering I'm not alone. I look up and turn beet red once more. I have a feeling this is going to be my normal look for awhile.

"Well, your a different person." Aden says.

My eyes narrow at him. I still don't like him there's just something about him that causes my hackles to raise.

"I think its a good thing." Nick chuckles.

"Hey." Cam smiles as he pops back into the kitchen, "Jeff still isn't back yet." He takes a seat on the bar stool besides me,"How are you doing? "

That's a load question. "Good I guess, considering." I shrug and drink from the glass of water that Kayden sat in front of me.

I zone out and wring my fingers together. There's so much stuff I need to do but one thing takes priority. I shake my head, angry at myself. It should of been the first thing I done when Jeff bailed me out of the mental institution. Me not feeling anything made that difficult. I feel immensity guilty and feel my eyes start to water up. No more tears.

I clear my throat, "Um.". God, I'm so nervous and I feel sick to my belly. Why is this so hard?

" What is it?". Kayden's voice has me almost gasping, feeling the tingles all the way through my body. How long will these last?

"Dads grave." I mumble, traces the lines in the counter top.

I look up when no one answered me. There's confusion written on the guys faces has me pausing my world wind of thoughts. A blush quickly takes up my face when I realize I didn't even ask a question.

" Will someone take me to my dad's grave?" I mumble again.

"You do know Max really isn't your Dad right.?" Aden sneers.

I flinch as my heart breaks. Yeah I know me and Max don't share any DNA like a father and daughter does but being a Dad isn't about DNA, is about everything else. He raised me from an infant until I lost him. He will always be my dad. He will always have my love.

"Aden!" Cam snaps at the same time Kayden smacks Aden on the back of the head. Aden growls but does nothing else, looking up at the wall with a clinched jaw.

"Avery." I jerk when Kayden takes my hand and tugs slightly , "Come on. I'll take you." He says softly with a small smile on his face.

I let Kayden lead me out of the house my much smaller hand still in his hand. I like the feel of Kayden's much larger calloused hand wrapped around mine. I blush again at my thoughts and feelings I have for him. Then the guilt hits me like a truck. I loosen my grip and pull my hand away. He gives me a sad look, but I can't help the guilt. I shouldn't be thinking about him, his hands when I'm going to visit my father's grave for the first time.

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