Chapter 23.

Find You by Super City

Harry stood by the mic with his head down, while I was sitting outside of the recording booth with Jeff. We waited a couple seconds in silence, waiting to start recording.

I soon heard the bubbly electric guitar Mitch started to pluck, and H started bobbing his head to the beat. I'd never heard the song before, but I found myself swaying along. A breath before he began singing, Harry reached up and put his hands around the mic, leaving his guitar hanging around his neck. My breath hitched the moment he started to sing, my hands finding nothing else to do but fidget with excitement.

"...Rub my eyes, the game is never fair..." He kept his eyes focused down, I was as focused on the crease between his eyebrows as he was the ground. A warm smile grazed my lips as the beat and melody started to warm up, Sarah, Ny Oh, Charlotte, and Sarah humming along.

My eyes made their way around the room, picking up on the little breaths Charlotte took before every start of a note phrase. She was playing a second guitar part for this one, with an acoustic. Ny Oh was playing base actually, something

I didn't hear it the first time for some reason, or I guess the second? I must have been too focused on my own movements or that same crease between his eyebrows, but the minute he looked up at me I heard exactly the words, "'Cause I don't even know your middle name, or where you came from, I know you're the one." The one, wow. The.

He was having so much fun with the song itself, which only made me giggle harder and dance much more extravagantly seeing as he was too.

I leaned over to Jeff, "What's this one called?"

"He hasn't decided yet, actually. Don't tell him I said this but he has a major thing for songs named after people, I think he's just waiting to ask you." Jeff shrugged as my put a hand to my mouth, then turning to H again.

"No I never never never thought that you could ever be true..." He tilted his head, surely wondering what I was so surprised about. I merely grinned and threw my arms up as I spun around. Harry had a way with his songs that you could easily pick up on, they were always just catchy enough to be singing along to by the end. Yeah, he's had some songs that are heavier on the lyrics. This one was only meant to dance to, meant to look at someone with disgusting heart eyes to. It was sweet with a hint of Harry's favorite, a guitar interlude.

...

Carina by James Hunter

"...I have a meeting tonight," He sighed. "That's alright, I have work." It was only for a couple of minutes to clean up and close, but I thought that having the time to write tonight would be perfect. He nodded, cleaning up the studio to leave. "Oh, and I found a new song I think you'd like." I smiled brightly, remembering.

"Well then you have to show me as soon as possible. On the way to your place?" I nodded.

...

"Why are you getting all shy all of the sudden?" He asked as I put my phone on the aux, finding the song. It was Carina by James Hunter. I smiled, biting my lower lip as I blushed. "I am a shy person, Harry."

"I feel like that's not true." He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows with sarcasm.

He continued, "I, for one, happen to think you're very brave." I laughed at his statement, never seeing myself quite as that. "No really, I'm so serious, Darby."

"You hardly even care about the paps or the media, that kind of crap terrifies me. I guess you don't have to care as much about the media, they seem to love you."

"They love you a lot more than me," I giggled, shuffling my feet. It wasn't very difficult to do, I knew his fanbase was massive. I didn't often think about the media in the first place, but I hoped that I wasn't being portrayed as some perfect model girl who happened to snag him. I hoped I was at least being portrayed as kind. Nothing fake, nothing boring, just realistic and kind. All they could do was assume so I could always fear the worst, though it was exhausting and I decided not to care. Which is a little odd. Because I did overthink nearly everything. Luckily my mum always emphasized not caring about my appearance. Even when I went through my phases of not listening and caring anyways, she is the reason I've made it to now.

And I definitely didn't "snag" him, the fact that my brain thought up that disgusted me. I did happen to become his friend, who knows how.

Though I was a little lost in thought, I was pulled back by Harry absolutely loving the song I was playing. I loved that he loved it, it was my favorite thing ever. It's the best feeling when someone likes a song you show them.

"I'll steal your heart away in time, It's only fair 'cause you have mine. Oh Carina, Don't make me wait too long... Good things will come to those who wait, but too long, will be too late."

Harry turned to me quickly, his eyes widened. "Are you trying to tell me something?" "What?" I didn't mean to, but as I realized the lyrics I'd been humming to, I made the connection.

"Oh, I... I didn't mean to." I stuttered. He laughed out loud a huge "Ha!"

The song sounds an awful lot like Harry's brain, doesn't it. That was awfully thoughtless of me, wasn't it. "That's alright, I have a song to show you too." He said as the song ended.

Puzzle Pieces by Saint Motel

"Oh my— uh- the PIANO." Was the first the I said, instantly shocked as I threw my hands once more to my mouth.

"I knew you'd love it!!!" He said, getting excited as he yelled over the song that he'd already turned up the volume to. I watched him get excited a lot, paying oddly close attention to whatever I saw in his eyebrows when they'd raise up recklessly or the crinkle between them or the crinkle that matched it when he scrunched up his nose. I also saw it in the way he kept showing me things that made him happy... knowing that they'd make me feel the same.

"Your face is canvas and your own body serves as your easel..." he sang, and loudly. It was like I couldn't control my own self, I laughed so warmly, feeling like the sun in what was now the late evening, driving through crowded streets of Florence. And suddenly I felt warm streaks falling down my cheeks as I was lost in bubbling laughter.

"Oh my god, you're crying." He stopped, immediately concerned, turning the music down, though only a little bit because I knew it was his favorite part.

"No no no. I'm just happy." I grinned genuinely. I reach over, turning the music back up. "Now listen to the guitar riff!" He paused as he looked over at me. And for a second that's all that there was there, I had no business worrying if I was doing something wrong, there was no bouncing my leg and no fidgeting my fingers. I didn't have to fix my hair in fear or distraction, it was hardly me in my selfish mind, I watched him and I watched his eyes and I watched them tell me everything I needed to hear. I also watched them realize that he was driving and still needed to focus on the road.

"OH my-" I lost myself once more but only into fully wholesome laughter.

...

After getting back from the café, I hardly slept even a bit. A couple times, I lost my groove and drifted but a glass of disgusting orange juice helped.

For, I'd say the first time but I've pulled a number of all nighters writing and they all feel completely and absolutely extravagant (though it does often take a toll the next day), I felt lost in my work. And this time it was a perfectly good thing. I've been lost my whole life, it's not hard to admit. I lost myself a couple times, lost my sanity more than once, my dignity maybe a time or two, I've surely felt lost in my writing before but only because I had no clue where I was going with it. Now was a kind of mesmerized lost that spilled words onto a page for me. And I wrote for hours and saw the sun rise and wrote more because of it.

I wrote letters, too.

I wrote my mum a letter, I wrote Anna a letter, I wrote my dad a letter. I wrote Harry a letter. Though I cried awfully writing to my dad, it felt lovely to cry.

I feel that Harry's letter had the most bit of significance to me. What a shame he'll never see. He would think it was quite beautiful.

Dear Harry,

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