the sun was out and beaming beautifully. Yet it wasn't enough to uplift my gloomy mood. Today would be the day I sit down and talk with Giovanni and my anxiety had gotten the best of me. It had me up all night and played a large part in why I was running behind on our scheduled time. I was scared to face him.

The moment I rounded the corner, I spotted him sitting at one of the outdoor tables glancing around. A cap was on his head but because he was facing me, I could easily depict him.

The sound of my sandals slapping the heel of my feet caused him to look forward, directly at me. His eyes lit up in excitement but he managed to keep a straight face. I assumed it was because of my dismissal in our last two encounters.

Once I reached the table, I took a seat in the chair opposite of him and sat my purse beside my thigh. "Goodmorning."

"Goodmorning." he adjusted his hat. "I didn't order anything, I told the waiter to come back incase you wanted something."

"Okay." we then grew quiet. I knew I should have been the first to speak since I was the one with the issue, but the words were lodged in my throat. I didn't want to make him feel bad for going after his happiness but I did want him to know of my pain.

"So are you going to explain to me how I ghosted you?" he took the step to start the conversation.

I deeply inhaled and exhaled. "You left Orlando without a trace, Giovanni. No type of letter or note telling me you were gone or how I could keep in touch. Nothing. You left me with nothing."

"I said my goodbye to you, Korin."

"No you didn't. You had sex with me then disappeared a few hours later. Your decision to leave wasn't official, at least that's what you told me. You said you were thinking about it."

"I thought I told you afterwards that my mind had been made up. I didn't want to leave you but being at that lady house was killing me and you know it."

"Yes, that is why I accepted it but I didn't think we would have sex and I also didn't think you wouldn't tell me goodbye. It tore me apart, Gio. I laid in that bed every night, crying, thinking what did I do wrong? He wouldn't do me like that. I even thought you gave a note or something to one of your cousins to give to me but they said you hardly made it home before you were being dropped off at the airport."

He pulled on his hat. "I'm sorry, Korin. Maybe I thought the sex was a goodbye, I don't know but I always thought I gave you that."

The waiter approached the table with a warm smile causing me to give her one back. I only ordered a water and Giovanni decided to keep his side clear of anything. Almost instantly, she returned with my drink and left, giving us our privacy again.

I took a few sips from the water to take my time and gather all of my words.

"My depression got the best of me when you left." I started back up twirling the straw around. "You were always the reason I woke up in the mornings, literally since you liked to throw things at my window or knock on the front door for me. But you also let me dream outside of sleeping and that was what I needed back then....To be me. Then when I lost that, I turned into an angry person. No one in the house liked me. I was the bitch in the house and they all made sure to steer clear of me. Courtland didn't even like talking to me."

At the mention and thought of my brother, tears formed in my eyes. I closed them to try and regain control over my emotions. I needed to get everything out before I released any tears.

"My brother died hating me. He died thinking the absolute worst of me and...." I covered my face unable to keep the tears at bay. It was the first time I'd said the words aloud. I thought of them plenty but to say them hit me even harder. "I-I didn't even get to tell him I loved him because I was being self centered."

Courtland was my mom's second child, making him my second older brother. He and I were far more closer than Justice, my other brother and I, merely because of the age difference. Courtland was only eleven months older than me. Majority of the time, people assumed we were fraternal twins from our similiar features and bond. However, that bond fell apart when I fell apart.

A year after I turned for the worst, Courtland was stabbed to death a few blocks away from our home. He had been mistaken for another kid that had gotten on the bad side of a gang in that area. It was one of the worst nights of my life to this day. He and I weren't even on speaking terms because the last thing I'd said to him was degrading.

Giovanni came around the table, lifted me up and wrapped his arms around me. He hugged me so tight that I could hardly breathe, but it was comforting more than anything. I stood there in his large arms, feeling as if he'd shielded me with a blanket. Without even using his words, he was telling me that it was going to be okay.

"I'm sorry, Korin. I'm so sorry." he pulled back looking me in the eyes, showcasing his own which were misty.

I stepped back from him wiping my eyes clear of my tears. I cleared my throat then spoke again. "I don't want you to feel bad for anything that happened with me. That was all on me. I just wanted you to understand why I wasn't welcoming to you."

"What do you mean? You lost your brother, Kori." he thumbed away the tears that continued to slip. "And y'all were close, I know you're hurting."

"Yeah but I'll be fine. This conversation was supposed to be about us and what went wrong."

"There's nothing that I can do to rewrite what happened. All I can do is be here for you again like I was before. Things are different for us now. Plus I missed you. Can we just start over?"

"I don't know, Gio." I grabbed my purse from the chair I sat in previously.

"Cmon, let me make up for the hurt I caused you. You can't tell me you haven't missed us."

"I have." I nodded. "But I'm just not sure right now. We have each other's number so we'll see what happens okay?"

"That's it? You just came here to say that piece and walk away?"

"Yes. You deserved to know why I was throwing you off to the side and now you know. What more do you want?"

"You. I want you back in my life, Korin. I don't want to go another moment knowing that we ain't talking. Just sit back down and talk to me."

I looked at him for a minute, debating on whether I wanted to actually sit back down. He was practically begging me with his eyes and I couldn't front like I didn't want to know what was happening in his life. Therefore, I ignored the voice in the back of my mind telling me to leave and sat back down.

He reclaimed his chair as well. "Thank you."

"Your girlfriend knows where you are?" I couldn't help but to let him know that I knew that piece of information.

"No, she's at work. Your dude knows where you are?"

"I'm single so I answer to no one."

"I find that hard to believe." he twisted his lips. "You have to at least be dating someone. I know you Korin."

"Meaning what?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Someone's on your body heavy. You're hard not to love so somebody is trying to wife you up out here."

I softly chuckled. "I am dating someone if you must know."

"What's his name?"

"Does that matter?"

"Yes because we're talking remember? You don't know how to hold a conversation anymore?"

"What's your girlfriend's name?" I threw back at him.

"She's actually my fiancé but its Brielle."

"Fiancé?" I was taken aback and slightly offended that he was in a serious relationship. "Wow, she must be a very special woman. When's the wedding? You're excited?"

"We don't have a date yet but sometime in the spring. And I don't know if excited is the word...."

"What are you nervous? You shouldn't be nervous if you really see yourself with her for the rest of your life. I mean you were the one who purposed right?"

"Yeah I asked but I just don't know what I'm feeling."

"I'm sure it'll pass." I fanned my hand. "Just be sure that is what you really want before legally binding yourself. I've heard divorces can be hell."

"Are you going to tell me about this dude now?" he switched the subject.

I huffed. "His name is Asani."

"As in Asani Clarke from Clarke and Co?"

"Of course you know who he is." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean yeah that's where I get my jewelry from. He always get me right when I need him. Damn you think because I know you, he'll give me a lil discount?"

"Ahaha, you're so funny."

"How long y'all been dating though? You like him?"

"If I didn't like him I wouldn't be dating him, Gio. And we've been dating for a few months now." I shrugged.

"And he hasn't cuffed you yet? He slipping. I know for a fact your DMs are on fire."

"Just a little bit." I dusted my shoulder. "But I'm not interested in anybody else right now. He's enough for me."

"Hm. That's wassup."

"Why the face and the noise?"

He hesitated. "I just...I don't see y'all being a real thing. The Korin I knew would never go for the serious and square type."

"Well for one, I'm not the same Korin and he's not a square." I defended. "He may be a little serious but he's definitely not a square."

"Yeah okay. That man squarer than Carlton from The Fresh Prince. But who am I to determine what you like? You're a grown woman."

"I'm glad that you know that. But he's very sweet and considerate rather he's a 'square' or not. As long as I'm being treated right and enjoying myself I'm okay."

"As it should be. I'm glad he's making you happy." he smiled at me. "You deserve it."

The sound of his phone's alarm blaring made him sigh and turn it off. "Gotta go huh?"

"Yeah, we have a game in California tonight so we gotta jump on the plane." he stood up. "Come give me a hug."

"Not with those cooties. I'm good." I teased.

"Man chill out, what are you five?"

"I'm four actually." I stood, placing my purse on my shoulder while also rounding the table to give him a hug.

I stepped into his space and wrapped my arms around his waist. He locked his large arms around me, causing me to mindlessly rest my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling. The hug was nostalgic.

After what felt like eternity, he pulled back planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you later alright?"

"Be safe."

"You too."

We walked away in opposite directions. On my walk back to my car, I didn't know exactly how to feel. I knew that I was unsure about rebuilding a friendship with him at first, but after our short talk I'd changed my mind. I wanted to know everything about him again. To stay up all hours of the night gazing at the stars talking or merely basking in one another's company.

He brought back the memories of a much simpler time. A time where I knew I was in love with him but I wasn't even pressed to be with him. His company and companionship was enough to make me happy. I didn't care about anyone else in his life because I knew at the end of the day, he and I would always be one.

It may have been different now that we were older and had other people in our lives, but I was willing to be in that space again. The space where his friendship was enough to make me happy.

Chazmon advised from his seat beside me.

We were in California and it was two hours before the game was supposed to start up. Our team went out on the field to practice and warm up where I wound up hurting myself. I was practicing my batting when I swung wrong and placed too much weight upon my left leg. It was like I felt my muscle tear and knee pop out of place, but I didn't want the injury to be true.

"Nah because then she'll tell me to sit out and we don't need that right now. If we beat them I'll rank will go up and it's a better chance at the series."

"I know that but you still need to get checked out. It could be serious bro. You done pulled your ACL before."

"Aight, aight." I eased up from my seat.

He stood up as well throwing my arm across his shoulder to help me get to the trainer's room. It wasn't hard for me to walk but I was sure he wanted help take as much pressure off of it as possible.

Inside of the trainer's room was our team trainer Maria and of course the opposing team's trainer. The two of them were seemingly flirting but it quickly ceased upon my entrance. Maria rushed to my aid, watching me attentively to try and read what was going on with me.

"Gio what happened?" she frowned, her Puerto Rican accent flowing like water off of her tongue. "Is it a cramp?"

"I was practicing my swing when I put too much weight on this leg and kind of twisted too hard."

"Uh oh. Let's pray you didn't tear your ACL again. I don't want to hear you crying about sitting out."

"He done already started." said Chad.

"Shut the hell up. Don't you need to be out there with everybody else warming up still?"

"Oh I'm being dismissed? That real." he faked hurt while making his way out of the room.

Maria began to question me on the amount of rest I had been getting, my diet, and amount of exercise. All while listening to my responses, she moved my leg around which was painful. I tried to mask the intensity of the pain but it was no use. She knew how to read me when I was in physical pain.

She slowly released my leg and gave me a look which caused me to sigh. "I'm sorry Giovanni but you're out. Your ACL is torn again so you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor for an MRI and I'm pretty sure you'll need surgery."

I threw my head back. "You think it's completely torn?"

"Yes." she nodded.

"Damn man....Aight." I sighed.

"Don't beat yourself up, Gio. You'll be alright and you'll recover in no time."

"Thank you, Maria. Can you let Coach know for me?"

"Why you in here and not out on the field Hoffman?" Coach walked inside just on time. "What's going on? You caught a cramp?"

"Maria say I tore my ACL and may need surgery."

He rested his hand under his chin. "Ahh, alright. How you feeling? You think you need to get on the first plane back home?"

"No, I want—"

"Yes! He needs to see his doctor immediately. There is no time for him to sit on this injury." Maria cut in.

"Alright. We'll find the earliest flight leaving tonight and get you on it. Make sure you get well, Gio. We want to see you come back okay?"

"Yes sir." I nodded as he pat my shoulder then walked out.

I laid back against the table pretty upset that I allowed myself to get injured during the season. Though I had been in the gym doing the required exercises to prevent injury, I hadn't been resting well enough. Rest plays an important role in muscle recovery and with my insomnia I wasn't getting much. Now I was paying the repercussions.

An hour passed before I was being taken out of the trainer's room to our hotel for my belongings. I gathered my things from upstairs and made it back down to the car to be transported to the airport. My flight was due to leave within two hours, and it felt as if those two hours came around rather quickly because before I knew it, I was back in New York.

I pushed the door to my condo closed and decided to leave my bags at the door. All of the downstairs lights were off and it was still as if no one was here.

"Bri!" I shouted heading toward the bottom of the staircase. "Bri! You here!?"

When I was about to startup the stairs, she appeared in one of my shirts and flipped the light on near the stairs. "What are you doing home?"

"So you haven't seen any of my messages? I've been calling you too. What you been doing?"

"I just woke up like five minutes ago. What happened? Why are you back so early?"

"I tore my ACL. Where's my Pops?"

"He said he was going out for a few hours to explore the city. And what do you mean you tore your ACL? That means you're out for the season?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Why do you smell like that?" I gently pushed her back.

"What do I smell like?" she smelled the shirt.

"Pussy. You was up there masturbating?"

She shook her head. "No. I just woke up."

Feet patted from behind her causing me to glance further up the stairs. There stood Zina in another one of my shirts. "Oh, hey Giovanni. I thought you were out of town."

"Yo, why does she have my clothes on?" I looked at Brielle.

"I asked her to spend the night with me to keep me company. I was scared to be here alone with your dad, and she didn't have pajamas so I just gave her one of your shirts."

I looked past her at Zina who wore a smirk on her face with her arms folded. I didn't like the way I felt standing there before the two of them with my clothes on. Something was definitely off. I had a few ideas but I didn't want to just throw accusations out.

"Open your mouth." I told Brielle.

She frowned. "For what?"

"I just want to see something. Say ah."

"No."

"Bri. Open your mouth."

Hesitantly, she opened her mouth. I leaned forward sniffing her breath. When I leaned back, I couldn't help but to laugh. There was nothing funny but I was in pure disbelief.

"How long this has been going on?" I peered up at Zina. I knew she was itching to throw it in my face from the smile now painted across her face.

"Gio what are you talking about?" Brielle attempted to play clueless.

"Don't play dumb, Bri. Y'all up there fucking in my room? Look at her, grinning and shit and you standing here smelling like pure pussy. This what I come home to?"

"That's what happens when you cheat! Rather than cry about it she decided to get even, aha!" Zina finally spoke.

"Cheat?" I drew my neck back. "I cheated on you? Is that what you're claiming?"