Ana

Gavin and I were silent when he was driving me home after we had dinner with Nate. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to go out with the both of them. It was awkward as Gavin didn't make any attempt to hide how much he didn't want to be there.

"Can you say something?" I sighed.

Gavin drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the muted radio. "I just don't really see what you see in the guy."

"He's nice."

"You could do better."

I let out a laugh. "I don't really think so."

"Come on, Ana." Gavin snapped. "There's a guy right next door to you who would continue to do anything for you if you just asked. You can't possibly think you can do any better than Justin."

"I know I can't do better." I admitted. "That's the problem. I'm eighteen years old and I'm stuck on one guy. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be stuck on him forever so please don't remind me."

"If you're stuck on him then why aren't you with him now? Why are you with some guy who you clearly-"

"Can you drop it please?" I groaned. "You don't get it, Gavin. You bring home a different girl all the time, you do your thing and then send them home the next morning without a second thought. And you go to college and you live in an amazing apartment." I looked down at my interlocked hands. "I think my parents are going to kick me out."

"What? Ana, they wouldn't do that."

"My dad and I still aren't speaking. Lisa is really disappointed. I heard them talking the other night about apartment hunting. Grams has been trying to get through to all of us but we're all stubborn. I can't believe I told him I hate him."

"Ana-"

"I want to leave, I do. But I don't want to be forced out. I don't want to move somewhere else knowing that my family didn't want me anymore."

Gavin sighed, "Look, if things get too bad, you can come stay with me. No questions asked, free of charge. I'd even give up my room for you and take the couch."

I grinned through a sniffle. "Thanks."

We pulled up into my driveway. "Justin's not the only one who would do anything for you." Gavin said. "You're my best friend. And I'm yours." He shoved me playfully and then pulled me into a one-armed hug.

Grams was sitting on the couch watching TV when I got inside. She looked at me with a smile. "Good night?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Just got some dinner with Gavin." He was the only one who knew about Nate and just how old he was. "Are they still upset?"

"I think they'd be less upset if you were actually ever home to speak with them." Grams raised an eyebrow.

"I apologized to Dad."

"I think it's going to take a little more than that." She said. "You have a visitor. He's been waiting out on the back porch. It's pretty cold but he insisted."

My heart was pounding when I slid open the back door. Justin was sitting on one of the chairs, clutching a book in his hand. When he looked up at me, his eyes were red and heavy, like he hadn't slept in days.

"I know it's late," He said. "But we really need to talk."

"What's wrong?" I sat down in the chair across from him.

"I've been reading these journals like crazy; it's all I've been doing. And I've read some really amazing things, like I feel like I'm getting to know my mom all over again. But as I get to the later ones, they just get darker and darker." Justin flipped through the green journal. "Like, I knew she struggled with depression, but I never knew how badly. And Richard got her through a lot. They had a seemingly normal relationship. But then I got to this," He laid the book out in front of me. "She was fifteen when she wrote this and it was just a year before she met my dad."

I know Richard had a traumatizing upbringing. His mother was entirely his world and then she was taken from him. So I can understand why he would have attachment issues. It doesn't help that my own mother is so misunderstanding and treats him like trash.

Richard has never brought a girl home. Has never even spoken of having a girlfriend. His friends have girlfriends and date but he never has. Tons of girls in school like him but he's never liked them back. And I think I understand now.

I didn't want it to happen, I swear. We were just decorating the Christmas tree and dancing around to Christmas music. We always enjoy each other's company. I never thought anything could ruin that.

But then I called him into the kitchen. I needed him to grab something from the cabinet that I couldn't reach. That was it. He leaned over me to grab it and when he reached back down, he just kissed me.

I was shocked. I didn't want it at all. So when I shoved him away, I slapped him right across the face. "What the hell are you doing?"

You should have seen his face. He was completely in a daze. "I've wanted to do that for a while."

A wave of nausea came over me. "What? How could you say that? I'm your sister, you're my brother. This is wrong."

"You're the only one that understands me, Pattie. All this time, I've been so lonely. The only person I've ever trusted around here is you, Pattie. I don't care that it's wrong, you know me better than anyone else. I've never felt like we were related. I love you."

Then I felt angry. "You stole my goddamn first kiss you sicko!" I screamed. "Stay away from me, Richard."

"Please just listen-" He reached toward me.

"I mean it, Richard!" I shrieked. "Or so help me, I'll tell my mother and I'll make sure you're never allowed in this house again."

He slumped back in defeat when I ran up the stairs but I could hear him lurking outside of my bedroom later that night. I made sure to drag my dresser up against the door so he couldn't get in.

I couldn't imagine my face when I was finished reading. I pushed the journal away from me, looking up at Justin who was glaring down at the ground. He looked angry and I didn't blame him.

"So..." I rubbed at my arms trying to get rid of the chill that was running through my body.

"Richard was in love with my mom." Justin said. "Richard was in love with his own sister."

"I wish I knew what to say." I said quietly.

"My mom was everything to me. She was everything. She was so pure and good and everything amazing in the world. And I just spent years defending this man who took advantage of that. I don't care that he was 'in love with her'," Justin was starting to get worked up. "I don't even want to keep reading these things because I don't think I can handle knowing what else has happened between them." His hands balled up into fists, punching down onto the arms of the chair.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're here with me, you're okay." I rested my hands against his arm, rubbing my thumb back and forth. "Stay here, alright? Right here, don't go anywhere else."

Justin took a few calming breaths before leaning his head back against the chair. I didn't remove my hand. "I don't even know what to do. Knowing that he's lived with me all this time with this in his past. I want to confront him so bad. I want to beat the shit out of him."

"You don't know, maybe all he did was kiss her. Maybe that was it."

"No," Justin shook his head. "My mom was so forgiving. She would have forgiven him for this. But when we had to go live with him, she hated it. Something more had to have happened. I'd only met him once or twice before that. She never wanted him around. But he claims it's because of the mob ties."

I jumped up, leaning more towards Justin. "What? Mob ties?"

Justin just shrugged. "It's a long story but are we really surprised? It was either the mafia or a gang. All my life, I've wanted to know every secret that's been kept from me. And now that they're all coming out one by one, I wish I could go back to oblivion."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Not yet," Justin said. "Now's not the right time. There's going to be a blowout and I need to be ready to up and leave when that happens. I don't know how much longer I can continue living in that house." He sighed, sliding his arm so that his hand was in mine. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I think...that I've been wrong about something." He looked up and our eyes met. "And I know that we've had this conversation before but I've been so fucking stupid."

"Justin-"

"And I have no one, Ana, no one. I don't want to get back together, that's not what I'm saying. I just think a lot of things have changed and we have a lot to get to know again."

"You're right." I said.

"The doctors keep repeating shit to me like me getting better is a 'process' and we've been at it for months. Trying to make me better. But I think there's a hole in the process. And that hole is you."

I stayed quiet, gears turning in my head. I realized then that the only reason I've been avoiding Justin was out of pure stubbornness. I wasn't angry anymore. I wasn't bitter. I was still hurt, yes, but I needed to move on. We would probably never be the people we once were together again. But it was time to grow up.

I grinned over at Justin, intertwining our fingers and staring out at the water without another word.

--

Justin

Reconciling with Ana didn't make me forget just how pissed off I was. I didn't know what was going to stop me from going back to that house and just losing it. I took a deep breath before unlocking the door.

The house was eerily silent as I slid my shoes off by the front door. Richard wasn't in the living room watching the nightly news or in the dining room looking through grocery fliers. He was probably already in bed.

I brushed my teeth and threw a pair of sweats on. There was still a knot in my stomach that flipped over and over and over. There was so much I wanted to do, so much I felt I needed to do but there was nothing I could do at the same time.

She was dead. She was silenced. If she couldn't do anything, neither could I.

I knocked on Richard's bedroom door just to tell him that I was home. When there was no answer, I knocked louder. "Uncle?" I opened the door slowly.

He wasn't in his bed. His bathroom door was open but the lights were off. I walked around the side of the bed, stopping short. "Oh my god."

Not again, this can't be happening to me again. I felt the world around me freeze as I fell to my knees, right in front of Richard's lifeless body.

oh shit

You guys demanded Jana so I gave you Jana. But don't think things are perfect just yet.

twitter: @bugattibiebxr

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RP accounts:

Ana: @Ana_TLH

Justin: @JustinTLH

The RP is still open for any other characters from this story or Lake House, just let me know if you're interested