KIARA POV

1 DAY LATER, SUNDAY EVENING

When you are younger, you wish to look like your mother, you pray to God that she just stays with you forever and you want to give the same motherly love to your children. This was not the case for me, never. Sometimes I do wonder if I inherit her vicious heart and mind that did no good to anyone but then I realized that a satan is not born, he is created.

This is what I want to know. Why did she never stay? Loved me? Why did she turn so cold and hate towards me?

" Namaste maa. " I say as soon as I look at Usha Singh. Maa was always a beautiful woman and to date except for a few experience lines, she looks as stunning as ever.

Her lips tremble as she takes my whole body in. She clutches the dupatta ( shawl ) in her hands and brings it to her mouth as a sob breaks out of her.

I promised myself that I would not cry but when my mother is standing right in front of me a forlorn expression on her face I could not help myself. I choke on a load of emotions and a lump gets stuck in my making it hard for me to utter a single word. I look behind her back at Manav who is retreating and gestures a ' phone ' as he leaves.

" Why are you standing maa, come inside? " I say with a wavering voice but she just stands there, a crying mess.

" Maa, it's cold in Delhi nowadays. " I try again lifting my hand to hold her hand but eventually decide against it.

" I am ashamed... look at the audacity to come at your doorstep. " She heaves as she says it. I can't agree more.

" You came from Indore just to stand at the doorstep. " I tilt my head looking at her calculatingly.

" Kiara....my baby. " Her hands shake as she brings them on my head. I take a deep breath, leaning into the warmth. I missed it. Now more than ever.

" Maa...please just come inside. " I said softly looking at her red swollen eyes. She walks past me slowly as I close the door shut and sit right across her. Maa looks around the house with a smile as her face reflects pride. Is she proud of me?

" You have come a long way. " She says finally setting her eyes on me.

" I have. " I nod in affirmation.

" I have no role in what you have become. I forsake you and all the responsibilities when you were 18.

Today, when I look at you you know what I see? " She continues confidently. I imagined various scenarios in my head about how the conversation is going to go down but this is not what I was expecting. Maa was always forthright.

" What? " I ask curiously.

" I do not see a mistake. I do not see you as a result of my young womanly whims, I don't see what they thought you are, a bastard because you were always way more than what they thought in their narrow minds. You are always bigger than them, their cheap minds. " She says with disdain. My mind is working frantically, trying to grasp every word.

' Mistake '

' Bastard '

" Wha..what are you saying maa. Who is a mistake, what young adventures, who is a bastard... " My voice waivers.

I can feel it in my bones that my life would change tonight.

" You .. they thought keeping you, birthing you would be the biggest mistake of my life but I fought for you.

Every day it was a constant struggle to save you from all of them but, I lost.

Kiara baby there was no hope left... I had to let you go. " She shakes her head as if to block all the memories.

" I don't get it maa ... what are you talking about? " I raise my voice to get her attention.

" I'll tell you a story. " A new glimmer arises in her eyes as if paving a way for a hopeful future.

_____

" I was 17 when I first met your father. He was the most charming man I ever saw in my life, he could make my day brighter with a smile. " She looks at nothing in particular but a satisfactory smile never leaves her face.

" I was not doing well in Maths, I was not good.... thank god you have your father's brain. " She laughs looking at me. My father was a shopkeeper.

Something does not sit well in this story.

" He was the new intelligent boy who just moved to Bhopal as his father was setting up a new branch there. All the girls got instantly besotted with him but he never gave any attention rather he would respectfully decline whenever a girl approached him. I was a shy, timid girl and someone who was not known. " I could easily place myself in her shoes.

" But one day he came up to me when I was scratching my head to solve a problem. He simply sat in front of me, took out a pen, and then started teaching me. You know I did not understand a word he said because I was busy staring at him with a shocked expression. The whole class was empty as they all went for their sports period but I was trying hard to pass the unit test, I was forced to take maths in high school for a better future. " Maa scoffs at the last word but I was listening to her, keeping the myriad questions to myself.

" I could see a smile playing on his lips but he continued solving the problem.

He finally looked up at my shock filled face but you know what he said to me.

' You are very beautiful. That was the first time anyone has ever said that to me but I ignored it given I did not picture myself as a beautiful girl. " She looks like a girl in her teenage, excited to reminiscence all those memories.

" This continued for a whole standard 11. He would stay back with me and help me with maths. I never asked him but he always did. We started talking and every week he would take a piece of my heart, all my insecurities with him. " My mind goes to Arjun, how he would do the same for me and now he fully owns my heart.

" He took me out on my first date at a peanut stall on a chilly day in December but, by the end of it, my father caught us. Needless to say, the first-ever date of my life was a disaster. " Well, mine too.

" I did not talk to him for months...the last year of school was on us. He was failing his tests which were quite shocking given he was the topper student. I felt guilty for being the reason his future might be ruined. He had big dreams, he wanted to be a Pilot. He did not have to work hard you know, his family business was very lucrative ." A weight settles on my heart, this story ...it has happened to me. The scenarios were different but it is all there.

" One day I went to talk to him but he was so cold and mean to me that my heart broke but I did not give up... I finally made him talk to me. That day in the middle of the bustling corridor he said he loves me ... so much, more than his dreams, he sees his future in me, with me. " A tear escapes my eye as I see maa retelling his words meticulously, a loving smile gracing her face.

" I gave in...all of me. I did not want to fight with my heart anymore. Everything fell into place, we went to college together in Mumbai. He changed his mind last minute and opted for business administration and I was with him. He told me we would build a home together, family, kids, and we would run his father's company together and take it to new heights. We became one in every sense of the word, there were no barriers. I knew he is my future ...my Vikram. " She finally looks at me in the eyes as tears fall her face.

" Vi...kk... Vikram? " My father's name is not Vikram.

"Your father...Vikramaditya Singh. " I tremor runs down my body.

" Who is he? .. My father's name is Dilip ... Thakur... Thakur ... how... ? " My limbs fall beside me freely as the new realization dawns me. He is Thakur, I am Singh, maa is Singh, nana Nani is Singh ... Vikramaditya Singh. I always thought being a female I was given ' Singh ' surname.

" He is just a man my family forced upon me ... he claimed to give you his name but you are not his daughter.. you are Vikram's ... I still remember how his body stilled when he saw you in my arms. You were the most beautiful thing, a small pudding. Vikram cried the moment he took you in his arms ... he sat beside me and promised to love us endlessly. He named you Kiara ... he loved that name. " I may have never seen him but what I feel right now is the love a daughter carries for her father ... he was everything I wanted in a father.

" Where is my papa? Maa... I want my papa ...Mujhe papa ke pass Jaana hai...please le Chalo ( I want to go to him...please take me ). " A loud cry erupts out of me as I join my hands close to my heart.

" I am sorry... so sorry for hiding everything from you but my hands were tied. They would take you away from me... I can't lose you too ... I won't survive. " Her body shakes with every cry.

" Lose me too... maa ... what... maa mere papa ( My father). " I rush to him sitting on my knees.

" They killed him...they killed my Vikram....the love of my life. We had everything planned... he had taken over the business, we were ready to get married... he was so happy and proud to show you as his daughter but, they killed him brutally. " Maa holds my hand as my as the strength holding my body together crumbles, my face falls into her lap. My body just stops, tears flow down my face freely but all I feel is numb.

" You know what our mistake was... we loved each other beyond the expectations of society. A male and female should not sleep together before marriage because that is dirty, morally wrong. But that gives me you, how could it be dirty. " Maa kisses the top of my head.

" I was 24, fresh out of college when you were born. I never regretted that you were born out of wedlock, you were our love child, we would get the universe for you. Vikaram would not leave your side, at night when you cried he would be at your side in a second ... you would not sleep until you were in his arms. We hid you from my family...Kiara, they were vultures. What mattered to them was their family honor... not even the happiness of their daughter. I am from Bhopal, my father was a road contractor and he would sit with people from the wrong side of the road. I came back to Bhopal from college but at that time I did not know I was pregnant with you but 4 months later I saw how my body was changing... I was scared of how my parents would react. My mother saw it first, she hit me and pushed me down on the floor so that something would happen to you. I was in pain but I rescued Vikram's place who was elated to hear the news. His parents supported us and made us leave the state ... I gave birth to you in Rajasthan.

We stayed there for almost 1 year before returning to Bhopal in the hope to mend the relations with my family. I carried you to my father who was enraged to see me but it was you, your eyes, red cheeks, the innocence that stopped him. But ..but it was all a facade Kiara ...while they were engaging me..mm... my brothers went to Vikram's place a.... they killed them, Kiara. They killed my love, my heart they killed the father of my child, they killed our future. " I hug her waist in a vice grip.

" Papa.....argggg...papa... " I cry as I have never cried, it feels like my tears would never stop.

" I am here my child...I was not there but I am now... we won. I got justice. He is looking at us, he is so happy, he is smiling at us, he is so proud of his daughter, he loves you so much. " My body does not stop shaking, my father is dead! The man from whom all my life I expected a look of fatherly love, how much I longed for it, I had got it but they took him away. I do not know how he looks, what he talks like but I love him, so much. I want my father back.

" Why maa? Imagine what I went through... I was only 18 when you abandoned me ... you pushed me away, sent me here. Why? " I cry out.

" Kiara oh my baby...how could I leave you. You are a gift of my Vikram, you are my only sanity. I spent every day from that day accumulating evidence against them...you were a child, vulnerable. How was I supposed to tell you all this? It burned my blood when you called that Dilip your father, I could feel Vikram's heartbreaking too but my hands were tied. My father threatened me if I didn't marry the man he chose for me then he would take you away. I married Dilip right after Vikram's cremation. I could not muster the courage to look at his parents in the eyes but they became my backbone. I had kept one condition that we would leave Bhopal and shift wherever I wanted...I wanted to take you away from that city and save myself the hurt of seeing the city where once I was roaming with the man I loved. The people you think are my parents are Vikram's parents, you dada dadi. They treasured you so much, you were what was left of their son. I took Dilip with me but I never took him for my husband, I never shared a bed. I was already someone's from my heart, for my life. Dilip stayed with us happily because of the wealth Vikram left for you. Vikram had joined the company right after he left college and when you were born he already made a will that all his wealth is yours. I was mad at him for being so ominous and apprehensive but maybe he saw it beforehand, maybe he felt it and that's why he made sure you were in comfort. Papa ran the company till he turned 65 and then he left it to me. All the wealth is yours. I wanted you to go away ... far far away and I had to resort to such a cruel way to drive you away so that Dilip would convey it to my father that I had broken all ties with you ... 8 years my baby...8 years-long battle and we won. Your father got justice, they all are behind the bars till their last breath. " My heart breaks even more listening to how much my mother went through and the anger over myself to ever think low of her.

" Do you want to see Vikram's picture? " Maa asks after a few moments. I lift my head from her lap and looking at her in the eye, no words were said but eyes conveyed.

" Come here baby...how long it has been since I had you in my arms. " Maa opens her arms wide as I stand to sit beside her, hugging her close.

" I have an album, look its right here. " She takes out a dusty album as I snuggle deeper into her. Maa opens the album and the first picture I see is of a very handsome man with his arms circling Maa's waist as they were smiling into the camera. My picture looks old but it colored and I could see identical light brown eyes like mine.

" I got papa's eyes. " I whisper, moving my fingers on his face. Maa was right, he was the most handsome man, his smile could brighten the room.

" It the first year of our college and there was this colored photo booth...Vikram dragged me to get a picture clicked. Later, he got it framed and kept it in his room. " Silent tears fall but a soft smile remains etched to my face looking at my parents, their true love. The love for which they did not pay heed to society, bars, or anything. The love for which my father died.

" This is at Juhu beach. You know at that time a new Japanese company was selling a camera and Vikram bought it to capture our memories together. "

" This is when we went to Lonavala ... I still remember that day as if it was yesterday. We stood below the fall and left all the worldly tensions away. "

" This is him when he secretly came to my room for my birthday... I was turning 22 ... I came back from Mumbai. It was the first year of our masters. "

Maa was telling me the story behind every story, she looked like a college girl. Their love was evident and growing with each passing picture and I cannot help but see Arjun and me in this.

" This when you were born... looks just like a pudding. " Maa takes my face in her hands, kissing my cheeks.

" You still look like a pudding. " She says making me chuckle.

" This is you and your father. The best father-daughter duo. " I take the album from her hands and bring it closer to me. Papa stood there with red eyes and a big proud smile on his face and I was safely secured in his muscular arms.

" I miss you, papa.... so much. I love you ... " I whisper for only us to hear.

" He loved you more than me ... he said I am sorry Usha but if I had to save anyone from both of you I would save Kiara in a heartbeat and I am not even sorry. I was not at all angry or disappointed but my love grew for him. " Maa says wiping my tears.

" Will it ever be ok maa... does this pain ever goes? " I hiccup as a result of excessive crying.

" No, it doesn't. It never will but, you know what will make him happy? That now we stay together...cherishing him all our lives till I meet again. I have lived without him for 25 years but this pain never goes my baby...it pierces every day to the extent that I want to kill myself but every day I woke up looking at you, I was energized to live again. You are our child, our love and you are the last piece of him. I know he left his heart with you when he died... You know when he was found he just one thing,

' My kiara ' and then he slept off for peace. "

" Oh maa... " I throw my body in her arms, shaking and crying for the biggest loss of my life.

" If you think I left you alone on your own, no. I sent Manav with you so that he takes care of you, he told me when you become a judge. I was so proud and wanted to give you something but...but you didn't meet me, it was all my fault. Papa and mumma were so happy, I told them to call you every day as I sat beside them. Years later I saw in the paper with a man and I just thought how would Vikram react to that. Oh god! He would best the man to a pulp just for touching you... " We both laugh solemnly.

" He had planned to never get you married. He said that you already have a man in your life, you don't need anyone else and no one will be ever suitable for me. I used to laugh at his childish antics but he was not joking. "

" I can imagine him doing that to Arjun ... " I say proudly, my father would always be the number one man in my life, forever.

" Arjun..hmm... " Maa says teasing me.

" You have to meet him maa. If it wasn't for him them I would have not agreed to this meeting....he persuaded me to meet you, ask you why you did all this? He told me to listen to you because I am lucky that my mother is alive. " I hold her slightly wrinkled hands in mine.

" I would love to meet him ... you look just like me, in love. " I feel my cheeks getting warm.

" I love him maa.. he is just like papa. He never leaves any chance to say that he loves me, he takes away all my insecurities, he said he would marry me, he asked me to look for a home together ...h...he even said that he wants our kids to be just like me. " I say with zeal and affection.

" Kiara, he does sound like my Vikram...but can I ask you something? " She tightens her hold on my hands.

" Are you ready for the hurdles, hurt, the pain it brings? I do not want you to ever face them but life is not easy...one minute you are happy with your partner and the very next second everything changes. I do not want you to experience heartbreak because my daughter's heart is meant to be preserved...Arjun seems to be an amazing man but what if something goes down... I won't be able to see you like that. " She shakes her head as her eyes turn glossy again.

" Maa...I love him and he loves me. I do not know what the future holds but I know he won't leave me, ever! " I say determined because that is the truth.

" I know baby... I know. I don't want you to experience what I went through... living without the love of your life is a satanic punishment. I don't want my daughter to go through that ... " She comes forward to hug me and I return it happily.