{First published January 2016}

{Edited 6-16-2016}

I follow Kayden through the trees outside of the house. Is the grave yard this close?

"Careful." Kayden says softly, catching me from falling on my face.

"Yeah." I say weakly.

We've walked a couple of minutes through the trees and over a tiny stream my eyes locked onto Kayden as he moves. I can see the muscles shift underneath his black shirt causing me to bite my lip. And his butt. My god who know a guys butt would be something worth watching as he walks through the woods.

"So. This doesn't need to be awkward between us." Kayden says looking over his shoulder. A smirk lights up his face when he says where I've been looking.

Kill me now. I look anywhere but at him.

"It kinda of does though." I mumble biting my lip.

He chuckles, "Yeah maybe."

We break through the tree line.

"Where are we?" I ask looking around.

We're in a small clearing with another cabin. Not as big as Jeff. It's like a cute two story cottage. Not big, big bot to small either. Just homey.

"My place." He says walking around the cabin to a black dodge truck.

You gotta love a dodge man. Am I right?

He opens up the door for me and I climb up.

"You live by yourself?" I ask as he gets in the driver side.

"With Nick." He smiles and starts to truck.

It rumbles to life.

"Oh."

We pull out of the simple gravel drive, heading straight. As count fifteen small drives ways as we follow the road, threading around trees. Is that how many people live here?

It's not to long before we're stopped at the end off the road. The grave yard right in front of us.

"Its nice." I say looking out the window to the gate of the grave yard.

I've never visited a graveyard before. I've always found them creepy and sad at the same time. But nice. In a calm kind of way. I guess.

I climb out of the truck and a shiver goes up my spine. Not the kind I get from Kayden. It's the cold kind of shiver, you get when you feel eyes on you.

"Are you ready?" Kayden asks softly.

I'm stopped right in front of the gate.

Am I ready no. But I have to be-need to be this is a long time coming.

I nod and follow him through the gate.

We walk among the cobble stone paths between grave stones.

Some grave markers are so small you barley notice them. While others are huge with statues adorning them.

We stop at a small willow tree in the left back of the area. I look at Kayden and he nods his head.

I guess this is it. Which makes sense. Dad always loved willow trees.

I walk forward to the knee high black stone.

A paw print is carved at the top along with....

Maxwell Lee Blackwell

A cherished brother

A beloved father

Always in our hearts

But no dates. Why is there not any dates? Is it a werewolf thing or something else.

I move forward and lightly lay my hand on the cool stone. It feels weird being here after all this time.

"Im sorry daddy." It comes out in a watery whisper. I squeeze my eyes shut.

I dont really know what else to say. It's confusing. I'm confused. I've never had to do anything like this before. Be at a gravesite of a loved one. What are you suppose to say? Is there a right or wrong?

"I'll remember daddy. I love you."

A sigh expands my chest as the first tears touch my cheeks. Am I always going to be crying now?

My lips touch the ruff stone. Giving a goodbye, a miss you kiss.

I don't know who done this. I do know it has something to do with me and I'm going to figure it out. Open up all the secrets.

When I turn around I stop breathing. The look in Kayden eyes has me scared. Why I have no clue. Any girl would love to have him look at them with adoration and love. Me, nah it scares me senseless.

Every thing happened when I turned fifteen. Some birthday day. Anyway. I Never had a boyfriend. Well, a real one. Evan is a boy and we considered ourselves in the boyfriend-girlfriend way but it was like a friend thing. Comfortable. Hand holding and cheeck kissing. But this with him. With Kayden, its scary. Its more real. Powerful. It will more than likely be more than just hand holding and cheek kissing. Am I ready for that?

Everything is scary. All of this is so new. In so many ways.

"I'm ready to go." I mumble.

Please don't let him sense how breathless I am. The blush I can't hide. Before this day is over my skin is going to be stainded red.

"Are you ok?" How his voice goes from light to deep is... I don't know what it is other than it makes me warm. I'm a freak.

"Yeah."

He nods and turns around leading the way back to the shiny blue truck.

It only takes ten minutes to get back to the house. It must be comforting to the other families who lost people to have the graveyard so close.

"What now?" I question it. I'm so confused. There is so many things I still need to know.

What does being a cursed-blood mean for me? What about the ribbons? The empath thing? The mate bond with Kayden? The black wolf. How am I suppose to help him? How can one help something their afraid of. Maybe getting my emotions back wasn't the right choice.

"We talk to Jeff." Kayden says softly.

Jeff. Alpha. God, How am I to live in this messed up reality, not knowing anything.

"Kayden." I tap him on the shoulder before he has a chance to open the front door.

"Yeah?" His eyes flash. Goes brighter making me step back.

He frowns slightly, "Avery, you have no cause to be scared of me. I'll always protect you."

"What does that even mean. ! You don't know me yet I see it in your eyes."

I start crying again. I can't help it. Everything is so frustrating and confusing.

Pine and fresh rain fills the air around me when Kayden in gulfs me in his arms. A tingle goes through my body at the contact. This feels like home. He feels like home.

"It will be ok." His soft lips presses a kiss to my forehead.

I hope it will be ok. But I just don't know.

"Hey, You ok?" Cams voice comes from behind me.

I turn in Kayden's arms, when he doesn't release me.

"I will be." I mumble wiping tears off my face. I need to be ok. I get to live again. I get to feel again. Like Kayden's heat pressing on my back. The butterflies in my belly. That's all good things.

"Jeff, isn't back yet." Cam lets in hang in the air.

I feel relieved. Is that awful that I hope he never comes back, with more questions and answers.

"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" Cam smiles.

"No. Not really. I think I'm just gonna go to bed."

He looks up at the sky and back down to me. I feel Kayden move slightly.

"Yeah okay."

I step out of the comfort of Kayden's arms and go in the house.

Maybe some sleep would do me good. All this might not seem so impossible in the morning. The stress could be lighter. I don't know. I just can't handle

any more today.

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with love, Ash