Chapter 16.

I killed someone......

These words were like lyrics to Cyn's mind that had repeated themselves over and over again. She sat on the bed back against the wall replaying the moments that had happened the other day and it was all clear as day, she killed someone. Her... Cyntana Bridges took a life. Did that make me just as bad as them? Was I one of them? She wondered.

Her mind was at so many places right now and she knew for a fact that she was only an embarrassment to her daddy. It all came like a big wave, like it was all to real and she wasn't about to do shit but watch it all go down.

"Cyn!" Rodney said barging into the room.

"What!" She yelled.

"I was callin' your ass for the past five minutes." He said as she cocked her head to the side looking at him.

"Hmm." She spoke nonchalantly.

"Listen" He said playing with the ring on his pinky finger "I knew you seen some shit and things that were never supposed to happen, but I want you to know that it's the past and ain't shit none of us can do about it now." She looked at Rodney dumbfounded trying to gather words.

"Rodney I don't think you realized what happened, see there's a difference between me and you. You go out and kill people and get use to it I'm not you Rodney this isn't what I do." She gritted.

"What's done is done Cyn, ain't no changin' what you do neither what I do. It's that." Cyn watched as he shrugged walking out of the room.

She always managed to get herself wrapped up in some shit, she was tired of all this shit going on, she wasn't even cut out for this kind of thing and all of this made her wonder, if there was a God why would he put his people in such messed up situations. Yes, Wendell tried to have his way with me and did some unforgivable shit, but ain't nobody deserved shit like that, I didn't deserve shit like this.....she thought. With him it was flat laid out pure execution.

But like Rodney said, what was done is done, and even though she felt bad for it, there was no regret in it. Cyn stood to her feet and fell back on the bed due to the weakness of her body, she stood once more standing firmly on her feet. She walked over to her drawer pulling out some clothes to take a bath.

When she was done she dried her body off and ran the towel through her hair drying it out leaving it damp. She walked to the kitchen to see Rodney laying down on the couch.

"What are doin'?" He asked squinting his eyes sitting up.

"I'm gettin' somethin' to eat...." She mumbled taking the cereal off of the counter grabbing a bowl.

She didn't hear him bitch about nothing no more, at least not at the moment, Cyn walked over to the couch where she sat down and began to eat the cereal.

"Why you ain't make me none?" He asked looking up her.

"You ain't never asked."

"It's my house I ain't got to...." He said trailing off, Cyn rolled her eyes at his slick talk and started to eat up her cereal.

"I can't wait til' I get the fuck up out of here." Cyn heard him chuckle.

"And go where?" He asked sitting up.

"Away from here....away from you." She mumbled.

"Yo' ass not movin' no where actin' like you got some place to go."

"You actin' like I need you." She shot back.

"Bitch you wanna go head and rephrase that, cause if I ain't mistaken your ass surely livin' up in my house."

"You right." She said getting up resting the bowl on the coffee table, she walked to the room and went into the closet taking out her empty suitcase. She walked over to the drawers and yanked them out throwing all of her clothes inside, in no minute time Cyn felt herself being pulled away as her back was slammed into the draw frame, she hissed holding her back as she slid to the floor in pain.

"I told you ain't goin' no where." He gritted throwing everything off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Last time I checked I don't got no daddy, neither did I ever had a nigga." She said still holding her back as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Rodney let breath before stooping down getting all in Cyn's face.

"From yo' ass first stepped foot up in this house you was my bitch." He said standing to his feet leaving her in the room by herself, it didn't take her to sum it all up that Rodney was fucking crazy. She felt the hot tears rain down her face as her passed started to reoccur, she couldn't do this- not again.

Pain shot threw her body like hell, the same way it did when Manny use to toss her around like his rag doll, she couldn't endure this shit no longer, with Manny she made it out, but with Rodney she didn't think he would stop until she was done.

She heard the front door slam as she immediately tried to get up. She held onto the drawer pulling her body off of the floor, Cyn limped over to the suitcase throwing everything that could fit including shoes, sliding her aching body into a pair of jeans and sweat shirt she threw on a pair of tennis.

Cyn grabbed the suitcase handle extending it and walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, she went over to the window where she saw that Rodney's parking spot was empty.

This was her shot.

She went to the front door opening it and stepping out of the apartment not bothering to close the door, she walked out of the yard and stared to make her way to anywhere her feet were liable to take her....

was almost down and hours had past, before she could've taken another step her body went limp dropping to the floor. Cyn felt her body drop into a pile of dirt before propping herself up on both hands. She stood to her feet before grabbing a hold of the suitcase and made her way to some apartment building where she saw a spot she could just rest for a few minutes.

Making it on side of the building she plopped down leaning back up against the wall. Here she am again wondering the streets in the night with no place to go. She sighed letting sleep take over and as much as she hated to admit it, this was the most restful night she'd had in a while.....

, Hey... get up." Cyn felt her body bein' shook multiples times.

"Yo' get up."

"Leave me the fuck alone Rodney!" She yelled.

"Cyn. Get up." Eyes still closed as her brows furrowed making her eyes flutter open, the blur that she was staring at became plain as day.

"Calvin?" She scrunched her eyes as she saw him standing over her with a lop sided grin.

"Where did y- did Rodney sent you out for me?" She asked remembering the fight.

"Yea" He said as a look of disappointment flashed across his face.

"Y-You?" She ask asked as he nodded.

"P-Please Calvin I- I can't go back there please." She begged squeezing his hand

"You did some foul shit Cyn you never suppose to steal from no dealer." He said as Cyn scrunched up her face.

"Wait what?" She asked in a confused confused state.

"Rodney said that he found you sniffing shit I kn-"

"What the fuck are you talking bout' Calvin he tried to kill me, he is crazy Calvin." Shs watched as Calvin faced straightened and he shook his head.

"Whatchu mean tried to kill you Cyn?" He asked.

"I don't know, it's just like he went completely crazy." She mumbled below her breath, she watched as he shook his head.

"Come on get up..." He helped pulled her up as she remembered the bruise on her back.

He grabbed her bags and wasted no time in helping her up into the truck. They drove in silence for a while until she decided to break it.

"Are you gonna carry me back over there?" She asked not looking at him.

"Does it look like?" She felt his gaze but she refused to look at him.

It wasn't long until they pulled up to some apartment complexes and he placed his truck in park.

"Come on..." He spoke as she got out and grabbed her belongings.

They walked up the stairs as he looked around then opened his front door letting Cyn in.

His apartment wasn't nothing fancy but Cyn must admit that it was welcoming.

"I guess you met the real Rodney." He biting his bottom lip, breaking the silence.

"Has he always been this way?" She asked as he nodded.

"Its hard to change after you've live this life for so long, after you've been born into this shit, you realize that this is all you good for and this the only thing that gets your needs met." He said referring to the money that came in because of what they do.

"I just knew it..." She spoke softly.

"Knew what?"

"That he was too good to be true." She spoke as she heard Calvin chuckle.

"Rodney ain't the type of nigga to have a ever after with Cyn."

"Nigga been a pure menace from the day his daddy got sent up." Calvin continued.

"He's so controlling, how'd you even manage to be friends with his ass?" She asked as he she shook his head.

"I was tempted many times to leave Rod, but then I realized my loyalty was gone be broken and that shit was gone follow me for life.....I wasn't that nigga." He said shaking his head.

"So what is this..."

Calvin looked up and shook his head not knowing what should be said.

"I know you ain't done shit, and I know the day Rodney brought you around his only intentions were to use you to the bone and take advantage of someone who was young and naïve, your just a lost baby in this world Cyn, don't nobody give a fuck about you. You gotta make it for yourself." He spoke.

Cyn caught no offense to being labelled as naïve 1. She know thay he was speaking from experience and 2. She knew it was true.

"What about your daughter?" Cyn asked trying to change the subject as she watched his face lit up.

"Calia?" He laughed.

"That's my pride and joy...." He trailed off looking like he was in some deep thought.

She didn't ask him nothing more as her mind drifted away from reality.

Even the thugs got a weakness.....