I looked around the group of kids standing in the garage, dwarfed by hulking ships surrounding them. This was meant to be their first flying lesson. We were supposed to show them around a ship and explain what each part does but, as I looked at their faces, I realised there was no point.

Most of these kids were drafts, that was obvious by their sallow, thin cheeks. They’d never been to space so they wouldn’t understand why any of this was important. I remember that from when I started, none of it made any sense until I’d at least been into space a few times and even then I still struggled. You needed to experience it to understand it. This would mean nothing to them.

Cas, I have an idea. I told him, a grin building on my face.

He stopped mid-explanation of how the airlock worked and looked at me.

“How many of you have ever been to space?” I asked, trying to suppress my smile.

The children look at me confused and two raised their hands.

I nodded.

That’s what I thought. If they’ve never been up there, why would they care about any of this? They don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense to them. And now that we’re graduated and are a professional crew…

Cas looked at me, a smile lighting his eyes.

Great idea. We can just go.

“If you’ve never been to space before, you probably don’t understand why this is important, right?”

Some of the kids nodded timidly whilst others looked fearful, like we might be tricking them somehow. I raised an eyebrow at Cas who checked the time on his wrist monitor.

“We have time…”

Excitement built within me.

“Who wants to go to space?” I asked, no longer trying to hide my smile.

Most of the kids looked excited but some stepped further away from Frida as if we were going to force them onboard the ship and not let them leave.

“Do you really expect us to board a ship with two war criminals and go flying off into the great unknown?” One slightly older child said with a cruel sneer.

“Yes. You don’t need to come with us if you don’t want to but we will be back in time for your next lesson and, as usual, our flight plans will be logged with the base and approved before take off.” Cas answered, hiding his anger well.

“This will all make more sense once you’ve been to space and it’ll be so much easier to understand why this is important.” I explained, trying to be patient.

Sammy smiled widely and started bouncing on the balls of his feet. Some of the other kids were smiling too. I looked at Cas excitedly. We were going to fly again.

“Kids, go out into the back office and grab a suit and some boots in your size from the lockers. They should be clearly marked. Bring them out here and put them on over your silvers but make sure you go to the bathroom first!” I ordered.

We’ll have to go somewhere absolutely safe because we don’t have the full crew. Not too far from the planet. Close enough to come back if something goes wrong. I said, watching the kids rush out before climbing the ramp into Frida.

Cas passed me my flight suit from a locker where we’d stored them earlier and I pulled mine on whilst he did the same.

“Feels good to be back in this. Shall we tell the others?”

“Probably a good idea.” I grinned, looking back at Cas who was just zipping his flight suit up.

A sigh almost tumbled out of my lips as I looked at him. He looked so good in his flight suit, even the colour suited him. Even though he’d lost weight whilst in jail, like the rest of us, he still looked incredible. I could barely stop myself from reaching out to him.

I blinked hard to try and clear my head, accidentally activating my eye mods and had to blink quickly again to clear them.

Cas and I are going to take the class into space to show the kids what it’s like. I thought quickly, looking away from Cas as my cheeks burnt with embarrassment.

Oh, no fair! Gem grumbled.

Have fun! Remember not to go too far! Remember to stay out of the red zones! Peggy thought over Gem’s continued grumbles.

I grinned as I stepped out of Frida and walked down the ramp. Most of the kids were trying to zip up the bulky suits the base owned or were struggling to find boots the right size but some of them were standing together with sullen looks on their faces, refusing to get changed.

“We’re not going.” One of them declared as if they expected a fight. “You can’t make us.”

She jutted her chin out stubbornly.

“Okay.” I didn’t have it in me to say anything more but luckily Cas did.

Cas is a better person than me, I didn’t (and still don’t) have it in me to argue with people like that.

“As we said, if you don’t want to come into space you don’t need to. You can wait in that classroom there. If you leave before we return then your wrist monitor will mark you as absent and you’ll be docked pay.” Cas said, turning away from them to help a kid with their suit.

I smiled and did the same, leading a young girl back into the office to find some boots that fit her better than the ones she’d picked out.

“It’ll be easier once you get your own suit and it fits you better.” I heard Cas say quietly to a kid as we came back out.

12 are coming with us, four staying. I thought, counting quickly.

Idiots. Who would give up the chance to go into space?

I know but at least there will be more space on Frida.

He smirked at me.

“Okay, if your suit is on properly it should fit over your wrist monitor and show a green light on the panel on the suit. Can everyone see that?” I asked the class, glancing at the wrist monitors that I could see which were mostly showing green lights.

One kid was still fiddling with their wrist anxiously, trying to get it positioned properly with no luck and I watched for a moment as Cas went over to help them. The suits were fiddly to get on, I remembered struggling with it when I first started, but Cas managed to get it sorted pretty quickly.

“Great! Time to get in the ship!” I turned and led them into Frida, patting the door seal affectionately as I entered.

I’d missed Frida so much. Hell I still do, even though she doesn’t feel as safe any more. Cas and I debated finding a way to run away with her but we’ve decided against it. She would have traps inside her again and we’re both so tired. We’re ready to go anyway.

From the window in the cockpit, I watched the kids rushing towards the ship. One of the older boys who had spoken back to us had grabbed Sammy by the arm and was saying something angrily whilst gesturing at the ship. He tried to pull Sammy back towards the classroom we’d told them to wait in but Cas was stalking towards them. I could tell from the set of his shoulders that he was furious, he really hated seeing people being pushed around. Especially by their family.

He reached them and said something that I couldn’t hear but I saw the boy’s reaction. His face went pale and he let go of Sammy immediately. As soon as he was free, Sammy ran into the ship whilst Cas turned and walked slowly back towards us. His face was stormy but I could tell he was trying to get more under control.

I smiled as he entered the ship and patted the door seal just like I had.

I stepped back into the main bay of the ship and looked around at the kids who were standing around awkwardly. I needed to explain what we were doing so that we were actually teaching rather than essentially just kidnapping them. I glanced at Cas who smiled encouraging before clearing my throat to get their attention.

“Have a seat please! So, the first step when you’re going to fly is making a flight plan and logging it with Control. Cas and I are going to go into the cockpit and do that now but we’ll turn on Frida’s internal cameras and screens so you can watch what we’re doing too.” I pointed to the screens on either side of the door to the cockpit.

I waited as the kids settled into the moulded seats lining the outside of main bay and quickly checked to make sure they were all able to see the screens before meeting Cas’ eyes.

“Get yourselves strapped in, we’ll come out and help if you need it in a minute once we’ve logged the plan.” Cas called as he walked towards me into the cockpit.

I sat down in the familiar chair and ran my hands over the console. I’d missed her so much.

“It feels good to be back, doesn’t it?” Cas smiled as he sat next to me in the secondary’s chair and pulled the map up.

I grinned back at him so widely it hurt my cheeks a little.

“Frida, can you turn on the cockpit cameras and stream them onto the main bay screens? Also, stream the main bay cameras onto this screen please.” I waited for the screen beside me to light up before turning to the map Cas had pulled up.

So, where do you want to go? He asked, scrolling idling through the map.

I don’t even know. I didn’t think we’d ever be able to fly again.

Me either. I thought we’d rot away in some council prison or they’d finally succeed and beat us to death.

Me too. It’s so so good to be back. We should talk out loud so the kids know what we’re doing. I thought reluctantly.

He pulled a face at me before starting to talk.

“So, where should we go?”

“We have to be back within a couple of hours so we should stick to the Nova district.” I said, zooming in on the Nova district and scanning it for safe spaces.

“How about if we go out towards that stable bit past the gate?” Cas pointed.

Then we could show them a spacewalk too? I suggested.

He glanced at me in surprise.

That could be fun. A grin started to grow on his face.

“Good idea. I’ll send it to control for approval.”

I typed whilst he checked the local flight news and surrounding flight plans.

“Nothing’s happening in the area, should be approved.” He said just as I sent the form off.

“Great. Frida, can you tell us once the plan is approved please?”

“Of course Captain Aries, I shall let you know immediately.” The ship replied in that soothing monotoned voice that I’d missed so much.

“Shall we?” I said, cocking my head back at the rest of the class.

“After you.”

I stood up and walked out to the main bay. Most of the kids were seated with their harnesses fastened but some were still struggling. We walked over to the remaining kids and showed them how to use the harness correctly.

“Great, your harness should be tight enough that you won’t bounce around as we leave the atmosphere. See this kid here, this is how tight it should be. Try and move about.” I told one of the kids who thrashed awkwardly in their chair but couldn't move much.

All of the kids started fiddling with their harnesses, trying to pull them as tight as possible. I watched, smiling as I remembered the first time I went into space.

“Okay, all sorted? We’ll come round and make sure they’re all tight enough.”

Cas and I checked on each of the kids, avoiding the right side for as long as possible. I looked over at the kids sitting there, trying to not look at the floor where Gem was laid after she’d been brought back onto the ship. My eyes met Cas’. He’d been avoiding that area too. I took a deep breath to steady myself and walked over to the kids there, trying to ignore the sound of her ragged breathing that echoed in my ears. Cory’s pleas invaded my head and I fumbled with the belt. The phantom smell of her burnt blood stung my nose and I swallowed hard, trying not to let the internal struggle show on my face. I looked up at Cas again. From the pained look staring back at me, I could tell that he knew what I was feeling and that he was feeling it too. I was the Captain. The kids on this ship were my responsibility. I needed to deal with this and not let them know how much it was affecting me. I took another deep breath and moved further along the seats.

“Did I get this right? I think I did but can you double check?” Sammy asked excitedly, distracting me from the flashbacks I was still experiencing.

“Yeah, you did. You just need to tighten them a little bit more. Going through the atmosphere can be pretty hard so you need to make sure you don’t get thrown around in your seat at all. You don’t want to end up with a concussion.”

He yanked on the straps as tight as they could go and looked back up at me expectantly.

“How’s that?”

“That looks better.” I smiled weakly before moving onto the next child.

Okay, I think we are all done. Cas thought quietly. We should probably tell them what we are doing, right?

“We don’t have too much time today so we’re going to stay in the Nova district and go on a bit of a tour of the area to get you all used to space travel.” I told the kids who were anxiously yet excitedly staring up at us.

“Captain Aries, your flight plan has been approved. Please depart at your leisure.” Frida chimed.

“Great timing, thanks Frida. Does anyone have any questions?”

I looked around the room as they all shook their heads before meeting Cas’ eyes.

Ready?

He grinned at me, the dimple appearing in his cheek. I took that as a yes and walked into the cockpit dropping down in the chair. My chair. Cas sat down too and started to strap in.

“Oh, shit!” He exclaimed, leaping up quickly.

I stopped and turned to look at him, confusion etched on my face.

Vomit bags!

Ah. Thank the gods he remembered. We’d heard tales of flights where people had forgotten to hand out them and they’d returned to Nova covered in vomit. The thought of that turned my stomach.

He opened one of the lockers, rooting around before emerging clutching a box of biobag.

“These are vomit bags. Hold them in your dominant hand and make sure you can bring them up to your mouths.” He called as he strode out to the main bay and started handing them out.

I smirked, watching the terrified looks on the kids’ faces in the monitor as I finished strapping myself in.

The kids still looked terrified so I turned on the comms to the main part of the ship.

“They’re just to be safe, you probably won’t need them but it can take some time to get used to space travel.”

Cas returned and strapped himself into the his chair, double-checking Frida’s displays.

I signalled for the garage doors to be opened and finished my preflight checks.

Are you ready? I asked Cas.

Let’s go. He thought with a grin.

Taking off now, we’ll be back in like an hour and a bit. I thought as I steered Frida onto the launch area outside.

Have fun! I’m so jealous! Gem shot back.

Be safe. Cory’s response came.

Come back to us. Peggy requested.

Of course. Cas and I replied at the same time.

“Better tell the kids.”

“Okay, everyone, we’re ready to take off! It’ll be a little bit shaky as we go through the planet’s atmosphere but that’s completely normal, once we get up there it’s way smoother.” I said into the microphone.

“If you need to puke, please use the bags.” Cas added.

I gazed down at the controls before starting the engines properly, pulling the lever and lifting us into the air. It felt so good to be flying again. It came back to me easily and we exited the atmosphere smoothly, as if we’d never been away.

There goes the first one. Cas informed me as we heard someone retch. Oh, and number two… And number three.

I smiled grimly, for once regretting the mods that enhanced our hearing.

“Hey, how well do you think they cleaned out Frida?” Cas asked, his eyes scrutinising the cockpit carefully.

“Pretty well, I think. There’s no trace of anything on her.” I said, checking the flight plan against our progress as we cruised along at a gentle speed.

The last flight had left dust, grime and blood streaked through her. It had even settled on the console somehow.

“Hmm.”

Cas unstrapped himself and dropped under the console.

I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he was looking for, and waited for him to return.

“Yes!” He crawled back out, a triumphant look on his face and his hands full. “See Frida, they aren't so big and smart are they?”

He patted the console lovingly before holding out a bag of chips to me. I flicked on autopilot before ripping into them and shoving one in my mouth.

“We’re stable now if you want to go check on them?” I offered, my mouth still full.

He laughed, strapping his snacks and drink onto the chair.

“You mean deal with the puke, right? If I have to, Captain.”

He saluted jokingly before leaving. I watched him on the screen as he grabbed a waste bag and vac before addressing the kids.

“Okay, you lot have done great! How are you feeling now?”

One of the kids who was clutching a full bag groaned but most of the others were smiling now.

“Great! Seal up the used bags and place them carefully in here, they’ll be incinerated when we land. I have some fresh bags here if you need them.”

I looked away again as the vac flared to life and Cas mopped up any trace of mess in the main bay.

You can come join me you know? All the puke is cleared away.

I bit my lip.

He was doing great and I didn’t want to ruin it. The idea of teaching still made me anxious. He was chatting with the kids easily, I knew I wouldn’t be able to.

I’m good. I’m going to just… check the flight plan again. Make sure we’re still on track…

I could almost feel him rolling his eyes at me. He knew I was stalling.

“Okay everyone, I’m going to go see how our Captain is doing and then bring her out here to explain the flight plan.” Cas said enthusiastically, walking back towards me.

I grimaced at him as the door closed automatically behind him.

“What?” He asked innocently.

He knew exactly what he was doing. I switched off the microphone for the screens in the main bay.

“That was mean. You know I don't want to do this.”

He rested his forearms on the back of my chair leaning over me, his hands rubbing my shoulders supportively.

“You know you should. And you know you can do it. You’re doing great!”

I grumbled at him.

“Come on, you're the primary.” He coaxed.

I dropped my head back and glared up at him. He had a point and I didn’t like it.

“Fine.”

“See. There’s that enthusiasm I love so much.” He teased.

I unclipped my harness and let him drag me out of my seat, only resisting a little bit, before pulling my shoulders back and marching into the bay. The kids all looked excited, apart from one kid who was staring intently at the floor and looking like he might puke again at any second. I tried to remember the pure exhilaration I’d felt the first time I flew and tried to channel that into what I was saying, forcing my voice to be much more enthusiastic than I actually felt.

“Okay, so obviously we’ve exited Nova’s atmosphere but we’re still in the Nova district. Frida, project the flight plan to the bay.”

I paused until the holographic projection of our flight plan filled the room.

“So, we’re currently here. The Nova district is one of the largest in our known galaxies and, like most others, it’s controlled by the Council and Guardians so is mostly safe. The IA patrols anything outside of our district so we shouldn’t run into them either. It spreads all the way from here… to here but we aren’t going that far because we need to be back in time for lunch. Our flight plan will take us just along here until we’re closer to this waste area and then we’re going to show you a spacewalk.”

The kids started whispering excited and Sammy’s hand shot up.

“Um, yes, Sammy?”

“Who is going to be doing the spacewalk?”

I looked at Cas who answered before I could.

“I will.”

I furrowed my brow at him, asking for an explanation.

“Aries is the Captain and the primary pilot of this ship and her crew, I’m the secondary. That means that she’s more important than me and that if anything goes wrong, she's the one who has to deal with it.” He said simply and factually but with a smile.

Are you sure? I asked.

He smiled at me, his dimple appearing for a brief second.

“That’s so cool! I always wanted to go on a spacewalk! Oh, I wish my brother could see this!”

“He could have come…” One of the other kids said snarkily.

Sammy’s face dropped.

“Hey! That’s a fair point but it’s mean and we’re not mean in the Space Corps. Remember our ethos. We save and protect those who can’t help themselves but part of that is that we don’t blame people for what they can’t control. What Sammy’s brother did isn’t his fault and he shouldn't be teased about it. It’s not right. ” Cas said immediately and firmly.

The other boy flushed and stared down at his seatbelt but Sammy just smiled sadly.

“He’s right though. He could have come though… If he wasn’t such an idiot…” He muttered whilst fiddling with his gloves.

“Yeah but I understand why he didn’t.” I said, causing the kids looked up at me confused.

I was going to let Cas deal with this, he’s better at dealing with kids than me but I felt bad for Sammy.

“He doesn't know us or trust us. That makes sense, there was a lot of untrue stuff said about us in the media but not many people know the full story so why would you trust us? You don’t need to yet but you can trust our skills. We’re good and we wouldn’t risk ourselves or anyone else.” I tried to explain.

The kids looked thoughtful but didn’t say anything so I felt the need to keep talking.

“Anyway, it’s normal to not trust us yet. I didn’t trust most of our tutors at first either and they didn’t even commit treason.” I smiled cheekily prompting a laugh from some of the kids.

“I think what Aries is trying to say is that most of you were brought up in the orphanages where you can’t trust anyone and you’re taught to believe the Council and not to ask questions. It takes a while to get used to being able to trust someone.” Cas smiled back at me. “Here, it’s the opposite. You can trust almost everyone here and you’re encouraged to ask questions. They’re pretty much always answered.”

Sammy put his hand up again, looking thoughtful.

“Yeah?”

“Did you really commit treason?” He asked haltingly, like he was scared to get into trouble.

It seemed like everyone took a deep breath. The world paused as it waited for my answer. I knew this question was coming. I debated lying or trying to justify our actions but I decided against it. That would go against what we were trying to teach them.

“Yes.”

That was the answer. We did commit treason, there’s no way around it. We knew what we were doing and we still did it.

“Why?” One of the other kids asked, not suspiciously just curiously.

I chose my words carefully. I didn’t want to get us or anyone else in trouble. I still feared the Council at this point.

“One of our crew members, Peggy, noticed a problem on Irision. We tried to talk to the Council but they told us not to do anything…. We decided to anyway.”

There was silence and my stomach squeezed anxiously as I worried about how they’d react.

“Why did they tell you not to do anything?” Sammy asked.

“Urm…”

I looked at Cas, unsure how much we could say.

“That’s one of the questions that we can’t answer for you because we don’t know for sure. We can guess but we aren’t sure.” He said with a shrug, glancing at me.

“Captain, we have reached the area in which you plan to complete a spacewalk demonstration.” Frida informed us before anyone could ask what we thought.

I was relieved. I knew the kids wanted to ask more questions but I couldn’t answer them without insulting the Council which felt dangerous. I wanted to insult the Council, call them idiots, assholes who deserve nothing and should be removed from power immediately but I couldn’t risk the kids. They hadn’t done anything wrong, they didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t risk anyone else because of a bad decision that I made. At least the spacewalk distracted them from asking any more hard questions.

Hey, maybe we could stream Frida’s external cameras back to the classroom? Those kids are idiots but they’re probably just repeating what they’ve heard on the news or things their parents said? If they're still there it might help to convince them we aren’t monsters? Cas suggested as we walked back to the cockpit to prepare.

We could… I hesitated, not wanting to reward them for being dumb.

It’s the right thing to do and you know it.

I sighed at him. I was being cruel, he was right.

“Frida, can you stream your external cameras to the classroom just off the garage? Room 42a?”

From the corner of my eye, I caught Sammy smile on the screen as he heard what I said.

You're right. It is the right thing to do. You’re a good person. I thought reluctantly.

“You ready?”

His eyes were fixed on the scanners.

“Let’s do this.”

His throat bobbed but he didn’t look away from the screen. His knuckles clicked as he clenched his hands tightly.

Cas, you don’t have to do this. I’ll do it? I offered, reaching out for his hand.

He gripped it tightly and smiled at me gently. My heart squeezed in response.

“I’m ready.”

I followed him back to our class.

“Alright everyone, we’re ready for the spacewalk! Cas, do you want to explain about the suits and the walk?”

“Okay, so the suits that Aries and I have are special. They're enhanced so you don’t need to be tethered because we have thrusters in our boots and an oxygen recycler built-in, do you see? They're more advanced than the standard-issue ones in a lot of ways so they autoseal if there’s a leak and offer slightly more protection. Once you’ve saved up a bit of money from your training, you’ll be able to buy ones like this too but for now, if you have to go outside, you’d need to wear one of these bulky things.”

He opened a compartment along the back of the bay near the airlock and showed them one of the emergency suits we kept in there. They were huge compared to the slick ones we were currently wearing.

“Even with our suits, it’s important that you stay close to the ship and check on your fuel and oxygen levels before you go out. Once you’re out there, you need to keep an eye on them too but it becomes second nature after a little bit.” I added pointing to the display on my wrist.

“Definitely. You don’t want to be stuck out there with no fuel and only your emergency oxygen, that’s not fun.”

Cas’ eyes held a cheeky glint as they met mine and I remembered the last time that happened to us with a blush. It had happened embarrassing recently, people with as much experience as us shouldn’t make dumb mistakes like that and yet we had.

“Okay, so to start your spacewalk you need to make sure the ships thrusters are off so that you don’t get accidentally burnt or thrown away from your ship. So, Frida, can you please turn off the thrusters?”

“Certainly Captain. The thrusters are off.”

I double-checked my monitors to make sure.

“Great! We’re going to stream the outside cameras onto these screens so that you can see what Cas is doing without having to crowd around a window.”

On cue, the screens began to display the outside of the ship.

Ready?

Cas swallowed again and clenched his hands.

“So before I go out, I need to check my fuel and oxygen levels which are both almost full. Then, I need to activate my helmet and gloves.” His voice was tight, the kids wouldn’t have noticed but I could tell that he was anxious.

He activated his helmet, running his hands around the seal to make sure it was secure before activating his gloves.

I followed him over to the airlock, watching as he clenched his hands again before checking the seal once more. A smile appeared on my face. This was a habit Cas had had ever since we started doing spacewalks. He always checked his seals then clenched his hands, shook them out and clenched them again but this time he did it multiple times. He only ever did it once normally.

I reached out and touched his arm.

Hey, are you okay?

I’ll be fine. He refused to look at me, staring down at his gloves instead, clenching his hands again.

I could hear his knuckled popping faintly through the gloves.

I waited for him to say something more but he didn’t.

You don’t have to do this, you know?

No. I want to… It’s just… I haven’t done this since… Gem.

I tried to smile at him.

I know. None of us have.

I just keep remembering that moment. I feel like I’m going crazy but I can almost hear Cory shouting at me. I’m almost waiting for him to appear and punch me… Every time I look down at my hands, I expect them to be covered in her blood. Is that insane?

I smiled at him, my heart breaking.

No. We can take this slower, you know?. Tell them there’s a problem with the airlocks or the suit or that the flight plan got changed.

Cas took my hand, one side of his lips rising in a smile.

I got this. No retreat.

He stepped into the airlock but I didn’t let go of his hand.

No surrender! I thought and the rest of my crew joined in, the cheer echoing in my head.

“Come back to me?”

His eyes lit up.

I always will.

I smiled back, letting go of his hand and allowing the door to close between us.

You got this, Cas! Gem thought at us.

I watched as he checked his seals one last time before preparing to unlock the outside door.

“Why do you say that?” Sammy asked.

I was brought back to reality quickly and glanced around at the kids who were all watching Cas leave the ship on the screens apart from Sammy who was looking at me curiously and waiting for an answer.

“It’s something one of our crewmates started saying when we were first doing spacewalks, it just means like be safe and come back. It just became a habit.”

I smiled and looked back out the window, watching as Cas’ boots flare into life as he floated slowly away from the ship before turning and waving at us.