“So… I think we should get modded.” Cory announced from where he was lounging on Gem’s bed.

“What?” Cas stared up at him from where he was sitting on the floor, playing a game on his screen with Gem.

“Yes! And that’s what you get for getting distracted! I’ve killed your whole crew!” Gem cheered, throwing her hands in the air in celebration.

Cas didn’t react, he just continued to stare at Cory and I realised I was staring too.

“Wait… You think… what?” Gem sat up straighter to stare at Cory who had gone silent.

“You think we should get modded? You know that modding is illegal, right?” Cas was incredulous.

“Well… yes but most doctors are modded.” He said quietly, picking at the loose threads on the pillow he was holding.

“They are?” Peg asked, looking up from her book.

“Yeah, especially ship doctors. They mostly mod their eyes so that they can perform x-rays and that kind of thing in emergency situations and… if I’m going to be a ship doctor, it makes sense that I should be modded too. Sooner would be better so that I have time to get used to them before I need to use them.”

“Well, I’m in. I’ve always wanted to be modded. Do you think they can mod me so that I can move things with my mind?”

Cas reached out his hand, pretending to try to move things telepathically.

I laughed and nudged him with my foot.

“Mods are science and technology, not magic.”

“You never know! So, when are we doing this? How are we doing this? How do we find someone who will mod us?” Cas asked excitedly.

“Warp gate 27, fly towards Irision until you can see the two suns at midday then turn your back to them and fly at a medium burn for twenty minutes until you see the ship. Captain Sammers.”

Everyone paused and turned to Cory who didn’t look up. I was baffled.

How did he know that?

“Wait, what?” Cas asked finally.

“Cory, what the hell!” Gem exploded as she threw the pillow she was leaning on at him.

“The doctor I used to work with was modded. He used to be a ship doctor in the Corps too, before he retired. He had modded eyes and told me where to go to get modded too. He said he thought I could be a doctor one day maybe…” Cory looked up nervously, trying to gauge our reaction.

“Awesome.” Cas sighed, leaning back against my bed. “Hey, maybe they would give me a tattoo too!”

“That’s a horrible idea. Truly one of your worst.” Peggy said without looking up.

“Why?”

“Mods are illegal. If they notice you have a tattoo, which is also illegal when you’re fourteen, they will search you and find the mods. And then you’ll be arrested.”

Cas looked crestfallen.

“Oh… Well… That makes sense, I guess… I’ll just wait until I’m sixteen.”

“Are you folks missing the part where we have to get to Warp gate 27? That’s so far away.” I asked, trying to bring the conversation back on track. “We haven’t got a crew or a ship.”

“We’re basically already a crew.” Gem laughed. “And we can borrow a ship.”

“Yeah, but officially, we aren’t a crew. We’d need to apply.”

“Peg, what’s the process?” Cas asked.

“Mmm… so, you apply to either join a crew or start a new one. Most crews are six to twelve people and it’s easier to join an existing crew rather than start one. If you’re joining, you have to apply then you just do one test simulation and one real flight emergency simulation. Then, if you pass and the crew approves you, you’re part of that crew. If you are starting one, you have to do two test simulations and then I think it’s three practice flights including one two-day search and rescue mission and you have to pass them all.”

“Okay so… do we want to join a crew or start one?” Cas asked.

“There won’t be a crew with five spaces on who all are happy to get modded or to even go there without reporting us so we’ll have to start one.” Gem said simply.

I nodded.

“Okay, but are there enough of us to start a crew?” I ran through the crew positions in my head trying to assign my friends to each one.

“Definitely! You and Cas can be the first and second pilots, Cory is the ship doctor, I’ll be the gunner, Peg’ll be the engineer and diplomat. That’s all we need, right?” Gem fiddled with her wrist monitor and pulling up the application form.

“Actually, that’s not all we need. We need two gunners, Cory will have to be secondary gunner because he’s our doctor or maybe Aries could be backup? But Cas could be too, I guess. And we need to have a secondary engineer, that should be you actually Cas or me or maybe Gem, you’ve really improved. We need a first explorer too. So, maybe Gem?” Peg looked at her.

“Oh hell, yes! I’ve always wanted to be an Explorer! I’ll put in the application!”

She projected the application form onto the wall so we could all see.

“Okay, so who wants to be the primary pilot?” She asked Cas and me.

I bit my lip. I wanted to be the primary, I always had but I didn’t want to say it. Primary pilot was a coveted position, Cas would want it too.

“I’m happy to be the second.” Cas shrugged his shoulders, looking at me for a second before looking away again.

I paused. I hadn't expected it to be so easy.

"Are you sure?”

“Yeah, fine.” He said without looking at me before standing and walking out of the room, his eyebrows drawn together unhappily.

I watched him go before looking around at the others, they looked confused too so I followed him. We weren’t used to him walking away from us.

“What’s going on, Cas?” I called.

He was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall but when he saw me he started walking away.

“Nothing.” He answered without waiting for me to catch up, stalking down the hallway.

I rushed after him and waited for him to answer me properly.

He sighed and turned back to me, his face conflicted.

“Aries…” He almost whispered.

I moved closer to him, unsure what the matter was and worried about how upset he looked. I wanted to hug him or do something to fix it.

“I…” He trailed off, looking angry, before slumping against the wall and sitting down.

I sat next to him and waited for him to talk.

“Do you remember what I told you about my dad?” He asked, staring at his hands.

I nodded before realising he probably won’t have seen.

“Yeah.”

He’d told me before that his dad was a Councillor and an asshole. He’d always treated Cas like crap and had given him up to the orphanage.

“He wanted me to sign up to the Space Corps when I graduated school, he’d always wanted me to be a pilot. Primary, of course. Nothing else mattered to him. He told me that everything he'd done was so that I could learn to be a pilot properly. They need to be able to make the tough decisions and once I learnt that…” His voice quivered, “ he said I would understand why he treated me like that and why he left me there.”

I didn’t know what to say so instead I reached out hesitantly and took his hand. His eyes were shiny with tears but the words continued to spill out of his mouth.

“He used to try and teach us to make tough decisions, to think objectively, choose the smartest answer. He’d make me, Jack and Katie choose who would get dinner every night. He’d say we were a crew and we’d have to argue who deserved to eat based on what was best for the team. I was an asshole sometimes but I was mostly just worried about them so I’d always say they deserved it more and they wouldn’t argue, then I’d try and sneak into the kitchen later for something. I was the oldest so I could deal with it better than them… Katie was so young, she barely understood what was happening… He only stopped when I started passing out at school. My mom thought it would be bad publicity. So, instead, he’d make us choose who deserved to be beaten.”

He laughed hollowly, staring at his balled fist as he relived the memories. Anger burnt through me. Cas had told me his dad was a dick but he’d never told me this much before. I could feel the hatred for him already raging within me as tears itched behind my eyes.

“I think he knew I couldn’t stand to watch them in pain and just really enjoyed hurting me. He always told me I deserved it, no matter how hard I tried to be good it was never enough.”

I didn’t know what to do, I’d never seen him look so sad before. I squeezed his hand tightly and felt him clinging to me even harder.

“I could never do it, Aries, I couldn't make hard decisions. I won’t have people suffer because of me.” He whispered, looking desperately at me.

“You’re not like him Cas, you're kind. You’re a good person.” I could feel my heart breaking for him.

He laughed but it sounded more like a sob.

“I’ll never understand how he could leave me there.”

“He’s a horrible person.”

“I know… but that’s why I can’t be the Primary. I want to but I need you to do it. I can’t make decisions like that, no matter what he taught me.”

“Okay.” Was all I could think to say.

“Plus, we both know you’ll be better than me.” He said with a shaky laugh, trying to wipe tears away.

I squeezed his hand and leant my head against his shoulder. “I guess I’ll have to be.”

He smiled and rested his head against mine.

“You already are. Thank you.”

“So. Why do you want to be the Primary pilot in this crew?” Andy surveyed me from behind his desk.

I still found him intimidating at this point. I don’t know, obviously, he’s basically a big teddy bear but I didn’t know that then. This was before we started having monthly meetings with him. I’m not sure if it’s the same on every Space Corps base but here Andy has meetings with each trainee crew at least monthly to make sure we aren’t struggling or falling behind with our schoolwork or anything. They were scary at first but you get used to it quickly.

“Well… I love flying… and I’m good at it and I want to help people?” I mumbled, trying to think of the answer I’d rehearsed with the group earlier but my answer sounded weak.

Peggy had drilled into us exactly what we should say to be approved because we couldn’t exactly tell them the truth: We want to get mods and we get bored on our days off. We’d never be approved if we told the truth but honestly, I think that’s a pretty common reason for joining a crew. There was only so much you could do on Nova.

“Okay, but why not join an existing crew? What is it about these crew members?”

My mind went blank and I could feel it groping desperately for an answer.

“They’re my best friends?” There was a pause. “And we all want to do our part to… ummm… help those who can’t help themselves and we work well together.”

“Have you ever flown together, just the five of you?”

“Well no… but we’ve done test simulations and they all went well.”

“Ah, yes, I have the results of those here.” He read something on the screen in front of him. “Always able to complete the mission objective. The crew and positions have remained fairly stable over the last few years and always excel in every class… High chance of success as a professional crew.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief and stopped craning my neck to try to read from the screen.

“You’d need to pass the two additional test simulations,” I nodded enthusiastically as he spoke, “and the practice flights. Then, you’d also have extra classes on top of your regular classes: Understanding Planet Politics, Working Crew Relationships, Crew Dynamics and Recreational Flying Rules. It’s a lot more work, do you believe your crew would be able to handle this?”

“Yes, sir!” I all but shouted at him.

His face broke into a smile. I wasn’t sure but I think he looked proud.

“Okay, I still need to interview the rest of your crew but you should be able to commence with the rest of the simulations tomorrow.”

My eyes flicked to the scanner again. We should be good, it was clear. I checked the flight plan against our progress. We were doing good, still following it and moving at a reasonable speed. No concerns, nothing to be worried about. I turned on the microphone and camera to the main bay of the ship.

“How’s everything going back there?”

“All good here! Just playing chis and destroying Peggy. All clear there?” Gem replied immediately, looking up from her screen for a minute to scan the bay and the screens scattered on the floor to her left.

“All clear.”

My eyes lingered on the screen for a little longer, watching Gem make her move which caused Peggy to groan and drop the screen onto her lap in frustration before muting it and staring back out of the window in front of me. I glanced at the scanner again. Nothing.

“We’re doing good, Arie.” Cas said quietly.

I breathed out a laugh.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Pretty much. We’ve been up here for almost two days and you’ve checked in on them about fifty times each day.”

I smiled, my eyes flicking back to their screen.

“I know, I’m just anxious. I really want this to work.”

“It will.”

It was our final test flight. The big, two day one.

My eyes roamed over the stars and distant planets in front of us. Apart from another ship way out in front of us, an IA cruiser, it was quiet.

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered, not wanting the others to hear my doubts.

“How many times have I flown with you? In class and in simulations?”

I thought back, trying to work it out before giving up.

“I don’t know. Once or twice a week minimum for the last two years I guess?”

“Exactly. Enough times to know you’re a good pilot and a good captain. We work well together… All of us.” He added quickly.

I smiled, seeing a gentle blush spread over his cheeks.

“We could engage the autopilot and go join them. It’s late enough for us to go to bed even.”

I bit the inside of my lip. He was right. We’d been taught in class that the autopilot system was so good that both pilots could sleep at the same time rather than taking shifts like they used to. The ship would wake us if there were any problems it couldn’t handle. Plus, they said that it was important that we learnt to be able to sleep in space so that we’re prepared for long missions if we ever need to do them. That was the whole point of doing a longer mission like this in the training but I still didn’t like the idea of it. I barely slept the night before so I knew I needed to tonight.

“Okay. Engage autopilot, please ship.”

“Autopilot engaged.” The ship chimed back at me.

I unbuckled my harness and stood, my butt numb from sitting in the chair for so long. Cas did the same and followed me out to the main bay.

“Has another search and rescue been called in?” Peggy said, looking up as we entered.

“Nah, time for bed I think.” I said, stretching.

An urgent search and rescue had been called in at about this time the day before but tonight it seemed quiet. We’d done a couple throughout the day so hopefully, we would be able to have a full nights sleep without getting woken for a mission. The storage was almost full on the ship anyway so I assumed we wouldn’t have anything else called in.

“Good! I’m shattered.” Gem said, dropping her screen on the seat behind her and stretching her hands up above her head.

“Me too.” Cory agreed.

He coped better with being in space by this time, having struggled at first, but it still took a lot out of him. His face was still paler than normal and he refused to sit anywhere other than in the seats whereas Peggy and Gem sprawled out on the floor comfortably.

Peggy passed out the bedrolls from the locker behind her and I unravelled mine on the floor closest to the cockpit, just in case I needed to go in there during the night. Cas lay his down next to mine before grabbing his spare flight suit and moving to the other side of the bay. Peggy and Gem came to my side and we changed quickly, facing away from the boys as they did the same, waiting until they said they were ready to turn around. I dropped into the sleeping bag, sleepiness making my eyes droop but forcing myself to stay awake until everyone else had laid down.

“Ship, can you turn the lights down please?” I asked, stifling a yawn.

“Yes, Captain Aries.” It said as the lights slowly faded down.

“Oh, wait! I had an idea earlier.” Cas said, sitting up.

I opened my eyes again, trying to focus them on him. My eyes fluttered shut and I had to fight to not fall asleep.

“Ship, can you project your outside cameras onto the ceiling in here?”

“Yes, Secondary Pilot Cassiopeia.”

I gasped as the roof of the ship lit up with the surrounding planets and stars. Beautiful bright spots flickered above us.

“Urgh. I’m just going to sleep.” Cory mumbled, burying his face against Gem.

This is what I had always wanted and dreamt of, being amongst the stars. I’d mentioned it to him before but I didn’t think he’d remember.

Overcome with emotion, I turned to Cas, my eyes damp with tears.

“Thank you.”

He smiled back at me. “You’re welcome.”

I stared at the stars again, feeling Cas’ eyes on my face but not wanting to take my eyes off the sky for even a second. My eyelids grew heavy again as I gazed at the stars until I finally allowed them to close. The gentle snuffle of Gem’s snores filled the ship, the only sound other than Peggy’s quiet muttering as she identified stars and planets, listing facts about them before moving on to the next one. My heart swelled in happiness. That moment felt perfect. And in the darkness my hand reached out, almost of its own accord, to find another hand reaching back for me.