《The Sinful Mortal》Acceptance
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After class, everyone left, except Artix.
Artix: "Sir, do you have suggestions on how to accept death at any moment? I am fine with not fearing death."
Jacob: "I told you that with acceptance you should try and build your own principles and values. Everyone is different. Anyway, I can give you suggestions. You're saying that you don't fear death?"
Artix: "Yes sir."
Jacob: "Why is that?"
Artix: "Because death will come eventually, there is no escaping it."
Jacob: "You say that now. But, what if I were to kill you now? Would you accept it?"
Artix became quiet.
Jacob: "You don't fear death now doesn't mean you won't come to fear it in the future. How many strong warriors say that death is natural? That they don't fear death? But, when they're about to die, they're unwilling. If you really don't fear death you wouldn't have much trouble accepting it at anytime."
Artix, firmly: "I won't come to fear it sir."
Jacob nodded: "I have read your report and I know about your goal in life. Let's hope this will remain the case."
He continued, "From what I can see, your problem with accepting death stems from your false sense of security. You think that it is impossible for you to die at any moment.
But, how are you so sure?
How do you know that you wouldn't have a heart attack at this moment?
How do you know that the earth wouldn't swallow you without warning? Isn't it spinning?
How do you know that something won't fall from the sky? Whether it is a huge amount of rays or some meteor.
Life is extremely fragile. One second alive the next second dead."
Artix nodded in enlightenment.
Jacob: "Well even if you were to accept these things some part of you might still resist.
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You would wonder. Why me? Why isn't Tom or Harry?
This is easy to resolve. It's not just you. Everyone can die at anytime. This transition from I to We, although doesn't change anything in reality, makes accepting death much easier.
Humans and humanoid beast demons, these are beast demons who are indistinguishable from humans if not for their lack of soul, are self-centred creatures. Seeing others suffer the same way they do makes their pain more bearable. If they are the only one, they would feel oppressed and indignant.
There is another way. Instead of counting the things you don't have. You should focus on the things you have. Always be optimistic."
Artix: "I understand, thank you sir."
**********
Artix made his way back to his dorm while in deep thought. He crashed into many people on the way, but that didn't disrupt his thoughts.
'To accept death at anytime. Hmm... so I need to convince myself that a disaster that is capable of killing me can occur at anytime?? But, what if I am strong? What if I reach the Law King Realm? It is true that I can be killed, but I don't think I would die because of an accident.'
'Mr. Jacob is a Law King so how is he convinced that he can die at anytime? A Law King Warrior can live forever and they can withstand the pressure in the core of a star with their bare body! My guess is that it would be something like a Devil onslaught.'
'I feel like this disaster approach isn't suitable for me. I need to come up with something that suits me better. In the future, if I become strong enough to fight Ancient Ones head on, wouldn't that mean that my channel would get broken?'
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'Damn, I was so close. No, no what am I thinking.'
Artix shook his head to get rid of distracting thoughts.
'This way, I don't need to worry about the issue of accepting that something will happen to me. But, I have this feeling that it might become useful in the future.'
'I know, I will write it down in a notebook. This way I won't need to fear that I will forget it in the future.'
Artix finally arrived at his dorm. He picked up his notebook and recorded what he learnt about death today. It was already late when he finished revising. He went to his bed and checked his messages out of habit. He found one from Dr. Johnson- the psychologist responsible for Artix- informing him about a meeting tomorrow. 'What is this about?' Artix wondered.
**********
The next day, after class, Artix went to Dr. Johnson's office in the asylum. The asylum was located in Jasper System. Artix arrived outside the office and knocked on the door.
"Come in," said an old voice coming from the room.
Artix went inside and found a bed. There was an old man sitting on a sofa beside it. The whole room was brown and there was a fireplace at the back. 'Tsk-tsk, what a cozy atmosphere,' slandered Artix inwardly.
"Hello sir, long time no see," said Artix politely, 'I thought I wouldn't need to come back here again.'
"You don't seem to be happy to see me again," said Dr. Johnson with a smile, "here come lie down," he pointed at the bed.
Artix went and lay down on the bed.
"So, I heard that you managed to join the elites," said Johnson.
"Old man, can you tell me why am I here?" Said Artix, discarding all pretenses.
"Alright, alright, calm down will you? We are here this time to discuss your practice," said Johnson.
"My practice? What's wrong with it?" An ominous feeling crept up to Artix.
"No need to be nervous. We know that you use the laws instead of mana since quite a while now," said Johnson.
"How did you know? Were you spying on me?" Questioned Artix, clearly flustered.
"Your domain was 2 metres when you were discharged. In just four months, you managed to extend it to 24 km. It doesn't need a genius to figure it out, does it?"
"Maybe I bought some medicine. How are you so sure?" Questioned Artix.
"Were did you get the money from?" Retorted Johnson with a question, "Anyway, as I said, no need to be nervous. This is your choice and we can't stop you since you already stepped on this path. I know what you're thinking. Yes, once you use the laws you can't use mana in your practice. But, we will have to go through the normal routine to make sure everything is fine. I hope you will cooperate with me."
"...Damn."
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