I stare at the mirror in front of me, with a frown on my face. I know I'm not ugly. I notice the girls staring at me when they pass me, and a few have even asked for my number - not that I have given it to them.

I'm not really good with girls, even if I want to be. How do I introduce myself? Hi, I'm Ace. Oh yes, I'm in a gang, may kill people and hide from the police. Nice to meet you.

I'm a lot more comfortable with Alicia because she knows about me. I don't have to hide that from her. I wish I could tell her that I...

I shut my eyes and shake my head. I don't love her. Maybe I have a small crush but it doesn't mean anything, right? I don't care that much. If I loved her, I would buy her food, which I haven't. I don't buy girls anything, except maybe I take a few girls to the movies. It's only okay because we hardly have to talk.

I've been in the guest bathroom of Alicia's house for about an hour now. Maybe she's with Jake, because I haven't heard anything.

I don't know why I want to kiss her so badly. Her lips just look so soft and after that audition, the thought of her lips against mine has been one of the only things I could think about.

Maybe I'm just curious. I wonder if there would be anything between us. Maybe it's the thought of being with a girl who isn't running from me, after finding out when I am.

Any other girl would run for the hills or try go for a quick hookup because apparently I'm hot, but that's not what I want. That never been what I've wanted. Alicia just tolerating me already makes her so much better.

But loving Alicia or not, I still want to make sure she's okay. I don't know why; I know Jake can do it.

I groan again and lean against the tiled wall, shutting my eyes. I'm so confused. I don't know what I feel.

I go downstairs and take a tub of ice cream and start eating it on my way back up. I should go check if Alicia is here because it seems way too quiet.

Maybe she's just making out with Jake.

I hate thinking about that. I don't know, I'm stupid. I make such bad decisions and maybe this is way too soon to even think about liking her but I know what I feel and I can't even try to stop it.

"Ace don't be a jackass. Jake is your best friend. Let him be happy." He probably deserves it more than I do. I don't deserve a girl that beautiful.

But she's beautiful in every single way and I can't stop. I ball my fists up, not knowing what to do. Not once in the past hour have I stopped thinking about the girl that is in love with my best friend.

I should just go tell her I'm leaving.

I stop outside her bedroom door and wait a few seconds, making sure I don't hear Jake. I don't want to put Alicia in an awkward situation by walking in with him there.

I don't hear anything and decide to push the door open slightly, and then a little more. "Al?" I whisper. There's no reply, so I open the door fully and find her lying and staring up at the roof. "Sorry for barging in. I didn't hear moaning and was wondering if you were gone. I just wanted to say that I think I'm going to-"

I go silent when I notice that her cheeks are damp. "What happened? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I have a chainsaw, and don't ask why because it's not for trees. Did he try something that you didn't want? He didnt reject you, did he? If-"

"Shut up!" she screams. Her hand clutches onto a pillow and she throws it right at my face. "This is your fault! If you didn't tell me to go tell him, I wouldn't have heard it. I wouldn't have seen it. You did this!"

I glance down at the pillow that's now on the floor, then walk closer. "What do you mean? Seen what? Heard what? What did I do? I didn't mean to hurt you, I just thought that-"

"Did you plan this? We're you with Jake on this? Was this some kind of sick prank? Is murdering people not enough entertainment for you guys? You knew he would be there with Candace." Tears start falling down her cheeks and she turns away. "He said he loves her, right in front of me. You knew he didn't care about me."

My heart tightens slightly in my chest. For a while there is silence as her words sink in. "You're right."

"What?" She turns to me, not expecting me to say that. "You knew about all of it?"

I close my eyes and nod, wishing I could take it back. Seeing the pain in her eyes makes me want to rip my heart out and give it to her.

Of course I didn't know.

I would never try to hurt her. Even if I didn't know her, I would never do something like that to anyone.

"Get out," she whispers, her voice shaking slightly, and I nod and walk out in silence.

It doesn't matter. The fact that I didn't know Jake loves Candace doesn't matter. I'd rather she hated me than only hating Jake.

After what she said, it doesn't seem like she thought we were friends, anyway. Of course I still have feelings for her, but it doesn't matter. I should stay far away from a girl like Alicia, and Jake should have, too.

I do bad things.

I'm a murderer. No matter how I say it, it's still true. I may only kill people who are criminals, but the police still want me locked up. I still do things that Alicia wouldn't be able to comprehend.

I know she sees me as nothing more than murderer, too. She said it herself. Is murdering people not enough entertainment for you guys? That hurt me to hear her say.

She thinks it's fun for me, but it's not. My dad has Alzheimer's and I need money for him to be properly taken care of, and this is the best way to get it. I knew that I would have to make sacrifices because of it.

This was just another sacrifice I had to make, even though Alicia will hate me forever.

She still thinks of me as nothing but a heartless killer.

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T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx

I n s t a g r a m : laylzk

S n a p c h a t : laylz_k