Chapter 7 The FPD???

What ushered in the era of the ‘No fart policy,’ was due to a prominent incident involving a secret group of scientists who were studying a rare outer space chemical compound that they hoped could have potentially ended starvation worldwide.

If their research came through, they could synthesize flora life forms beyond common understanding. Enhancing their growth period exponentially. Plants that usually took several years to flourish would be able to blossom in a month. So imagine the growth potential of other products that took less than a year to fructify. They would thrive constantly.

The thought of this instilled added motivation to the group of expert researchers. They aimed to push beyond the limits of their creativity using rare outer space findings. And they did accomplish some amazing things in the early stages of their experimentation. They were able to spawn a spectacular plant that produced edible meat fruit. Yes, a plant that produces meat could satiate the stomachs of many greedy people. There would have been no need for humanity to continue their barbaric slaughter of animals to fulfil their flesh-eating desires.

But we all know that nothing intended for good purposes that could benefit the whole of humanity shall ever flourish on this planet named earth, only those intended for destructive means such as nuclear weaponry. With that being said, the group of researchers let their excitement get the better of them and accidentally leaked the nature of what they were working on.

Top governmental bodies, Multi-billion dollar rivalling companies such as top food source producers, formers along with big medical institutes were aggrieved after coming by this proven rumour. There was no way on earth that they were going to let those damn researchers ruin their years of cultivated influence by creating something that could potentially satiate the stomachs of billions of people! What about their prominent positions? Their profits? It would all crumble if they couldn’t control the stomachs’ of humanity!

No longer would the starving people bow down to them, licking their feet for mediocre jobs that couldn’t feed their families. A lot of people wouldn't be motivated to work for them anymore if they have a free endless source of food to ensure their survival. The world order they built and the pyramid scheme would completely crumble, demoting their status to a worm’s level.

Of course, these influential figures who govern modern society couldn’t allow this to happen. Thus they came up with new sets of laws and implemented certain restrictions to prevent the scientists from advancing further into their research to end poverty and starvation.

For a while, they kept the scientists in check and adopted some of their research for their selfish gain. However, the scientists refused to be bottled down by the world-leading figures and exposed the nature of their research to the general public.

When millions of starving people started supporting the scientists’ research, even funding them, the world leaders became extremely upset to the point where they hired pro assassins to terminate the rebellious scientists. How could they let such brilliant minds live? They were becoming a modern-day Jesus Christ, garnering the masses support on a globular scale. So the world leader needed to crucify them quickly. If this kept up, eventually they would have lost all their influence and commanding power over the simple-minded followers of society.

Their assassination attempt failed due to the scientists retreating underground at an undisclosed location. When the public heard about this, they tried to overthrow the societal gods, otherwise known as government. But due to their military might, they managed to subdue the public mutiny before they could get difficult to control.

Once the public commotion had calmed down, the influential figures scoured their information network until they located where the rebellious scientists were hiding. To their surprise, these researchers weren’t in small quantity anymore. They were backed by a prominent figure that none of them could afford to offend openly. Thus they decided to change their approach and sent in covert operatives to masquerade as enthusiastic scientists.

These covert operatives employed by the world government, secretly did their best to sabotage the scientists’ experimentations. This eventually resulted in a grave error during a major trial. Something went wrong which caused a massive spill of a unique mutating chemical compound. This uncontrollable gaseous compound went airborne on a drastic scale, infecting millions of people in only a few days.

This mutating bio-artificial compound altered something within the infected biological make-up. Whenever they produce gaseous excrement, they exuded a highly toxic corrosive element that was very contagious to whoever inhales its fumes. A lot of people taste effortless death in the spreading of this toxic fumes. Only the world leaders weren’t being affected for they were well fortified in their bunkers and protective spaces.

Soon after, a worldwide mandate was issued, prohibiting every single human from farting again! Of course, this law couldn’t possibly be followed because humans couldn’t submerge their natural urges indefinitely. The authorities had to find a fix to remedy this quickly before the vaporous virus reached their doorstep.

The world governments amassed trillions of dollars out of thin air to combat this flatus virus. They funded a group of expert researchers with every resource they required at their disposal to eradicate the spreading virus. After restless months of experimentation, the group of experts synthesised a fast-acting gaseous compound to neutralize the toxicity of the virus and mitigate the infected civilians.

This in itself wasn’t full proof to completely erase the spreading of the flatus virus. But it was a start and it gave the experts some room to develop a better method. Eventually, they created a suitable vaccine to aid the public, but due to the subtle differences of many humans’ physiological structure, the vaccine also failed to inoculate every human on the planet.

Realizing that they couldn’t entirely kill the flatus virus with any type of vaccine other than the passing of time, the world health organization manifested more trillions of dollars out of thin air to fund the creation of a device known today as the Pooper Module. It was similar to a toilet but fancier. Its core functionality was to neutralise the toxicity of the humans’ gaseous excrement. The infected persons’ vapours weren't harmful to its host, only to others who inhaled it. Whether that person was infected or not.

Because the Pooper Module wasn’t a portable device that anyone could carry with them on the go. The governing bodies of the planet instructed every human to never fart nor defecate in public! They were only allowed to properly emancipate their bowels into the special Pooper Modules created for them. As for new-borns who lacked control of their bowels, they were inoculated regularly with a beta-vaccine which filtered their flatus from becoming corrosive.

In every nation, country, island, city, town and every corner of every street was equipped with multiple Pooper Modules to accommodate the buttocks of the human population. Almost a quadrillion dollars was spent to accomplish this feat. Surprisingly, the virus only affected humans. I wonder why.

Making sure that every single human adhered to their strict laws of conduct and to prevent another massive outbreak from happening, the governing bodies created a trillion-dollar worldwide organisation of enforcers to severely punish those who violated the strict policies. This organisation was known as the FPD. (Fart Police Department)