{First published December 2015}

{Edited 6-16-2016}

"Ah. This isn't working. " Cameron screeches, throwing is hands in the air, walking back and forth in the yard.

I roll my eyes and stand up stretching out my legs. We've been at this for two hours. Cameron has been trying to figure out how to unlock my emotions and nothing so far has worked.

Frustration slowly fills up my body. I turn to the side, where the trees meet the yard. Laying there sun bathing is the midnight black wolf. I snap my figures out at him earning me a wolf like grunt.

I shake out my shoulders, hoping to shake out the emotion and catch Kayden's eyes on me. A small frown on his plump lips.

We're bonded. I still can't get past that he bonded us without me knowing. Or that I'm doing all of this for him.

"Ok.ok." Cameron claps his hands together, coming stand in front of me.

"Explain it to me again. How you block?"

I sigh, "Its like this huge steel impenetrable wall inside my mind. It wraps everything up. It keeps everything from me." I cross my arms.

"So. Is there another wall behind that one? Lets say for your emotions." He says looking lost in thought.

I just shake my head.

"This is what you are going to do. Listen. Go in your mind. Bypass the first wall. Your emotions should be past it in a cage maybe." He nods his head and smiles.

My eyes shut and I focus on my wall. Slowly I walk through a fog not really moving. The fog starts to thin out. Its beautifully perfect. My steel wall. Its smooth and cold to the touch. I start walking looking for a door. A window. Anything to let me pass. I find nothing.

"Walk through it." I jerk at the husky whisper in my ear. Kayden. I didn't know he moved so close.

He smells good. Fresh rain maybe.

Shaking my head, I block him out along with the his body heat at my back, and his strong hands resting on my hips.

Laying both hands on the wall I slowly start to push. It feels hard at first, like a wall should be. The more I push the more it feels like it gives. Slowly I watch my hands start to sink in. Its cool and thick like clay. My hands disappears, cut off at my wrist. It looks like I have no hands. Just my wrists laying on the wall. Too say its weird is an under statement. Alright. I take in a deep breath and kinda do am jump run number into the rest of the wall.

I'm feel weightless. Floating. Until I'm not. I come through the other side stumbling. Falling down on my knees.

Looking around first thing I notice is the grey light. It's not dark nor is it light. Just a stale grey. In the middle of all the grey is a huge willow tree. Branches swiping across the grey floor. This must be my cage?

My head cocks as I move closer to the willow. Its a beautiful tree even though its not in bloom. My breath catches when I spot the small heart craved in the center of the tree. This isn't just any old willow. Its my willow, the one in our back yard. The one where my father took his last breath. Why would this be the thing that holds my emotions? And how do I unlock them. I walk around the willow in a circle coming back to the craving.

I stare at the tree looking for a sign about what to do. And nothing happens. I should of been expecting that, I mean how is a tree suppose to tell me what to do. This is my mind I should know. Right?

I sit down, leaning my back against the rough bark of the trunk. My fingers reach out and toy with the bare thin branch. Its so brittle it breaks apart at the touch of my fingers. The broken pieces fall onto the grey ground and crumbles to dust. The tree is dead. I lean my head back looking up into the dead branches. A memory catches me off guard....

"Av." The lyrical voice of my father floats to my ears and I bring my head back down. A soft smile stretches across his tired face. Dads not that old being thirty-two but you couldn't tell it by looking at his face. It's withered and wrinkles or stress lines how ever you want to call it mars his face. Dark circles set heavily under his ice blue eyes.

"Sorry." I smile sheepishly and shrug my shoulders.

He chuckles, "Try again rainbow girl."

That brings a bright smile to my face as I close my eyes and time my breathing. Rainbow girl. It always makes me smile and lightens my heart. Dad says I'm so colorful and full of life that I'm his own personal rainbow.

I shake my head as I feel the bright green leafs of the willow sweep across my face. Back to breathing. I'm suppose to be meditating. Becoming one with myself and nature. Still don't know what it means but dad doesn't make me do it very often so I at least try to please him.

My hand comes up and swipes across my nose as I feel a tickle of leafs. Again at my ear and on my cheek. Wait a minute, the winds not blowing.

A smile tries to form on my face but I stop it. I hear movement to my left and launch myself that way. Eyes opening to see dads surprise expression as I tackle him. We fall onto the ground both laughing. I punch his shoulder and roll off of him. I stare up at the blue sky watching the clouds slowly dance across the surface.

"I thought we were suppose to be mediating."

I can hear the smile in his voice, " With you rainbow girl its about in possible your so full of life. Just can't sit still."

I giggle knowing he's right that I'm a perky ball of energy.

"It's good for cheer." I smile.

Its quite. The only noise is are breathing and the wind moving through the tree branches creating its own melody. It starts to lull me to sleep.

"Avery."

"Hum mm."

"Avery." The tone of his voice has me setting up.

A frown covers his face.

"Yeah." I'm uneasy. He went playful to serious so fast.

"I want you to remember this." A sad smile covers the frown as he holds his arms out., "Remember how happy your are. Remember the good times and the love. Avery never forget the love I have for you and what makes you my rainbow girl." He leans over and kisses my forehead.

Tears streak down my face. "I remember. I'm so so sorry I forgot." My voice is a cried filled whisper.

A soft graze tickles across my face, prompting me to open my eyes.

My breath catches as my tears flow faster. There is no longer any grey here.

A bright blue sky with a shinning sun, shines all around me. Lighting up the green grass. I stand up and face the willow. The once dead tree is now full of life. Bright heathy leafs fill the branches with little flowers of every color of the rainbow fill the tree.

"I love you daddy." With a smile on my face, tears streaming down my cheeks I start walking back to my steel wall. Back to the real world to remember.