《Leave Bad Enough Alone》002. Obvious Adventuring Hook

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“Thanks for buying lunch, Clancy,” Miles grumbled as they all left the cafeteria and walked back to the city’s Adventurer Relations department.

Clancy slapped Miles on the shoulder. “No problem! Anything for my new teammate! Besides, we’ll be rolling in treasure in no time!”

“I’m sure we will,” Miles murmured.

Clancy smiled sadly. “I can’t believe your parents sent you out with no lunch money.”

Miles shrugged dejectedly. “They’re not really supportive. As I left today, they said something about ‘sink or swim’.”

Clancy shook his head. “That’s just terrible. Don’t they realize that, if you fail, it’ll just make them look bad?”

Miles stopped and stared wildly at Clancy, who continued to walk away. He felt Noninja’s hand push on his back. “I’m sure he meant that in the nicest way,” Noninja assured. “He’s just a bit socially awkward.”

Miles started to move again. “But how are we going to deal with that?”

“Oh, you,” Lorarona teased. “For one thing, stop assuming he means to insult you.”

“After everything I did to him?” Miles pointed out.

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Noninja shot back. “You’re the problem here, not him.” He looked Miles up and down. “You’re supposed to be an urban barbarian, right? It’s time to show us the urban part.”

Miles looked around uncomfortably as they re-entered the large room. Clancy pointed excitedly at the number on the big board. “Look!” he gushed. “Only a few more to go, and our grand adventure begins!”

“Can’t wait,” Miles grumbled.

Clancy turned around and gave Miles a nonplussed look. “C’mon, man! Where’s your spirit? Get pumped!” Clancy got in Miles’ face and grinned wildly. “Get pumped! Get PUMPED!” He followed that with a loud, inarticulate scream. Miles shrunk back nervously; Clancy glanced at him uncertainly. “What? Isn’t that what you and the other student athletes used to do before a game?”

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Miles saw Noninja and Lorarona giving him disapproving glares; Noninja flicked his finger in Clancy’s direction, prodding Miles. He sighed and turned towards Clancy, his manic grin still at full intensity. “You’re right!” he bellowed.

“Get pumped!” Clancy shouted.

“Get PUMPED!” Miles returned.

“Aaaaaaaugh!” Clancy screamed.

“AAAAAAAUGH!” Miles screamed back.

They continued screaming at each other for a few more seconds before Clancy broke out laughing and embraced Miles. He chuckled as he returned the hug. Clancy suddenly let go. “We should get a position near the counter!” he declared. “We’re almost on deck!” He turned to saunter through the crowd.

Miles felt Noninja’s hand on his back again. “Much better. Just keep it up. You’re still the odd man out.” Noninja moved to follow Clancy; Lorarona trailed behind, throwing Miles a disapproving smirk as she passed by. Miles snickered to himself as he caught up to them.

He had barely done so when he caught the strains of a spirited conversation between a pretentious-sounding, noble-looking young man, complaining at the top of his voice to a bored older female, who stood behind the counter, resting her chin on her hand.

“But Aunt Sylwia, this is important! Something has to be done!”

“Rikki, be reasonable. The city has a lot of demands for its services. Besides, this doesn’t really sound important to me.”

“But it is! The implications are devastating! Many lives hang in the balance! Why can’t you see that?”

“Even if I did, who would want to take up such a…noble quest?”

Rikki twitched as he heard footsteps behind him; whirling around, he gaped at Lorarona and the rest of the team for a few seconds. “Can you believe her? Typical bureaucratic run-around.”

“Now, Rikki…”

Rikki managed a small smirk. “Hey, you guys look pretty tough. I have a super important quest, concerning the very soul of the city! And if you succeed, I promise you riches and fame! What do you say?”

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“Rikki, you know you can’t promise them that.” Sylwia addressed the team. “I apologize for my nephew…sometimes he gets worked up over the smallest thing.”

Rikki was adamant. “This isn’t some small thing! It’s vital to everyone’s future!” He turned back to the team. “So what do you say? Will you help me?”

The team members exchanged nervous glances; Rikki’s face fell into a dejected scowl. They heard someone call out a number. “That’s us!” Clancy trilled. “It’s finally our turn!”

“I’ve got this one,” Sylwia bellowed to someone in the distance. She turned to the team, perusing them up and down. “Let me guess…you’re looking for a first-level quest?”

“Fine!” Rikki stammered, half-angry, half-embarrassed. “Just don’t come crying to me when evil falls over this city like a dark shroud, choking the life out of everything you care about! Thanks for nothing, Aunt Sylwia!” He turned with a flourish and stormed away.

Sylwia sighed. “I apologize for that. My nephew has always been something of a drama queen. Just because I work here, he thinks he can come in anytime and demand special treatment.” She looked wistful for a moment. “I suppose it’s our family’s fault for spoiling him so much.” She picked up some papers, and then eyed the team closely, a smirk forming on her lips. “Well, aren’t you all fresh-faced and bushy-tailed. You remind me of me, before the weight of the world crushed my spirit.”

She snorted cynically as she shuffled the papers. “Let’s see what sort of entry-level quests we have today.” The team exchanged excited glances as she thumbed through the loose sheets. “No…no…no…” she muttered to herself as she rejected one option after another.

Suddenly, she stopped shuffling and peered closely at one paper. “Ah, this looks perfect!” She looked up to find the team members staring back at her, undignified grins on all their faces. She shook her head and chuckled to herself.

“A local tradesman claims that his wife’s broach was stolen from her in the street last night, by some goblins that struck suddenly. He tried to give chase, but lost them as they entered the sewer opening just south of the Temple Of Fandana. He says the broach just has sentimental value, so it’s not a high enough priority for the city watch to get involved. But maybe it’s just perfect for you.” She handed them a drawing of a broach with several green gemstones, probably peridot. “See what you can do about it.”

The team exchanged uneasy glances. “The sewer?” Lorarona whined.

Sylwia snorted. “Get over it, kids. Real adventurers have to deal with conditions much more disgusting than that. If you can’t handle the sewer, you have no business being in this profession. Now get to it, or find something cleaner and safer to do for a living.”

Clancy plucked the drawing from Sylwia’s hand as they all turned to shuffle away. A few seconds later, they heard another team number called out.

They saw Rikki at the exit, who stood there, glowering. As they passed by, he shot them a sullen glare. “God…don’t you guys know an adventuring hook when you see one?” They avoided eye contact and lumbered out of the room.

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