The Temple of Fandana loomed over them as they stood next to the canal; the setting sun cast long shadows over the area. “I guess this is how the goblins get in and out,” Miles remarked as he pointed to a ladder; it led down from street level. He began to descend it, then stepped up one rung and looked at his team. “Are you coming?” They gave each other unsettled glances and then followed.

“Looks like this is the way in,” Miles announced as he headed to the opening in the wall. As they entered, Lorarona and Noninja both doubled over, coughing and hacking. Miles and Clancy looked back at them, bemused expressions on their faces. “What’s the matter?” Miles mocked. “Too much for you?”

“Yeah,” Clancy added. “My room smells worse than this. At least according to my parents.”

“And what say you, Noninja?” Miles chided. “A tough half-orc like you, put off by a little stench?”

Noninja raised his head and shot a hateful look at Miles; he simply smirked. “You’re not the odd man out, now, are you?”

Clancy snickered and gave Miles a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Good one!”

Noninja coughed once and then stood up. “I’ll be fine.” He strode into the opening, passing Miles and Clancy. Lorarona rose slowly and managed to shuffle inside.

The sewer passage had two raised pathways, one on each side of the channel. Through the channel flowed a steady stream of unspeakable slop, with occasional pearl-white bobbing blobs. “Fatbergs,” Miles informed. “Restaurant runoff.”

“What are you, some sort of sewer expert?” Lorarona gagged.

“We all have our childhood hobbies,” Miles shared. “I used to be fascinated with poop and everything related to it. It’s amazing how much one can learn from it.” He looked wistful for a moment. “If only I had stuck with the subject…I could have become a highly-paid coprologist! That would have made my parents proud!”

“It’s like peeling an onion with you, isn’t it?” Lorarona moaned. “So many layers.”

“I could stand for a peeled onion right about now,” Noninja declared. “Sounds vastly preferable to this pong.”

The only light was from occasional street-level drains; they had to rely on Noninja’s darkvision to lead them forward. Lorarona brought up the rear, her low-light vision scanning for anyone tailing them. The stench continued to assail their senses, but even Lorarona managed to get used to it.

Finally they reached a larger open area; channels crossed the middle of the room at right angles. A larger street-level drain, one meant for diverting rainfall, cast the room in a pallid but serviceable glow. Noninja suddenly raised his hand; they all stopped. He appeared to listen closely, then headed quietly toward one of the passages leading out. “Do you hear that?” he whispered to them. “Voices.” They shook their heads; he motioned them to follow him.

They found a smaller passage, lacking a channel, leading away from the larger one. They looked inside to find four goblins, lounging and relaxing. Miles began to unsheath his scimitar, but Noninja stopped him, then pointed to his head. Miles nodded; they needed to think their way through this one, not just attack blindly.

Noninja strode into the small room, startling the goblins. They moved to stand up, but Noninja gestured with his hand. “Stay where you are.” The goblins stopped, the expressions on their faces turning glum. “Humans,” one hissed. “Always pushings us around,” another growled.

“We’re not here to harm you,” Noninja promised, “unless you make us.” The goblins simply continued to glare.

Clancy strode forward, proffering the drawing of the broach. “We’re just looking for this,” he clarified. “Have you seen it?”

Their eyes grew wide, then they turned away disdainfully. “Ugh. That again.”

Another snarled. “That ugly shiny-thing broughts us nothing but trouble!”

“So you’ve seen it?” Clancy asked brightly.

“Aye, human,” a goblin burbled. “The bully down thats way tooks it from us. Beat us up.”

“Then let’s go get him!” Clancy chimed.

“Not us, human,” one goblin sputtered. “Him too big. You get him. We shows you where.”

Clancy turned to Noninja; he simply shrugged. “Sounds fair enough. Lead the way!”

Sullenly, the goblins rose to their feet, arranged their gear, and pushed past the amazed team members, lumbering down the passage.

They turned this way and that, quickly making it difficult for the team to remember where they had been. Their unease grew as they realized they would likely never find the way out without the goblins’ help.

Three doorways down a narrow passage from a minor junction, they suddenly stopped; one pointed into the smaller passage. “Ins there,” he whispered. “We wait.”

Noninja shrugged. “Fine,” he said quietly. “Miles, lead the way. I and Clancy will be right behind you. Lorarona, watch the rear.” They nodded to each other and then stormed the passage.

They found a very surprised hobgoblin, who stood up suddenly. “Who are you? Get out of my room!”

Clancy showed the drawing of the broach. “No need to fight. We’re just here for this.”

The hobgoblin eyed the drawing; his eyes grew wide. “No! It’s mine! You can’t have it!” He quickly drew a dingy, chipped longsword and moved to attack.

Miles blocked the blow with his light shield and kicked the hobgoblin in the solar plexus; he staggered backwards. Noninja thrusted his katana at the hobgoblin’s neck, stopping him from moving. “Enough,” he declared. “Just hand it over.”

An indistinct missile suddenly flew into the hobgoblin’s chest; he cried in pain and lurched forward, impaling himself on Noninja’s katana. With a gurgle, he fell to the concrete floor, clutching his throat. Blood poured out at a terrifying rate.

“Lorarona!” Miles commanded. “Cure light wounds, now!”

“Ohhhh…” she whined as she stepped forward. Her hand began to glow with golden energy, and she moved to touch the hobgoblin. He kicked at her, sending her flying; the glow stopped. He stared at her hatefully as his eyes closed, then he collapsed limply to the ground.

Noninja turned to Clancy. “What the hell was that? I had him where I wanted him!”

“I’m sorry!” Clancy pouted. “I was just trying to help! Besides, I’ve been dying to cast ‘magic missile’!” He giggled as he smiled. “I just love everything about it.”

Noninja sighed. “Now we have no idea where the broach is.” He looked around the room. “I guess we have to search for it.”

They rummaged through everything they dared to touch, but only found some crude weapons, several dozen gold pieces, and various bits of junk. “Damn it,” Miles snarled. “Dead end.”

“Hes is dead?” came a voice from outside the room. They turned to see the goblins staring at them furtively.

“Yes,” Lorarona informed.

“Then wes search,” a goblin offered. “But wes keep everything but the shiny-thing.”

The team members looked at each other. “Sounds fine to me,” Clancy agreed. The others nodded.

The goblins suddenly fell upon the room, digging through rotting garbage, pools of sludge, and searching other areas the adventurers hadn’t dare touch. They gibbered excitedly about the various items they found, most of which didn’t look very appealing to the team, but included about twice as many gold pieces as they had managed to find. Finally, one goblin called out. “It is heres!”

He proudly held the broach in the air; bits of raw sewage fell from it and plopped onto the floor. He walked up to Lorarona and presented it to her. “Fors the lady!”

She reluctantly reached out and took it from his hand, trying to touch it as little as possible. “Wow…thanks.”

The goblin stood proudly, his toothy smile beaming. “Yours welcome!”

The other three goblins had stopped searching, and were now trying to pick up the hobgoblin’s corpse. The other ran to join them. With some effort, they were able to lift him up and stumble out to the larger passage.

“His bodys is ours too,” one goblin asserted. “But wes have enough to share.”

“No thanks,” Lorarona assured, her nausea returning. “Knock yourselves out.”

“But you could show us how to get out of here, if you don’t mind,” Noninja suggested.

“Yes, yes, of course, very easy,” one goblin assured. “Follows us.”

The goblins shuffled down the passage, continually stumbling and dropping their load. Miles sighed angrily. “Here,” he offered, picking up the hobgoblin’s corpse by himself. “Just lead the way.”

“Thanks you, strong human!” one goblin gushed. The rest of the journey went much faster.

“How can you stand to live down here?” Lorarona agonized.

“Whats you mean?” one goblin asked. “It’s peace and quiet.”

“Really?” she guffawed. “You don’t notice the horrible stench?”

Each goblin sniffed the air. “I smells worse before,” one offered. “Besides, humans not superior.”

“What do you mean?” Lorarona retorted. “We don’t live in sewers!”

One goblin stopped and glared at her. “Human use aminal wastes to grow crops, do you nots?”

Lorarona looked around uneasily. “Well, yeah…”

“Rotten aminals waste!” piped up another goblin. “But they call it ‘composted’ sos they can pretend! Then they eats the plants!”

Lorarona didn’t answer. The first goblin shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Nasty, nasty humans.” They continued walking back to their lair, Lorarona following glumly.

Miles threw his load from his shoulder; the hobgoblin’s body landed on the floor of the goblins’ lair with a squishy thud.

“Thanks you!” one goblin gushed before pointing down the larger passage. “Your exit is thats way. Can’ts miss it.”

“Thanks for all your help,” Noninja declared. “We have to get going now.”

“It’s about time,” Clancy exhorted. “I can’t deal with any more of their broken Common Tongue.”

The goblins all pulled their knives and glared fiercely. “Say the human that can’t even speaks Goblin.”

The team flinched as the goblins’ knives moved in a flash, but they stabbed into the hobgoblin’s corpse. “Leg steaks!” one called out as he sawed at the flesh. “Fresh meat!”

“Face jerky!” another sang as he worked to disassemble the head. “With grandma’s herbs and spices!”

The team quickly left before they had to listen to any more.

The sun had nearly set by the time they got outside. Each stood in the canal, looking at their sorry state.

“I just bought all this equipment,” Lorarona whined. “Now I’m going to have to burn it.”

“It’s not that bad,” Noninja assured. “It’ll cost nearly half our haul, but we can pay the public bath attendants to clean all of it for us.”

Lorarona bolted for the ladder. “Then let’s not wait another second.”