Megan Thee Stallion blasted from my portable speaker while we were poolside. Following along with the lyrics, I grabbed my ankles to bend over then squatted down just in time to pop my ass to the bows. I peeked over my shoulder at Eliana who was hyping me up with her phone out.

"Hot girl shit, bitch!" she put the camera all in my face, causing me to burst out in laughter.

Today was the last day that I had to casually hang out. In the morning, everything would pick up as far as work is concerned and I would seem off the map to my friends. Therefore, I made it my priority to use today as a day for us to hang out by the pool and have some fun in the sun.

So far, we were having the time of our lives. Both Eliana and Noelle were sipping on Noey's famous Daiquiris while I nursed a bottle of water. We'd also made empanadas to devour as time by passed. It was something small, cheap, and easy for us to enjoy while not losing too much energy. We were actually able to unwind from our week.

"When did you learn to bounce that lil ass?" Eli rewatched the video a few times. "Let me find out Asani loosening you up."

"Ha!" Noelle laughed causing Eliana to smile, but I knew the true meaning behind her laugh.

"I been knew how to dance."

"Yeah, you had the moves down but that ass wasn't moving like this. I'm proud though sissy."

"Just wait until I get a lil thicker. That's when I'll show out and really show y'all what I'm working with." I stood up and jiggled my thighs.

"Bitchhhh." Noelle smacked my ass. "Do it again. Itty bitty know how to do a lil some."

"And do." I pursed my lips.

The pool's entrance door could be heard opening then closing. Eliana glanced over in the direction. "You have a guest Korin."

I turned my head and there was Asani coming toward us with a bouquet of flowers. To keep the conversation private, I met him hallway then gently pushed him a little further away.

"Did you get my messages?" he questioned.

"I did and I think it's unfair that when I want to sit down and speak with you, you can walk out but I'm just supposed to jump when you're ready to talk."

"I wasn't expecting you to jump at my call. I just wanted to be sure that I hadn't ruined anything with you. That was an important conversation and I shouldn't have walked out on it. Bruised ego or not."

"No you shouldn't have." he extended the flowers to me. "Am I supposed to forgive you because you brought me flowers?"

"And because I'm sorry. I heard everything you said to me and I promise I will improve. I'll be all ears next time."

I stared into his hazelnut colored eyes and couldn't help the small smile that grazed my face. He was hard to deny or even be made at when he possessed such a handsome face.

I grabbed the flowers from him, causing him to lowly sigh and give me a smile. "I forgive you and we'll talk more tonight but I'm having a day dedicated to my girls."

"That's fine. Just let me know when I can come back over."

"Okay."

He placed his hand on my lower back and pulled me into him for a lingering kiss. Afterward, he waved to the girls and made his way back out of the pool gate. With my flowers in hand, I trailed back to my spot and took a seat in my chair.

"Aw, just because flowers?" Eliana asked.

"Nah, I was a little annoyed with him so this was his making up for it. But off of me for a minute. What ever happened to that tech guy you were dating? You haven't mentioned him."

"That's because he's out of the picture."

"Why?" wondered Noelle.

"Because he doesn't know how to talk to people forreal. I almost punched that nigga in his mouth a few times. I'm done dating for a while because something in the water got these niggas tripping."

"I'll always be here waiting my love." Noelle sipped her drink. Eliana glanced over at her. "I'll give you all the time you need but just know, what you're looking for lies right here."

"Oop. You better quit playing with Noey, Eli."

Eliana kept quiet, picking up her drink and taking a sip of it. I knew that meant she was now in her head weighing the outcomes of her and Noelle. She liked to pretend that she wasn't attracted to Noelle but we all knew better. Whether she accepted it or not.

"New subject. Have you spoken to Giovanni? Is he recovering well?" Eliana looked at me.

"No, I've called him but he hasn't answered me. I don't want to smother him." my phone began to ring on the table beside me and it was Jeffery. "Let me take this. Hello?"

"When did you and the Asani guy break up?"

"We haven't broken up. Why would you ask me that?"

"Well according to social media you're dating some baseball player by the name of Giovanni Hoffman. There's photos of y'all out in his car and out for lunch or something."

"What? On what?"

"Twitter and Instagram. The Shaderoom posted them and people on Twitter are shipping y'all. A girl even said she saw you pick him up from a party in Newark."

I placed him on speaker and opened my Instagram app immediately typing Shaderoom into my search bar. It was the third post and the very first picture was of me driving his car the night I picked him up. The second picture was from when I met up with him to express my anger about our past. Model #KorinAlexander and baseball player #GiovanniHoffman have been spotted together for the past month and are rumored to be dating👀. I opened the comment section and was surprised by the positive comments.

"Wow, I went to high school with them and they were glued at the hip. Glad to see they made their way back." one of the comments caught my attention.

"You know him from high school?" Jeffery's voice startled me. I'd forgotten he was on the phone.

"Yeah. Let me call you back, Jeff." I ended the call then scrolled thru my contacts for Giovanni.

"What happened?" Eliana frowned in curiosity.

"Shaderoom posted Giovanni and I and are suspecting that we're dating."

"What? Nuh uh." she grabbed her phone and so did Noelle to go and look for themselves.

As they did so, my phone rang and rang awaiting Giovanni's answer. He didn't pick up. I called him once more and rather than ring out, it was declined. An immediate frown took over my face. He was ignoring me.

Ever since the day of his surgery and the day his mother wrote him, I hadn't heard anything from him. I'd been trying to reach out to him but much like now, I wasn't getting anything. It gave me the urge to stop by his place and check on him, but I wasn't sure if that would be appropriate. However, I was worried. Old Giovanni wasn't good at sorting his feelings and when he couldn't, he'd lose control. He may have gotten better at it but I was scared that he hadn't and he needed someone by his side.

"I want to go and check on Gio. He's ignoring my phone calls."

"Maybe he just wants a little space, Korin." Noelle attempted to reason.

"You don't know Giovanni. He lashes out when he can't pinpoint his feelings and I'm scared of what he may be doing or thinking."

"He's older now. I'm pretty sure he can figure out how he's feeling."

"I'm going over there. Y'all can either join me or stay here." I stood up and grabbed my dress to put back on.

The two of them stood up with a sigh and followed behind me out of the gate to the parking garage. I climbed inside of my car and instantly backed out to make my way toward Gio's penthouse. I'd rather go over to his place and meet rage than allow him to ignore me and find out terrible news.

Both Eliana and Noelle knew they wouldn't be able to talk me into turning around therefore, they sat back quietly. I, on the other hand, was thinking of reasons why he would be ignoring me. He asked for his space and I gave it to him but why ignore me in the process? It wasn't like I was blowing his phone up for answers.

Once I made it, I tapped against the door hard enough to be heard from his bedroom. Nervousness coursed through my body in fear of the worst but I kept a brave face.

"Who is it?" a woman's voice called.

"Korin." the door opened and I was met by a Zulay Henao doppelgänger. She gave me a small, closed smile and leaned against the door. "Is Giovanni up?"

"He is, but he told me not to let you in."

"Did he now?" I pursed my lips. "I'm sorry, you are?"

"Brielle."

"Nice to finally meet you, but I really don't care what Giovanni said to do. He thinks he's slick and he's not." I gently yet aggressively pushed my way into the penthouse.

"Um, excuse me but...."

I ignored what all Brielle had to say and marched toward the living room in search for Gio. The couches were all empty so I made my way toward the kitchen. That's where I found him, sitting at the island with his recovering leg propped up on another stool. He turned his head in my direction then rolled his eyes with the smack of his teeth.

"Pardon?" I walked over to him.

"Gio I can make her leave if you want me to." Brielle appeared, pointing at me.

"I wish you could. What can I do for you, Korin?"

"I came to make sure you were okay but if I'm unwanted, you can look at me and tell me that. I won't overstep."

He sat quiet, poking at the sausage on his plate. "I'm fine, I was ignoring your calls for a reason."

"And can you explain that reason to me please?" once again, he focused on the sausage but chose to remain silent this time. "I'm scared for you, Gio. I know time has passed and you've changed but some habits are hard to break and I'm not sure if this time will be different from the last time."

"I'm cool."

"Can you look at me and say that? Look me in the eyes and tell me that you're okay and I'll leave you be."

"Korin can you just go!? I said I'm cool bro. That ain't enough for you?"

Talk about a hit to the heart, that's what I felt when those words left his mouth. It was obvious that he wanted to work thru everything he was going thru with the help of his ex-fiancé and not me. We weren't in the same comfortable space as we were once before. I was his person in the past but the spot had been Brielle's for the past two years. This was rightfully her business to take care of and aid. Not mine.

Therefore, I reached into my purse and handed him a stack of blank envelopes. They were the letters he'd written to his mother over the first year and a half of her absence. He'd never mailed them because no one knew where she was and they were just the feelings he wanted to relieve himself of. However, he'd given them to me one day to burn but rather than doing so, I kept them. I'd ran across them when I went back home and decided to bring them with me to New York.

"These may help you figure out what you're feeling." I placed them on the counter.

I had no reason to stick around so, I made my exit. As I waited on the elevator to reach me, tears attempted to form. I hated repeating history and I could see that Giovanni was fifteen year old him at the moment. He was back in that place of pain. Not only did it ache my heart, but him not wanting me there did hurt me as well. It's quite understandable but I knew what it was like for him the first round so I was unsure of how he'd take round two. I wanted to be the barrier of pain or at least walk him thru it like I'd done before. Yet, he didn't want it.

and I'd been confided to my bedroom watching my teammates continue the journey to the world series. Did it make me feel any better? No, but it was much better than thinking about anything else at the moment. I'd rather focus on my boys making me proud and showing me that they could carry the weight of the team without me. Everything else was negativity.

There was no reason for me to sit and dwell on it any longer. All it was doing was taking me to a dark place that I refused to be. Being in the dark wasn't my strong suit so I was trying my hardest to make sure I didn't sink there ever again. As much as I love my mother, she didn't deserve that power over me again. Not after almost eleven years of absence.

The sound of my phone ringing caused me to lower the volume on the tv and reach over for it. It was an incoming Facetime call from Eliana.

"Wassup?" I answered, allowing both of our faces to appear on the screen.

"How are you feeling? Did you make it to your second follow up appointment?"

"Yeah, Brielle took me." I scratched at my chest. "And I'm feeling alright. I've just been chilling."

"Good, don't be on it too much. Just wait until your recovery training starts. But I was actually calling to see whether you've spoken to Korin?"

"If you're asking me that, it means you already know the answer."

"Well I just want to know why you're pushing her away. I thought you two were all good again and back to best friends y'all used to be. What happened?"

"Her presence is too overwhelming man and I just need my space from her right now. It's not like I'm mad at her or anything."

"Are you serious? You don't think your presence overwhelms her? Y'all being around each other brings back dark shit for the both of y'all, but that doesn't mean push her away Gio. Especially not after you begged her to come back into your life."

"I'm not pushing her way. I just need my space to think this thru alone."

"Alone? When did you kick your ex to the curb?"

I huffed. "If you know all of this, I'm guessing she's pissed."

"She's not necessarily pissed, more so hurt. She didn't want to go into detail with me so I guess it's personal between y'all two, but you hurt her feelings."

I ran a hand down my face, staring up at the ceiling. The last thing I meant to do was hurt Korin's feelings. Brielle was the only person who's known of my recent pain from my mother's absence. She knew how bad I wanted my mother to reappear into my life. Especially now that I had the means to give her the world and make sure she never wanted for anything.

It was first instinct for me to relay the news to her and accept her words and comfort. Not to mention, I missed her. Sure I wasn't what she wanted and I was coming to terms with that, but she was who I wanted there. It had nothing to do with Korin personally, but I guess she saw otherwise and I understand. Back when we were ying and yang, she was that go-to person and I'd invited her back into my life so she expected for that to remain. However, my heart didn't lead me to call her and I couldn't control that.

"I'll call her." I sighed.

"You probably won't reach her. It's almost Fashion Week so she'll be nearly impossible to get in touch with. Just make sure when she reaches out again, you don't slap her hand away."

"Yeah, I got you."

"And take care of yourself, Giovanni. Not to be a Debby Downer but I'm pretty sure your team will not make it to the series without you. So get better for next season."

"Bye Eliana." I chuckled, ending the call.

I sat my phone down beside me and glanced beside me over at the letter my mother sent. I still hadn't read everything. To be honest, I was scared she would say something that would ruin the fact that she's clean. However, I knew that I needed to if I wanted to suck it up and face the music with my chin up. I sighed and picked the second page up to continue what she'd said.

Not only am I clean, but I've gotten myself together completely thanks to someone special in my life. No, I'm not in a relationship and living some fairytale without you, but I did have a son amid my absence. Yes, he's a child of poor circumstances but he's perfect and reminds me so much of you. I would love for you to come visit us in Panama City. He knows all about his big brother and is so excited to meet you. I also miss you and want to see you in person. The big screen isn't enough for me. I want to be able to hug and kiss my big baby and hear about everything that I've missed. I also want you to tell me of all the pain I caused because I know I left a wound. I'm prepared for the rage and hurt so whenever you're ready to unleash it. This is my address.

Get back to me soon baby,

Mama <3

Once again, I tossed the letter aside and scratched my head. I was really on the fence about my feelings toward my mother. Of course there was relief for the fact she's clean and safe, but I was also angry and sad. Angry that she chose that path and sad that I'm angry with her. The knowing of another child also saddened me because that meant she was out in the streets while pregnant. Alone and scrambling up scraps day by day for survival.

It was the only assumption I could possible think of. If she had been with any family, they would have contacted me like I'd asked. At least I thought they would. Especially since they knew how much I loved her and wanted her to return to me in one piece. All of it was up in the air and if I kept it that way, I'd probably drive myself crazy from assumptions.

A tap sounding on my bedroom door broke me from my thoughts. I looked in that direction, to see my father standing with a picture in his hands. "I can come in?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

He entered and sat on the edge of my bed. "This is a picture of the day your mother committed to her sobriety. She was nineteen years old and as you can see, I was happy as hell for her. Addiction isn't as easy as you may think it is son. It's a everlasting battle and she fought long and hard. Yes, she fucked up and relapsed then made you pay for it but she's trying to repent and help you heal from her faults."

"I just don't know what to say to her. When I was younger, I knew every single word that I wanted to throw her way. And though I would give her a piece of my mind, I knew for a fact that I would hug her as tight as I could to let her know she didn't have to leave again. Now? I don't know."