- Friday, November 21st, 2014 -

- 15 months ago -

‘Guys!’ Emma runs towards Finnley and me in the cafeteria, both looking like ghosts. I’ve spend my evening and night drinking and partying, Finnley probably spend a little too much time studying. ‘Jacob asked me out on a date.’ She cheers excitedly in front of us. I spare her a glance, while Finnley looks up rather annoyed.

‘Do you have to be this loud?’ He mutters. ‘I’m having a headache right now.’

‘Me too.’ I sigh. ‘But great, congratulations.’

‘Thanks.’ She tells me calmly, cocking her head to the side while watching towards Finnley in curiosity. ‘What’s up with you? Cris having a headache isn’t a surprise after last night, but you?’

‘I told you those shots of yours were killing me.’ I tell her, grinning. ‘They’ll be the end of me someday.’

‘But, you had a great time.’ She grins at me. ‘How did things with Sophia go?’ She wiggles her eyebrows. It sparks Finnley’s interest, making him look at me questioningly.

‘Great.’ Smug grin plastered on my face. ‘We spend some alone time in the bedroom. Rocked her world.’ I wink, Emma scoffs, Finnley gets up from his seat in that instance. ‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m going to the library.’ He tells me with much annoyance dripping from his words. ‘I need to do something before class starts.’

He’s gone before I have a chance to stop him and Emma takes his seat beside me, following Finnley with her eyes until he leaves the room entirely. ‘What crawled up his ass?’ She asks me, still focused on the door.

‘He had a headache…’ I try to explain his sudden departure. ‘Maybe we’ve been too loud.’

‘I swear.’ Emma sighs. ‘That late night studying isn’t healthy.’

‘Tell me something. But he really wants to get into one of those schools.’

‘I know.’ Emma turns around to look at me. ‘So, tell me about Sophia. You gonna date her?’

‘Hell no.’ I scoff. ‘Just some fun. You know me.’

‘Yeah, fuckboy Cris.’

‘I’m not a fuckboy.’ I chuckle. ‘Just not interested in a relationship as long as it isn’t with Julia.’

‘Work up the guts to ask her out, instead of sleeping around with random girls.’

‘She’ll laugh at me.’ I groan. ‘Or her friends will. And I’m not in the mood for public humiliation.’

‘Ask Finn to introduce you to her first. Get her alone, ask her then.’

‘I asked Finn and he refused. Told me to leave her alone.’ Which was a bit hurtful, but then he went on and reminded me I slept with three girls since summer break ended and he didn’t want me to hurt Julia like that, since he is fond of their friendship. It got me to doubt about focusing solely on Julia, but then Emma came around with those bloody shots and drunk me wasn’t on the same page. It took a couple of touches from Sophia to have my conscious fly straight out of the window.

‘You should drink less.’ Emma chuckles. ‘I’ll keep the shots away from you next party.’

‘Please, you promised a couple of times already, yet you always put the Tequila right in front of me.’

‘It’s just funny to see you drunk.’

‘It’s funny to see you try to date a guy like Jacob, while you let the one you want walk out of the cafeteria without so much as a goodbye.’

‘Shut up.’ She slaps my arm. ‘Finn is not interested and I might as well try to move on.’

‘Have you ever even told him about your feelings?’

‘Have you told Julia?’

‘I just told you…’

‘You don’t want to be publicly humiliated, or have her laughing at you.’ Emma repeats after me. ‘I don’t want Finn to start avoiding me because I have a crush.’

‘He wouldn’t do that.’

‘He already spends more time in the library than with us.’ She deadpans. ‘And we don’t see him outside of school anymore.’

‘You don’t. I do.’

‘You do?’ She pulls up an eyebrow.

‘He tutors me for Math twice a week. And we spend Sundays together since our parents go to church together.’

‘Right.’ She sighs. ‘And you never bother to call me on Sunday to join.’

‘Like you’d enjoy gaming with us.’ I laugh at the thought of Emma trying to play games along with us. No chance.

‘I wouldn’t. But I would enjoy to spent time with you andFinnley again.’

‘Than ask him to hang out.’

- Thursday, November 27th, 2014 -

‘Did you check my homework?’ I look at Finnley, who is behind his computer when I come barging in his room.

‘Haven’t gotten to it yet.’ He answers without looking at me. He closes down whatever he’s doing behind the computer and turns around. ‘But I’ll check when you’re taking a shower.’

‘Don’t you like my natural scent?’ I grin at him, dropping the sports bag in the middle of the room. ‘Practice ran late.’

‘Shower.’ Finnley deadpans. ‘I’ll check your homework.’

I do as he tells me, using the bathroom to take a much-needed shower. Practice ran late and by the time we reached the locker rooms, showers turned cold. Something malfunctioning with the hot water is causing water to run cold after a couple of uses and both the basketball team and softball team beat us to the showers. I didn’t feel like a cold shower so I decided to head straight to Finnley’s house. It’s not like I’ve never done this before.

I shower quickly and change into more relaxed clothes before I head back to his room. By now, Finnley is bend over my homework, checking answers. By the looks of it, and the absence of red marker, I did a fairly good job this time.

‘Did I nail it?’

‘Not even close.’ Finnley mutters. ‘But you’re getting there.’ He looks up and around, facing me. ‘If you keep this up, people might even start thinking you’re a nerd.’

‘Well, I guess you rub off on me, don’t you?’ I wink, flopping down on his bed.

‘That sounds really wrong.’ Finnley mutters. ‘So, what’s the deal with Sophia? I thought you liked Julia.’

‘I do. But Stella bought Tequila for Emma’s party. Drunk me wasn’t thinking straight.’

‘Or too straight.’ Finnley spins around in his chair looking at me with a smug grin on his face. ‘Technically, if you wouldn’t think straight, you would rather end up with a guy.’

‘Ugh.’ I look at him annoyed. ‘Technically that would mean it started raining frogs and I would ace the Math’s test.’

‘Chances are slim.’ Finnley rolls his eyes, turning back around. ‘Note taken. That will never happen.’

‘You bet it won’t.’

‘You sound like it’s a bad thing.’

‘Well, it’s not a thing I cheer for.’ I look towards the ceiling. ‘Not that I’d condemn them or whatever…’

‘You mean you have something against gay people?’ Finnley turned back around, looking at me weirdly.

‘Well, no.’ I shrug, sending him a glance. ‘But to say I support them? My parents are highly religious. I wasn’t raised to support them.’

‘Neither was I.’ Finnley deadpans. ‘But I support them.’

‘You do?’ By now, I’m leaning on my elbows to look at him properly. My interest is sparked to find out why we’re even discussing this matter. ‘Didn’t your parents tell you how bad it was and all?’

‘Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own opinion about it.’ Finnley discarded my homework completely by now, crossing his arms in a defensive manner. ‘Please don’t tell me you believe it’s wrong. That gay people go to hell.’

‘What does it matter to you?’ I smirk. ‘You don’t even believe in hell.’

He rolls his eyes. ‘You’re acting dense.’ He turns back around to grab my notebook, tossing it at me. ‘You’ll do fine during your test if you keep it up like this.’

‘Cool, so, what’s the next subject?’

‘Pay attention in class and you don’t need me as a tutor anymore.’ He pushes me off his bed. ‘I’m going to bed.’

‘What?’ I step of the bed before he ends up sending me to the floor. ‘But I just got here? You said we’d be studying…’

‘I’m tired and not in the mood. Besides, you almost nailed your homework. You don’t need more studying.’

‘Are you sick?’ I bend over and try to touch his forehead, as if I’m his mom, checking his temperature. He slaps my hand away. ‘You never go to bed before eleven, doing homework. In fact, just last week you said I need to study more too.’

‘And I’m tired and I’m done with my homework.’ He is holding his sweatpants in his hands, by the looks of it, figuring out if he should start changing in front of me.

‘Did it piss you off?’ I’m not an idiot. I noticed the change in atmosphere. ‘The fact I don’t support gay people?’

‘It does, a bit, yeah.’ He admits, eyes a bit cold.

‘Why does it even matter to you? You’re not gay.’

‘What if I was?’ He deadpans. ‘What if I happen to be gay? Would you support me? Or would you blindly follow your parents and think I’m a sin?’

I cock a brow and open my mouth to speak, although I’m really taken by surprise about this whole conversation. ‘But you’re not.’

‘So, you would think of me as a sin?’

‘I didn’t say that…’

‘But you didn’t tell me different either.’

‘What the fuck is this about Finn? Areyou gay?’

‘No.’ He snaps. ‘But the fact my best friend thinks of gay people as less then him, pisses me off.’

‘What? You want me to start throwing a parade for them? I said I’m not completely against them.’

‘You’re not supportive of them either.’ Finnley crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. ‘You know what? Forget about it. It’s late. I’m tired. This whole conversation doesn’t matter.’

‘Right.’ I nod in agreement. ‘Maybe it would be best for you to go to sleep. You seem tired and stressed lately.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Well, see you tomorrow?’

‘Yeah. See you tomorrow.’

- Friday, November 28th, 2014 -

‘He sent me home at nine-thirty.’ I look at Emma confused. ‘Said he wanted to sleep.’

‘And you had a falling out?’ Emma is in the least a bit surprised Finnley and I had a discussion in which Finnley seemed really pissed off by me. We never had a discussion like that.

‘Yeah, a small one though. He said he was tired. I guess he was already moody when I got there.’

‘What was it about?’

‘Yes or no supporting the gay community.’ I shrug. ‘I was raised by two highly religious people. Can’t blame me for not supporting them.’

‘Idiot.’ Emma slaps her own face. ‘One of his friends is a lesbian.’ She deadpans. ‘It’s one of Julia’s friends too. So, you might want to tone it down a bit if you don’t want her on your bad side.’

‘Finnley hangs out with gay people?’ I’m surprised by that. I don’t think his parents would approve of him hanging around them.

‘Don’t be dense.’ Emma pushes me. ‘I support them too. My cousin is gay. They’re just like us, just different sexual preferences.’

‘Well, yeah.’ I mutter. ‘If you look at it like that…’

‘Cristian.’ She chuckles. ‘They’re people too. And they should have the same rights. What if you figure out you’re gay? You sure would want that, right?’

‘I guess.’ I shrug. ‘But I wouldn’t get that far in life, since my parents would kill me.’

‘They’d love you, even if you were gay.’ She pads my back. ‘What can I say, you’re lovably.’

‘Thanks Em.’ I grin. ‘But I don’t think they’d love me if I were gay.’

‘Honestly, get to know your own parents.’

‘I know them well enough, thank you.’

‘Okay.’ Emma nods. ‘Change of subjects. Math’s test is coming up.’

‘Finnley said I’d be fine as long as I pay attention in class.’

‘Well, didn’t you do a great job at that this morning.’ She lets out a laugh, shaking her head in disbelieve. I might have nearly fallen asleep during class today. She wrote down important stuff for me, so I could ask Finnley about it later on. But, even though lunch break is half way through, Finnley hasn’t showed up yet.

‘We’ll have a free period right after lunch. Go ask him then.’

‘Won’t he be in class?’

‘It’s really bad I know his timetable better than his best friend.’ She grins smugly. ‘He’s free too. I bet he’s in the library.’

‘Well, I’ll go see if he’s there right now.’ I shrug and get up from my seat. ‘I’m done eating anyway. And you got company.’ I motion my head in Jacobs direction, who is walking towards us. ‘Have fun with your lover.’

‘Oh, shut it.’ She mumbles, blushing a little when looking at Jacob. At least she’s into him enough to blush because of him. I was worried at first, maybe she would just be using him.

I greet Jacob hastily, before grabbing my backpack and starting to make my way over to the second floor to look for Finnley. Some of his classmates are in the library, some I find seated in their own little lunch room, but I can’t find the blonde nerd I’m looking for anywhere. Not until I hear angry voices coming from a bathroom, one of them sparking my interest.

I push open the door to find four guys in there. One of them is Finnley, who is currently standing in front of a smaller guy who’s on the ground. The other two I don’t know by name, but definitely by face. They’re the school’s biggest bullies and by the looks of it, they cornered the ginger kid on the floor and Finnley got in their way.

‘Get lost nerd.’ The black-haired bully snaps at him. ‘This is none of your business.’

‘By the looks of it, I just made this my business.’ Finnley snaps back, crossing his arms.

‘You’re asking for trouble, kid.’ The black-haired guy answers back, raising his fist.

‘Hey!’ I call out, dropping my backpack to step next to Finnley, maybe even a little in front of him to protect him. ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’

‘You’re not me.’ The guy smirks, while the other grabs hold of his raised fist. ‘Tobias, let’s go.’ The guy with brown hair whispers. ‘This isn’t worth the trouble.’

‘That’s right.’ I tell them calmly. ‘It isn’t worth it, now get lost.’

‘Shut up, nerd.’ Tobias growls.

‘Tobias.’ The guy besides him starts pulling his arm. ‘That’s Cris Evans.’ He whispers, just loud enough for me to hear. ‘He’s friends with Jaimie.’

‘What do I care?’ Tobias snaps. ‘I wouldn’t give a damn if he would be the goddam king.’ But his fist lowers and his shoulders slump down a bit. It has is advantage to be friends with Jaimie, who’s not afraid to throw a punch. Might I add, a painful punch.

‘Let’s just go. Wrong place, wrong time.’

‘This isn’t over.’ Tobias snaps at the ginger kid on the floor, before looking coldly at Finnley. ‘And if I ever find you alone…’

‘Don’t you fucking dare to threaten him.’ I growl, lunching towards him. Finnley grabs hold of me just in time, while Tobias gets dragged away by his friend.

‘Calm down Cris.’ Finnley chuckles. ‘I could’ve handled them myself.’

‘What are you doing?’ I grab hold of his arms, shaking him a bit. ‘Why did you go out and look for trouble?’

‘They attacked Martin.’ Finnley pulls out of my hold and turns to the ginger kid, apparently called Martin. ‘It wasn’t a fair fight.’ He kneels down and helps Martin up.

‘Thanks Finn.’ He mutters shamefully. ‘I’m glad you came in.’

‘No problem Martin.’ Finnley gently helps him up. ‘Just try to avoid them for a while. Even though they shouldn’t be up here in the first place.’

‘Well, thanks again. I’ll go finish our calculations. See you in a bit.’

‘Yeah, be right there.’ Finnley watches the guy take off, before turning back to me. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Looking for you. Since you didn’t give us a head up you would eat up here. Emma’s got company.’

‘I was busy with a project.’ Finnley shrugs, while he avoids looking directly at me. His eyes dart around my face, but never land on my eyes. ‘I’ll be busy the rest of the day.’

‘Are you still mad at me because of yesterday?’

‘Nah.’ He shrugs and smiles a little. ‘I was tired, remember.’

‘Good, because I didn’t mean to upset you, or offend any of your friends.’

‘Than think a little before you speak.’ He grins at me, before he pads my head and walks out of the bathroom without another word.