, I sat on the sink of my bathroom counter – in nothing other than a pair of panties – moisturizing my curls. After having so many photoshoots where my hair had to be straightened or manipulated by heat or any heavy sheens, I dedicated today to my hair. I'd done a protein treatment followed by a hot oil treatment. Now I was moisturizing it and was going to let it air dry rather than diffuse it.

Once every strand was coated, I wiped my hands dry and climbed down from the sink. I cleaned my mess of products then stepped into my bedroom. I took a quick glance at the time on my phone, wondering where Asani was. I'd called him over so that we could have a talk about an hour ago and he still wasn't at my door.

The second I sat my phone down, a phone call came thru with my mother's name. I sighed and plopped down on my bed. It had been close to two weeks since I left and I had yet to give her a call.

"Yes mother?" I answered.

"Don't give me that tone. Why haven't you called me? I've been worried about you."

"If you wanted to talk to me you could have just called me, Ma. Much like you just did." I muttered the latter.

"Korin Stasia Alexander. You better watch it."

With a slight roll of my eyes, I sat in silence. I was not one for disrespecting my mother but at this point I was over her. I thought we were back in a good space, however, she proved me wrong when she chose not to call Justice out on his bullshit. It was a habit she couldn't seem to shake.

"I was just calling to see how you were doing. Khloe said you haven't been talking to her much. Why? You're punishing her for you and Justice's disagreement."

"I have no reason to punish her. I've been busy."

"Well call your sister."

"Is that all you called for? You have nothing else to say to me? Nothing else you want to talk about?"

"What is there to talk about? You and your brother haven't gotten along in years. I'm tired of putting up with y'all shit. I'm done with it. Y'all will just have to solve this on your own."

"Wow okay. Goodbye mother."

"Korin don't be that way. You don't think I'm tired of my kids fighting and refusing to get along and love each other?"

"You're the reason he acts that way! Whenever he feels like he's being silenced or done wrong, he lashes out rather than talk it out and you take up for him. You always find some excuse for him and he feeds off of it. So without your reinforcement, he's not doing anything and you know it. But to each's own. I'll live."

"Can you not do this."

"Okay, mom." I waited on her to say something but she didn't, she just hung up. "I swear they make me so sick." I groaned tossing my phone aside.

A knock sounded against my front door meaning Asani was finally here. I grabbed my robe and tied it around myself before emerging from my room to answer it. When I pulled the door open, he grabbed my face and attacked me with kisses.

"Hey." I giggled in between a kiss.

"What's up?" he released my face. "What you've been up to?"

"Nothing much." I sat down on the couch and pulled him down beside me. "You've been okay?"

"I've been great. I did miss you though." he rubbed my knee.

I grabbed his hand and held it. "I want to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"Um I don't really know how to say this but... when we had sex the other night, I didn't enjoy it."

"What do you mean?" he frowned. "I thought we were having a good time."

"Yeah at first. But then I asked you to stop going so deep because it was painful and you didn't listen to me. You continued to do what you wanted."

He pulled his hand from my hold. "I don't remember you telling me that I was hurting you."

"I did. I don't want to make this a big deal but I wanted you to know that I wasn't satisfied."

"If you don't want to make this a big deal then why are you bringing it up to begin with?"

"Because I don't want every time we have sex to be painful. I want to be able to enjoy myself just like you. Can you please just take my input and be considerate?"

He scoffed, standing up from the couch. "I can't believe this."

"What can't you believe, Asani?"

"That you're sitting here telling me that I'm not satisfying."

"Why are you taking this to heart? All you have to do is take this into account for next time. That's it. It's just constructive criticism and basic communication."

"That's it? That's all you wanted to talk about?"

"Asani come on. Don't do this."

"Was that it?" he repeated.

"Yeah, but I—"

"I'll talk to you later." he headed toward the door. I quickly got up following behind him.

"Asani stop. I don't mean to crush your ego or anything but I want us to work. We can't do that if we can't communicate properly. Don't just walk out because you're upset."

"We can talk about this another time. I need to get back to the shop." he opened the door.

I pushed it back closed. "You're not leaving here upset."

"Korin I need to go back to work. You called me here to talk, you've said your piece and now I have to go."

"Alright. If you want to leave like this then go ahead." I stepped aside. He opened the door and walked out.

With a sigh, I walked back over to the couch and flopped down. The last thing I expected was for him to get offended by my critique. Sure it was a slight hit to his ego, but I refused to be in a situation where I did not speak up for myself. Especially with us both being grown adults. He should have been able to accept what I was telling him and took it with a grain of salt.

«»

Noelle let me inside of her loft and I went directly to the kitchen to warm up the food I'd brought along with me. After having a semi-discussion with Asani, I needed someone to vent to about what has happened within the past two days. Noelle was the first person to come to mind aside from Eliana – who I felt would be biased in the situation. She already didn't think Asani and I were a match, and she grew up with Giovanni. Gio was just as much her friend as he was mine.

Furthermore, Noelle was someone who listened and gave great advice without judgement. I wasn't sure how she'd acquired the trait but it fit her well and it was one of the many things I loved about her. She was the friend that kept everyone logical when we wanted to lash out.

"So, what's going on? You usually bring food with you when you're stressed out." Noelle walked into the kitchen, propping her hand on her hip.

"I'm all over the place emotionally. I just need to talk and stuff my face at the same time." I popped both bowls into the microwave.

"What's been going on, Korin?"

I sighed. "My mom and I are in a weird place. I know it's because of me but I want her to recognize how she encourages Justice's entitlement and stubbornness. He literally feeds off of what she uses to excuse his actions. And I'm upset that he doesn't want to move forward. I miss my brother. I mean we weren't the closest but he's still my blood."

"Yeah, I get that. However, I still think you should just wait it out. No more taking the initiative because he continuously slams the door in your face. That's draining."

"It is, but I can never shake the feeling of knowing he refuses to talk to me. Then on top of that Asani and I had sex—"

"Ahh! How was it!?" she grinned as I took our bowls from the microwave.

"A disappointment."

"Nooo." she covered her mouth. "What happened?"

"It was going so well in the beginning. He had me tied up and was giving it to me right until he wasn't. He started to dig into my cervix like that shit felt good or something. I told him about it, he adjusted, but went right back to going too deep. I left it alone for the rest of the night and just thugged it out. I called him over today to talk to him about it and he got upset."

"Upset how?" she frowned, taking a seat on her couch. I sat down beside her.

"You know, acting as if I'd bruised his ego. He claims he doesn't remember me saying anything to him but I didn't want to make it a big thing, but I guess it's big to him."

"Men always take critique about their sex game to heart. They act as if they are oh so perfect in that department. Did he try and deflect onto you?"

"No, but he didn't want to talk about it anymore and he left. He says he needed to get back to his store but I know I hurt his ego in a sort."

"Make sure you talk to him before the day is over. Don't let this last longer than it needs to."

"Yeah, I know." I ate some of my food. "But there's more."

"Girl it's only been a few days since I've last seen you. How much more could have happened?"

I chuckled. "I had to play nurse for Giovanni last night."

"Had to?" she pursed her lips.

"He went to a day party with his friends, got drunk and called me to come get him. As bad as I wanted to ignore his request, I couldn't. If you would have heard his voice or seen the look on his face as he apologized and asked to see me....I just had to go. We ended up having a little heart to heart and I let him know that I wasn't angry with him anymore. I'm moving on and giving him the chance to start over."

"I'm proud of you for that. I know grudges are your thing but obviously he really meant something to you."

"Yeah he did. He still does if I'm being honest. He holds so much of young, broken me. And it's uncomfortable to say the least, but the feeling I get with him is enough to keep me there, you know? I don't know what it is."

Noelle smirked to herself while stuffing a piece of salmon into her mouth. "Sounds like you have your hands full. A sweet man that you like but is bad in bed, and a man from your past that makes you feel everything at once. Yikes."

"Tell me about it." I sighed. "I don't have any intentions of trying to be with Giovanni romantically though. We need to rebuild our friendship before anything."

"You would be open to it though?"

"I don't know....That was a dream of mine when I was younger but after everything I'm not sure if I care to have that anymore."

"Not that I'm trying to steer you away from Asani, but maybe once you get to know older, experienced Giovanni, you may want that again."

"And that may be true but Asani is my focus right now, romantically. I really like him so I want this to work between us. I don't want to throw it away without effort."

"That's understandable. It's not like the sex can't be fixed with a little communication. He may be upset now but he'll get over it and do what he needs to do."

"Let's hope so."

read when I opened my eyes for what felt like the first time ever. My ACL surgery was performed that morning and when I came home, I passed out. But I didn't expect to sleep for majority of the day. I'd only planned on taking a quick nap and there I laid still tired.

It could have been the medication's affect on me or my lack of sleep finally catching up to me. Either way, I knew that I would soon fall back asleep. But before I could do that, I needed to eat.

"He's probably still asleep, but the doctor doesn't want him putting too much pressure on his knee. He has to use his crutches, no matter what, and he needs to rest as much as possible" Eliana's voice could be heard outside of my room door.

With my father having an expired driver's license, he was unable to be a reliable driver to and from the surgery. His opportunity search had finally paid off and he started his job today, therefore, I asked Eliana to assist me. The plan was for her to only to be my designated driver but my doctor requested her to stay until I had someone else to sit home with me.

I didn't think I needed anyone to watch over me, seeing as I'm a grown man. But what the doctor says goes and it wasn't like Eliana was going to leave after the doctor's orders anyway.

The door to my bedroom slowly opened and Eliana and I met eyes. "Oh, he is up."

She pushed the door open wider, stepping inside with Korin close behind her. I licked over my lips and slowly scooted up against the headboard.

"How you feel?" Eliana asked.

"I'm cool for right now. I'm hungry though."

She chuckled. "Of course, but you're in the care of Kori now. I'm getting out of here. Don't be hard on her, she's had a long day."

"I'm an angel."

"Psh." Korin scoffed. "Be safe, Eli."

"I will."

Eliana walked out of my room leaving it to Korin and I. Korin removed her jacket then sat down on the edge of my bed. Her face was glammed up with makeup, but her hair was in a messy, curly ponytail. It made me think of Eliana's statement.

"You worked today?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I shot a makeup campaign. Would you like to eat pizza and wings? I stopped and picked some up on my way here."

"Let me guess...Dominos?"

She sheepishly smirked. "Yes."

"Some things just don't change huh? And yes, I would love some. I feel starved."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"I couldn't eat after midnight so last night."

She stood up from the bed. "Alright I'll go and get it."

"Nah, I wanna go down there." I sat up and she gave me a skeptical look. "I've been in this bed since I've gotten home. I need to get up and move."

"Please don't fall, Giovanni."

She reached over toward the wall and grabbed my crutches. I took them from her hands after I successfully swung mg legs over the edge of the bed. With the help of the crutches, I pulled myself up.

"You don't have to be scared, Korin." the look on her face read that she was mortified.

"Gio, you just had surgery on your knee and you're trying to go down a set of stairs. I think I have every right to be. You know what? Just sit back down."

"No. I want to go downstairs. Come on." I started to make my way toward the door.

"Please Giovanni. I feel like you're going to fall or put too much pressure on your knee so get back in the bed."

Rather than respond to her, I kept walking out of the room. I could hear her smack her teeth and deeply sigh from behind me. I carefully took my time and eased my way down the stairs. So that I wouldn't put any pressure on my knee, I held it out and made my other leg do all of the work.

Once I made it to the bottom of the stairs, I looked back at Korin who had her hands over her mouth. "See. I'm perfectly fine."

"You're annoying is what you are." she walked past me. "Have a seat on the couch. I put the food in the kitchen."

I made my way to the couch and sat down on it. I propped my crutches up against the arm of the couch then noticed the stack of mail on the table. I was about to sift thru it until Korin handed me a plate with two slices of pizza and a couple of wings.

"Thank you." I muttered, propping my leg on the table. She reached forward and placed one of the throw pillows under it for better support. "Thank you."

I leaned my body back into the cushion and began to eat. Eliana had left the tv on and it looked as if Thor was coming to an end. A few minutes into watching the movie, I noticed that Korin's movement was quite limited. She wasn't really moving. I glanced over at her to see that she was repeatedly dipping her pizza in the ranch while staring off into space.

"Kori?" she didn't respond. "Korin?"

"Hm?"

"You okay? You're dazed out over there."

She cleared her throat. "Um, yeah. Sorry."

"You sure?" I watched her bite into her pizza as if she no longer wanted it.

"Yeah, I'm cool. I'll be back. I need to make a quick call." she sat her plate down and disappeared toward the kitchen.

I put my attention back on the television but somehow my eyes landed back on the stack of mail. I leaned forward as best as I could to grab it. I flipped through each bill until my eyes landed on an envelope with my mother's name on it. Manuela Hoffman.

Rather than tear it open, I stared at her neat handwriting with only two thoughts on my mind: How did she have my address and why was she writing rather than visiting. After a few seconds, I ripped it open and pulled the two sheets of paper out. I unfolded them, revealing her cursive.

To my sweet Giovanni Senor,

I know that it's been years since I've seen your sweet face and Lord knows I miss you. The latter may be a contradiction to the fact you haven't seen me nor heard from me, but it's the honest truth. That is why I want you to read everything I have to say before you crumble this up in anger. For starters, I want you to know that I love you with every ounce of my being. Hurt and alcohol aren't a good mixture especially when it leads to drugs and that is what happened. Your mother is an addict. I've always kept that away from you because I didn't want you to look at me any different. Your love what the purest love I had and I wanted to cling to that as tight as I could. But the conviction of your father took me back to a place I feared ever going. I don't want you to think my abandonment had anything to do with you. You're an angel, you've been my angel since I found out you were coming into this world. Believe it or not you're the reason I took the step to get clean. Three years ago I was told that you'd been searching for me and to know you still loved me, I saw the light. It took a year and a half for me to fully commit and push thru the withdrawals but I'm clean.